O'Neill Residence
Colorado Springs, CO
January 26, 2000
A pleasant hum was coursing through Sam's body when she woke up. She blinked against the morning light streaming into the bedroom and sleepily recalled the night before, a smile spreading on her face.
Closing the curtains hadn't even crossed her mind.
She stretched a little and let out a happy sigh as her gaze settled on Jack. He was on his side, watching her with those dark eyes of his. A thrill ran down her spine at the intensity in his gaze and she reached out to touch his hand – fingers thrumming restlessly on the bed – where it lay between them. "Hey there."
"Hey." His voice was hoarse and there was warmth in those brown orbs as he turned up his palm and intertwined their fingers. "How are you feeling this morning?"
"Oh, I'm good." She grinned and leaned up on her elbows, feeling the covers slide down her bare back with the move. "A little sore… in a good way," she added at seeing his concern.
"Yeah?"
She giggled and ducked her head. "You bet."
Squeezing her fingers, he smirked. "Good."
"Did you sleep well?" He was as handsome as ever but looked a little tired and it reminded her of the fiasco his latest mission turned out to be. That was bound to take its toll on him. She lifted her hand and brushed it along his cheek, smiling when his eyes fluttered closed in response.
"Like a baby," he said as his eyes popped open and winked as he added, "courtesy of being back in my own bed, of course."
Sam rolled her eyes at his teasing and ran her hand through his hair, tugging slightly at some of the silver strands. "Smart ass."
His smirk turned into a genuine smile, dimples and all, as he regarded her. His dark eyes sparked with something she couldn't define but the intensity in them made her heart beat faster. Jack cocked his head and placed a hand on the side of her neck, his thumb caressing her cheek.
"What?"
"Nothin'."
She wiped a hand over her mouth and chin self-consciously, frowning at him. "Have I been drooling in my sleep or something?"
To her surprise, he actually laughed at her and shook his head. "Nope." As if to prove it, he leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. "You look your adorable sleepy self. No crazy pillow creases, mascara smudges, drool or whatsoever on your face."
"Then why do you keep looking at me like that?"
"Because I love you," he said simply.
The confession itself wasn't a surprise because he'd already shown it in every way possible but the voiced declaration made her breath hitch. Looking at him tenderly, she pulled him closer to capture his lips with hers in a deeper kiss. He tasted like mint and she dimly realized he must have brushed his teeth at some point. He responded eagerly, his tongue soon slipping between her lips to explore her anew.
Moaning, she welcomed him into her mouth while her hand moved down to his chest. She started running her fingers through his sparse chest hair, tugging gently every now and then. He groaned when she ran her nails over his nipple and she smiled into the kiss. His tongue became more insistent, his hand cupping the back of her head to keep her in place as he ravaged her mouth. Sam let him take the lead this time, enjoying the feelings he elicited with his skilled tongue while her lips glided along his.
After a little while they broke apart breathlessly, foreheads pressed together. Sam smiled when Jack rubbed his nose along hers as they tried to catch their breath. "I could get used to this," she murmured.
"A good way to start the day," Jack agreed, smirking.
"We should make a habit of it." She shifted to get a bit more comfortable and placed her hand atop of his where it lay between them. Goosebumps appeared on his arm when she trailed his long fingers with her own in a feather light caress.
He sighed contentedly as he looked down at their hands, turning his own upright to slip his fingers between hers in a warm grip. "I heard a rumor someone gave my room away, so I guess you're stuck with me whether you like it or not."
Smiling, she caught his gaze. "Well, Ife is getting too old to sleep in my bed, but I'll admit to having an ulterior motive."
"Yeah?"
"You bet."
The dimples made another appearance as he grinned at her, "Cool."
Rolling her eyes, she lay back down with her cheek on the pillow. "What time is it?"
"A little after oh five hundred," he said, releasing her hand to flip the cover off his watch.
Unable to resist temptation, Sam reached up and ruffled his hair while his head was down. "What time do you have to go in?"
He lifted one shoulder in a shrug and looked up at her, before his gaze wandered to her bare back. "I need to submit my mission report by the end of the week. No missions for SG-1 for a while either. Daniel requested permission to visit Abydos for a long weekend and Hammond approved. Teal'c was thinking about using that time to visit his family and the Rebels. So…"
"So, you're all mine?"
Smirking, he winked at her. "Yeah sure, you betcha."
"I like the sound of that."
"Yeah? Me too."
