It Takes Time

By: Le tired

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or its characters, blah blah blah, etc.

Rated: T for some language and…stuff?

Author's Notes: This might be my last update for a while. I actually had two more chapters written, but I went back and re-watched/re-read some Bleach and realized I'd made a mistake about how some events happened. I was really tempted to continue the story (it had some good scenes with Byakuya and Kenpachi!), but in the end, my neurotic obsession with accuracy prevailed. So…time to scratch the story I had in mind and re-plot. But I promise I'm not abandoning the fic!

sagitgirlth: Thanks! I love almost all the characters from Bleach so I try to throw them in when I can.

Prince of Winter Dragons: Thank you for reviewing! Yes, so many wonderful HitsuMatsu scenes. I'm glad you enjoyed the humor! I'll see what I can do about the suit, haha, but the story is currently undergoing some major re-writing.

Chapter 12

It was pretty late when Toshirou finally trudged wearily out of headquarters. He had underestimated Matsumoto's ability to hide her assignments. After finishing the pile on her desk, he'd proceeded to find two more in her usual storage area beneath the sofa, then some more stuffed on the top compartment of a closet usually reserved for office supplies. That Matsumoto…she'd even dared to hide some in one of his bureau drawers!

Honestly, what was he thinking, getting more involved with that woman?

No one, of course, answered his thoughts. Toshirou sighed and tilted his head back to look at the distant night sky. He supposed it was a good sign that Kyoraku and Ukitake (and Unohana in her own terrifying way?) had seemed to approve of…whatever he was starting with Matsumoto. But they weren't the ones actually taking on this new complication.

As a captain, he had real responsibilities. They were essentially in the middle of a war, and who knew what Aizen was going to throw at them from Hueco Mundo. Was now really the right time to be thinking romance?

And with Matsumoto, in particular. It was a horrible thought and disrespectful of her abilities, but…what if something happened to her? They'd had so many close calls. And he was still young and immature for a captain, he knew that. He didn't have the power to protect them both. Not that he'd be allowed to anyway—she was a lieutenant, and one of the most active ones in combat. This was what she'd signed up for, and well, he needed her to fight too; he wasn't so arrogant that he couldn't admit that. They'd always fought as a team; they weren't like Kuchiki and Abarai, who were often leaping into separate battles, or Soi Fon and Omaeda, who had some weird sadistic-masochistic relationship going on.

Matsumoto was his right hand. If he started seeing her as something else…could he bear to see her hurt? Immediately, he thought of Hinamori, and his stomach lurched. Probably not. For Toushirou, there was nothing more devastating than watching someone you cared about getting cut down in front of you; he'd almost lost his mind when Aizen had taken out Hinamori like that. Again, Matsumoto had always been able to take care of herself and he hated himself for doubting her, but he could remember the times she'd taken a particular heavy blow. Cried out in pain. He could always hear it, even in the heat of battling another enemy, and although he did his best to ignore it and focus on his fight, it would be there at the back of his head. If there was a reprieve, his eyes automatically searched her out, trying to confirm her well-being. Of course, he didn't like it when any of the subordinates under his command were injured, but Matsumoto was special. He felt personally for her.

It wasn't often since his lonely childhood that Toshirou regretted his lack of close friends who he could confide in, but now was definitely one of those times. Unfortunately, the two people in Seireitei closest to him were Hinamori and Matsumoto. Matsumoto, he obviously couldn't discuss without bias. Hinamori…that was another gigantic can of worms.

His best friend since childhood lay in a sick bed destroyed physically and emotionally, and he was going to skip off and mess around with other women? …All right, so it was just one woman and he was exaggerating, but it still felt sort of insensitive. A few months ago, had someone asked him who was the woman he cared for most in his life, he'd have named Hinamori without hesitation. Matsumoto probably wouldn't have even popped up on his radar—not because he didn't care for her, but because in a sense he supposed he'd come to take her existence for granted. She wasn't a woman in his life; she was like the sky or his zanpakuto. An integral part of his life and being that couldn't be distinguished from the rest of him.

