O'Neill Residence
Colorado Springs, CO
January 25, 2000
It was dark by the time Jack came home. Past Ife's bedtime and probably a hell of a lot later than Sam had expected. Sure, he'd called and left a message on the answering machine that he'd be home late but with no indication of when. He felt a bit of guilt over leaving her in uncertainty and not being there for Ife, but he'd been brooding all day and knew he wasn't good company.
To his surprise, he nearly bumped into Sam carrying Ife in the hallway. "Oh, hey."
"You're home late," Sam said, frowning. "I was starting to get worried."
"Debriefing took forever and the brass wanted an explanation from Hammond and me via video conference."
She shifted a dozing Ife in her arms. "I didn't think it would take all day."
He reached out to brush a lock of Ife's hair behind her ear, the sight of their daughter making him feel worse. Glancing away from her, he looked at Sam and sighed. "The guys were upset from what happened on Euronda. Daniel doesn't understand and, well, you know how he gets."
"Well, there's dinner in the fridge if you want it."
He winced at her dismissive tone and reached out to touch her arm. "I thought the munchkin would be in bed already."
There was a look in Sam's eyes he couldn't quite place when she answered, "She wanted to see you and I figured it wouldn't take you all evening to get home so I let her stay up until she crashed."
"Shit," he said, running a hand though his hair. The guilt increased. He'd wanted to see Ife too – it had been days since he'd seen her last – but he felt his foul mood would only make things worse. "I'm sorry, Sam."
"I know you had a bad day, Jack," she said, sighing. "We can talk after I've put her to bed."
Grimacing, he nodded. He wasn't sure he wanted to talk. Or, at least, he didn't want to know how she really felt about the decision he'd made on the ramp earlier that day. Talking was probably inevitable but he would have preferred staving it off for a little longer. Maybe have one more day to pretend things were good between them. That he wasn't some sadistic bastard who closed the iris on a man fleeing for his life.
He took off his coat before wandering into the rest of the house. The living room looked cozy with the low lighting and the fireplace. He turned to the kitchen, not feeling like he had a right to disturb the inviting atmosphere Sam had created. The kitchen was a mess and that he could work with – he started clearing up the pots and pans she'd used for dinner. Once the counter was cleared and spotless, he grabbed a Guinness from the fridge and made his way out back.
Before he realized what he was doing he'd climbed up to the platform and took a seat. The wood of the old chair was cold but he hadn't thought to grab a blanket. Suppressing a shiver he took a sip of beer and rested his feet on the railing. There were plenty of stars visible and he settled in to do some stargazing with the naked eye, hoping it would have the usual calming effect on him.
That was where Sam found him a little while later. She tossed him a throw blanket and leaned against the railing, watching him. "That's the second time today I had to come looking for you."
"You found me this time," Jack said gruffly. At her pointed look at his feet, he reluctantly dropped them to the floor and watched as she moved to stand opposite him. He draped the blanket over his legs, ignoring her on purpose. Maybe if she got cold, she'd leave him alone with his dark thoughts.
"You've been avoiding me."
It was a statement rather than a question so he didn't reply, simply glanced up at her. Her blonde hair was a sharp contrast with the dark night's sky and he briefly wondered what her body would look like bathed in moonlight before pushing that errant thought into another dark corner of his mind.
She leaned a little to the left and stretched out her arm to turn on the small lantern in the corner, adding some artificial illumination to the platform. He could see her face now but the look in her eyes was still unreadable. Straightening up, she crossed her arms and tilted her head a little. "So, was that your plan? Avoid me and Ife to brood out here in the darkness?"
"You were there," he said, deciding to bite the bullet. "So, you can imagine I'm not good company right now."
"I know what happened."
Her soft tone surprised him. She sounded almost… sympathetic. He took a swig of beer and wished he could get a better look at her eyes. "You were there in the gate room but you don't-"
Sam interrupted him, "You closed the iris on that Eurondan leader, knowing he'd follow you."
