It Takes Time

By: Le tired

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or its characters, blah blah blah, etc.

Rated: T for some language and…stuff?

Author's Notes: Sorry, the server wasn't letting me upload this chapter for the longest time. And does anyone know if I decide to write a steamier scene in this fic, do I change the rating of the entire story or just that chapter in particular?

sagitgirlth: Awesome, thank you! This is my first attempt at writing serious romance, so that gives me more confidence!

Kohryu: Haha thank you I'm having fun writing it too!

bandgirlz: Thank you very much for continuing to follow the story!

Writing bunny: Thank you! I take every opportunity I can to throw Gotei 13 in the mix :P

kriitikko: Thanks, gotta love those crazy captains ^_^.

Prince of Winter Dragons: Oh no I wasn't offended or anything, it's always good to hear other people's thoughts on characterization, so I appreciate the feedback, plus I get the opportunity to blab about my story :P. And haha you don't have keep thanking me for responding, it's really a pleasure :). Peace and love!

Chapter 16

Matsumoto loved being drunk. Besides helping her forget all the things that made her feel down, all the good in the world was magnified. Anything even remotely humorous was ten times funnier. The men with her, already fairly good-looking, became insanely attractive. Food was tastier, people were happier and friendlier. The whole world in general just seemed better, if only for one night.

Apparently, the effects of alcohol applied to feelings of love and attraction as well. Matsumoto couldn't stop staring at her short taichou and where his fingers were interlaced tightly with hers, as he led her back towards their division. He'd taken her hand! He'd actually taken her hand without prompting! And he hadn't looked uncomfortable about it at all, he hadn't been forcing himself. In fact, he seemed barely aware of it even now. Perhaps she'd unnerved him too much with all the excitement at the bar to notice.

She reveled in how good and natural it felt. Given their long professional history with one another, Matsumoto wouldn't have been surprised if the two of them continued going places with his command of "Let's move out, Matsumoto," and her "Hai, taichou!" in response, and then the two of them running in military file to their destination. Hitsugaya, after all, had his limits when it came to expressing intimacy, and it was how they'd been communicating for decades, so as unromantic as it was, Matsumoto didn't have a problem with it. Besides, if it later bothered her, she could always pester him into changing.

But he'd done it on his own! Matsumoto would have said something about it, but she couldn't quite keep up with Hitsugaya's pace in her state, and it just seemed weird to converse with his back to her. But this position was pretty good too, since it allowed her a fine view of his back and his neck, which she had an inexplicable desire to press against and nuzzle. He didn't exactly have the physique of the broad-shouldered, muscle-bound stud, but there was something strong and reliable about the way he carried himself, the way reiatsu flowed about him. She'd been picked up and carried out of harm's way by her taichou enough times to know Hitsugaya was plenty powerful. When you took his spiritual strength into account, mere physical bulk seemed quite unimportant. And he had a surprisingly masculine jawline. She also liked the way his Adam's apple jutted out and bobbed when he spoke. It looked especially cute and delectable right now, she very badly wanted to kiss it, lick it, then work her way up to nibble on his earlobe. And then, maybe his eyes would go dark with passion like back in the office, and he'd take her in his arms…

Gosh, I'm so horny right now. Matsumoto giggled to herself, then noticed Hitsugaya looking at her sharply over his shoulder.

"Could you not share such things so openly?"

Oh, she'd said that out loud? Whoops. Matsumoto giggled again. "Sorry taichou, I just haven't been with anyone a long time, and well, a woman as beautiful as me isn't meant to be alone."

Hitsugaya made a face. "You are completely drunk, Matsumoto." He turned to face the front again. They were entering their division's barracks now. Matsumoto was vaguely surprised he knew where her room was, since he'd never come to see her there, as far as she knew. Then again, he'd probably tried to find her there a few times when she skipped work.

"You know, taichou," she continued blithely, "it's your fault for not finishing what you started in the office, anyway."

"Like hell it's my fault," Hitsugaya muttered. "You shouldn't have suddenly grabbed me like that to begin with."

