It Takes Time

By: Le tired

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or its characters, blah blah blah, etc.

Rated: T for some language and…stuff?

Author's Notes: Ahahaha another update! A cookie for me. Well here it is, the first chapter in Hitsugaya's POV. It was definitely harder than writing as Matsumoto, because I think he's not someone who overly focuses on his emotions. He's in touch with them, but tries not to let them affect him because he's more of a practical guy and he's got a lot on his plate already (with the filler arcs, he's fighting a Soul Society invasion like every week). Well anyway, that's my interpretation. Enjoy!

Writing bunny: Nope, he's stuck with Matsumoto sober and drunk :).

bandgirlz: Haha yeah that was pretty disastrous. I just couldn't see a date between Matsumoto and Hitsugaya going off without a hitch since Matsumoto is almost always so uninhibited. Hitsugaya's feelings for her…gosh it's really hard for me to describe, but I hope in the next few chapters, it'll make a little more sense. You've definitely hit the nail on the head though—his actions aren't meant to be romantic at this point.

kriitikko: Thanks for still following! I can't wait to see where this goes either…this stuff kind of writes itself sometime :P.

Prince of Winter Dragons: Thank you for reviewing, I try to answer each and every reviewer since you all took the time to write something to me :). I'm glad you like the characterization so far and hopefully Hitsugaya's POV also rings true. I think Hitsu and Matsu are both such interesting characters because they really say little of what they feel and you can interpret them in so many ways. Peace and love! :)

sagitgirlth: Yeah Matsumoto was really fun to write. Hitsugaya is more restricted, but I like the challenge too. Thanks again for the review and hope you like the chapter!

Chapter 9

Hitsugaya Toshirou hated Aizen Sosuke. First and foremost, there was what he had done to Hinamori and for that, Toshirou would carry hatred in his heart until the day he died. But there were other reasons too.

Aizen's betrayal had not only weakened, but irrevocably changed Seireitei. Divisions had clashed. Captains had fought their lieutenants. Hell, captains had fought other captains. And for the first time in what had probably been a long while, they had all experienced the limits to their abilities in battle. He knew Kuchiki Byakuya and Soi Fon had both been humbled by Shihouin Yoruichi, and Kurotsuchi Mayuri had met defeat at the hands of the Quincy. Even the infamous Zaraki Kenpachi had lost to the substitute Shinigami Kurosaki Ichigo. And of course, he had fallen to Aizen in the blink of an eye. It was hard to believe in anyone these days, even yourself.

But there was no point or time to indulge in self-pity. You learned from the past—if you were lucky enough to survive your mistakes—and moved on. When Aizen returned, Toshirou was determined to have increased his own strength and kill the lying traitorous bastard. He would not let Hinamori be hurt again. He would protect her and the rest of Soul Society as a captain of the Gotei 13.

Before protecting, however, there first came healing. Hinamori, he hadn't seen much since she had been whisked into the fourth division to recover from Aizen's blow, and even if he were to see her, he wasn't naïve; there was nothing he could do for her. On the other hand, there was plenty to do for Soul Society, especially now that they were more like the Gotei 11.5, with three divisions running helter-skelter and barely supervised under lieutenants still dealing with the realization that their esteemed captains had seen them as little more than dupes.

And this was the latest reason for why Hitsugaya Toshirou wanted Aizen's head on a stake. Before all this started, every division functioned smoothly and independently from the others. There had been no need for collaboration. His duties rarely required the involvement of the other captains and he'd enjoyed working in solitude. Now, it seemed these days he couldn't round a corner without bumping into a captain or lieutenant and having to exchange words with them. Ukitake in particular, seemed to feel a bond with him and always tried to hand him candy.

It wasn't that Toshirou had anything against teamwork or any individuals among the Gotei 13, and he certainly saw the necessity of coming together in these volatile times. But the group dynamics of the Gotei 13 had definitely shifted, and he wasn't sure he liked it. They had grown closer…uncomfortably so. Toshirou now knew things that he had no business knowing, like Kuchiki's deceased wife or Komamura's issues about his appearance or how ill Ukitake was. A lot of personal emotional laundry had been aired and as a fairly guarded person himself, Toshirou thought it was just wrong. These were intimate details people had held close to their hearts. Now all of Seireitei knew them.

And not just knew. Toshirou might have been all right with that but no, the regular Shinigami wouldn't stop blathering these secrets and with all the whispering and gossiping, the secrets became speculations, and the speculations became outlandish rumors of mythic proportions.