"Guess the rumor mill has been working overtime."
"MacKenzie told me."
Jack made a face at the man's name and plucked at the beer's label. He'd forgotten about her session and the thought of the two of them discussing his reprehensible actions didn't sit right with him. God only knew how the shrink felt about what he'd done. "Of course he did."
She sighed and waited until he looked up at her before she spoke, "Jack… just talk to me."
"What do you want me to say, Sam? That I'm sorry Alar died? I'm not – he got what he deserved."
"I know-"
"You don't know," he argued, scowling at her. "They played us. Those xenophobic racist bastards lied to us! They started the war on their planet. Do you know how? By building an underground base with pipes leading up to the surface to poison the atmosphere – and they had the audacity to complain that their enemy hadn't been exterminated yet by their attempted genocide!"
She slipped her hand in his hair and tugged gently until he looked at her, the intimate gesture a calming influence on him. "That's awful, Jack."
He nodded in agreement, the understanding expression on her face reassuring him somewhat. Still tense, he took a swig of beer and set the bottle down on the armrest. He caught her hand where it ruffled his hair and locked onto her blue eyes, holding her gaze.
Then, he cleared his throat and started telling her about what happened on the planet. "He pleaded with me. Alar. Begging me to let him come to Earth and in return he'd teach us everything he knew." It wasn't like him at all but he wanted, no needed, to make her understand why he'd closed the iris to Alar. She had to know he wasn't some deranged bastard who took satisfaction in ensuring people he disagreed with died. "I couldn't risk it."
"You knew he'd follow you."
"Yeah," he said. "You know what would happen if he came here. Everyone would want a piece of him and he'd manage to get himself a good deal for his knowledge. After what happened to you with the Rogue NID…"
She gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. "There's plenty of bad guys here already. We can do without the Eurondans starting WWIII."
Pure relief washed over him at her response yet he couldn't help but remember the wide-eyed look on her face back earlier that day. "I made a judgement call on the ramp and I don't regret it, but I don't expect you to understand."
"Alar was a threat." She grabbed his beer with her free hand and sipped it slowly, before setting it aside. Her jaw was set when she spoke again, unflinching. "You did what you had to do."
"Sam, I don't want you to think-"
She shushed him with her fingers on his lips. "I fully support your decision."
The change in her demeanor and complete understanding threw him. The feelings her touch elicited in him weren't helping either. He grabbed hold of her hand and got to his feet, the blanket on his lap falling to the floor. They were practically standing toe to toe and he knew he was crowding her a little, but she didn't flinch or cower and simply tipped her chin up to look him in the eye.
Knowing she wasn't intimidated or, worse, scared of him despite his actions on the ramp made him feel like the man she deserved even if he was sometimes a man who had to do bad things. He lifted his hand to caress her cheek, "You don't have to. You know that, right? You're allowed to feel conflicted about it, I saw how hard you took the deaths of those first three Eurondans."
"I know." The serious look on her face made way for a little smirk, "But I've got your six, Jack."
"Just like that?"
She leaned into his caress and the small gesture of trust made him feel grateful for her and a little proud of the progress she'd made in the past couple of months. Smiling, she slid her hands in his hair and pulled him a bit closer. "I know you've done a lot of things you're not proud of," she said in a low tone. "But you don't enjoy inflicting harm on others. I trust you."
The realization that she knew about his dark past, understood his actions and accepted him so easily was a heady one. She wasn't the first woman who'd claimed to know and trust him but from the way she was looking at him, he knew Sam was the only one who truly saw all of him – and she still welcomed him in her arms. "They gave us a storage device with all the specs and formulas their technology is based on," he blurted out.
"But you told the General-"
"I threw it back at Alar before I left," Jack said, interrupting her. "I just… you didn't see the Eurondans, their stasis pods or the vegetative state their pilot was in. That tech could be damning in the wrong hands-"
"I know." She glanced away for a bit, shaking her head. "There's a reason I've kept my ability to control certain Goa'uld tech from my reports."
