Abydos
Milky Way Galaxy
January 28, 2000
The sun was high in the sky when they arrived on Abydos, the temperature a stark contrast with the winter they'd left behind in Colorado Springs. The abrupt change of surroundings was still a strange yet familiar and welcome sensation. Sam quirked a smile and felt some of the nerves about the mission dissipate.
Jack caught her eye, looked at his team and then back to her. He'd put on his sunglasses just before they exited the pyramid that housed the stargate so she couldn't see his expression. "Everyone ready to move out?"
"You do know this is more of a social visit than a mission, right Jack?" Daniel asked, rolling his eyes.
This time Sam didn't need to see his eyes when Jack glanced at her. For Daniel, maybe. She only came here to get the information they needed to defeat the System Lords. She didn't say anything though and instead retrieved the pair of Bugaboos Jack had lend her – his backup pair – to shield her eyes from the blinding sun. Reaching up, she adjusted her cap for optimal protection and inwardly wondered why someone hadn't scheduled the mission for early morning or evening Abydos time rather than what appeared to be Earth's equivalent of noon. Perspiration was already starting to pebble on her back from the heat and warmth of the heavy pack she was carrying. "I'm ready."
"As am I," Teal'c said, looking as cool and collected as always.
Daniel was wearing a bandana and slipped on his sunglasses, but he didn't look at all perturbed at the warm temperatures. Sam had to remind herself he'd lived on the planet for over a year before returning to Earth. It was like a second home to him. He was talking to the native Abydonian who'd welcomed them at the stargate, but they were too far away for her to hear what they were saying. It appeared neither of them had heard Jack, either.
Her gaze went back to Jack, looking every inch the commander. She took a moment to admire the way his desert camos emphasized his tan and how his long fingers held his weapon. Even on an unofficial mission like theirs he looked ready to strike at the first sign of danger. He had a presence, something innate, and she wondered if he'd miss being out in the field.
Jack sighed and she could tell he was annoyed by the way his brows knitted together as he looked at Daniel. "Daniel, Tobay? I'd like to get moving before we die of heatstroke."
"Oh, right," Daniel said, moving towards them. "Um, Tobay was just catching me up. We should go see Kasuf in Nagada first, to announce our presence. He's not expecting all of us."
"Teal'c, you take point."
Sam watched as the team fell into place, Teal'c taking the lead, Daniel with Tobay in the middle and Jack fell into step with her at the rear. They started off in silence but soon Daniel and Tobay picked up their conversation again. She wasn't paying much attention to them although the Abydonian dialect was close enough to Goa'uld that she understood the snippets she overheard. Her nerves had made a comeback and the closer they got, the more intense they became. Rather than focus on the irrational feelings, she kept her attention to their surroundings and slogging through the desert sand.
"I hate sandy planets," Jack muttered, bumping her shoulder as they walked down a dune.
"Me too," she confessed, quirking a smile. "The sand gets everywhere."
He made a face, nodding. "We'll still be finding the stuff all over the house by the time Ife starts kindergarten."
She chuckled at his joke and the smug grin she got in response made her stomach flutter in a good way. They lingered a little and it made her wish he wasn't wearing sunglasses, because all she could see was her own reflection. But her inattentiveness nearly made her stumble in the sand. She caught herself and managed to stay on her feet, reminding them both to focus on their surroundings. She sent him a reassuring smile before casting a look around them.
They weren't expecting any hostiles but as long as the System Lords were still alive and kicking they couldn't take any chances, hence the weaponry on a social call. Not that one could tell looking at Daniel, who was so caught up in his conversation with the Abydonian that he wouldn't notice it if a Goa'uld ringed down in front of them.
By the time a large stone wall became visible they'd walked several klicks and Sam's calves were aching from the trek across unfamiliar terrain. Jack's mouth had turned into a grim line, although she couldn't say whether it was from the trek or the sand in unwanted places. Daniel and Tobay had fallen quiet about twenty minutes ago and Teal'c was still carrying on stoically up front.
"You'd think they'd choose a place a little closer to the damn gate as their capital," Jack muttered as he wiped across his forehead.
"To be fair, I doubt it's far away by ship or even on horseback or some crude form of transport."
He frowned at her, as if to say she wasn't helping. "I hope Sha're is there as well."
Sam wasn't sure where else the woman could be, considering she'd only seen Ra's temple from which they came and another pyramid relatively close to it. Well, it was possible Sha're was in that pyramid, she supposed. "Let's just hope Kasuf is still here."
"Oh, um, as the leader of the Abydonians Kasuf is settled in Nagada," Daniel said, waving towards stone wall ahead of them. "He's not supposed to leave so that his people may always find him."
