After convincing the nurse that he didn't need to stay overnight, Feliciano went home with Ludwig and Gilbert. He would have gone with Ludwig no matter what, but it was a necessity that night. He had another concussion, which meant he would need to be woken up every couple of hours again. It did depress him somewhat that he was used to the procedure.

The entire ride home, dread settled in his stomach. His grandfather had been notified. What would happen next, he had no idea. All he could do now was wait, wait to see how he would react, wait to see if Lovino would be told, wait to see how he would explain himself. Things had finally begun to fall into place, now they were threatening to fall apart again.

As soon as Gilbert parked the car, Ludwig rushed to the side where Feliciano was sitting. He opened the door and extended his hand. "You have been injured. Let me help you inside."

Feliciano actually laughed, still in pain, still not caring. It felt so, so good to laugh. "I have a concussion and some cracked ribs. I'm not dying." Right now, his injuries felt like nothing. There was no physical attack that could hurt him as much as the internal pain he'd been feeling, the pain that had finally lifted.

"No, you are certainly not dying." Ludwig said the words like he was trying to convince himself of them. "Regardless, the least I can do is give you a hand."

"Ludwig, I'm fine!"

"Well, too late," Ludwig said. Feliciano looked at him, confused. He stayed confused until in one swift movement Ludwig effortlessly scoped Feliciano up in a cradling position and began to carry him inside.

Feliciano playfully squirmed in his arms. "Hey! What are you doing?"

Ludwig was almost smiling. "I am only doing what is necessary."

Gilbert groaned. "You guys are so sappy, it's just gross." Though he'd never admit it, Feliciano was sure he hadn't stopped smiling since Ludwig came back. "I'm going to make some food, it's late and I'm hungry. What is it, like, two in the morning?"

Seconds after Gilbert pointed out the time; Feliciano realized exactly how tired he was. On top of the concussion and the cuts and the broken ribs, he had barely been sleeping lately. How could he, with all that was going on? He was looking forward to sleeping again. He stopped squirming and instead rested his head against Ludwig's shoulder. "Tired…"

Ludwig nodded and walked inside. "Let's get you upstairs."

It felt like years had passed since Feliciano had been in Ludwig's bed. It looked like someone, most likely Gilbert, picked up the things that were knocked over in the struggle. That was a relief. But when Feliciano glanced at the dented wall and the closet, he was reminded only of his nightmares. The scars perpetually engrained in the walls of Ludwig's room served as a permanent reminder of what had happened.

"Lay down with me," Feliciano said, burying his face in the pillow, shielding himself from the reminders.

"I need to stay up in order to wake you."

Feliciano pulled on the hem of his shirt. "Please?" He said. "You can set an alarm. It's your first day home; don't you want to sleep in your own bed again? That's what I miss most when I'm away from home!"

Ludwig smiled halfway and nodded. After setting the alarm clock by the bed, he threw the covers back and lay down next to him. "I believe the thing I missed most was sharing it with you."

Feliciano's heart swelled in his chest. The lights having been switched off, he turned to face Ludwig in the darkness. He reached towards him blindly, fumbling around under the blankets until he found his hand. Their fingers intertwined and locked together like they were meant to be that way. "To make sure you don't go anywhere." Feliciano closed his eyes before he finished the sentence.

Ludwig squeezed his hand. "I promised, did I not?"

Only Feliciano didn't have the energy to respond. He sighed against the soft pillow, all his anxieties from the previous months fading away. The misery and physical pain forgotten, he fell asleep with a smile on his face and a tear in his eye.

.

Screaming. Crashing. Feliciano couldn't move. He couldn't think. He couldn't close his eyes. Ludwig's eyes locked on his. Hands around his neck. Blood trickled down the side of his mouth. "Feliciano…run…please…run."

Feliciano's eyes shot open with a great force as he bolted upright. He screamed without realizing it, thrashing around without being in control of his body. For a moment of insanity he expected no one to be there. He thought that Ludwig's homecoming had been the pleasant dream before the nightmare, the calm before the storm. Then the lamp switched on and the room was filled with light that burned his eyes.

Ludwig bolted upright. "Feliciano!"

Feliciano's eyes darted around and he finally realized that he was in Ludwig's room. Reality came rushing back to him; he gripped his hair in his hands and closed his eyes. Silently, he begged his heartbeat to calm down. It had just been another dream, another awful, terrifying dream. "I had a nightmare," he whispered into his hands.

Ludwig held him by the shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes. "This must have been more than just a nightmare."

"No, it really wasn't." Feliciano shook his head. "I had a dream that your dad hurt you again and I…I just…" He couldn't finish. His voice cracked and the tears started rolling helplessly down his cheeks.

