Author's Note: This is up later than normal, I didn't start writing until later because of work and stuff today. A couple of my other works will also most likely get a long overdue update tomorrow or Monday – I've got the day off of college, so woo!
I want to thank each and every one of you who have reviewed this monster! There are over 300 of them now, and I still can't believe it. You guys are absolutely adorable, and I love you like Iza-chan loves his ootoro. Keep up the good work!
Well, this update was a lot of fun to write, I really enjoyed writing this side to them both. So I really hope you like it just as much as I do!
Izaya Orihara didn't like waiting. He was used to having things done for him right there and then, or if that wasn't the case, he was used to doing just as he pleased whenever he felt like it. Waiting was as foreign to him as the other host of new feelings that he had been feeling lately, and he wasn't sure he really liked it all that much.
After his little meeting with Shizuo that morning, the raven had ended up standing outside of the blonde's apartment door waiting for him to return home from work. He'd tried wondering around Ikebukuro, getting sushi to pass the time before heading home, but he'd been unable to quell the desire to visit Shizuo after his work day ended, to talk this out. The oaf wasn't due back for another ten minutes or so, and though Izaya had only been waiting that long already, it already felt like hours, and his whole body was itching with irritation at the lack of action. It was madness that he was going to such lengths, and if he was really honest, he wasn't even all that sure why he was pushing the issue so much; but here he was, doing just that.
He'd had a long time to think about why, all day in fact, ever since he had hung up on Shiki that morning and left his loft in a huff. He supposed that was what had kick started this urgency to meet with the monster again, though it had only been a short while since they had parted. Shiki had said things that had brushed up against Izaya in the wrong way; he'd implied that Izaya needed him, and the raven wasn't going through that again. He didn't need anyone. Maybe that was why he had to talk to Shizuo, to explain, to talk. Izaya didn't like the implication that Shizuo was the one in charge, he didn't like the feeling that Shiki thought the raven was the same weak boy he had been, that he was just clinging on to the blonde. It wasn't like that.
It had been madness to try and track Shizuo down in Ikebukuro and do that face to face though. It wasn't something that he normally would have done, or maybe it was and the new him just didn't remember that was how he had used to act. That's what it was, wasn't it? An act. Some elaborate show for Shiki and himself. He had gone that morning to prove a point and show that despite him spiralling out of control and changing into someone else, he was still in control of his own actions. It was rational, really, considering they'd gone to bed together a handful of times, to want to find out where they stood.
Izaya didn't know. He doubted that Shizuo had ever really thought into what they were doing that deeply. He knew the brute better than anyone else did after all, and he knew that Shizuo would have one hell of a hard time working past the 'oh shit, I just fucked the louse' stage. It was almost adorable. Of course the monster wouldn't see the deeper side of things, the more serious things. That should give Izaya all the excuse in the world to not have to define this, to just keep it loose and casual, just the way he liked his relationships, his sex. And yet there was that part of him itching to prove Shiki wrong, wrong about whatever the hell he meant.
Izaya was proud, and one day he knew that would be the death of him. His pride and his stubbornness would be his undoing. It was only a matter of time, but he guessed he'd always known that.
Shizuo had been funny that morning though. Izaya's lips curled up into a half smile at the memory of it. He'd watched the blonde try and act like nothing was going on, just like normal, as if they were the same old cat and mouse duo, fire and water, light and dark. The effort had been admirable, and Izaya guessed he was probably the only one who would have been able to see past those beautiful acting skills the blonde had shown that morning. The raven made a mental note to ask Kasuka if he'd been giving Shizuo private lessons.
The flickering of the light perched above his head in the little hallway was really started to get on Izaya's nerves. He'd been stood outside of the door to the apartment on the third floor for long enough now to pick out all the little other flaws too; the way the paint had chipped off of the walls in certain places, the fading letters on each door and the faint tap, tap, tap of a drip that sounded like it was coming from some kind of broken pipe. Izaya knew that Shizuo wasn't exactly made of money, but he was certain that the blonde could afford something better than this. The whole apartment complex was shitty, looked like it was ready to be torn down and replaced with something better. He knew maybe that he was just used to the luxury of his loft in Shinjuku, but that thought was quickly shoved out of his mind. No, this place was as bad as it looked.
Shizuo wasn't as proud as he was though. That was one of his saving graces. The blonde was humble and modest and unassuming, so maybe they really were a good match after all, maybe they needed that balance. No, maybe it was just Izaya that needed it. He guessed that was how he could stomach to live in a place like this, or maybe the cheap rent and lax rules about smoking indoors had something to do with it.
Time seemed to crawl, peeling at Izaya's skin, making it itch and tingle. Izaya Orihara didn't like waiting, but for Shizuo Heiwajima, he'd do just that.
Shizuo Heiwajima was always tired after a long day at work, even more so today after the morning he'd had. Normally he liked to come home and run a long bath, letting the hot warm and steam just melt away the aches of the day and the troubles of the mind. He liked to retreat to his sofa or his room with a glass of milk and a quick smoke to read. Shizuo liked reading. He wasn't the best at doing so, or the fastest, but it always helped wind him down after a day at work.
All of those plans went soaring out of the window like the beams shooting down the hallway from the flickering light when Shizuo spotted the figure waiting outside of his apartment. There would be no hot bath now, no milk, no smoke and certainly no quiet time alone to finish the last chapter of that book that Celty had lent to him; just a raven with a wicked smirk, fluttering its feathers indignantly on his doorstep.