Stupid of him, to have thought like that. Matsumoto was her own woman. A beautiful and strong woman, who was now demanding he see her as such. She was being very magnanimous about it too. He didn't think it was every woman who would go out with a man that had yet to clearly return her feelings.

Then again, it wasn't as if Matsumoto didn't have her own demons of the heart. She'd insisted this was not out of loneliness and she was a smart and insightful woman, so he believed her feelings for him to be genuine. But, he also knew she still cared deeply for Ichimaru—probably still loved him. Toshirou was no expert in romance, but didn't common sense suggest they give this more time?

Toshirou didn't think emotions like love could be rushed or forced to develop faster. It was why he'd never bothered to really examine his feelings towards Hinamori. After his fight with Gin, it was pretty much assumed by everyone that he'd loved Hinamori. And he had. It had just been in a simpler way than others thought. Hinamori was dear to him; it didn't really matter how. He would have reacted the same way had Aizen (for some unfathomable reason) chosen to target Granny in his plans. They were both precious people who had been kind to him in times when kindness was rare. They were gentle and innocent souls who deserved peace and happiness and to never be hurt.

He wasn't an idiot; he could see what his affection and protectiveness towards Hinamori could translate into in the future. But that would be in the future, and he'd deal with it then. They were both still young. In the meantime, he'd been quite content to see Hinamori as a friend. He'd never been jealous of her affection for Aizen, or longed for more between them. Such things, if they were meant to happen, would surely take their natural course.

Not anymore. Matsumoto was making her own course and as always, he found himself swept along. The woman was like a force of nature unto herself. It was so easy to take advantage of her simple-hearted character and accept her affection, especially seeing how happy a mere dinner out made her. And it just felt good to finally be able to do something for Matsumoto (that didn't involve doing her job). But if his heart had actually already chosen Hinamori…this was a very bad idea.

Hell, even if his heart chose Matsumoto, this could still be a very bad idea.

"This is NOT what I imagined when I became a Shinigami," Toshirou muttered. "Hollow killing, yes. Crazy love hijinks, no."

He really needed someone to talk to. Well, the only person left was…

"Oi, Hyourinmaru. Were you listening?"

Yes, master.

This was so silly, contacting his zanpakuto for such a trivial matter. Toshirou was tempted to drop the conversation. "Do you think I made the wrong decision?"

I'm afraid I don't know much about matters of the human heart. It is something you will have to determine yourself.

"I just don't know how I'm supposed to do this."

Perhaps there is no right way. There was a pregnant pause. Do you remember how you first found me, master?

"Yes."

We were both alone, searching for a place to belong.

"Yes."

Discovering love for another…perhaps that is another step towards truly finding your home. And to have earned the love of another is no small task. I think you should value that.

"I do." Toshirou tiredly rubbed his face. "It's just, I never even thought about earning this particular sort of love." What he didn't say, but knew his sword understood all the same, was Toshirou's expectation to die in battle before such a thing happened. His powers hadn't matured completely, but for whatever reason, Soul Society had seen him fit to become a captain of the Gotei 13—just about the most dangerous job in existence. Even Ichimaru, the last child prodigy, had been a lieutenant first. Toshirou's final (and still dissatisfied) conclusion was that he must have really blown someone's mind with his so-called potential…and now it was up to him to grasp it.

It was really ironic too, that he was expected to risk his life and handle such adult life-and-death situations, yet outside of battle, people still saw him as a twelve-year-old. Well, he could cry about the injustice of it all, but it wouldn't change a thing; his body refused to catch up with the rest of him. The other option was giving up his position and Toshirou had contemplated it at one point…but no one more qualified had shown himself. Stepping down and having someone even less capable of facing their enemies would essentially be murder. If he had the power to help people, he should employ it to the best of his ability. And so Toshirou had resigned himself to his strange dichotomous life of adult responsibilities while being treated and often dismissed as a child.

