Chapter 3

Simon's eyes flicked from one side to the other, unsure where he should go next. He had so many things to sort out, so many people to find and he had no idea where to start.

"Bastard."

Simon looked up as Jake stomped by, aiming a middle finger and a casual insult in his direction. That, he decided, might be a good place for him to start.

"Jake, wait," he tried to grab his shoulder but succeeded only in de-leafing a potted plant. He threw down a handful of leaves from his surprised hand and took chase after the angry DS instead, "Oi, I said wait!"

Jake turned around and glared at Simon.

"Are you oi-ing me?" he scowled, making a valiant attempt at being threatening. He knew it wasn't working out too well and decided to drop the front. He wasn't very good at that. Instead he stared at Simon, waiting for some kind of answer, some sort of explanation. He folded his arms when none was forthcoming and sighed, "well?"

Simon hesitated.

"Well what?"

"Where are the excuses?" Jake prompted, "all the spiel about him being some kind of reformed character."

Simon took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"He is," he said quietly but his words seemed to set Jake's anger off again.

"See, I knew you were going to throw something like this in the works," he snapped.

"Something like what?"

"The old, he's changed, he's not the same man you knew bollocks," Simon had never seen Jake with so much anger in his eyes, "I remember testifying in court, DCI Shoebury. I remember seeing that man sitting there, smirking away. He planted bombs in our station and, if rumours are to be believed, he -" Jake's voice dropped suddenly as he realised he couldn't bring himself to yell the next word. His eyes darted from side to side to make sure no one else was listening and hissed, "- raped DCI Drake. And Kim. DCI Stringer," Jake gave a brief sigh, never sure how to refer to his boyfriend's fiancée; by her name or her title. They weren't all out for a night of dancing but he couldn't shut himself off from the reality by using a job title. "Kim," he decided, "he raped Kim. He almost killed Robin. He had him chained up -"

"I know," Simon whispered, his heart sinking as his frustration rose.

"...beat him, punched him -"

"I know."

"...terrified him, tortured him, said things to him that hurt him so badly he won't even tell me -"

"So join the club," Simon interrupted crossly, "So Robin's got things he won't tell anyone. He's not the only one." he closed his eyes and drew in his breath, his cheeks flushing as he recalled how many months had passed in which Keats had filled his mind. He'd kept his infatuation a secret so as not to cause any hurt but what good had that done? Half of them knew how he felt anyway. He closed his eyes and looked down for a moment as he tried to regain his composure. This was important. He finally looked back at Jake and nodded very slowly.

"You witnessed a monster destroying your friends," he began slowly, "destroying the station. Trying to destroy every one of us. That man is not the same one who came to work this morning. I promise you that."

"Oh no?" Jake folded his arms and shrugged angrily, "so who is he then? A waxwork? A lookalike you hired from that agency down the road?"

"James had problems," Simon said quietly, "He was consumed by -" he flinched. He'd come so close to blurting 'the devil' but he couldn't. Jake didn't know. He had no idea. He stepped through Gene's world every day and had no idea of the true nature of the air around him. There was something innocent and beautiful about that; watching the ones who belonged going through their daily lives, the lives they didn't have back in the real world any longer. He drew in his breath and tried again. "He had some mental health issues. He wasn't himself, quite literally, Jake. He thought he was someone else. Someone evil. He felt like there was a voice inside his head, making him do bad things." It wasn't altogether a lie. In fact the excuse seemed quite fitting. The devil hadn't been on his shoulder, it had been in every bone of his body. "He fought and fought to get free of that voice, and he got better."

Jake stared at Simon incredulously. It all seemed a little too convenient of an excuse to him.

"Did he seek treatment?" he asked dryly and Simon closed his eyes.

"Not as such," he whispered.

"Then how do you know he's better?" Jake asked, "he could be faking it, or -"

"He's not faking it," Simon's voice was steady and certain as he shook his head, "he got help. It wasn't medicated but it was what he needed." He recalled the long evenings by the fire where James spoke about the gaps in his memory, how it felt as he'd overpowered the dark side and how the way he felt about Simon had been the crucial key in that victory. "He's beaten his demons," Simon's voice wavered a little, "and he's getting there."

"Bullshit," the one word Jake uttered under his breath contained every ounce of venom he felt towards Keats, even though what he knew of the situation was minimal compared to most. He thrust his foot forward to remove himself from the situation before he landed another punch on Simon and put himself in danger of a broken hand but Simon grasped his arm and stopped him.

"James has serious psychological issues. He had a breakdown of sorts. He didn't know what he was doing, he was quite literally not himself and now he's in a situation where his body -" he flinched. He knew Jake wasn't buying it and he had to tone it down to a level he would understand, "it feels to him like his body went off on a mission to destroy people without him. He lives every day with the knowledge that he's being blamed for things he has no memory of and couldn't fight back against. All he wants is a chance, Jake. Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?"

Jake stared at Simon; his heart beating hard and fast as he thought about Simon's words. No, he wasn't sure that everybody did deserve a second chance. But if the question came down to whether James deserved a second chance, he felt himself starting to make a decision he wasn't sure he should be making.

"Maybe," he whispered, "but that would depend on whether what you believe is true."

Simon blinked, trying to take in Jake's expression. What did it even mean? He was so hard to read at times.

"I've seen him," he said quietly, urging Jake to believe him, "I mean, before. I saw him torn, trying to fight back the monster with terror on his face. I heard him beg with me, plead with me to help him. He wanted to be -" he tried not to let the word 'human' slip out, "to be James. To have a life, to lead it as he wished without someone else at the helm. I watched him in agony, fighting the demons in his head, for himself, for me, for the good of everyone. He did it, Jake. And for the last month I've watched him trying to rebuild his life. This is another step for him. Not just having a job to keep him going, keep his mind working, day after day but to face the people he knows that he hurt." He paused for breath and noted the look on Jake's face was changing; just subtly but it was. "Coming here today was the most terrifying thing he could have done, we both know that. Whatever you think of him you have to admit that this was a brave step."