Jack nodded when her gaze found his again. Of course she would understand – aside from him, she hadn't told anyone about the extent of her abilities or the Goa'uld knowledge she retained from Herit. Up until now he hadn't seen the similarities. "Yeah."
There was a faraway look in her eyes and she frowned a little when she spoke again, "I've done certain things while I pretended to be Herit and chose not to act at times-"
"Sam-"
"They were decisions I never thought I'd have to make and they cost me, but they kept Ife and me alive."
They had spent many evenings together just talking about her time with the Goa'uld and while he was aware she had probably kept a few things to herself, he also knew a lot of the dark and twisted stuff she lived through. She was different from the woman he spent the night with in DC, she was stronger – both mentally and physically – and a bit sharper around the edges. A little darker. He reached out to push a lock of hair behind her ear, trying to convey his understanding through his eyes. "You made those choices so you could come home."
She moved her fingers through his hair, a small smile on her face. "That didn't make it any easier. Some of them still haunt me and occasionally I find myself second-guessing my actions back then, wondering what would have happened-"
"Hindsight is 20/20."
"That doesn't mean what I did back then was right. I wish I had your conviction and could say I didn't regret some of the things I did."
He huffed at the praise, "I've made a hell of a lot of mistakes and sometimes others ended up paying the price."
"Not in this case. We don't need the Eurondan technology. Not at that price. We have the Asgard and other allies, and so far we've managed to hold our own. You made the right choice," she added in a soft voice. "You're a good man, Jack."
"Sam…" He sighed as her fingertips caressed his ears, a warmth spreading through him at the touch.
"I know you'd do anything to protect those you care about," she whispered, biting her lip. "And sometimes that means sacrificing a piece of what makes you you. The fact that you have a conscience is what distinguishes you from people like the Eurondans or the Goa'uld."
He could see her trust and conviction in those big blue eyes of hers and for a moment he wondered what he'd do if she ever stopped looking at him like that. "What happens when there's nothing left to sacrifice?"
"I love you, Jack," she said, "and I'd never let that happen."
His heart skipped a beat or two at her words and then he pulled her flush against him, kissing her almost hungrily. She responded immediately, her lips moving against his as a soft moan sounded from the back of her throat. He poured all of his feelings for her into it, eager to accept her love and show her how much she meant to him. One of his hands found its way into her hair, keeping her in place as he thrust his tongue into her mouth and the other was low on her back as he pressed his hips against her.
Sam kissed him back fervently, pulling him impossibly closer as she sucked on his tongue and slid a hand under his shirt to dig her nails into his back. He was already half hard and ground himself into her, dimly realizing she was pressed up against the railing. The taste of her was intoxicating and the way she reacted to him made him feel a bit invincible in the wake of the cracks he was feeling after the run in with Alar.
"Jack," she murmured between kisses, pulling back a little.
He followed her blindly, recapturing her lips and exploring her mouth with his tongue while his hand roamed her back. It took him a moment to realize she was pushing against his chest and reluctantly pulled away. "Sam?"
She smiled up at him and played with the hair at the nape of his neck. "I need to breathe."
"Ah." Her breathlessness made him smirk a little, although he was a bit surprised at how quickly they'd spun out of control. He was still pressed up to her intimately but for the first time he didn't feel like pulling away to put some space between them – and from the way she was rubbing herself lightly against his erection she didn't mind.
When she licked her lips his gaze was drawn to her mouth and he felt the urge to kiss her again, but from the rise and fall of her chest he knew she was still trying to catch her breath. Needing to taste her again, he brushed her hair aside and started kissing his way down her neck. Her skin was warm and he could feel her racing pulse as his tongue darted out.
A shudder ran through her when he hummed against her neck and in response, Sam slid her fingers in his hair and wrapped her other arm around his waist. She pulled him against her body until they were touching head to chest. Tilting her head backwards she gave him a bit more space and simultaneously pushed her breasts more fully against him.