"Hey, I heard Hisagi-fukutaichou was defeated by the fifth seat of the eleventh division. That must mean the fifth seat has unlocked his bankai! He'll probably be a captain soon."

"They say Soi Fon is still so loyal to Shihouin Yoruichi that she might abandon her captain's post to rejoin her in the human world."

"Abarai-fukutaichou has wanted to propose to Kuchiki Rukia ever since he fought his captain for her, but ironically he now needs Kuchiki-taichou's permission as the big brother."

On and on it went. And Toshirou's name had come up more than a few times as well. According to some, he was keeping a bedside vigil by Hinamori until she recovered. Others had heard he had long wanted to fight Aizen because he was jealous of Hinamori's affection for the villain. No, he was now seeking solace in Matsumoto's bosom because of his despair over Hinamori's condition and she was always too drunk to care. It was outrageous, the way they made him out to be a broken-hearted moony-eyed bum with nothing to do but pine after women, when in fact he was up to his chin in paperwork and falling asleep at his desk writing orders.

The rumors themselves weren't actually new. When you were assigned a buxom knockout like Matsumoto Rangiku for your lieutenant, people were going to talk. And there had been a few murmurs about Hinamori as well. Toshirou had accepted this (after many months of futile fuming and stalking in his office). What irked him now was that he himself had provided the fodder by losing his cool in his fights with Gin and Aizen. Displaying his protectiveness and caring for Hinamori in public was like an open invitation for people to further stick their noses in his private life. Now, every time he passed a group of Shinigami, he could feel their pitying stares drilling into his back. They didn't even wait until he was around the corner to begin their musings.

"Poor Hitsugaya-taichou. He must miss Hinamori-fukutaichou dreadfully."

"Maybe his love for her will help them both."

"But she still has eyes only for Aizen."

"Well, Aizen was a man, while Hitsugaya-taichou is still…"

It was like one of those nonsensical soaps from the human world that Matsumoto loved. And Matsumoto had it even worse than he did. Toshirou had defended his unrequited love. She had fallen for one of the traitors. Comments ran the gamut from how borderline suicidal she must be from grief to how incomprehensibly stupid she was to have loved someone like Ichimaru Gin.

Toshirou had to admit he was somewhat baffled himself when he learned about the past relationship between his lieutenant and Ichimaru. He'd seen Matsumoto with the ex-third division captain a few times (when tracking her down to tell her to finish her paperwork), but had never given it much thought. Looking back, he still couldn't recall observing any signs between the two to suggest anything more than a platonic relationship. He'd almost dismissed the rumors…until he saw Matsumoto.

Whatever her faults (and there were many), Toshirou knew Matsumoto to be a kind and brave woman. She tried to be strong in front of him, knowing he had troubles of his own, but it wasn't hard to see past her chipper façade when she came in every afternoon smelling of sake and a face still streaked with tears in her sleep. That had thrown him for a loop, he had to admit, to have seen her so vulnerable. It provoked an unfamiliar urge to protect her. Much the same way he felt for Hinamori. But he'd always known Hinamori to be too gentle for her own good; he'd always known he had to look out for her. Matsumoto…he'd viewed as nigh indestructible. She was brash and fearless, and he'd never seen anything faze her up to that point.

But now here she was, in clear pain. And again, as with Hinamori, Toshirou found himself completely unable to do anything about it. Even worse, he couldn't help feeling he was somehow responsible by getting her involved in his fight with Gin. She came back on her own, his inner voice protested.

And it was a good thing she did, wasn't it? another part of him responded darkly. Good thing she backed you up despite how she felt. If she'd rode on her emotions the way you did, things could have turned out very differently for you and Hinamori. She was far more level-headed than you. You owe her.

That was obvious. Toshirou had owed her ever since she helped him recognize the voice calling to him in his dreams and saved his granny. She'd helped him discover a new path and purpose in life as a Shinigami and stood by him ever since. He'd been determined to prove his worth as a captain and serve Soul Society with devotion and honor; it seemed the best way to repay Matsumoto's good will. He'd have done more, but over the years Matsumoto had never shown any weakness or in need of assistance. Now in her greatest time of need, surely he could do something for the woman who had remained at his side and guarded his life?

Shamefully, it would seem no. Every day, Toshirou silently watched Matsumoto battle her grief, trying to find a good time to step in and offer his support. But a proper moment never seemed to present itself. In the end, the only way he could make it up to her was giving her as much time as she needed to adjust (although there were times he feared he was going to end up an accomplice to her death by alcohol poisoning) and covering her duties.