Jake ran his tongue across his lips which felt very dry suddenly.

"That would depend on his motive for doing it, sir," he said stiffly, all too aware this could be a ruse.

Simon stared back at him, his little hope falling out from under him. He couldn't give up, James needed this break and Simon, for what it was worth, could see the good that it could do everyone else. They were all haunted by The Ghost of Jim Keats Past. Seeing the James of the present, putting that horror behind them, could help them all to move forward.

"What would make you believe me, Jake?" he whispered, expecting the word 'nothing' to fly from Jake's mouth in an instant. To his surprise Jake took his time thinking about his response. He closed his eyes as he weighed up Simon's words. He didn't know the full story about Jim Keats and the history he had with his friends. He did know that this wasn't an easy situation, for anyone. The last thing he wanted was to make it worse.

"Proof," he said quietly eventually.

Simon blinked.

"Proof?" he repeated.

"And I know that to give me proof he needs to be given a chance," Jake hated his admission but he knew that was the only way, "so I will give your friend a chance," he took a deep breath, in danger of his voice wavering, "But," he continued before Simon could start feeling he was off the hook, "there are conditions."

"What conditions?" Simon asked, a little too fast.

"Number one," he said, "I need to ask Robin if this is going to damage him too much."

"I just talked to him," Simon said quickly, "he's fine with it... well," he stopped himself, "he's not fine, but he -"

"I think I'll ask him myself," Jake interrupted, "just to be sure," the look he gave Simon reminded him of Gene on a filing cabinet mission and made him shudder.

"Fine," he said quietly, "that's understandable."

"I care about him," Jake said sternly, "if something hurts Robin, it hurts me. Clear?"

Simon had never seen Jake like this before. He'd rarely seen him stand up for himself, let alone someone else. As much as it unnerved him it made him feel a little better in some ways. Not that Robin needed a second protector with Kim and her piercing kit around but it helped Simon to feel better knowing Robin had so much love on his side.

"Totally clear," Simon said quietly, "and as it should be."

"Second," Jake continued, "if I or anyone else sees any hint of Jim Keats he is out. No questions asked."

"You won't do," Simon said softly. James had won that battle. He knew it with every fibre of his being.

"And third," Jake continued, "you start respecting me." His third catch gave Simon a shock.

"Pardon?" he blinked, not sure he'd heard that right.

"I've had enough of you sneaking glares at me and saying stuff behind my back," Jake told him crossly. He saw Simon open his mouth to protest, "Everyone's seen you, there's no point denying it." He watched Simon close his mouth again, looking suitably ashamed. "I don't understand why you have a problem with me, if it's because I'm a lower rank than you -"

"No," Simon frowned.

"Or because of the misunderstanding just after I started," Jake saw simon hang his head in embarrassment, "or whether you just don't like the colour of my shirt. But it's stupid. I've never shown you anything but respect..."

"Not really doing it right now," Simon couldn't resist pointing out but Jake silenced him with another glare.

"It stops. I just want to get on in my job, have a little fun at night, live my own life. I don't care what problem you think you have with me, I just want you to get over it. Or, at least, hide it."

Simon nodded slowly. If he was honest he had never really known what his problem was with Jake. Maybe he would never work it out. He wasn't going to just get over it – at least not until he worked out what it was – but he was wiling to put it to one side, for James's sake.

"That's a deal," he said quietly.

"Good," Jake seemed to shake a little as though shocked by his own strength. He tried to get himself under control and cleared his throat. "Now , I've got to find Robin."

"He's in the toilet," Simon told him, "well, he was. Don't know if he still is."

"Fine," Jake turned to find his boyfriend but a sudden thought from Simon held him back.

"Jake?"

Jake glanced round.

"What?"

Simon hesitated. He bit his lip and tried to work out how to word things.

"Did... Robin ever tell you anything about some secret?" he asked eventually, feeling bad even bringing it up with someone behind his back.

"A secret?"

"Something he's not told anyone?" Simon asked and Jake gave a confused and somewhat cross laugh.

"If it was a secret he's not told anyone then why would I know?" he asked.

Simon looked down.

"No." he said quietly, "I suppose you're right, you wouldn't."

Jake frowned.

"Is there," he paused, "is anything wrong with Robin?" he asked, worry creeping onto his face.

Simon shook his head.

"Probably nothing," he said quietly. He closed his eyes. "No, I'm just being paranoid. It's nothing." he stared at Jake who was staring back. "Go on, then. Go and find him."

Jake hesitated, then nodded and began to walk away. He was still unsure of both Simon and James but for the sake of peace he was going to give them a chance, as long as Simon had been right about Robin's acceptance. He was usually a man of peace and he didn't want to be at war. He just hoped that his decision wasn't like waving the white flag to the devil.

~xXx~

A/N: I couldn't let today pass me by without updating. It's 6 years ago today that the final episode of Ashes to Ashes aired. The story we'd all been following for the last 3 series – with 2 seasons of LOM before it – had finally reached the end of its journey. Hard to believe so much time has passed since then nor how much has changed. Six years on, the one-shot that I wrote in response to the final episode has turned into a monster – more of a monster than Mr Jim Keats, in fact. And I thank my lucky stars every day that I started writing these fics. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed or messaged me, I've not been able to keep up with messages recently but I will catch up when I can and in the meanwhile I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter from what is a relatively short fic. There are about 5 chapters left, give or take. Happy A2A day, everyone! Your friendship and support is truly appreciated x