After an extremely uncomfortable lunch that consisted of Gilbert rambling while Feliciano and Ludwig frequently looked up from their plates to glance at each other, Feliciano was at the door about to leave. They spoke in hushed tones so Gilbert wouldn't hear their conversation.

"I don't want to go, Ludwig. Whenever you're not with me my stomach hurts." Feliciano whispered. He fiddled with his hands to have something to focus on.

Ludwig looked at him with a hint of sympathy in his eyes. "I know, I know. I don't want you to leave either. But Feliciano, are you sure it's good for your health to feel so distraught without me?"

"But I can't help it!"

"I'm not scolding you. In fact, I'm just as guilty." He said. "But don't you think it would be beneficial to have some time alone after all of this?"

Feliciano stared at the floor. He was right, he supposed. Even though the loneliness ate at him, threatened to consume him, he needed to be able to function on his own. It was never a skill he excelled it, and that had been true long before Ludwig. He had always been more than reliant on Lovino and Roma. The isolation was crushing, so the slightest chance of companionship made him want to hold on and never let go. The hamartia had appeared after the departure of his childhood friend and never seemed to leave Feliciano alone.

Casting this aside, Feliciano looked up at Ludwig, wanting nothing more than to finish what he started. Feliciano stood on the balls of his feet and closed his eyes, waiting for him to respond. He opened his eyes went he felt Ludwig's finger pressed against his lips. "Later, Feliciano." He said.

Feliciano was almost hurt. "But-"

"My brother is here."

Feliciano laughed. He had completely forgotten about that. It felt so good to finally laugh. The tension had been pressing down on him like a foot to the back of the head. Speak of the devil; Gilbert calling from the kitchen interrupted them. "Ludwig! Help me clean all this crap up!"

Ludwig rolled his eyes. "Can I not have five minutes to say goodbye to my friend?"

Friend. That word was hitting Feliciano's ear wrong after all that had just happened. "Am I still just a friend to you?" He asked.

"I think you know that this is something more than that, I'm just not sure what yet." Ludwig fixed his hair again. "And I think we should hold off on telling him." He said; flicking his head forwards the kitchen.

Feliciano smiled and nodded. That made sense. Even though he was feeling better, something was still eating away at him. Maybe it was ridiculous, but the possibly still existed. That alone was enough to terrify him. "Ludwig, I'm afraid."

He seemed confused. "Of what?"

"I'm afraid that once I leave" he said, "you're going to figure out that this was all a big mistake you made in the heat of the moment or something, like when someone tells you to do something and you say you will even though you don't want to because you panic." He struggled to keep his voice quiet. He wasn't making sense, but then again, none of today made much sense at all.

After the bizarre analogy seemed to click, Ludwig shook his head with vigor. "Don't say such silly things. You know that isn't true."

Deep down, Feliciano did know that wasn't true. Ludwig was a man of his word; he certainly didn't strike him as wishy-washy. But he was still so, so afraid. What he had longed for this whole time was so close he could almost taste it, but he feared it would slip through his fingers. He wasn't alone anymore, but how long would that last?

"Take some time for yourself." Ludwig said. "Tomorrow, try to recover from all of this. Sleep late. Call your brother. Paint something. Don't even think about me."

Feliciano looked at him vacantly. Telling him to not think about Ludwig, especially after the conversation they had just had, was akin to putting a steak in front of a starving man and telling him to not be hungry or even think about the food. "How am I supposed to do that?"

"Just try. For you own sake."

Why was he doing this to him? Didn't he want to talk about all of this? Then, Feliciano realized something: All of that must have been an awful lot for Ludwig to do. To open up about his past and on top of that to confess his feelings, it must be something that he had never done. In fact, he had never even heard him speak so much at once before. Finally beginning to understand, he nodded.

"Very good. Now let's get you home." He glanced back at Feliciano, then back at the door, and finally at Feliciano again. In one swift, awkward and amazing movement, he leaned down and quickly kissed the top of his head. At that point, both of them were bright red.

"I'm going to take Feliciano home." He called towards the kitchen.

Gilbert groaned. "Ludwig, there's food, like, everywhere!"

He shook his head, ignoring him. Leaving his house, Feliciano felt like years had passed since he'd last been outside. The sun seemed to shine brighter and the wind seemed to feel better on his skin. Nothing could hurt him now.

The care ride home passed in the blink of an eye. Reluctant to move, Feliciano stared out the window for a few moments. His concentration was broken when he felt Ludwig's hand on his shoulder.