Jack growled at the feeling of her hard nipples through his sweater and circled his hips, trying to alleviate some of the pressure. His self-control was hanging on by a thread but when he took a deep breath to regain some control his nostrils simply filled with her scent.
"I love you." Sam pressed a kiss to his temple after her whispered confession and started nuzzling his hair.
He pulled away from her tempting neck and was nearly floored by the emotions on her face when they locked gazes. Up until now, he hadn't realized how much of her feelings and thoughts she'd kept hidden from him, in a manner not dissimilar to his own. "God, Sam-"
"Let's go," she said, pressing her fingers to his lips.
"Go?" Jack asked after clearing his throat. He was pretty sure he wasn't in any state to climb down the platform and if she was simply calling it a night then he'd be better staying for a little while before he did something he'd regret later.
She giggled and gently pushed him back to slip away from between his body and the railing. "Jack?"
He wiped a hand over his mouth and tried to keep his facial expression as neutral as possible as he replied, "Yeah?"
"Bedroom?"
"What about Ife?'
Sam looked up at him from her lashes, a smile on her face. "Remember how we discussed it was time for her to get her own bedroom? I sort of got started on that when you were on your mission."
Jack smirked, appreciating her ingenuity. "Yeah? How's that working out?"
"So far so good," she said, before walking over to the ladder. "You coming?"
He ignored the painful pressure on his erection to climb down as fast as humanly possible and followed her into the house. She threw him a beaming smile over her shoulder just before he managed to snag her hand. Using her momentum as she twirled, he had her pushed up against the wall near the bedroom door. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and he placed his around her waist, settling his hands on her ass. She smiled into the kiss, her mouth opening almost immediately for him and her tongue welcomed him as he ground his hips against her.
And before he realized it, she'd opened the door and pulled him into the bedroom with her, without breaking apart. They stumbled a little as they kicked off their shoes, coming to a stop near the bed. Her soft lips on his were distracting though. They were wet and glided across his own while their tongues tangled together, dueling for dominance. Hands were suddenly under his shirt and he growled as nails dug in his back.
He fisted one hand in her hair, holding her in place for his assault on her mouth. His other hand found its way back to her shapely rear as he ground his hips against hers. Their kisses grew more passionate and then her hands were all over him, tugging on his sweater. They broke apart breathlessly and Sam pulled his shirt over his head, before yanking him back to push her tongue into his mouth.
Any hesitation he might have felt disappeared as soon as her hands found their way to the waistband of his jeans. He groaned her name when she ran her fingers over the straining fabric and felt her smile into the kiss in response.
Sam pulled away, licking her lips, and took a step back. Smiling wickedly, she gave him a thorough onceover that made his blood rush south. Then, she started undressing herself slowly. There wasn't a trace of insecurity, doubt or shyness on her face as she discarded her sweater and top, leaving her standing there in her jeans and bra.
Jack's hungry eyes took in every inch of pale skin, lingering on her full breasts. She was gorgeous. A little thinner and more toned than he recalled but with curves in all the right places and his hands were itching to touch her. He licked his lips when she started undoing her jeans and after catching the silent question in her eyes, he copied her. Popping the button had him groaning in relief but it was short-lived when he caught sight of Sam's bare legs.
"Don't stop now," she said in a hoarse tone.
He couldn't help it and simply stood there, staring at her as she bent over to pull the jeans off those long legs and remove her socks. The moment was broken when she straightened up and leveled an expectant gaze on his opened jeans, one eyebrow raised. Grinning, Jack pushed his jeans down his legs and hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his boxer briefs.
Sam bridged the distance between them in a second, running her fingers down his chest in a teasing manner. "Let me," she murmured, when her hands encountered the fabric.
Swallowing hard, he held up his hands in surrender and watched her face as she started tugging the underwear down his legs. His mouth turned dry when she was practically kneeling in front of him and he felt himself harden even further when looked up at him from under her lashes, a seductive smile on her face.