"Hmm, I don't really remember it clearly, but I thought you might have actually made the first move, taichou," Matsumoto teased back. "You were hardly an innocent spectator in that particular event." It felt good to finally discuss what had happened back at the office. It had been such a beautiful moment and a real turning point, she felt, that had been stolen from them by the jigokuchou's untimely appearance. She hadn't gotten to hear what Hitsugaya thought of it all. It made her realize just then that part of her had been really worried he'd declare it a mistake or try to pretend it didn't happen. Or maybe he'd just decide he wasn't attracted to her. You could tell a lot from a first kiss, after all. Luckily, for all his grumblings, it looked like Hitsugaya was fine with it. In fact, his response rather implied she'd had some sort of effect on him.

They stopped at her door. Drat, she'd hoped to stay together longer. Hitsugaya released her hand, which was disappointing, and she began looking for her keys. Despite what she'd suggested back at the bar, Matsumoto knew Hitsugaya had no intention of even stepping inside her quarters. Well, he really did look tired, Matsumoto noted with some concern. It must have been a long captain's meeting, and probably without any real resolution regarding the arrancars.

"Umm, taichou, did the meeting go all right?"

Hitsugaya didn't immediately slip into captain-business mode and share what he'd learned. Instead, he glared at her in that way that meant he'd just remembered something else he wanted to yell at her for. That confused Matsumoto. "Let's not talk about the meeting right now, or I might kill you."

"Oh, okay. That sounds like a good decision. Wise as always, taichou." She quickly ducked inside her room with a nervous laugh. "Good night, taichou!"

She'd left her lights off, and the sudden darkness that engulfed Matsumoto as she entered caught her by surprise. Matsumoto was a naturally gregarious person, and preferred to spend as much time as possible out with her friends. Her little room was just so boring when she was there all by herself. It was so silent and dead inside, it felt like a tomb where she'd be buried with all her darker secrets. With Gin. Matsumoto bit her lip. Just outside the door was a night bright with lantern lights and laughter from the bars. And Hitsugaya-taichou.

He'd surprisingly chased Gin away, Matsumoto realized. After her awful breakdown in Rukongai, Matsumoto had thought no one's love could ever heal her. Gin's hold over her was just too powerful. And no matter how deeply she loved Hitsugaya, she'd loved Gin for much longer. When she thought of Gin, everything else was swept away. Hitsugaya hadn't entered the equation at all in her mind until she ran into Renji and he brought their date up, and Matsumoto knew she should feel guilty about it, but she didn't. If something were to make her feel guilty, in fact, it was the opposite: she feared Gin finding out about Hitsugaya. It was illogical as hell, she knew. Gin had betrayed her and in all likelihood didn't give a damn about who she was with, while Hitsugaya had always stood by her. But that was how things were. Love wasn't blind, but it was definitely masochistic—in Matsumoto's case.

But thinking about Hitsugaya and that kiss had really buoyed her at the bar, and his presence now had given her happiness. True happiness, not the drunken distracted happiness she'd sought with her friends. Hitsugaya didn't distract her from Gin…he actually erased Gin. It was a wonderful realization for Matsumoto. Perhaps her feelings for Hitsugaya could win over the memories of Gin after all.

Too bad it was so late, and Hitsugaya was leaving. Well, he'd done plenty for her already, chasing her down at the bar and walking her home despite his other troubles. A girl couldn't be too greedy. She had to chin up, and just prepare for a night of sorrowful half-dreams and flashbacks. It wasn't like she hadn't done it before.

"Matsumoto?" She was startled to see Hitsugaya was still in her doorway.

"You're still here, taichou?"

He gave her an odd look. "…I was going to go, but you just froze in your steps."

"Eh?" It took her a moment, but then Matsumoto saw she was still rooted to where she'd first stepped into her living room. She quickly forced a smile on her face. "Ahaha sorry taichou, spaced out for a moment. I, uhm, need to get the lights."

She fumbled for the switch. The living room brightened, but that uncomfortable gloomy sensation still hung in the air. Again, Matsumoto couldn't bring herself to move further in. Moouuu, this is why I wanted to drink with everyone! I wouldn't have come back until much later until I was ready to pass out without thinking about all this!

Matsumoto found herself looking back at her captain, conflicted. Surely he could spare a few more minutes with me…no! Stop being such a coward, Matsumoto! This is something you need to face yourself! …but I don't want to be alone…nononono! He doesn't need to deal with your emotional baggage, especially since it was Gin who hurt Momo. Move your feet, Matsumoto! Aaargggghh…

"Matsumoto." She turned at her name, probably more eager than she should have been to be looking away from her room.