"Wait just a moment." He said. Ludwig hesitated, and finally he reached behind his neck and brought something forward. He was holding onto an iron cross on a silver chain. He must have kept it tucked under his shirt, because Feliciano he never noticed it.

"Here" Ludwig leaned towards the passenger seat and fastened the clasp again behind Feliciano's neck.

It took him a second to realize what was going on. "You're giving me your necklace?" He asked, rubbing the pendant between his fingers.

Ludwig nodded. "Something to remind you of me."

The irony. Just minutes ago Feliciano was being told not to think about him, now he was being given something to remind him of Ludwig. As if it were possible to forget him. Still, the simple gesture caused his heart to flutter. "I don't think I would ever need help to think about you." He said, smiling down at the cross. He felt the need to give something to him, something he wouldn't be able to forget.

Then, he knew exactly what to do. He leaned forward and kissed Ludwig on the cheek. "And that's to remind you of me."

The tips of Ludwig's ears burned. "Well, that was certainly memorable." He muttered.

When they hugged it was different, somehow. There was a world of meaning behind the simply gesture. To Feliciano it felt warmer, closer, and filled him with more intoxicating happiness than before. He never wanted to let go. But they eventually did let go, and Feliciano climbed out of the car and walked to his house. He waved goodbye reluctantly, and Ludwig did the same.

When Feliciano entered his house, the first thing he did was run up the steps and crawl into his bed. Before he could do anything else, he took a series of much needed deep breaths and concentrated on nothing else. What a day he'd had. He held the pendant in his hand and pressed it against his chest as if it the action in itself would bring him closer to Ludwig. He finally tucked in under his shirt like Ludwig had worn it, letting the cold metal press against his bare skin. This was too much. Never in a million years did Feliciano expect anything like that to ever happen to him, and to have it happen in a matter of weeks? He thought he must be absolutely mad. But it was a wonderful, intoxicating madness.

After a few minutes, he decided to take some of Ludwig's advice. He sat up, reached into his pocket, and retrieved his phone. Lovino shouldn't be busy right now. He picked up on the second ring.

"Pronto."

"Hi, Lovino!"

"Feliciano? I haven't heard from you in a few days. How is everything?" Lovino sounded relaxed, a good sign he was able to talk for more than a few minutes.

Feliciano didn't know how to respond. Everything was more than fine. Right now, it was fantastic. His entire body buzzed with the ecstasy of it all. However, this was the first time that he felt that he couldn't tell his brother exactly what was going on in his life. He wanted to tell him about Ludwig, about his beautiful yet oh so confusing new feelings, everything.

Even so, he realized he couldn't. If he told him about all of that, it would only trigger a chain reaction. If he told him about Ludwig, he would have to tell him about the attacks and the bullies. Even if he was able to avoid telling him about that somehow, he wasn't sure if he would be able to talk about Ludwig without confessing that he was in love with him. That, he didn't think Lovino would take well.

"Everything is fine. Just how it normally is!" Feliciano was well aware he was lying through his teeth. Nothing that had happened that week was anywhere near normal.

"You sure, Feliciano? You sound awfully excited."

He was right. Feliciano thought for a moment, contemplating how he could possibly integrate all he wanted to say into the conversation without letting the cat out of the bag. "Hey, Lovino? Can I ask you a question?" He asked finally.

There was a pause. "Well, sure you can." Lovino said hesitantly. "What is it?"

Feliciano didn't give himself time to rethink his question. "Have you ever been in love?" He asked.

Lovino made didn't say anything for a moment. "Why do you want to know?"

"Just wondering!" Feliciano blurted.

"I don't think so." He said cautiously. "There has to be a reason you would ask such an unusual question." His voice went from melancholic to giddy in ten seconds flat. "Oh, Feli, there's a special girl isn't there?"

"No, Lovino! There is no special girl." He wasn't lying, after all. There wasn't a special girl. Lovino didn't say anything about a special boy; one that made him feel safe and loved and sent chills down his spine when they touched.

Lovino's tone went flat again. "Then why are you asking?"

"Is it really a crime to ask my own brother a personal question?" Feliciano said, praying to god he didn't sound too suspicious.

Lovino sighed. "Alright, alright. But no, I don't think I've ever been in love."