Slowly, but much faster than he would have expected, Matsumoto did bounce back. Even better, their working relationship remained the same. Toshirou hadn't realized until then how greatly he valued the rapport between them. The thought of having Matsumoto awkward around him because of his fight with Gin had kept him awake for more nights than he cared to admit. It was strange, since he'd always thought her cheery careless attitude often worsened his mood. But the truth was, a part of him always felt more at peace when he saw her smile.

And now…now Matsumoto was smiling again, which was great except…something was still off. Over the course of the last few weeks, Matsumoto seemed to have become preoccupied with something. It wasn't overly alarming and if anything, it was helping maintain her spirits. She was energetic again and Toshirou wondered if it was best to leave things be…but that almost never worked out well for him when Matsumoto was involved.

Thus, when Matsumoto had somehow blackmailed him by way of stripping (it was the best way he could put it) into a dinner out with her, he'd actually welcomed the opportunity to try and talk to her. He was still trying to decide if the evening had been a resounding success or abysmal failure.

Matsumoto had started out the evening her usual loud raucous self, but their conversation before dinner had been surprisingly intimate. Toshirou was still trying to work out how his normally crass lieutenant had somehow gotten him to share feelings he hadn't even entirely realized were there. And how natural it had felt to finally speak his mind to the woman across the table from him, her soft blue eyes glowing in the candlelight, filled with tenderness and understanding. It had left him slightly rattled when it hit him—how truly fond of her he was. No one else had made such a huge impact on his life. No one else had been by his side for so long, so unwaveringly.

…then Matsumoto got drunk, and things spiraled downhill fast. Toshirou winced. The coup de gras had to be when he somehow triggered an inebriated rage in Matsumoto ending in a tumble into the river and the two of them later soaking wet by the shore. Toshirou still couldn't wrap his mind around what had happened. One minute they'd been happy as clams, and the next Matsumoto was crying and blubbering about how he and Ichimaru were running away from her. Ichimaru's name had immediately struck a warning bell in Toshirou's mind, and he struggled to determine if Matsumoto's last words before her dunking held any significance or insight into why she'd been the way she was recently. Certainly, if anything, it was odd to hear her declare him and Ichimaru as alike in their treatment of her.

Toshirou really wanted to meditate on this more but as always, just as he was possibly on the brink of solving one problem, another raised its ugly head.

For the second time in how many months, Toshirou had somehow thrust himself into the gossiping spotlight of Seireitei by his unthinking actions. Some Shinigami had spotted him and Matsumoto by the river, and now the quarters were buzzing with what they'd been doing there. It sure didn't help that Matsumoto had been dressed the way she was, and he'd been in the process of disrobing when they were seen. Even he had to admit from an objective viewpoint that it was sketchy as hell.

God he wanted to just smack his head against his desk until he knocked himself out. The polished wooden surface was looking more and more appealing when who should show herself but his accomplice.

"Good morning, taichou!"

"It's afternoon, Matsumoto," he shot back out of habit, although he wasn't sure he should be speaking to her right now. They'd been on one too many emotional whirlwinds as of late, and he was in serious risk of going insane if she wanted to play any more zany mind games today. He fumbled around for the nearest document he needed to finish, and began writing furiously.

A shadow fell over him, and some blonde locks of hair swung into his vision as Matsumoto bent over to watch him. "That's amazing, taichou. You're so industrious today!"

"I have to be, since you never do any work."

"But working all the time isn't good for you, taichou. Shopping is so much more relaxing." Matsumoto must have realized he was still avoiding her gaze because she thrust her humongous breasts across the table, forcing him to jerk his head up or get tit-smacked (an indignity he still suffered at least once a week for all his honed reflexes). He glared up at her in wordless irritation, but Matsumoto merely smiled and continued. "By the way, taichou, thank you for lending me your haori last night."

Just the mention of last night made Toshirou's head pound. "I'm never letting you talk me into something like that again."

"Eh? Why's that, taichou?"

"It was completely humiliating and now, do you know what people are saying about us?"

"Hmm, what's that, taichou?" She stuck one finger cutely against her cheek, a telltale sign that she knew exactly what he was talking about. Toshirou saw red.

"They all think we were doing something inappropriate!"

"Oh, is that so?" Matsumoto pretended to think solemnly about it for a moment, then shrugged and smiled innocently down at him. "I guess we did look pretty funny out there last night, didn't we?"

"It wasn't funny. Inappropriate," he ground out.

