Chapter 34

Bella felt her body crumple as she stepped back from Edward's bedroom door. A wave of nausea washed over her and she thought she was going to heave. She needed to run, needed to get away from here. But her feet were rooted to the spot. Sighs and moans, male and female, seeped through the wood of the door, crept around the tiny gaps in the door frame, all poison to Bella's ears. She heard enough to know exactly what was happening on the other side of the wall.

The sick feeling eventually passed. Or rather it mutated into a burning heartache inside Bella's chest. She felt tears prick at her eyes and shook her head in a feeble attempt to clear them. She wouldn't cry, not here, not at the scene of the crime. Finding her feet, she stumbled away from the door and headed towards her own bedroom. She ran blindly down hallways, the tears clouding her eyes, and Rosalie's once-wise words ringing through her head, their sharp edges cruelly taunting her: "Any guy who's straight and single will take what's offered to him on a plate." She had no doubt in her mind what Tanya had to offer Edward. But was Edward just "any guy"? Bella hadn't thought so. She'd thought he was different. Different from Mike. Different from Jacob. Different from those other guys who'd been so quick to try and screw her without a second thought. Yet Tanya was now in his bedroom all the same.

I deserve this, she thought. I've been so blind. If only it hadn't taken me so long to see what a great guy Edward is, to admit my feelings for him. I was too late. Too late. The handsome faces of the Calendar Guys flashed through her mind. Emmett, Riley, Carlisle, Paul, Liam, Garrett, Jacob. If she hadn't wasted so much time on Rosalie's stupid challenge and had just opened her eyes to Edward's charms, she could be with someone she really – dare she say it – loves. The realization sent a new dagger of pain through her heart.

A huge sob burst from Bella's chest as she finally reached her room. She couldn't hold it in any longer. She threw open the door, kicked off her shoes and clambered straight into the massive bed, not bothering to take off her clothes. Curling into the foetal position, Bella pulled the covers over her head and cried until tiredness overcame her and she drifted into the fitful, nightmarish sleep of the heartbroken.

oOoOo

"What the hell happened to you last night, Bella? You look like crap."

"Good morning to you too, Rosalie," said Bella, hunched zombie-like over a strong cup of coffee. Despite her broken sleep, she'd woken early, desperate to get out of the house before she had to face Edward and Tanya over breakfast. She didn't want to vomit in her cornflakes.

"Seriously, we were worried about you. You just disappeared. At one point I thought you might have snuck off with Edward, but then I saw him with the leech hanging off him again," said Rose, her voice softening. "I tried calling you but it just went straight to your voicemail. Where were you?"

Bella sighed. "Renee drama." Followed by even bigger Edward drama, she added mentally. She didn't feel ready to go into details about it. It was still too raw. She had woken up feeling numb and wanted to hold on to that feeling as long as possible. It was the lesser of two evils. "I was on the phone with her for nearly three hours, then my phone died." With a pang of frustration, Bella realised she still hadn't charged it again.

Rosalie rolled her eyes as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "Jeez, when is that woman ever going to grow up? Sorry Bells, I know she's your mom, but it's about time she learned to fend for herself."

"No need to apologise. You're totally right. Anyway… Listen Rose, do you mind if we get out of here, like, now? I, er, have some stuff to do back home."

"Sure," said Rosalie, looking puzzled. "Em's just taking a shower, then we can get going. You don't want to wait to say goodbye to Alice? Or Edward?" The last name she said with a playful waggle of her eyebrows.

"No," replied Bella, a little too harshly. "I mean, I can call them later."

"Okay Grumpypants. I'll go and see if Emmett's nearly ready." Rose headed out of the kitchen, leaving Bella alone with her coffee. Or so she thought.

"Uh, hi Bella." Edward. Bella resisted the urge to throw the remains of her coffee in his face. Instead, she gave him a sour-faced nod of acknowledgement and a mumbled greeting. "Oh, I see someone's suffering this morning," said Edward, playfully. "Don't worry, I'll speak quietly."

Bella scowled. How can he be so cheery? She mentally kicked herself for asking the question when she realised the answer. A good fuck the night before would put a smile on anyone's face the following morning. Bella stood up to leave. She couldn't deal with this right now.

"And how's your mom?"

"Oh, she's fine now," answered Bella, tersely, wracking her brain for a way to get out of this conversation.

"Listen Bella, about last night…" Really? she thought. He's really going to do this now?

She squinted her eyes closed and rubbed her head. "Edward, I-"

"Good morning guys!" boomed a lively voice. Saved by the Emmett. Bella breathed a sigh of relief. "Bella, are you ready to go in a minute?"

"You're leaving already?" asked Edward, sounding disappointed. "I was going to cook breakfast. Well, by 'cook' I mean use some pancake mix, but they still taste pretty good." He grinned at Bella, a golden twinkle in his gorgeous eyes. She thought the whole room could hear the sound of her heart snapping cleanly in two.

"Mmmm, pancakes," drooled Emmett in his best Homer Simpson voice.

"No time, big man," said Rosalie, playfully slapping him on the butt. "Bella needs to get going. I'll treat you to breakfast in bed when we get home." He pouted until Rose pulled him into a passionate kiss.

Edward looked at Bella again questioningly. He had a strange look in his eyes that she couldn't quite place. Probably guilt, she thought, turning away abruptly to avoid his stare. "Edward, please thank your Aunt Esme for letting us use the house. I'll see you at the next shoot."

"Um, yeah, sure," he nodded. "See you then, Bella." He looked as if he might say something else, but Bella flew out the room before his words could shatter her heart even more.