There was only a slight falter in Shizuo's footsteps as he continued on towards his door. He guessed Izaya picked up on that, because the raven's head turned from looking down the hallway to face Shizuo. His lips tilted up at that, the corners tweaking up into that smirk that had used to rub Shizuo all the wrong ways. When that had changed he didn't know, when this had all become so okay, so normal, he didn't know either. Somewhere between the first forceful mouth to mouth contact to their last fuck that morning he guessed, maybe it had always been okay and he'd never really noticed.
"For a stalker, you're doing a pretty shitty job," Shizuo spoke up, moving past Izaya and reaching into his pocket to fumble for his door key. It seemed the most natural thing in the world now to just talk to the information broker, to joke with him, and not send him flying through the air like he had used to do. His tone was gruffer than it was when talking to someone else, though he guessed that was because there was some part of him that still didn't think it was right to just be nice to the man who had made his life hell for so long. The door lock clicked under his hand as he turned the key, the hinges squeaking as it opened.
No doubt picking up on the teasing edge to Shizuo's words, Izaya laughed. The sound echoed a little in the hallway, rebounding over Shizuo, washing over his form and soaking into his skin, his pores. When had that sound changed from something horrible to this? It dripped with gold, danced with the scent of summer and it was pulling him in and in and in like a spider stringing along a fly. He guessed that was the story of their relationship, always had been, and always would be.
"Well, maybe I got tired of hiding," Izaya replied after a moment, following Shizuo through the doorway into his home with all the grace of a wave, a silent ghost. There was amusement in his voice too, just like that delicious laughter, but Shizuo got the feeling this was serious business too.
"You're weird," Shizuo replied, moving about his apartment as if Izaya being there made no different. He kicked off his shoes by the door, leaving the raven to shut the door behind them and do the same. Izaya laughed again at that.
"We're all a little weird," the information broker countered. Shizuo had moved into the living room area by then, but he could hear the sound of Izaya taking the time to remove his own shoes. The little act of politeness seemed so out of place that he almost wanted to laugh, almost. He managed to keep it inside, if only because Izaya was still talking, and he was captivated by where this conversation was going now. Had it ever been like this before? He didn't think so.
"And life is a little weird too," Izaya was saying, now moving into the room after Shizuo. He had taken off his jacket too, just wearing black and black and a smirk, that smirk, brilliant white. "And sometimes we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours and we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness, and we call it lov—"
"So that's why you're here," Shizuo cut in, picking up immediately on the tone of the conversation. He should have realised that this morning was something that would come swinging back into his life soon enough, that Izaya wouldn't let something like that go. He was stubborn, but the louse was so much worse than he was. It was almost endearing, almost.
"Of course," came the reply. Shizuo's hands tucked into the pockets of his trousers, shoulders hunched awkwardly. Izaya's body seemed to radiate pure confidence, the total opposite to the blonde, oozing certainty that the raven didn't even really feel. "I'm not here to deliver anymore potted plants for you,"
The two fell into a quick silence after that, both of them merely regarding the other with a cool glance. It was pleasant, and neither was really in any hurry to break it. This was still so foreign to both of them, and why would they want to go changing it any further? Any move now would send the both of them toppling further down into the abyss in which they had already started to fall.
"It's funny, isn't it?" Izaya was the first to break the silence, and Shizuo was quick to look to him when he spoke. The louse laughed again, and this was a different laugh than the others, darker, lower. It sent chills through Shizuo, tingles in his skin and stoked the fire in his blood. Had the room gotten hotter all of a sudden?
"Yeah," he agreed, and let his own low rumble whisper out of his mouth. It mixed with Izaya's, the two sounds dancing and entangling in the air for a few seconds before silence claimed the room once again. This was awkward and Shizuo didn't like it.
"What is this, then?" the blonde questioned, his words coming out blunter than he had meant them. Izaya didn't reply for a moment, seeming to ponder the words before letting his shoulders lift and fall in a shrug.
"That's why I'm here, I don't know either," Izaya answered. The two of them had stood opposite each other in the room, directly facing, eyes locked. "I know I don't hate you anymore, I know it feels good when you fuck me. So, where does that leave us Shizuo?"
The raven was moving now, Shizuo could see that. He was stalking, closer and closer and closer towards the blonde, still wearing that smirk of his. This was madness, truly it was. He didn't understand how Izaya seemed so okay with all of this, how he seemed so in control, because Shizuo's mind was fraying, frantically trying to knot together again. The information broker wanted this fixed now, he wanted it clarified, to have all of this tied up in one neat bundle. And yet he wasn't going to just barge in and tell Shizuo how it was like he might have done before. That wasn't what people in love did, was it?
"Would it be mad to consider this something more?" Izaya whispered, low, practically purring. "More than just a casual kiss and a quick caress beneath the sheets? Something that takes us both somewhere, that translates both of us, changes us?"
"I decided you were mad a long time ago," Shizuo laughed back, as if that was all the answer needed. He was suddenly all too aware of the sound of his own breathing and his heart thudding in his ears as Izaya came closer, closer, closer. "Guess I always knew I was a little bit crazy too,"
"Oh, of course we're crazy," Izaya laughed in the quiet dark. "Everyone in Ikebukuro is,"
"This is mad," Shizuo muttered again, and his tone was low, quiet, like some child needing direction, a puppy left in the rain, alone.
Another flutter of silence fell over the two of them, shattered by the flurry of mouth on mouth, fighting a battle that neither would concede. Izaya was practically panting when they broke apart, Shizuo's cheeks flushed.
"When love is not madness, it is not love," the raven grinned, and reached his mouth back up to Shizuo's.