Feliciano frowned. There goes his one source of possible advice. Even so, he doubted Lovino would be of much help regardless. He was never very open. Even if he did have someone special, Feliciano doubted he would even mention it. All the same, he knew he eventually had to tell him about all of this. It just wasn't time yet.

They veered off the topic of love and talked instead about their everyday activities. Feliciano talked about his paintings and classes he found interesting, making sure to dodge questions about his social life. Lovino told him about his new friends and clubs in college, making sure to emphasize how exciting it all was.

Feliciano felt a sort of disconnect while talking to him. Things were so much simpler when they were younger. He hadn't seen his brother in almost a year, and he was beginning to feel like he didn't even know him. Phone calls could only do so much to keep them close. So many new things were going on in both of their lives and their differences were becoming more and more apparent. After they hung up, Feliciano sighed heavily into the painfully empty house.

.

Hours later, the phone call forgotten, Feliciano was lying on his bedroom floor. He wasn't doing anything, just staring at his ceiling fan spinning around and around. One thing he knew was that he had already failed Ludwig's request to not think about him. Part of him believed that that afternoon, maybe even the entire week was just a dream he was going to emerge from soon. He couldn't get over how sudden the whole thing was. Love had hit Feliciano like a hailstorm.

But none of that mattered now. He had Ludwig and the circumstances were irrelevant. Are we dating, then? Feliciano thought. He hoped so. He made a mental note to ask Ludwig.

The thought of it was so foreign, dating someone of his same gender. Before Ludwig, he had obviously known these types of relationships existed. The difference was they had never hit home, not until now that is. It was always something that happened in places far away to people he didn't know. In fact, real romance with anyone regardless of gender had barely crossed his mind before. He wouldn't have it any other way, but he wondered how the simple fact would limit them. Could they still hold hands and hug in the hallways like other couples? The simple thought of doing so made him ecstatic, but Feliciano supposed it didn't really matter. As long as they could be together, everything would be just fine.

Feliciano smiled like a fool. I'm in love with Ludwig Beilschmidt! He repeated the beautiful words over and over again in his head. He said them out loud a couple of times to prove to himself that this was real. He would scream them from the rooftops if he could. With the pleasing thoughts acting as a security blanket and the fan droning on, he fell asleep right on the floor.

.

Sunday wasn't eventful. Feliciano did as he was told, sleeping in late after he found his way to the bed sometime after he fell asleep initially. He made an attempt at painting, ate his meals and did his homework. He tried to keep his mind off Ludwig, he really did. Nevertheless, it seemed like no matter what he did those blues eyes and that deep voice kept finding their way into his thoughts. He was still wearing the necklace, only having taken it off once to shower. The unfamiliar weight around his neck served as a constant reminder of just how lucky he was.

First thing Monday morning, Feliciano nearly ran to his locker. His heart jumped when he saw Ludwig leaning against it. He greeted him with a hug without caring who saw. Afterwards, he turned to his locker. He was surprised to see a rose in one of the slots, the stem shoved through with only the red flower peaking out.

Ludwig didn't look at him. "That…that is for you." He stammered.

Feliciano could have squealed, but didn't. "Oh my gosh, it's beautiful! But why did you put it here, you could have just given it to me!" He reached out to grab his hand. When he pulled away, it stung.

Ludwig's eyes were filled with unsaid apologies. "For your own safety, I don't think it would be wise to be public about this yet."

While Feliciano was disappointed, he understood. They walked to their classes with a noticeable shyness between them; plenty of anxious glances and embarrassed smiles to go around. Lunch rolled around, and they were sitting on the same hill they always did. The sky hung heavy with dark grey clouds. The grass felt cold beneath them, giving Feliciano chills when he lied down in it.

Ludwig stared into the threatening sky. "Looks like rain." As if his words were controlling the universe, a deafening crack of thunder filled their ears. Feliciano yelped and sat upright immediately. When the lightening came, he jumped. Before they had time to react beyond that, the clouds burst open and spilt their contents onto the earth below. The rain started strong, not even beginning with a drizzle.

"Let's go to my car." Ludwig said as he pulled Feliciano to his feet. They abandoned their empty lunch bags and ran towards the parking lot all while the heavy rain beat down on them. The cold water chilled Feliciano to the bone as it soaked his clothing and hair.

When they finally made it to the car, they got in the back seat and slammed the doors behind them. Feliciano shivered and wrapped his arms around himself for warmth.

Ludwig fidgeted in his seat and avoided eye contact. "Are you cold?"