"Sam…" He took a deep breath when she licked her lips and leaned in, bending down to let her lips brush his scarred knee in a feather light touch. Her tongue peeked out and he balled his fists in an attempt to control himself, his erection straining. A sigh escaped him after she moved to his other knee to repeat the caress, nails digging into his palms. Then, she started kissing and licking her way up his leg, her hands trailing up to his hips. He grabbed the back of her head as she nuzzled her way to his groin, a strangled moan torn from the back of his throat when she pressed her soft lips against the base of his erection. His hips bucked when she lapped at him unexpectedly, his cock jerking at the wet touch.
All too soon she moved away, running her tongue along the crease where thigh met hip before she rose graciously. She trailed her nails up his chest, the fiery sensations feeding his desire. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her flush against his body, his erection trapped between their bellies. "You're gonna drive me crazy," he muttered, before slanting his mouth over hers.
"Jack," Sam whispered his name between kisses, their lips gliding wetly against each other. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rubbed herself against him, the friction of her underwear and skin on his sensitive flesh pushing the boundaries of his self-restraint.
He was getting lost in the taste and feel of her, his mind focused solely on her and his need to bury himself inside of her. His hands explored her smooth back, the skin warm under his calloused palms and his hips moved restlessly. Sam moved her hands to his shoulders and he was dimly aware of her guiding him somewhere, but he still startled when the back of his legs bumped against the mattress.
"Get on the bed," she said, gently pushing at his chest.
Jack did as he was told and obediently settled on the covers, watching her with bated breath. Under normal circumstances he was usually the one taking the lead but he wasn't going to push her and to his surprise actually got a little thrill out of her being in control. His whole body tensed in anticipation when Sam followed and straddled him. His gaze was drawn to her full breasts and he was tempted to rip her bra off but instead lets his hands rest on her hips, thumbs caressing the smooth and toned skin of her abdomen.
A shudder ran down his spine when she slid her hands in his hair, caressing the top of his ears with the fingertips. "We've waited so long for this," she whispered, as she leaned in and started kissing her way down his jaw.
He took a deep breath, unable to form a reply. The feelings her touches and nearness elicited were testing his self-restraint. His eyes fluttered closed when she continued to kiss a path down his neck, her tongue licking and tasting along the way. This near, Jack swore he could smell her and her scent went straight to his head. His cock jerked when she leaned closer, her breasts brushing his chest.
Opening his eyes again, he drank in the sight of her. The pale column of her neck was too inviting to ignore. His mouth landed wetly on the soft skin and her teeth scraped his throat as she gasped in surprise. He worked his way down while his hands started roaming her back, sucking at her pulse point before moving on to lick the outline of her collarbone and fingering the waistband of her panties.
He bucked when Sam tongued his ear and as a result his erection brushed her inner thigh. A jolt of pleasure went all the way to his balls at the contact. "God," he groaned, voice muffled against her shoulder. She wiggled a little, making him grit his teeth as the sensitive head of his cock rubbed against her skin, covering it in pre-cum.
"Jack, touch me," she whispered, her breath ruffling his hair, and moved restlessly. "I'm so wet already."
His hands stilled and he leaned back a little to look her in the eye, all too aware of his own pulsing need and their loud breathing in the otherwise silent bedroom. The blue of her eyes was barely visible with her dilated pupils and desire was written all over her face. He reached up to brush his thumb over her swollen lips, while his other hand traveled to the front of her panties. Slowly, he trailed his fingers down, smirking when he brushed over her clit. She bucked and threw her head back at the touch, a soft moan escaping her lips.
The fabric of the crotch was soaked, his cock jerking at the discovery. He started rubbing her and it didn't take her long to circle her hips in sync with his caresses. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against her throat and started kissing a path all the way to the swell of her breast. God, the skin was so soft yet firm. He nuzzled the outline of her bra, pushing the cup down to reveal more of her pale skin.
Panting, Sam grabbed his head and pressed her chest forward. "God, don't stop. More, please."