"Yes, taichou?"

Hitsugaya sighed. "…do you want to talk inside?"

Matsumoto blinked, afraid to believe her ears. "Taichou…are you saying you want to come in?"

Hitsugaya closed his eyes irritably and rubbed his temples. "It's not a matter of wanting. You look like something's bothering you."

"Taichou…" She almost cried, out of relief and shame. "I'm sorry…but I would appreciate it."

"All right." He entered, and the room immediately seemed to brighten. Matsumoto wanted to hug him. Pleasepleaseplease don't let him leave.

"Do you want tea, taichou? Or anything else to eat or drink?" Matsumoto belatedly remembered there was nothing else to drink in her quarters besides water or more alcohol. And she doubted Hitsugaya would be interested in her random junk food and snacks. Ack.

"No, I'll be going to bed soon." Hitsugaya looked around. Matsumoto was grateful she'd actually cleaned recently, although the place was hardly spotless. At least she hadn't left any lingerie out. Or maybe that would have worked in her favor…

"Oi, Matsumoto, are you listening to me at all?"

"Gah, taichou!" Matsumoto looked back at Hitsugaya, who had his arms crossed and a vein pumping on his forehead. "Err sorry…"

Hitsugaya exhaled loudly. "I was saying, what can I do to help?"

"Oh." She had to think about that for a bit. She really didn't want to drag out her captain's night any longer. I just need to get to sleep before I start thinking about Gin… well, now she had an idea, but would he do it? "Umm, taichou, actually, my major problem is falling asleep…so…if I got in bed, could you keep me company until I fell asleep?"

Hitsugaya looked suspicious. It wasn't hard to guess why. "I'm serious, taichou! I'm not trying to tease you!" If she'd known she was going to request this of him tonight, she wouldn't have acted so perversely. Maybe. …ok probably not. "It's not like you have to get in bed with me or anything! Just…pull up a chair and talk to me." She did her best to look earnest. She had to admit it wasn't a look she practiced often.

It took a few more suspicious looks, but they finally went to her bedroom. Matsumoto flopped and spread out her arms and legs with a sigh of pleasure as she sank into her soft mattress and cool sheets. She was more worn out than she thought. Hitsugaya came and stood by her bedside. Matsumoto looked up at him and for a moment she thought her heart would burst from happiness.

Without thinking, she reached out her hand and looking slightly puzzled, her captain allowed her to take his hand. She brought it up to her face and rubbed her cheek against his hand. His skin was cool as always, and it felt good against her flushed skin. "Thank you, taichou," she murmured, closing her eyes and savoring his touch.

"It's fine." He sounded solemn. "Do you often have trouble sleeping, Matsumoto?"

"Haven't you had plenty of time to observe my sleep in the office during my naps, taichou?" It was a poor deflection.

"I'm serious, Matsumoto."

She sighed and opened her eyes. Hitsugaya looked taller from this vantage point, and older too. She was touched at the heavy concern in his gaze. "It's hard sleeping sometimes, but it's getting better."

"If this is helpful, I…can do it again."

Matsumoto had to smile at the halting way her taichou voiced the offer. She knew he was feeling pretty awkward, but he was trying his best to make her feel better. "You're so brave, taichou."

"What?"

"You have no idea how to comfort a woman at all, do you? But you work so hard at it anyway. That's brave."

He glared daggers down at her. "Maybe you should try expressing your gratitude instead of making fun of me."

"I am expressing my gratitude, taichou!" She laughed and rubbed against his hand again. She was feeling calmer now, maybe even slightly sleepy. "I'll express it better next time, by kissing you again."

"No. No more kissing. We need to talk first."

"Well, we were going to talk, I'm sure, had we gone on the date." She pouted, remembering. "I had it all planned out too. We were going to go to a sushi restaurant, then a bakery, and a bunraku show…"

"I told you, I'll make it up to you."

"How, taichou?" She smiled up at him, excited at the prospect. This was likely the first and last time she'd ever have Hitsugaya-taichou in her debt. "Remember, it has to be super amazing, or it won't do!"

Hitsugaya just gave her a withering look. "You miss a workday almost once every two weeks. Are you going to make those up?"

"Taichoouu, don't bring up such unromantic topics at a time like this. It'll trouble me, and then I won't be able to sleep!"

"Be quiet and go to sleep already!"