As for romance—not that it had ever been a priority for him—Toshirou was realistic with himself. The first impression his appearance gave off was that of a young boy. That, coupled with his white hair and oddly colored eyes, pretty much ensured no woman would bother looking twice, much less take the time to see past his exterior. The chances of Toshirou falling in combat were just wildly, exponentially higher than having someone develop an attraction towards him (pedophiles don't count). Hell, he'd almost died at Aizen's hands only a few months ago.

Matsumoto was really the only woman who saw him as an adult (though she made no effort to hide her amusement at his predicament), but the notion of her falling for him was almost more alien and unfathomable than any other woman caring for him. "Even if she'd never known Ichimaru, she's beautiful and intelligent and capable. She could have anyone she wanted. She could find herself the handsomest man in Soul Society, one who knows how to love and romance women. Why she wants me, the freakish child captain, who's always impatient with her and yelling at her to do work, is beyond my comprehension. If anything, shouldn't I have been the one to fall for her?"

She sees you, Hyourinmaru responded simply.

"I suppose." Shinigami and zanpakuto fell silent for some time. A thought suddenly struck Toshirou. "Hyourinmaru…can zanpakutos love? Have you ever loved?"

There was a long pause, and Toshirou was beginning to think he'd asked something he shouldn't have. But then came the ice dragon's response, with a whisper of wistfulness. No, but I think it would be a wonderful thing, should it happen. Do you not think so?

Toshirou closed his eyes and relaxed against a wall with his sword. "Yes, it would be wonderful."

Matsumoto was so excited. She'd spent all yesterday afternoon with the girls, then all of last night preparing for the date. After much debate and research, it was decided that Matsumoto and Hitsugaya should go to a recently opened sushi restaurant and then the bakery next to it for dessert. Afterwards, they would attend a bunraku theater show and lastly—if everything had gone well—she'd invite him to her place for some tea (but no diddling, it was quickly decided because then they'd have to explain it to Kusajishi-taichou). She could try to kiss him, but it would be chaste with no tongue. Unless he initiated, and then tongue was allowed. And maybe some heavy groping. ("You have to use your tongue to eat your lollipops and candy, don't you?" was Matsumoto's explanation to Kusajishi-taichou. "It's the same with boys!")

Matsumoto highly doubted her taichou was going to start anything, although it would be pretty sexy to have him turn those hot blue-green eyes, push her against a wall, and ravage her mouth with the same intensity he fought with…Matsumoto had to stop and fan herself briefly. Don't get ahead of yourself, Matsumoto. A chaste kiss was the most likely outcome.

As for what to wear, that was trickier. Nanao thought a modest dress would work best, while Soi Fon swore by tight-fitting black clothes. Kiyone thought she should go for the pretty girly skirt and blouse combo, and Isane advocated the casual girl-next-door look. Nemu had surprisingly been the most daring in suggesting a high-heeled boots and a miniskirt that was almost too inappropriate for even Matsumoto. Either way, it was clear…she was in dire need of new clothing!

So the SWA went on a shopping expedition and happily everyone picked up a few cute items. Matsumoto decided to combine all their ideas. Her outfit would be a pretty girly but modest dress with a blouse on top, and she'd wear casual pair of high-heeled boots. She also picked out a light jacket in case it got colder late at night.

After that, the SWA had parted ways, while Matsumoto continued her preparations at a salon getting a manicure and pedicure and facial. She'd gotten some new make-up and had her hair touched-up. She was going to knock her taichou's little tabis right off tonight!

Matsumoto was in such a good mood that she'd actually come in before noon, seated herself behind her desk and begun signing her forms (with hearts drawn around her name because everyone should share her love). If they both got their work done, her taichou would have no excuse even if he did get cold feet. Oh yes, tonight was going to be sublime.

"Matsumoto?" her captain's displeased voice broke into her thoughts.

"Hmm, yes, Hitsugaya-taichou?" she smiled at him across the room.

"You're humming again."