He felt Ludwig's arms behind his back as he pulled him close. Feliciano melted into his arms. "Have you had this dream before?"

Feliciano nodded as his tears dried on Ludwig's shoulder. He could see the dream in his head like it was a movie playing on constant repeat, haunting him like a vengeful ghost. "Almost everyday since you left."

Ludwig's back went ridged, and he sighed. He ran his hand through Feliciano's hair. "I had no idea how much it would effect you," he said. Feliciano couldn't see how he would not know, but somehow, he seemed nothing but genuine. "I am so sorry, Feli."

"But you're here now," said Feliciano, partially only to remind himself. He held onto Ludwig like he was holding him together. Part of him believed if he let go, Ludwig would disappear. "You're here now. You're safe."

"Yes. I'm here," said Ludwig. "No one is getting hurt. My father is in prison. He cannot get to me, or to you."

Feliciano exhaled like he had been holding his breath. Ludwig was right. His father was in prison. On top of that, the boys that had made his life hell were in there with him. The bad people were in jail, and Ludwig was with him. Everything and everyone was in their rightful place. He found the strength to smile.

Feliciano suddenly remembered they weren't the only two people in the house. "Did I wake Gilbert up?"

"Believe me, he sleeps like a rock. Once our fire alarm went off and I still had to pull him out of bed."

Feliciano giggled at the thought while Ludwig set the alarm for two hours past the current time, three a.m., and switched off the lamp. "Are you feeling alright?" he asked. He ran his thumb over Feliciano's stitches in the dark. "Do you feel ill?"

"I'm just fine, Ludwig. Everything is okay now." Feliciano shifted his position so his back was to Ludwig's chest. "Can you sing to me again? It was so pretty last time."

"Pretty? I am not a singer, Feli. That was horribly embarrassing." Ludwig said with a touch of humor in his voice.

"But it's just us! Please?"

Ludwig sighed. "I suppose I owe it to you." He took a deep breath before launching, albeit hesitantly into the chorus. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…"

Feliciano hung onto the lyrics of the song and closed his eyes again. He had no idea what his grandfather or his brother was going to say to him, and he had no idea what was going to happen afterwards. Regardless, he had this moment. Right then, that moment was all he had. It would be pitifully foolish to waste it worrying.

.

At ten o'clock the next morning, Feliciano opened his eyes. Despite being woken up by an alarm every two hours, he had managed to get a better night's rest than he had in months. Somehow, he knew somewhere in the back of his cluttered mind that the nightmare he had the previous night would be the last of the sort.

He rolled over to face Ludwig. He was still sleeping and his blonde hair was tousled in his eyes. Still feeling groggy, Feliciano began to mess with his hair. He did so until Ludwig opened his eyes. He took only a moment before he smiled sleepily back at him.

"Good morning, Feliciano."

"Morning, Ludwig!"

Ludwig looked so stunning in the early morning sun. His sleepy smile pulled Feliciano in, beckoning him to kiss the lips that contained it. Then it dawned on him. Ludwig had been gone for three months. It had been three months since he really felt his touch. Before Ludwig could so much as sit up, Feliciano rolled onto him.

Judging by the small twinkle in his eyes, it was clear the same thing had dawned on Ludwig. "We haven't showered or anything." He said halfheartedly; eyes wide and locked on Feliciano.

"You think I care?" said Feliciano. He rolled his hips as he spoke, teasing him. "It's been three months! That's like, forever!"

Ludwig grinned, understanding instantly. Within seconds Feliciano felt his lips graze his neck. A shudder shot down his spine and sent warmth throughout his body. It felt like a lifetime had passed since he had felt anything like this, since he had wanted to.

Ludwig held him around to waist, careful not to press against his battered sides as he pulled him down closer. Feliciano pressed his hands against his chest, exploring the differences in his form. His weight loss was apparent, but it didn't make him any less beautiful. It wasn't until Ludwig pulled Feliciano's shirt over his head that he stopped, frozen in place. His eyes were suddenly open and filled with shock. Feliciano pulled back. He didn't understand until he looked down at himself.

"Gott, Feliciano." Ludwig's voice broke as he said his name. His hand graced his sides, barely touching his skin like he was afraid to. Feliciano's sides were bruised from his breastbone to his hips, a purple and yellow watercolor painting of the worst kind. His skin was scraped almost everywhere.

"It's okay." Feliciano whispered. He wrapped his arms around his upper body to cover himself. He winced but smiled regardless. He was terrified to ruin the moment he'd waited months for.