She hummed when he reached out to touch her, his fingertips trailing lightly down her spine. The touch elicited a shudder and she smiled into her pillow. He was a tactile man and when she woke up, she'd recognized his desire to touch her warring with a need to control the urge in case she didn't welcome it. The fact that he'd hesitated for fear of startling her out of her sleep and bringing back bad memories made her love him all the more. "We should get up… Ife will wake up soon and I need to be on base on time."
He made a noncommittal sound and started tracing invisible patterns on her back. "I'll take care of the munchkin today," he said after a minute. "You can get some more sleep, while I get started on breakfast."
"No, stay," she said drowsily. His hand was warm on her back and the touch had a relaxing effect on her. Low-level arousal stirred in her belly in a comfortable way when he chuckled and leaned in to kiss her shoulder. "I might not be able to get up, though."
"Wanna play hooky and call in sick?" He asked, murmuring against her skin.
Resisting temptation, she shook her head. "No, I can't. I need to see Daniel and Teal'c before they go off-world."
Jack caught her eye and raised a brow. "About the Goa'uld?"
"Nyan and I have been working on outlining the Goa'uld hierarchy and making a family tree if you will of the System Lords by using mission reports, mythology, intel from allies and what little Herit knew."
"And you want them to help out?"
She shrugged and rolled onto her side to face him. "Teal'c already gave a lot of information over the years but if he's going to visit his family and the Rebel Jaffa he might be able to get some updates about the state of the galaxy."
Nodding, he reached out and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, understanding showing on his face. "And Daniel can ask Sha're and Skaara what they remember from Amaunet and Klorel."
"Every bit can help."
"I'm sure they'll do their best. They want the Goa'uld gone as much as we do, if not more."
Sam noticed the way he schooled his features at the mention of the two former hosts and knew it was for her benefit. Especially Skaara and Klorel were difficult because of the life she had to live as Herit. She still had difficulty separating the two even though she knew Skaara was just as much a victim as she'd been herself. Then again, she was pretty sure Skaara was just as uncomfortable with her from what Jack had told her about his conversations with the Abydonian. "The problem is that neither seems to remember much," she said, frowning.
Jack hesitated for a moment and didn't speak until she touched his forearm. "If Daniel is not successful, maybe I could go talk to them…"
"I know you and Skaara had a good relationship before he was taken," she said softly, squeezing his arm in support. "You don't have to avoid him on my account. I know all of this put you kind of in the middle but you care about him and I don't want you to hold back for me."
"It's not just that… it's a little weird," he confessed.
The past couple of weeks they'd done a lot of talking about her time with the Goa'uld and off-world, including the relationship with Klorel as she'd pretended to be his mate. To her surprise, Jack already knew a little about the more intimate side of things from his conversations with Skaara. She hadn't gone into great detail and even kept the things Klorel had told her about Skaara's thoughts and feelings for her from him – they were either a lie or an uncomfortable truth she could live without – out of respect for his bond with Skaara. "He's had some more time to readjust on Abydos now. Maybe things will be less awkward."
He made a face and shrugged. "Maybe."
"If his and Sha're's knowledge of the System Lords isn't easily accessible you might be able to get more out of them than Daniel. I can imagine it must be especially difficult for Sha're considering what she's been through."
"She's been coping pretty well from what Daniel told me, although her experience has had its effect on their relationship. There's a good chance she doesn't want to remember," he cautioned her.
It didn't take a lot of effort to put herself in Sha're's shoes and after a moment of imagining, Sam shook her head. "No, she'll tell you what she can if it means ridding the galaxy of the Goa'uld. It might take some persuading, but it'd probably be even easier for her to confide in you rather than her husband."
Jack sat up and scrubbed a hand over his face before glancing back to her and nodding. "Yeah, maybe. She's been through a lot, though. What if the traumatic memories are too overwhelming for her? They're probably closer to the surface than Amaunet's genetic memories or whatever she learned as host."
"I guess that depends on how she's been dealing with all of it since returning to Abydos. Maybe she has better control of Amaunet's memories by now. If not, she's going to need to focus. Or learn how to. In that case, she'll need you to guide her."
"She might not be comfortable doing that with me," he hedged. "Not if she fears some more, uh, intimate memories come up."
Frowning, Sam followed his example and sat up, turning towards him. "She trusts you, right?"
He shrugged, "She used to, after we got rid of Ra. But then she was taken by Apophis, so…"
"You saved her from Amaunet and SG-1 returned her son to her," she countered.