"Convenient." Jack muttered it under his breath but audible to Sam.
Daniel started talking about Kasuf, his position among his people, his achievements, his gratitude towards SG-1 and whatnot.
It all went in one ear and out the other for Sam.
Her mind turned inwards, only dimly aware of the conversation between the men. Soon, they'd be inside the walled city and she was expected to help Sha're access essential intel to bring down the System Lords. Chances were that Sha're's brother was there as well. How was Sam supposed to keep her cool and play nice with Skaara, the face worn by Klorel during the long month she'd been at his side as Herit?
Maybe, she thought, he wouldn't even be there. Or perhaps he'd make sure to avoid her once he heard of her arrival. She and Jack hadn't talked a lot about Skaara, most of their conversations about that time in her life had been centered on Klorel. But she knew from what little they'd discussed that Skaara was ashamed of what he'd been forced to do by the Goa'uld. She supposed it was possible the Abydonian would go out of his way not to see her.
"Hey."
Jack's voice and a nudge to her shoulder brought her back to the present. They'd reached the capital. The stone wall was rather impressive when she looked up and immediately information about the city, its structures and purpose flooded her mind from Herit's genetic memories. Sometimes, the Goa'uld's knowledge would come to her during an unguarded moment. Hell, if she was honest with herself it usually only happened when she was barely holding it – herself – together. It was as if there was still a part of Herit somewhere in her subconscious that would strike the moment she let her self-control slip. Realistically, she knew the Goa'uld was dead, but it was still unnerving whenever it happened.
"Sam?"
Mentally shaking herself, Sam tried to ignore the accompanying headache. Jack looked at her with concern, so she briefly touched his arm. "Sorry, I must have zoned out a little."
He gestured for the team to enter when the wooden gate opened but held back, turning more fully towards her. "Are you okay, Sam?"
"Yeah," she said, nodding. Her palms were sweating though, and not from the heat. "Just not looking forward to seeing him again."
"I know." Jack removed his sunglasses and his fingers twitched, as if he wanted to touch her. "You don't have to go through with this. You know that, right?"
She huffed out a laugh. "I didn't come all this way to turn back around and leave again."
He studied the sand beneath their feet for a moment, before catching her eye. "This was my idea and if you're not up for it…"
"I am," she said, "I can do it."
"This isn't about proving yourself, Sam."
In a way, it felt like it was. Not to others, but to herself. "It's about getting the necessary information." She took a deep breath and pasted a smile on her face. "Let's go."
He looked like he had more to say, but he acquiesced and fell into step with her. "Alright, let's get this over with."
The inside of the city was nothing like the memories Herit had imprinted on her. Centuries might have passed since that image or perhaps it was down to the rebellion against Ra. Either way, the wall still stood and kept the tented city safe from sandstorms.
The other half of SG-1 stood out like a sore thumb among the Abydonians and they quickly rejoined them. Daniel appeared impatient and Sam couldn't blame him. He'd been looking forward to visiting his wife and stepson according to Jack. He informed them that Tobay had gone looking for Kasuf and that he'd be right back. Teal'c was looking at them intently, reminding her of Bra'tac.
"We're good, T," Jack said softly.
She couldn't help but smile when the Jaffa then sent her an inquiring look. Before she could even say anything, he inclined his head in understanding.
It didn't take Tobay long to find his way back to them. He explained he'd found Kasuf and would take them there in broken English. This time, Tobay and Daniel took point, both completely at ease in the city and Abydonian culture. They led them through a market of sorts and into a relatively open space where some sort of meeting was taking place between about a half dozen men.
Under normal circumstances Sam might have appreciated the atmosphere and reminisced about her time spent among similar cultures. Not today, though. She kept furtively glancing around, looking for the Abydonian whose face still haunted her dreams as more people gathered around. She figured they were unusual enough to draw a crowd. The men they were brought before were all older, though. Probably the ones running the society together with this Kasuf now that Ra was gone.
"Chel hol, Good Father," Daniel said, walking up to the older man seated in the middle.
The man got to his feet gracefully and smiled. "You have returned to us once more, Good Son. And you have brought your friends, our allies. Colonel O'Neill, Teal'c, it is good to see you."
"Kasuf of Abydos," Teal'c said with a small bow.
"Good to see you, too, Kasuf." Jack tipped his cap in greeting and beckoned Sam over. "I would like to introduce you to, um, a friend of ours. Major Carter."
Daniel quickly jumped in, "She's the one who made it possible to defeat the demons inside of Sha're and Skaara."
Kasuf's eyes widened almost comically as he took her in. Taking a step closer, he bowed his head to her. "Tal mal tiak. Mal we'ia. I am honored, Major Carter."