Ludwig broke eye contact, his gaze fixed on Feliciano's tortured body. "No, no it isn't." He shook his head and took Feliciano's hands in his; one of the only places Feliciano wasn't wounded. "Why would anyone do such a thing to you?"

"It's over now, Ludwig." Feliciano said; his upper body now exposed. He didn't want to talk about his injuries or the people who did it to him. They had no place here, only he and Ludwig belonged. He cupped Ludwig's cheek in his hand, moving the other to his thigh. He smiled as Ludwig bit back a gasp. "Forget about all that now."

It was so strange how much things could change in three months. That wonderful, star-crossed night on Feliciano's birthday was something completely different compared to this. This time, Ludwig held onto him like Feliciano would shatter like glass. Feliciano lowered himself onto Ludwig, steadying himself by wrapping his arms around his neck. He arched his back at the sensation, a small groan escaping his lips. It was different. It was a just another type of amazing.

"I've missed you so much." He said, sighing heavily as Ludwig guided his hips in a rocking motion.

"I have missed you too." Ludwig said. His words were cut short when Feliciano paused to leave a mark on the nape of his neck. "Ah…so much." He continued.

Distance really does make the heart grow fonder, that's what Feliciano learned that morning. His heart swelled with love rather than lust as their bodies moved in sync and they looked into each other's eyes in a flustered haze. He wanted it to last forever, but it felt like it was only minutes. It was over almost a second after Ludwig's hand traveled from his inner thigh to what was between them. Moments later Ludwig groaned, pulling him down one final time.

Feliciano embraced him and laid his head on his chest. "I love you, Ludwig."

Ludwig ran his hand gently down the curve of Feliciano's back, carefully as to not to cause him any pain. "I love you too, Feliciano."

.

After they showered and dressed, they were sitting on Ludwig's bed. Everything was perfect, quiet and in place when Feliciano's phone rang, shattering it. He picked it up and looked at Ludwig as if to ask for answers. He had forgotten about this. Ludwig only nodded. "Everything will be fine, Feliciano."

Feliciano nodded back as he brought his shaking hand that contained the phone to his ear. He pressed the answer button with his thumb as his heart beat wildly in his chest. "Pronto." He was tempted to hold his breath as he waited for a response.

The voice that answered was rushed, frantic. "Feliciano." He recognized the voice immediately as Lovino's. Feliciano wasn't sure if this was better or worse than if his grandfather would have called.

"Oh, hi Lovino." Feliciano made a monumental effort to keep his voice calm. "Uh, how's it going?"

"I think you're well aware of what this is about." Lovino's voice rose as he spoke. "Grandpa called me this morning. He told me the hospital called? You better explain what's going on here, and you better do it quick. I know something has been going on, Feliciano! I've known that for a long time!"

Fear rose in Feliciano's chest. "Why isn't grandpa calling, then?" His voice was small. "If you would just calm down…"

Lovino didn't hesitate to cut him off. "Don't tell me to calm down! Grandpa told me that he thought I'd have better luck getting through to you. God knows how true that is." He said; his voice filled to the brim with sarcasm. "Now tell me why the hell you were in the hospital."

"I would just tell him, Feli," muttered Ludwig.

Feliciano felt his chest tighten and the air being squeezed from his lungs. He didn't want to do this over the phone. "Lovino, I…"

"Tell me, goddammit!" Lovino was never a patient person. "I'm your brother, for god's sakes! What ever happened to telling me everything?"

Feliciano took a deep breath. Telling him everything, right. He'd always been open with his brother, but he had never told him everything. All of these years and he was still fairly certain he had no idea about his situation at school. Thinking about this angered Feliciano. Sure, he'd done his best to hide it, but part of him had at least hoped that Lovino would eventually take notice.

He finally reached his boiling point. "I was jumped, Lovino! Okay? I went out at night to go to the store and I was attacked!"

There was a moment of deafening silence on the other line. "What?" His voice sounded like it should be a scream, but he was keeping it down to a whisper. "Feliciano, what the hell were you doing walking around at night?"

"It's not like it would have mattered if it was broad daylight, Lovino! You really don't get it, do you?" Feliciano nearly shouted it, but could not quite raise his voice over the lump in his throat. He couldn't stop himself now. Everything he'd wanted to say for years was coming out at once.

"Wait, what?" said Lovino. "What are you talking about?"

He did not know. Of course he did not know. "People hate me!" Feliciano took a shuttering breath as it all came rushing back. He swore he could almost feel every injury ever inflicted on him at once. "They all hate me! They always have!" But why did they? Why, why, why… Ludwig put his hands on his shoulders, and Feliciano felt the beginnings of panic fade into sheer dejection. It was almost a relief. "But you never noticed. You never even came close…"

"Feliciano, I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Of course you don't!" Feliciano couldn't stop himself. "Ever since I was a kid, Lovino, ever since I was a kid people have been making my life miserable, but no one noticed. How did no one notice?" The crying was distorting his voice. Feliciano felt like he was drowning.