"How exactly, taichou?" She batted her eyes at him, and Toshirou realized she was baiting him into another pointless and idiotic conversation.

"Never mind. Are you going to work now? Those need to be stamped by this afternoon." He gestured to the folder of papers on her oft-neglected desk.

Matsumoto pouted. "That's so cruel of you, taichou, assigning me work already!" She hopped up onto his desk, once again making Toshirou lean away from his papers and look at her. "Ne, ne, tell me more about the rumors, taichou. That's far more interesting."

There it was again, that nagging sense that Matsumoto was up to something. Wanted something. From him? Toshirou frowned. That couldn't be it. What could he possibly do for Matsumoto that she couldn't just straight out ask for? But he couldn't shake the feeling, that Matsumoto had changed her attitude towards him. "I think the most popular theory is that we went skinny-dipping and proceeded to make out on the shore."

"We only made out? How adolescent. I'm a grown woman, I'm going to need more than that." Matsumoto pouted. Then her eyes lit up again like firecrackers. "How did it happen? Who do they think made the first move?"

Toshirou stared at his lieutenant. Her face was alight with unmistakable pleasure and she was fluttering her lashes excitedly. This rumor didn't just amuse her—she was really excited about it. Why, for the love of God? "You don't seem to mind."

"Why should I, taichou? It's just a rumor. I've told you, you can't stress out about these things. It's no wonder you have white hair already. Besides," Matsumoto leaned in and her voice took on a throatier tone. "They aren't that far off. We were on a date, weren't we?"

She wasn't touching him, but somehow, it felt she had crowded into his personal space more than when she sandwiched his head between her breasts. Disjointed thoughts flew through Toshirou's mind, trying to come together to make sense of the situation. "That…wasn't a real date," he answered lamely. He wanted to push her away, but that would involve making contact, and touching one another at this moment made him feel incredibly uneasy. Like it could start something huge between them.

"How wasn't it a real date, taichou?" Matsumoto asked blithely, ignoring her captain's internal confusion. She started reciting, ticking items off her fingers as she went. "Letsee…you took me out to a nice dinner, we had wine and a moonlight stroll, and you tried to save me from drowning when I fell in the river. That was so romantic! I didn't know you had it in you, taichou! And at the end of the evening, you gave me your haori and walked me home." She paused as something occurred to her. "Oh, I don't have your haori today. I'm really sorry, Hitsugaya-taichou, but don't worry, I'll remember tomorrow!"

Toshirou had been expecting that last part. When Matsumoto had asked for it, he'd pretty much given it up as lost forever. When they'd first started working together as captain and lieutenant, before he'd known better, he'd lent Matsumoto a tea cup. Years later, Matsumoto was still saying how she'd get that back to him later this week. It was a good thing he had so many spare uniforms. Of course, this didn't mean he should let Matsumoto off the hook. She had to learn responsibility one of these days…but wait, he was getting sidetracked. They were still discussing…the date? Something about the date. But it hadn't been a date. Had it?

Not for the first time, Toshirou wondered if he was the only captain in the history of Soul Society to be led around by his lieutenant this much. Most of the other captains seemed to have enthralled their lieutenants (creepily so in the case of Ukitake and his two fanatic retainers), whereareas he couldn't get his to so much as to sign and date her forms on time. Well, at least he was almost positive his predecessor had the same problem. Matsumoto was just so good at filling your ears with her chatter so you couldn't get a word in, and then expertly dropping a few sentences she knew would distract you, and before you knew it, she had her way.

He had to focus here. Think, think, think. "Stop it, Matsumoto. A seated officer, especially a lieutenant such as yourself, shouldn't play along and encourage these rumors. We have enough on our hands as it is."

"I'm not playing along, taichou! If I was, shouldn't I be calling you honey and kissing you?" She smiled coyly, but her eyes were regarding him intensely. "But you should acknowledge a date when you take a woman out on one, taichou! That's what real men do! And…" The smile faded slightly, and there was an achingly familiar and heartbreaking look in her eyes. Toshirou couldn't remember where he last saw it but it seemed important somehow. "I really enjoyed our time together. Did you, taichou?"

Yes he did, of course he did. He wouldn't have gone if he didn't enjoy her company. Shouldn't she know that by now?

She's asking something else idiot, his mind snapped impatiently at him. Where had he seen that look on Matsumoto before? It was…it was…Toshirou stopped. No, that wasn't right.

It was the same look he had seen in Matsumoto's eyes when she looked off into the distance and thought about Ichimaru. But why was she looking like that at him now?