"Oh, sorry taichou, I didn't realize!" It was nice, she no longer had to hide her feelings. She could ogle Hitsugaya-taichou all day if she wanted, and he wouldn't be freaked out. She liked the way he stared at her too, hesitantly but with a different, thoughtful sort of recognition in his eyes—as if he were meeting her for the first time. He wasn't just seeing her, he was…taking her in, appreciating her. It was extremely flattering. Matsumoto didn't think a hundred men drooling at her feet could make her feel so attractive and feminine.

It was too bad her captain's brief glances were still on the magnitude of milliseconds before he zeroed back in on whatever task he'd been doing. But it was more than enough. She was already incredibly lucky that things had turned out the way they did. She'd managed to convey her feelings and connect with Hitsugaya more deeply than before. And hopefully soon they'd have a physical connection too…mmm yesss…

Toshirou clenched his brush so tightly it almost snapped in two when Matsumoto began humming dreamily again. Even doing work, that woman found a way to irk him to no end. If she was really doing work in the first place, that is. He couldn't help casting another dubious glance at the way she was lazily drawing her ink-dipped brush in loops.

He thought he could guess why Matsumoto was in such good spirits, and he supposed he should be grateful for the fact that it wasn't another sordid drinking party with Izuru and Hisagi. His lieutenant's spirits were so good, in fact, that in combination with her startling appearance in the office so early, he'd completely forgotten to yell at her about telling everyone about what had transpired between them. And now with her humming like that with such a vivacious sparkle in her eyes...as usual, he found himself unable to really go against the mood and bring it up.

And—he had to admit—it was really good to see Matsumoto like this. It was uplifting that she could find happiness in other places besides the bottom of a sake jug. And not just happiness. Hope. A reason to look to the future, instead of mourning the past. He recalled what Ukitake had said the other day about everyone being too tense. There was certainly truth to that. It was hard living with so many uncertainties and dangers hanging over your head, always ready to jump and fight for your life. Toshirou couldn't remember the last time he woke up without a stiff neck and sore shoulders from all the stress. Mentally, he'd also been constantly uneasy. There was always so much to do, and there was never enough time. Every day, he left his office feeling as if he should have done more somehow so things could go back to the way they used to be.

Since Matsumoto had sprung this on him, however, his mind had been decidedly less occupied with preparing for the imminent war. Not to say that the affair with Matsumoto wasn't stressful to think about (because it was damnit), but at least it was a different problem. It was a welcome change. And worrying about someone (no matter how aggravating) felt worlds better than continuously imagining the worst case scenario for an invasion on Soul Society.

This might not be such a bad thing after all, to have someone to get through this with.

He studied Matsumoto, with her long blonde hair falling in luxurious waves over her shoulders to brush against the document she was working on. She had tucked one lock neatly behind one ear, exposing a side of that long elegant neck. When she was happy like this, the skin over her prominent cheekbones were tinted a rosy pink and her face was smooth like porcelain. From this angle, with her head bent forward over her papers, you could see how long her lashes were as they fluttered against her pale skin. And how full and curved her lips were, pressing together in a slight pout, as she continued to hum.

All right, he knew she was gorgeous. How many times walking with Matsumoto had he almost been sprayed by a sudden nosebleed when his lieutenant decided to be a little provocative and flirt with a man? But…he hadn't really allowed himself to see Matsumoto that way. There were plenty of men to appreciate her outward experience, after all, but few knew as he did how loyal and selfless she was, how honest and genuinely caring for others. A woman with looks like Matsumoto's could easily become arrogant and expect special treatment. But Matsumoto worked as hard as anyone and never put on airs. She was proud of her looks, but only because they were a part of her, not because she actively thought she was better than everyone else.

The truth was, Toshirou really admired her, the way she could open herself to everyone, always ready to fight for those who needed help. She had, after all, rushed to his defense during that first fateful encounter in Rukongai, berating the store manager for his prejudiced treatment of a small white-haired boy. And later, she had come to him in the night and urged him to find the answer he was always seeking in his dream. She had changed his destiny.

Unfortunately, not really understanding the strange big-breasted woman, he hadn't shown much appreciation that night. After entering the Shinigami Academy and rising through its ranks, he began to realize in retrospect how much she had done for him. And he didn't even know her name. He really had been a brat about that matter. It was humbling.