Jack kept up his ministrations while his free hand cupped her other breast, kneading it through her bra. Using his thumb, he circled her hard nipple, smirking against her breast when the little bud grew even harder.
Moaning, she shifted and started moving lower, towards his lap. Her blue gaze caught his when she reached for his cock, her palm warm and strong as she took him in her hand. She didn't look away as she started sliding up and down slowly, a satisfied little smirk playing around her lips.
The sensations she evoked threatened to get him off already and he gritted his teeth, trying to hang on. It had been so long since he'd had sex and the way she was stroking him was bringing him closer to the edge. She was growing wetter by the second as well, his fingers already coated in her juices through her soaked panties. Dimly, he realized they were going to need protection soon… "Sam-"
She slowed her hand movements a little but kept up her almost desperate grinding against his fingers as she indicated the nightstand with a tip of her chin. "Condoms. Top drawer."
"Right." Reluctantly, he withdrew from her to lie back on the bed and reach the drawer. He felt her settle her weight on him as he grabbed a handful of condoms. Just as he returned his attention to her she started circling his slit with her fingertip and his eyes threatened to roll to the back of his head. "Oh, fuck. I'm not gonna last long if you keep that up," he hissed.
She released him, trying to look chastised but the little grin on her face told him a different story. A second later she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra.
Jack groaned when she threw the undergarment to the side and immediately reached up to cup her breasts in his hands. They were full and firm and oh so pale compared to his hands. His mouth watered at the sight but she pressed down on his chest to keep him on the mattress. He barely had time to respond before she shifted and shimmied and miraculously managed to pull her panties off, only for them to join her bra.
He had to abandon her breasts to roll on a condom but as soon as he was done, his hands were back – and so was Sam's hand. "Sam-"
"I can't wait any longer," she said, lifting up and guiding his cock to her opening.
She was like liquid heat all around him and he couldn't help but thrust up, burying himself deeper inside of her. He growled at the sensations, so warm, so wet, so slick…
"Jack," she moaned his name, eyes closed and biting her lip. "Feels so good."
Wordlessly agreeing, he pulled out a little and settled one hand on her hip before he thrust back. God, so good. He let her set the pace as she started rocking on him, watching her as she rode him and feeling the tension at the base of his spine increase.
Sam started moving faster, her breasts bouncing and she steadied herself with a hand on his chest. "Don't hold back," she said, as she dipped her other hand between their bodies to stroke herself.
He felt her inner muscles contract as she rubbed her clit and he groaned, trying to keep his climax at bay so she could come first. Rolling her sensitive nipple between his fingers, he started thrusting up harder.
It didn't take her long to get herself off as she slid up and down his cock. She came with a wordless cry, her hips faltering as her orgasm ripped through her.
"Hang on," he murmured, before he rolled them both over, settling himself above her. She gasped at the change in position, eyes wide as she looked at him. Leaning in, he caught her lips with his own, moaning into the kiss as he felt the after tremors of her orgasm ripple around him. Slowly, he started moving again, sliding in and out of her in an ever-increasing pace as he nuzzled her neck. She hiked up her legs around his hips, pulling him in deeper, and dug her nails into his shoulders. A shudder ran down his back at the sensations and soon his hips were jerking, his orgasm clawing its way up his spine.
He heard Sam murmur something in his ear but the sensations were too much and all he was aware of was his climax as he came, bucking and growling her name. Slowly, he came back to himself and he realized she was stroking his hair. He caught her gaze, pleased to see the satisfied look on her face.
"I'd say that went well," she said dryly.
Jack chuckled in response and rolled off her. "I don't know about you, but I think that's a bit of an understatement," he said, raising a brow.
Grinning, Sam leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. "It was pretty good."
"Agreed." He winked and held her gaze for a little while, before he gestured towards the bathroom and sat up, "I'll be right back."
She reached for the covers to straighten them and lay back down, the satisfied little grin still playing around her lips. "And I'll be here, waiting."