"She might be more at ease with a woman."
She raised a brow at his attempt to look innocent and as if the idea had just come to him. "Jack…"
He had the grace to look embarrassed at her tone. "I know it's awkward and that you don't feel like meeting up with either of them but… she can relate to you. It would be easier to talk to someone – a woman – who has been through something similar and you can show her how to take control of Amaunet's knowledge."
"I don't know," she said, hesitating. "My presence might not be necessary. For all we know she'd much rather talk to you. I don't even know if she knows who I am and if she'd be comfortable with me at all considering I'm also a former host."
"We could try," he suggested kindly.
She felt conflicted about the whole thing and would much rather not go. There was no desire to meet up with other former hosts from her side, who was to say Sha're didn't feel the same? They hadn't spent a lot of time together as hosts. Amaunet had been with Apophis while she was with Klorel and later on, Amaunet was hidden away and Sam fled. "She could be upset with me for leaving her there. When I left the hatak I knew where she was and I chose to leave her there while I saved myself."
"And if you hadn't, you and Ife might not be here. Hell, Sha're and Skaara might still be hosts. You left and fixed Thor's Hammer – that gave us the opportunity to de-snake them both."
"I don't know…"
Jack reached out and squeezed her hand. "Just think about it. You don't have to decide right away. I'm gonna check on Ife and make you some breakfast."
She watched as he got out of bed, admiring his body before he slipped on sweatpants and left the room. Left alone, her thoughts returned to their conversation. Was she ready to go to Abydos to help Sha're and confront a part of her own past she thought she'd dealt with already? And what about Skaara? He was bound to be there as well and just the thought of seeing him again made her stomach churn.
O'Neill Residence
Colorado Springs, CO
January 28, 2000
Jack looked up from the puzzle he and Ife were making when the front door opened. He heard Sam's familiar footfall and smiled to himself as he waited for her to join them. She'd been on base all day, putting the finishing touches on the who's who of the System Lords puzzle in preparation of tomorrow's mission to Abydos. For a change, he'd been the one to stay home and take care of Ife all day.
"Hey there," Sam said, appearing at the top of the steps leading into the living room.
Ife glanced up at her with a beaming smile on her face, her hand with the other half of an elephant frozen mid-air. "Hi Momma!"
Smirking, he watched as Sam walked over to them. "I was kinda expecting a 'Honey, I'm home' sort of greeting," he teased.
"Hey sweetie," Sam said as she bent down and pressed a kiss to Ife's crown. Then, smirking, she reached out to ruffle Jack's hair, "Honey, I'm home."
"C'mere you," he murmured, pulling her in for a kiss with a hand on the back of her neck. The kiss was brief and warm, comforting and familiar, yet sparked a fire in his belly at the same time. He let out a soft sigh as they broke apart, gazing at her lovely features. It had only been a little over twelve hours since he woke up next to her but still he'd missed her. "Productive day?"
Groaning, she straightened to her full height and stretched her tall frame to work the kinks from her back, no doubt a result from spending her day flying a desk. Scrubbing a hand over her face, she suddenly looked exhausted. "Long."
He grabbed her hand and gently tugged on it, silently asking her to join him and their daughter in Ife's play corner of the living room. Their little girl was sitting between his legs with the wooden puzzle in front of her, so Sam sank down on the blanket next to him. He pulled her into his side as she folded up her legs and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Just relax for a little."
"Look Momma." Ife glanced over her shoulder at her and gestured at her puzzle. "Did it myself!"
"Ooh," Sam said obligingly, stretching a little to get a peek at the wooden toy. It was a board with cutouts for animal figurines in two or three big pieces that Ife had to put back together and place in the correct place. The poor elephant was still missing its rear, but the other five animals were whole and – with some help from Jack – in their correct spot. "What happened to the elephant, sweetie?"
Ife tilted her head a little, brow furrowed in confusion and Jack smiled at the resemblance to Sam's facial expression when she was working on a doohickey. Then, as if searching for it, Ife started looking around for the other half. Jack tapped the back of the hand that held the piece to remind her. Ife grinned triumphantly and showed it to Sam. "Look!"
"And where does it go?"
"Goes here," Ife replied confidently, pointing at the only free spot.
