Hi, my name is Arthur Kirkland and I am a grumpy detective just like Sherlock Holmes! Bloody hell! Bollocks! I'm the best cook and home destroyer in the world!
Arthur is currently on the phone with one of the head officers, Ludwig, for our ongoing case. He doesn't know I'm writing in his little diary. What a loser.
But did I nail it? Did I sound like Arthur? Ha! It's basically how he sounds to me— always scolding, never having any fun, and seeming to always have a stick up his ass.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. ;) Love you.
I just couldn't resist writing in this— at least once. The temptation from constantly being told to "put that bloody journal down" made me curious!
Arthur, when you read this, I didn't read any of your entries before. Y'know I wouldn't barge into your privacy, which is kind of hypercritical of me to say considering I'm only semi-invading it as I write in your diary.
Anyways, I just wanted to say you're amazing and a wonderful person. Meeting you has been the greatest thing to ever happen in my life and I'm so happy I can call you mine. I love you!
"Wow! Alfred! You're such a corny, sappy boyfriend!" Probably what you'll say when you read this. Lol!
Don't kill me when you see this.
- Alfred Fucking Jones, your rad af partner in (solving) crime.
Below this entry is a badly drawn illustration of Alfred flying in the air with a cape whilst yelling, "Caw Caw Motherfuckers! The hero is on the way!"