Sam had taken off her sunglasses and hat, and smiled politely while searching her mind for an appropriate response. "Mai'aka maki, Kasuf."
"You speak the language of the Gods," he said, smiling as if impressed. "I should not be surprised given your accomplishments in fighting the demons who took two of our own."
She exchanged an uncertain glance with Jack before turning back to the Abydonian leader, "Um, I'm glad I could help."
"Help!" He parroted. "You have returned Sha're and Skaara to us! We must celebrate!"
The leader started conferring with the other handful of men he'd been talking to before they arrived, gesturing wildly. After a few minutes they seemed to have reached a decision but Daniel interrupted at Jack's non-verbal negative and told them it wasn't necessary. "But we must, Good Son. You and your friends saved three of our people. This is the first time you are all here since you brought back Shifu and now Major Carter joins us as well! We must honor you and the Gods."
"Look, Kasuf, we really appreciate it," Jack started, "but Daniel came here to spend time with his family and we'd like to talk to Sha're and Skaara about their, er, demons, to help us fight the rest of them."
"Yes, and you will, but we will also celebrate! You must eat and so we celebrate," Kasuf said, smiling widely. Then, he turned to the crowd they'd drawn and called out commands in his native language to start the preparations.
Daniel asked him after the whereabouts of Sha're and Shifu, before looking to Jack. "Do you mind if I go ahead and-"
Jack made a dismissive wave with his hand before he'd even finished his request, "Go. We'll come find you in a few."
"Ahh, and here is my son," Kasuf announced proudly as the crowd started dispersing.
Sam had been watching Daniel go, disappearing among the crowd, when she heard Kasuf's announcement. From the corner of her eye, she saw Teal'c give his customary bow in greeting and Jack was looking at her strangely, but she barely took notice and pasted a smile on her face as she turned around to meet the Abydonian leader's son.
She recognized Klorel's host instantly though there was no gold or ornate jewelry, his clothing was different and his hair less coiffed. Cold sweat broke out on her skin and bile rose in her throat. She must have made a sound or perhaps he'd sensed her naquadah, because he broke off in the middle of his greeting to Teal'c and Jack and zeroed in on her with those dark eyes of his.
Skaara recoiled, eyes wide as he took her in. "You…"
"My son," Kasuf said, slinging an arm around his shoulders and looking from him to Sam. "The Tau'ri have brought Major Carter to speak to your sister. You have met, yes? She is the one who helped rid you of your demons. We must discuss preparations for a celebratory feast to honor our Tau'ri friends. Sit, come sit everyone."
Sam took the opportunity to turn away from them, frantically trying to control her breathing as she wiped her clammy hands on her jacket. When she looked up, Jack was standing in front of her, concern practically radiating off him. But he didn't grab or touch her, he simply stood there, waiting for a sign from her. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath to steel herself and gave him a shaky smile. "I'm okay."
"Yeah," he said softly, walking past her to join the Abydonians, "you are."
She swallowed down her disgust before following him and taking the seat indicated between him and Teal'c. The sand was warm as she settled down cross-legged. Kasuf and Jack were discussing something, but she was having a hard time following the conversation. It took all of her self-control to simply stay put. Teal'c and Jack's presence were of little comfort when she felt Skaara's gaze on her. Being this close to him made her skin crawl and her breakfast was threatening to come up again.
Kasuf and Skaara were seated in the middle of the half circle the Abydonians formed, across from her. Looking at them, she was suddenly transported back nearly two and a half years ago, dragged into the throne room of a ha'tak. Half starved, drenched, freezing and in pain. An unexpected strike had brought her to her knees, pain searing through her body on impact. Water dripped from her hair as she was forced to kneel in front of a different father with the same son, yet not.
She jerked back to reality when Jack's fingers oh so accidentally brushed against her knee as he shifted to get more comfortable, muttering something to the Abydonians about getting old and having a sore knee. The brief touch grounded her and she felt like she could breathe again.
A shiver ran through her despite the Abydos heat.
Teal'c and Jack both gave the impression they were completely engaged in the conversation with Kasuf but the way they caught her eye when she glanced their way told her they'd noticed her zoning out. Jack's brown eyes were soft and conveyed his support, Teal'c's understanding and strength soothed her frayed nerves.
Sam felt a calm settle over her.
Slowly, she unclenched her hands – her nails had drawn a little blood from her palms – and took a deep breath before focusing on their host and his son. She was going to face this head on.