He could still remember when he entered his headquarters as the newly appointed tenth division captain, and stopped dead, unable to believe his eyes. Her hair was longer, but otherwise, she was exactly as he remembered. She'd bowed respectively and said in a very official-sounding voice, "Tenth division fukutaichou, Matsumoto Rangiku, reporting for duty. I'm honored to work with you, Hitsugaya-taichou."

He'd also been planning to sound firm and professional but he'd ended up just repeating dumbly, "Matsumoto…Rangiku?"

That had made her blink, confused. "Yes, Hitsugaya-taichou? Is something the matter?"

"It's you…you're the one who told me to become a Shinigami." He knew he sounded like an idiot—not a good first impression for a captain—but he'd been completely unprepared for this. "I…I've always wanted to thank you, Matsumoto-sa-er, Matsumoto-fukutaichou." He almost bowed, but remembered all the doubts surrounding his appointment as such a young captain. He had to look firm. So he stood awkwardly, as Matsumoto squinted and tapped a finger against her cheek rhythmically as she tried to recall his face.

He didn't think she was going to remember him; it had been many years after all and a Shinigami lieutenant like her must meet dozens of new people a day. Then, all of a sudden, she gasped loudly, scaring the crap out of him. "OHHH it's you!" Her business-like demeanor had completely vanished. "The boy who was freezing his grandma! You're my captain! That's so CUTE!" She bent down and patted him on the head. "Ohhh, you've grown a bit! And you cut your hair!" She nodded in approval. "Mm-hmm, it looks good! Very stylish!"

"I, uh, needed to keep my hair out of my eyes while fighting Hollows," he'd responded, unsure where this conversation was going.

"And it makes you taller by a few inches!"

"…"

She continued obliviously, much to his ire. Each dopey offensive exclamation enraged him a little further. "Ahhh, I'm so happy, I get such a cute little taichou! Even your uniform is so small! Ohhh, taichou, can I buy you some cute clothes and dress you up? Oh, do you want candy, taichou? I think I've got some in my pocket…"

"I'M NOT A KID!" he'd erupted at the top his lungs. At his bellow, Matsumoto jumped back, a little bug-eyed. "I don't want candy and no, you can't buy me clothes and dress me up! I'm your captain and as such, I expect you to show me some proper respect, Matsumoto!"

So much for showing appreciation for what she did. And so much for winning the support and admiration of his division. Chagrined, he was about to apologize when Matsumoto smiled and saluted him cheerily. "Haaai, taichou! I'm sorry, you were just so cute, I forgot myself! But I promise to be a good lieutenant from now on, and serve you loyally. Ah! There's just one thing I want to warn you about."

"What's that?"

She pointed to her sizable breasts. "I know these are irresistible for young boys like you and I know you can't help yourselves, but don't you be getting all perverted on me."

Toshirou almost lost it again. "Like hell I would get perverted over—" He had a sudden flashback, and he pointed at her angrily in sudden recognition. "AH! Those are the monsters that knocked me down at the stall! They're a menace!"

"…knocked you down? Ohhh, that's right, I remember! You were crying like a baby and I had to tell you to man up! I hope you've grown some balls since then. Now that you're a captain, you're going to need them." She shook an imperious finger at him, infuriating him further. "Besides, I don't work for wussy men."

"WHAT? I wasn't crying! And shouldn't you apologize for knocking me over like that?"

They'd argued back and forth a little longer until some of the officers peeked in to see what the ruckus was all about. Then his once-benefactress and now lieutenant just smiled again, and he'd frozen in mid-rant. There was a merry sparkle in her eyes and her voice rang with warmth. "I'm so glad you're here, Hitsugaya-taichou. I'm glad everything worked out. Really."

He couldn't really remember what he said after that. That smile, that voice had completely disarmed him, drawn him close and held him too tightly for him to push away. What he did remember that day was how he had watched his lieutenant stroll out of the room and thought that as long as she was there, everything really might always work out.