Author's Note: For any of my MT buffs...this is basically Wicked. Hanna is Glinda (because Hanna+Glinda would be heavenly), Spencer is Elphaba, Melissa is Nessarose...Toby is Fiyero. And he's already dead and bleeding. Sorry Spence. And sorry to all of you who have no idea what I'm talking about.

Day Eighty-Nine: Frost by Rachael Sage

I was extremely adept to being the outsider. I always was. I was the black sheep of the family, the weird girl in school, and generally unloved and unwanted.

In retrospect, I guess it's quite amazing that despite being scorned my whole life, I always tried to do the right thing. Now, it makes my blood and flesh burn and seethe with anger.

I always took care of my sister after our mother died. My sister Melissa had this health condition—spina bifida, I think it was called—and after my father was elected the mayor of our small town, I had to take care of her.

For most of my life, I didn't know why I was so scorned. When I was young and my mom was still alive, I'd run and cry to her about it. But after she died, I stopped. I think I stopped caring. I stopped crying. I stopped…feeling because it seemed like the illogical thing to do. One teacher I had in high school told me that logic comes at a price. That price was not what I was willing to pay.

I was smart, but never smart enough to please my father. I was never as smart or as beautiful as Melissa. But with Melissa being wheelchair bound by her paralysis, I usually had to follow her everywhere. Once I graduated from high school (the two of us were only two years apart), we had gone to college together. She had to take two years off from school and take the occasional community college course because she couldn't go anyplace outside our small town.

We went to a big town up in the North. I took my classes and took her to hers. Even though I found myself silently scorning the amount of love and attention my father gave Melissa (and only Melissa), I was eternally grateful; I knew my father would never send me to college if it weren't for Melissa.

At college, I had a popular, beautiful, preppy, and generally annoying blonde roommate. Everyone loved her and everyone hated me.

It was a peculiar school. There were people from all over there.

But I was the only one.

Obviously not the only one, but the only one with a special…gift. I thought it was a curse, but now I'm still trying to decide. I always tried to suppress or hide it. Like I said, logic had a price which I was not willing to pay. It makes me nearly as mad that I always tried to fight it, when I should've just let it be free. I could have plunged headfirst into my gift—or curse—but decided it would have been even crueler. For me. I didn't think I was really that masochistic to inflict more isolation and pain which I would ultimately ignore until it grew worse and worse still on myself. So yes, I had my share of secrets. And not that anyone cared, but I always acted happy. But, as I said before, nobody really cared. Not my father, not my roommate, and certainly not anyone else at that wretched school.

And one day…something odd happened. A new boy came to school. Everyone swooned and fawned over him. Not that I ever cared much for love or dating, but I could never quite figure out why everyone made such a big deal over him.

Maybe it was because I knew that I would fail you the moment I looked into your eyes.

Anyway, my roommate—Hanna was her name—fawned over and lusted after him the most. The way she and her so-called "friends" would obsess over him was a bit ridiculous and maybe even disturbing to me, but I supposed that girls would be dumb, silly girls.

He went to the dance with Hanna. I didn't go to the dance. I used to dance when I was little. But I didn't like being around everyone else. I didn't want to have them make fun of me for the night, too. I think some boy brought Melissa to the dance. I hope she had fun.

I stayed in my room, reading some great classic. Later that night, probably around midnight, Hanna came back to the room, squealing and chatting on and on about his new boy. And then something odd overcame her.

"Hey…have you ever wondered what it's like?"

I waited for more. This was a very vague, very broad question that was easily open to misinterpretation.

"You know…to be…popular?" she asked.

I was just speechless. I didn't answer. She squealed in response. "I knew it! I knew it! You're one of those girls who pretends to be okay with not being well liked, but you've always wondered about it. Worry not, because I'm gonna make you popular," she said.

As she fixed my hair and showed me what shoes to wear, she commented. "You know…there was a time I wasn't popular. I know what you feel like. I used to be ugly. But then I said no mas. I know how horrible the frost can feel…" she trailed off. "You know…that place where you're iced out from everybody and it's so cold and lonely. I know how that feels."

Over the next few weeks, I was not scorned or teased. Occasionally, people would be nice to me, but I was nowhere near as popular as Hanna.

He was in one of my classes, so I saw him habitually on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10 AM. One particular day, we were given a free period because the teacher was nowhere to be found. It made me so mad that the girls just resorted to doing their nails and gossiping and the boys not much better.

"Spencer?"

I couldn't believe he even knew my name.

"We should go."

I wondered if he felt the same as I did. This was ridiculous. People were here, wasting away their time—sweet, precious time which could never be gotten back—because there was no point to them. To them, history was over. It was over and done with. But history was still being made.

So I looked over at you. You had such conviction and determination in your eyes, like you were just itching to get me to do to something with you. You had no doubt or fear or hesitation. Not like I did. There was a war and fear in my conscience, though my mind already knew what Fate wanted me to do. I didn't know this could've been the day that everything in my whole entire world would change. A little bit of me wishes that I had never said yes and I just stayed and played the role of fool like everyone else in the class. It would've made my life easier.