"Wait. Wait a minute," Lovino said. "You're telling me this has happened before? Why didn't you tell me?"

Finally, it had clicked. "Because I didn't want you to see me as your helpless baby brother, I-"

Lovino's voice picked up again. "How long has thing been going on?"

"I just told you! Since I was a kid!"

Feliciano heard his brother exhale sharply on the other line. "Feliciano, I need you to tell me exactly what's happening." It sounded like Lovino was straining not to shout. "And when I say everything, I mean it."

"It happens everyday, Lovino," he said. "I don't know why they hate me. I don't know why they call me names and shove me and hit me but they do it anyways and they never stop." Memories hit Feliciano like fists. He saw Ludwig close his eyes beside him, looking pained.

"And you're telling me these same people jumped you?" Lovino sounded more incredulous than anything. "Feliciano, do you have any idea how serious this is? How badly were you hurt?"

"I don't know." He muttered. "I blacked out. All they told me is I have a concussion, and-"

"What?" Now Lovino really was shouting. "Why the hell is this the first I'm hearing about this? Grandpa is going to murder me! Feliciano, you could be dead right now! Do you realize that?"

Feliciano glanced at Ludwig. "Well, someone stopped them." He switched the phone to his other ear, freeing his hand so he could hold onto Ludwig's. "That's the other thing, actually." His last sentence bordered on inaudible.

Lovino continued speaking like he didn't even hear him. "No, Feliciano, stop. I don't want to hear it." He sighed again. "I knew you weren't old enough to live alone. And this? This is just too much."

Feliciano felt a sudden wave of lightheadedness hit him like a tsunami. "Lovino, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying it's done, Feliciano. Look, I can't deal with all of this right now. I'm going to be late to class. This weekend, I'm driving over there. I'll help you get all your shit together, put you on a plane and get you back to Italy to live with grandpa. We'll make accommodations."

The room around him didn't exist anymore. It was Wednesday; the weekend was a mere two days away. Feliciano stopped breathing as his brother's words faded out. No, everything was finally starting to be okay! School was out for the summer; Ludwig was back- things were starting to look up. How could it all be ripped out from under him so quickly? He looked at Ludwig with panic in his eyes. His breathing quickened and Ludwig only looked at him, confused. His heartbeat sped up to a painful pace. Feliciano opened his mouth to speak only to have nothing come out.

"Feliciano, say something." Lovino snapped.

"Are you crazy?" said Feliciano finally. "You can't just send me back all of a sudden like this! Please, Lovino!"

"Don't argue! I'm only doing my job as your brother, alright? Why the hell would you want to stay there anyway?"

Because everything he had was there. Everything he had was sitting right next to him, holding his hand in a death grip. Even if he never had to face a bully again, none of it would be worth it if he lost Ludwig in the process. "Lovino," he whispered. "I don't think you understand, if you would only let me explain, I-"

"Start packing." Lovino sounded flat, final. Before Feliciano could think of one word to say back, to make this better, the line went dead.

Feliciano let the phone slip out of his hand and allowed it to fall onto the bedspread. His head pounded mercilessly into his ears. Before he was even aware of it, a low moan escaped his lips. It sounded like he was dying, just like he was on the inside.

"What did he say?" asked Ludwig.

Feliciano dropped his head in his hands. "He said I have to go back to Italy. He's coming this weekend." He said it partially to try and convince himself it was true. He felt numb, disbelieving. "It just isn't fair, Ludwig! Everything was finally going okay and before we even had twenty-four hours together everything is ruined! Why does everything always have to fall apart?" Feliciano couldn't speak anymore. It was too much.

Ludwig went ridged. "Oh." He stared blankly at the wall for a long moment and finally shook his head. "Don't worry, Feliciano. He is just mad right now. I doubt he is actually going to uproot your life like that."

"I don't know." Feliciano had to fight for words through the panic swelling his chest. "Mio dio, I have no idea! If he tells grandpa…" He closed his eyes. Feliciano could only imagine what might happen.

"I will speak with him," said Ludwig suddenly. "When your brother arrives, I will help you convince him otherwise."

"Lovino is so stubborn," said Feliciano. "I don't know if that's going to work. Plus, I'm going to have to tell him about us! Who knows how that's going to go over? What if I can't ever see you again? What if-"

Ludwig held out his hand. "That will not happen. I can assure you of that."