Jack was trying to explain their plan to Kasuf, although it didn't sound like the Abydonian leader needed a lot of convincing to give them access to his children. Kasuf was simply grateful to SG-1 for bringing them back to him and although he didn't really understand the concept of parasites and hosts, he seemed more than willing to help take down the System Lords in any way he could.
Sam let her gaze drift to his right, forcing herself to remain relaxed while she took a closer look at Skaara. He was smaller, less imposing than she remembered. He looked younger too… her stomach churned at the memory of how he'd stood before her during the Rite of Un Ḥer Ȧm Setcherit. He'd seemed young then too, his physique. But it was different now. The boyishness was completely gone but there was something vulnerable about him…
Suddenly, their eyes met as he looked straight at her. Her breathing hitched and her muscles tensed in anticipation, but nothing happened. He just held her gaze, as if searching for something. That was when she realized that he wasn't dealing well with her presence either. Sure, he'd recoiled in shock at seeing her, but she hadn't given it much thought beyond that. Now, though, she could see all the signs of his own discomfort. He could barely hold her gaze, nervously jumping from her to Jack and back. And for the first time since she'd met him there was guilt in those dark eyes of his – a lot of it – rather than the calculating coldness she'd expected to see.
For some strange reason she felt the urge to say something to him. She had no idea what she could possibly say to make things less awkward and uncomfortable though.
Fortunately, she was saved from doing anything at all by the appearance of Daniel.
"Where is my daughter, Good Son?" Kasuf tried to look beyond him, a concerned look on his face.
"She is bringing Shifu to the nursemaid," Daniel replied. "She will be here shortly, Good Father."
The Abydonian leader nodded in acknowledgement, seemingly pleased his daughter had chosen to cooperate with their request. "You may take her and Major Carter to the ȧahar, while Colonel O'Neill speaks to my son."
Sam glanced around until her eyes landed on a relatively large tent she hadn't noticed before. It stood out a little from the others because of its size and the use of animal hair to protect it from the elements. The majority of the other tents appeared to be made of some kind of fabric rather than the hide of an animal. The few tents made of the same material probably belonged to Kasuf and other important Abydonians.
"Teal'c?"
"I will remain here to discuss the possibility of an alliance between the people of Abydos and the Rebel Jaffa, O'Neill," the Jaffa said.
Jack nodded and eyed her briefly, seemingly satisfied with her current state of mind. "Well, I think that's it for now then. Skaara, why don't you show me your digs? The rest of us will meet up here afterwards for, uh, the feast."
She watched them go with a tight smile, feeling simultaneously relieved with Skaara gone and a little apprehensive without Jack. Fortunately, Daniel seemed to understand and reached out his hand to her after getting up. "What about Sha're?"
"Will you tell her we'll be waiting for her in the ȧahar, Good Father?"
Sam took Daniel's hand and let him help her up, before hoisting her heavy pack up. At Kasuf's okay they headed towards the hairy tent. It was perhaps a hundred meters away and on the way over she noticed there were fewer people bustling about. "Do they have siestas here?"
Daniel flashed her a grin as he shook his head. "No, they're used to the heat. They're all preparing for the feast tonight, helping out in whichever way they can."
"What kind of animal do they use to make these?" She asked as they arrived at the tent.
"Mastadges," Daniel said, gesturing to the other side of the village. "They're the local livestock, but the Abydonians treat them much better than we do on Earth. Only the most prestigious are used in this manner after death."
She went inside when he held the tent flap open for her. It was a bit musty but otherwise fine. There were pillows on the floor and a tray with cups near them on one side and on the other side was curtained off, probably leading to whatever passed as beds on Abydos. "Whose tent is this?"
He gestured for her to take a seat and started lighting some of the candles and lanterns. "No one's. Whenever they set up camp, they set up this tent for honored guests. Today that's us, I guess."
"Oh."
"I'm sure Sha're will be here soon," he said, glancing back at the tent's opening. He took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes a little before leveling her with a concerned blue gaze. "Are you doing okay with all of this? I know it was a lot to ask-"
"Jack suggested it a couple of days ago and after thinking it over I realized he was right. It's not my favorite way to spend the weekend but if it'll help us get rid of the Goa'uld…"
He chuckled softly, "That's basically what Sha're said, too."
Sighing, she raised one shoulder in half shrug. "I figured she'd feel the same way."
"Sha're is not like you, Sam," he said after a moment, brows knitted together.
"Maybe you're not giving her enough credit." She could tell he was worried about his wife, but found it hard to believe he failed to recognize her strength. To come through what Sha're went through relatively sane was a testament to her character. Sam might not have felt any special connection to Sha're because of their shared experiences but she admired the hell out of her. Just the idea of having her child be taken from her after escaping Apophis' clutches and then to be handed over to another System Lord… "She's a lot stronger than she looks, or she wouldn't have made it."