Feliciano wondered why he would need to ask. "Well, yeah."

He nearly forgot how to breathe when Ludwig put his arm around his waist and pulled him into his side. "Is this alright?" He asked. He was staring out the window now.

Before Feliciano could even nod, the loudest crack of thunder he had ever heard in his life filled the sky and sent fear shooting through his heart. He threw his arms around Ludwig out of shock and closed his eyes. When he opened them he realized Ludwig was looking down at him. Their faces were only inches away.

For a moment, neither said a word. Feliciano looked at him, forgetting he had ever been cold. Ludwig's hair fell loosely in his face as the water dripped from it. His face was flushed from the cold, and his already too-tight shirt was clinging to him even more. He looked so, so perfect.

"Hey, Ludwig?" He said.

"Yes?"

"Your brother isn't here now."

Feliciano's heart was beating out of his chest, the sound only masked by the pounding of the rain against the windows. Ludwig looked confused for a moment. Then his mouth fell open, forming an inaudible "oh." A million questions ran through Feliciano's head. He looked away, his breathing quick and unnatural. This was supposed to be natural, wasn't it?

"I don't know what to do." The words left his mouth before he could stop them. Feliciano bit his lip and prayed he didn't ruin the moment he'd waited so long for.

Ludwig looked at him and smiled. "I would think this is like art, Feliciano. It's not about formulas or having the right form, you get to do anything you want."

Feliciano's chest jumped at the sound of him repeating his own words; astonished he had remembered. Shaking, he brought his hand to Ludwig's slightly damp cheek. The world slowed down. His skin burned when the Ludwig's strong hands hesitantly wrapped around his waist and pulled him even closer. Finally, in what was the most amazing, confused and beautiful moment of his life, Feliciano leaned forward and kissed him. In that moment, everything stopped. There was no one else in the world but them.

Ludwig's mouth was cool and wet from the rain. The new sensation was intoxicating, Feliciano's entire body buzzing with ecstasy, nerves and everything in between. He brought his hand to his blonde hair and ran his fingers through it, tracing them down his neck. Ludwig's lips twitched as he did and his entire body shuddered. He couldn't be sure if it was from the cold or from Feliciano's touch alone.

"Feliciano…" he whispered against his mouth. Feliciano's heart jumped. Hearing Ludwig moaning his name sent chills throughout his entire body. Days earlier, he couldn't figure out what he wanted when he was with him. Now he knew. He had wanted exactly this, nothing more and nothing less.

When they finally broke apart, Feliciano noticed that Ludwig was blushing too. "Was that your first kiss, Ludwig?"

He nodded. "Yours?"

Feliciano nodded back.

Ludwig smiled slightly and looked away. Feliciano could not be sure if he had ever seen him act so shy. "I couldn't imagine my first being any better than that." He said quietly.

Feliciano looked up at him, smiling. "Want to have your second?"

They kissed again. They bumped noses a couple times, laughed nervously and paused in the middle just to smile. It was clumsy and just a bit awkward, but it was beautiful and it was perfect. Ludwig was the one to break away.

"Feliciano, take off your shirt."

His heart nearly stopped. This was going faster than he expected. "I beg your pardon?"

Ludwig reached under the seat and pulled out two neatly folded school shirts. He handed one to Feliciano, who giggled at the unspoken misunderstanding. "You just happen to have two shirts in your car?"

Ludwig shrugged. "I like to be prepared." He said. "Now change, I don't want you to get sick."

Feliciano blushed as he slowly undid the buttons on his shirt. He felt shyer than he did changing in front of the other boys in the locker room. Something about this felt more intimate. In one hasty movement he took off the wet shirt and pulled on the dry one. The shirt was huge on him and went almost to the middle of his thighs. He could smell Ludwig's cologne, still residing on the shirt after being washed. Ludwig soon did the same, and Feliciano couldn't help but steal a glance at his muscular chest as he did so.

"You're still wearing it." Ludwig said, glancing at the necklace that had taken on a permanent residence on Feliciano's chest.

Feliciano tucked the necklace under his new, massive shirt. "Yep! Why wouldn't I? I couldn't leave the house without it!"

"I'm glad you like it." Ludwig glanced at his watch and his smile disappeared. "As much as I hate to say it, we have to head back in."

"We're going to get soaked again!"

Ludwig leaned into the front seat, reached into his glove compartment and pulled out an umbrella. "Always prepared."

To be continued...