Feliciano clung to him, hoping and praying that he was right. Everything had just gotten back on track. He wouldn't allow his life to be derailed again; it would kill him. The last thing he wanted was to go back to that limbo where he was alive but not really living. He couldn't be so lonely again. That pain was worse than anything some bully could do to him.

.

The next two days passed in a flurry. Feliciano felt like he was getting to know, and in turn falling in love, with Ludwig all over again. At the same time, it felt like he was getting ready to say goodbye. Everything he did with Ludwig felt like the last of something. The last time they would sleep in the same bed. The last time Ludwig sang to him. The last time everything would feel so in place. No one knew what Saturday would bring or what would come after it, and that terrified Feliciano.

Early Saturday morning, hours before Lovino was supposed to arrive, Feliciano was standing in his living room with Ludwig. "I don't know Ludwig, should I have packed?" He said, looking around at the house he hadn't touched.

Ludwig shook his head. "Only pack if you are planning to leave."

Feliciano sighed. He felt as if he was preparing for the apocalypse, like at any moment his entire life would be pulled out from under him. Anxiety had taken a permanent residence in his brain, an uneasiness that tore him apart at every opportunity. Lovino wouldn't understand. He would make him go back to Italy without a second thought. No, maybe he would understand. Maybe he would forget the whole thing and allow Feliciano to stay in America. It was a constant back and forth that never got him anywhere.

Feliciano stared at Ludwig and tried to memorize every last detail of his face. Ludwig had told him that there was no way they wouldn't see each other again, but he couldn't help but worry about the possibility. To be in another country than him, sitting around all day wondering what could have been if he hadn't left…it was the worst thing Feliciano could imagine.

"Hey, Ludwig?" he said. "Can we sit down for awhile? Before my brother comes?"

Ludwig arched an eyebrow and looked at Feliciano suspiciously. "Yes, of course," he said. "Is something wrong?"

Feliciano shook his head and stepped around Ludwig, making his way to the couch. When Ludwig joined him, Feliciano balled his hands on top of his legs and stared at them like they held the answers to the universe. Ludwig only stared at him inquisitively. Surely he wasn't used to the little Italian being so quiet. He usually held the enthusiasm of an active firework. "Feliciano, you're acting strange."

Feliciano inhaled sharply. Yes, he was acting strange. That was because he had been planning this moment out for the past two days, writing and rewriting every detail somewhere in the back of his cluttered mind. "I just had something to tell you, that's all!" Feliciano tried to laugh, but it ended up sounding cheap and unnatural. It wasn't long before his smile dropped. He couldn't keep up the act anymore. "There are just a few things I wanted to say."

"You are acting like you're preparing to die." Ludwig's eyes narrowed slightly. It wasn't hard to see the flicker of concern that flashed through them.

Feliciano's chest lurched at the thought of death. That was the last thing he wanted to bring into this. "No! Nothing like that!" The sudden thought caused him to forget his entire internalized script. "I just wanted to thank you! Okay?" Feliciano sighed. This wasn't going at all how he had planned it. It never did.

"Thank me?" Ludwig parroted. "I'm not sure I follow."

Feliciano sighed dramatically as he came to the conclusion that he was, once again, failing to communicate. Giving up on having any tact to speak of, he gripped Ludwig's hands, took a deep breath and opened the floodgates. "Look I know you told me that there's no way we're not going to see each other again and I believe you! But when Lovino comes I don't know what's going to happen and I'm scared everything is going to fall apart again!" He had to take breath after his long, rambling sentences before he could continue. "I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I'm happy I met you. Just in case." As he finished, tears began to form in his eyes and ice cold sadness rested in his gut.

He opened his eyes when he felt Ludwig's hand resting in his hair. "After all that has happened, do you think I would let such a silly thing ruin it all?" he said, the corner of his mouth inching into a slight grin.

"But Italy is so far away!" Feliciano certainly didn't see such a huge distance as a silly thing. After all, that was a lot of miles.

"Feliciano," said Ludwig firmly. "I don't care if you were forced to live in an igloo in Antarctica. If that were to happen, you better believe I would grab my bobsled and my overcoat and go mushing through the snow in order to find you without a second thought."

Feliciano laughed genuinely this time. The tension shattered into a million pieces as he envisioned the ridiculous image. "Do you really own a bobsled?"

Ludwig shook his head, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "No, I do not, but my point stands. Do you understand now, Feliciano?"

Feliciano had never understood something more clearly in his life. He nodded his head and smiled, finally able to feel some sense of comfort and stability. He reached out and hugged Ludwig. Now, he was fully prepared for whatever would happen. Italy was far away, that was true. In the end, however, distance could only do so much.

To be continued...