But now I know that joy doesn't come easy. And I never would've been happy if not for you; my fate and destiny, in several ways, was in your hands.

And now…I don't know where I stand. I am still haunted to this day on how I let all of the land believe…I had no weakness or remorse or regret. I wished I had never let you believe that. It's not true. Unconsciously and unknowingly, I had allowed my soul to be taken, and just as easily as though I had been lured by the Pied Piper of Hamelin.

But I know there's no use in trying to find a scapegoat or a fall-guy. I was entirely to blame for my own vices and greed and insecurities.

Now all anyone can ever talk about is the Wicked Witch of the West. I can never escape that title—wicked. I was wicked.

But the only thing I ever felt I was guilty of ever doing was crossing a tempting line never meant to be crossed but only by the kindest and nicest of strangers—angels in disguise. Only the truly unwicked and untainted can ever get away with anything, and they're the ones to get away with everything.

I am lost now. Sometimes I think to search for you. But I know you'll want nothing to do with me. I'm just wicked.

Still, I cherish time I got to know you, and everyone, really. Sometimes, I wish I had done more. Of what, I'll never know or decide on, but I wish I did more than just…be.

At least, I suppose now, people will know of me. I'll die a legend. Notorious, sure, but it's better than never really existing at all. You only exist when someone utters your name on their lips after your death. That is when you know you've truly lived; that's when you've caused a commotion that people know of you. It hardly matters that they don't know you.

In truth…you were the only one whose opinion I ever really cared about. Do you think I've been silly, like a little girl? Do you think this is part of growing up and what I had to learn? Do you think it's normal to feel this scornful of yourself? Am I really just…wicked?

I'm prepared now to meet my maker and I have no fears on that. You're my only fear, my only reservation.

Even though I had been isolated when I was young, I never truly felt that bitter cold Hanna told me about that day. I knew it was best to overanalyze everything as not to make a mistake around your peers. I learned that you have to pay for mistakes.

But I never felt the frost until now. If this is what it takes for forgiveness and acceptance by you…I'll endure whatever winter and whatever blizzard comes my way.

I think Sarah is gonna flip when she sees it.

LittleBittyAbby:Omg, SAME. Honestly, I don't even really want to drive. Like, I'll get my license, whatever, but I don't really want to drive. Nor do I need to. I mean, I don't know how busy it is where you live, but I live in NYC. if you can't walk there, you can take a bus or a subway or some other means of public transport. Not a big deal.

Sarah:IDK who either of them are. I know who 1D is and I don't like them. IDK, I'm just not mainstream. I like Britpop way more (and actual Britpop, with the new-wave sounds and everything) than the Americanized Bubblegum crap. Ha, my album comes out before yours :P JK, I'm happy for Ed :)

AL3110:I love the creepy, twisted ones. They're the best. They're my favourite to write. And, AL...#92 is by The Goddess...it's EVOL. I know you're excited. And please, I know. Most of the time, my writing is TOTAL crap. Believe me, I know. And you'd BETTER tell me how it went and take a selfie and be like, "#LDR #KaysonIKnowYou'reJelly #YouCan'tHandleThisJelly #You'reSuperJelly #HaHaHaHa".

tobyequalshottness: Glad you liked it! And...I can't even remember what the last one was. I'm sorry. it feels like months since I last posted. I am so shamed.

Of course 1D is smoking pot *eye roll*

Like, really, do you think that I'm crazy or just kind of psychic? I never like any of those guys who end up being cheaters and pot smokers and just douches in general. I never liked Justin Bieber, I never liked 1D...like, come on. Can we just deport all these foreigners who do dumb things? Not normal Canananadians. I like them (Sarah...) but the ones that do dumb things, like Bieber and 1D. Then again, I'm pretty sure half of their own country doesn't like them anymore...I mean, even Buckley says that Bieber isn't considered "Canadian" anymore (you should really watch his rants on YouTube. They're great).

And...question! Have any of you guys watched "Faking It"? Because I watched (because of Klara, AKA hashtagpll if any of you guys are on Tumblr and track PLL) and now my life is ruined. I can't. I just...too much. Too much. I cannot handle Amy. She's too cute. And Karma. And Shane. And OMG his name is Shane. Like, really? Tiffany's husband's name is Shane (sorry, those of you who don't read SSS). I know Tiffany's Shane isn't gay, but if he were...he would be just like Shane. This makes no sense. I'm sorry. I'm delirious. I can't handle it. It's just...school. But on the upside...only two days left for me, then finals and I AM FREE. But really, those of you who can, I am DEMANDING that you watch Faking It because it is freaking fantastic.

And the next one is In My Veins by Andrew Belle (FEATURING Erin McCarley, AL...) so I know AL is fangirling right now (but really, don't you dare forget her, AL). And I hope you enjoyed it, Sarah. Hope you enjoyed it, everyone. I put my guts into this.

By the way, in case anyone was curious, this will (I have determined it, now) be 230 one-shots. officially. No suggestions. But I did put one in (for the person who suggested Small Hands by Keaton Henson, it's in there and I love it, thank you SOOOOOO much). -Kayson