Jack smiled as he watched them fuss over the puzzle. He could tell they'd missed each other – although Sam Ife perhaps a little more than the other way around as their munchkin seemed to have gotten used to spending more time away from her – and knew exactly how Sam felt because it was the same for him when he'd been gone all day or even on overnight missions. He ruffled Ife's hair and squeezed her shoulder gently when she looked up at him with those big dark blue eyes of hers. "Why don't you tell Mommy about all the fun stuff we did today?" He pressed a kiss to her chubby little cheek and turned to Sam, "I'm gonna heat up dinner and start setting the table."
Sam's eyebrows rose in surprise. "You cooked? How… domestic."
"Yes, well, someone has to feed the munchkin and you've worked all day," he said as he rose.
"Thank you."
He winked at her and stretched his legs, wincing as his knee popped. "If you ladies need me, I'll be in the kitchen."
In the kitchen he overheard snippets of their conversation as he went about heating up the meal he'd cooked earlier. Before Sam and Ife had come to stay with him he hadn't realized how quiet his house had been. Even without knowing the truth about Ife's paternity he'd started enjoying their presence and now, after less than three months, he couldn't imagine life without them.
A second chance like his was rare and he was grateful for it. He never thought he'd get to be a dad again and now he had a little girl. Sam's laugh sounded from the living room and he was reminded of how lucky he was in that respect as well. A woman like her who loved him in spite of the dark stains on his soul.
He stepped away from the chili he was reheating and grabbed some bowls and utensils to set the table. The tops of Sam and Ife's – who was standing between Sam's legs with her arms wrapped around her neck – heads were just visible above the half wall behind the dinner table. His heart constricted at the sight of the two of them cuddling and he simply gazed at them. Jack knew from experience that they could be ripped away from him in a heartbeat and he wanted to memorize the picture they made.
The thought of losing them reinforced the idea he'd been playing with lately. Spending time with the two of them was something he looked forward to all day, especially after a rough mission. The talk he'd had with Daniel about prioritizing family had made Jack think about his own little family. Going on missions had lost its appeal because it meant spending too much time apart from Sam and Ife. The last couple of days had also reminded him of how precious time with his little girl was now that Sam had started working longer hours. So, maybe, Daniel wasn't the only one who wanted something other than SG-1…
Hammond wouldn't be thrilled but the General was experienced enough to know officers were reassigned all the time. Four years on one team was a long time already and they were currently already down one member.
"What's for dinner?" Sam appeared in the doorway, smiling. "I'm starving."
Placing the last spoon on the table Jack looked up at her. "Chili."
She eyed the table, "You two haven't eaten yet? You didn't have to wait for me."
"It's not that late yet. Ife snacked on some berries earlier so she wasn't hungry anyway."
"And you weren't hungry either?"
"Nah." He shrugged before indicating the living room, "If you get the munchkin, I'll get the food."
By the time Sam returned and put Ife in her booster chair, Jack had filled their bowls and set out two glasses of water. He went back into the kitchen to get the crackers both girls liked and a Guinness.
He took the seat opposite of Sam and popped open the beer, taking a swig. "So, how was your day, honey?"
She grinned as she took the beer he was holding out to her. "Better now," she said, after taking a sip.
"Long day?"
"In a manner of speaking. I spent the day dealing with more of the same but..."
"But what?"
"I started thinking."
Jack held his spoonful of chili midair and considered her carefully, "Thinking about what?"
"Going to Abydos."
"And what did you decide?"
"That maybe you were right. Talking to someone who's been through something similar might be easier for Sha're." She sighed and took another sip of beer before she tried to explain. "I meant it when I said I didn't know her well and have no idea if she'd be willing to talk to me, but mostly I hesitated because I want to leave all of that in the past. Well, that and…"
He knew what the rest of her hesitation was. Skaara. How could she not hesitate? But Jack had known him back when he was still the overexcited Abydonian boy and he'd also been there after the snake was killed. He'd seen the way all of it had affected Skaara, too. "He's a different guy, Sam."
"I know that," she said hotly, and then glanced over at Ife who was playing with her crackers, not paying any attention at all to her parents. "I know," she said more subdued. "And I've dealt with what happened. I have. But I never considered having to look at his face again. It isn't the easiest decision to make."
He could imagine. And he wouldn't trivialize her decision with platitudes. "Are you sure?"
"Not entirely," she said with a thin laugh. "But I've already talked to General Hammond about it, and he's okayed it."
"That was fast," Jack said, sitting back in his chair. But it didn't surprise him that Sam would move forward that quickly once making up her mind. She wasn't one to sit idly by once a decision had been made.