Daniel quickly sat down across from her and made a placating gesture with his hand. "Oh no, I didn't mean it like that. She's very strong and spirited, part of why I fell for her." He smiled a little, then shook his head sadly, "It's her state of mind that's delicate."
"Daniel…"
"I know your experiences aren't exactly the same but I've seen how you handle yourself these past three months. The way you've dealt with what was done to you… It's-it's impressive and I wish I knew how I could help Sha're do the same." He'd rushed the words and took a moment to breathe, visibly collecting himself as he spoke about his wife. "The balance she's achieved is precarious at best, Sam."
She knew what it was like – the memories, the nightmares, the Goa'uld knowledge, the changed body chemistry, the conflicted feelings – because she'd been there, two years ago. It had been difficult to overcome but she had Bra'tac looking out for her and helping her devise coping mechanisms. She reached out and squeezed his arm, "I felt that way, at least a little bit, a long time ago. But there are ways to overcome it, Daniel. Sha're has already come a long way and I don't doubt that she'll pull through this. It's going to take time, effort, focus and a lot of patience – from both of you."
The concern left his face and in its place was that typical Daniel look, part curious and intrigued yet cautious as well. "Do you think you can help her? I mean, I know that's not why you're here, but…"
"I can try," she said, biting her lip. She wasn't sure she was the right person for the job but she couldn't very well do nothing, especially not when he came right out and asked for her help. Of course, it would be up to Sha're to accept anything Sam would give her. "And I promise I'll do my best to make this as easy as possible on her, but I can tell you right now that things are going to get rough if we access the Goa'uld memories we need."
"I know you will and I trust you. You're the closest thing we've got to an expert on this." He sighed and looked off into the distance, thinking. When he turned back there was a pleading look in his eyes, "Just try to remember that Sha're… she's from a different time and place. You've seen the way they live here, this was all she knew before she was taken. If anything, the trauma has made her more closed off, so just keep in mind that she might not speak as frankly as you're used to, okay?"
"I haven't always shown it, but I am sympathetic to her, Daniel. Trust me, if we didn't need Amaunet's knowledge I wouldn't be here to put Sha're through the ringer. But the things she and Skaara know could help us destroy the Goa'uld. That's too big to pass up."
He smiled wryly, "Yeah, I know."
Daniel had barely finished or Sha're entered the tent, looking wary. "Know what, husband?"
"Oh, um," he got to his feet and walked over to her. "I know that Major Carter here will take good care of you. I'll be right outside if you need me. You can trust her, Sha're."
Sam watched as he pressed a kiss to his wife's cheek and left while Sha're simply stood there, looking at her. "Why don't you take a seat, Sha're?"
The alien woman moved slowly but sat down in a graceful move, rearranging her dress around her feet as she folded up her legs. Like Skaara, Sha're looked very different in her Abydonian garb compared to when she'd been a host. No high quality fabric, form-fitting or somewhat revealing outfit and the lack of shiny jewelry was almost glaring. Her hair looked uncombed, a little wild, and she wore no heavy eyeliner or other makeup. Sam hadn't paid Sha're – or Amaunet – much attention but now that they were sitting across from each other she could see the family resemblance with Skaara – they had the same eyes, two dark pits.
"Thank you for coming," she said, smiling politely. "I know this isn't easy for you but it's important that we learn as much-"
"Daniel told me."
Sam was surprised by her strong accent, but it served as another reminder that Sha're and Amaunet weren't the same person. "Do you also know why I'm here?"
Sha're nodded slowly, a stubborn set to her chin. "A demon took you as well. It is not hard to see why, you are very beautiful."
"Oh, um, thanks." Sam grimaced at the compliment and the way Sha're was admiring her features, but kept Daniel's reminder about her different upbringing in mind. Beauty seemed to be one of the few things that set a woman apart on Abydos, which made her remark understandable. It also brought to mind Klorel's – or Skaara's – fascination with her own appearance, but she shook off the memory and focused on the woman in front of her. "You know why I've been sent here – why it's important that we discuss what information you might have retained from Amaunet?"
"Yes."
"I know this will be difficult," she said as Sha're visibly steeled herself. "And I can show you some techniques to help you focus on the necessary memories, rather than… the other ones."
Sha're's dark gaze locked onto hers and she looked a little relieved. "Daniel said you are very wise and kind."
She laid her wrist on her right knee, palm facing upwards, and looked from Sha're to her hand and back again. Sha're reached for her hesitantly and Sam gave her an encouraging smile and squeezed the woman's hand. "Where would you like to begin?"