"I saw no reason to drag it out." She took a bite of her chili, rapidly cooling in front of her. "He didn't mention whether or not you'd go."
"I think because the decision would be ours, first and foremost."
"Ife," she said with a nod.
He took a few bites of his own – fortunately, the meal still tasted good – and glanced at their daughter. She was the most important person in their lives and hadn't he just decided that maybe it was time to retire from the field to spend more time with her?
Yet, all of his instincts were screaming at him to not let Sam go to Abydos without him. Not that there was any letting Sam do anything, but he wanted to be there for her. He knew her well enough to know she'd soldier on regardless of her feelings and that it wasn't like he'd be able – or needed – to hold her hand through the visit. Silent support was pretty much all he could give her, but he suspected that was all she'd need.
"Are you… okay, with me changing my mind?" She asked, sounding uncharacteristically unsure of herself.
"You know I am."
She looked relieved, a small smile playing on her lips. "I know we said one of us should be here if the other goes off-world for Ife's sake, but I'd like you to come with. You know Skaara and Sha're and can, I don't know, mediate if necessary."
They both knew Daniel could do that too, him being married to Sha're and all. Jack didn't say anything though and simply nodded, "Sure. Abydos is a friendly planet, anyway. Fraiser or the Dixons probably wouldn't mind watching Ife for us."
"We should call them after dinner, the General wants us to leave tomorrow morning."
"But after this, Sam, I think it's time for me to reassess going off-world regularly as part of a team."
Surprised, she dropped her spoon and frowned, searching for words. "You want to… leave the field? Why?"
He shrugged with a faked air of indifference. "I think it's time. My knees and back aren't what they used to be-"
"Jack."
"Okay, okay," he said, holding up his hands in supplication at her don't bullshit me tone. "I- God, I don't know, Sam. I'm just tired and soon I'll only have half a team and I don't feel like breaking in new people. Hell, for all I know T will leave as well once the System Lords are gone. I'm too old to traipse the galaxy and risk getting killed or, worse, snaked."
She tilted her head a little and reached for his hand on the table top. "This isn't about me, is it?"
Squeezing her fingers, he shook his head. "No. It's about me-"
"Or what happened with the Eurondans? Because you know I-"
"No," he said, interrupting her. Then he sighed. "I don't know, maybe. Not because of you, I know we're good," he hastened to add. "But the whole situation made me rethink things."
Her face was a picture of concern but he could see the confusion in her eyes as well. "What kind of things?"
Jack scrubbed his free hand over his face and groaned. God, he hated talking about this sort of stuff. He looked from Sam to their daughter and back again. "Maybe you're right. It's not just about me. It's about her as well, and you. Hell, it's about everything. I don't want to keep risking my neck out there when I've got the two of you here. That's pretty damn selfish, I know, but-"
"I think we're allowed to be a little bit selfish after everything we've been through."
"I set out to help Daniel get Sha're and Skaara back and kill the rest of Ra's cousins. The first part's done, the second part is in progress." He shrugged, although he lacked her conviction about permitting himself to put self before service. "It's time for someone else, someone younger and less jaded to take over."
Sam smiled and reached for the beer they'd been sharing. "Well, I don't know about the last bit. I mean, if it hadn't been for you the deal with the Eurondans would have gone through. Or at the very least we'd have Alar among us, with too much power and knowledge."
He knew she made a valid point and it was something he'd considered as well. "Yeah, about that…"
"You thought the same thing," she said, after taking a sip.
"It crossed my mind," Jack said. "I don't think I'm ready to retire yet. Not until I know for sure there won't be an even bigger enemy once the System Lords are taken care of-"
She quirked a brow, "The brass wouldn't let you retire anyway. You're too valuable for the Program because of your experiences, knowledge and the allies you've made."
Grimacing in acknowledgement, he took the Guinness from her and took a swig. "Flying a desk isn't really my style either. So, I was thinking maybe I can convince Hammond to let me set up a training program for SGC recruits. Right now, we're just picking up potentials here and there. There's no real structure or program for them to go through."
"And that way you can pass on your knowledge and experiences to prevent future SG teams from trusting the wrong people out of desire to get protection for Earth."
"Something like that, yeah."
She beamed at him and squeezed his hand. "I think that's a great idea, Jack."
It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he realized he hadn't thought of how much her approval meant to him. But she had his back, like she'd promised.