WOOT! WE'VE REACHED A HUNDRED REVIEWS! *confetti, stars, and streamers whirl around your computer monitor; author hands you a glass of cyber champagne* Thanks guys! In light of this epic and awesome occasion, I'm kicking my own ass and updating NOW, before I get distracted by the upcoming holiday tomorrow (happy Yom Kippur everybody and anybody who cares!).

Extra special thanks to my beta extraordinaire, Uchiha.S, who edited my chapter and made me laugh hysterically at my own mistakes. Seriously, I couldn't have come this far without ya:)

Last note: in terms of the progression of the story, things are slowly but surely heating up! There will be a gradual build up over the next few chapters, but expect some real excitement by chapter 14ish. I swear, there's a lot of action in this fic...it's going to happen! I just like to have a real slow build-up...let me know how you like that (or not!) in your reviews: it will help me to be a better writer:)

Ok, enjoy everyone! And thanks so much for everything! :)

Chapter 10

Agoraphobia

"She paused a while, lost in thought,

Gathering a bouquet of Forget-Me-Nots,

And while her questions she refrained to pose

I picked and proffered to her a red wild rose..."

~The Second Book of Akash, Verse X

Sasuke massaged his stiff shoulders as he entered the Hokage's office. Between being escorted by the ever inquisitive Yuki to the tower, and the terrible aches in his shoulders from carrying said troll the night before, he was in a less-than-stellar-mood. No one could accuse Sasuke of being a morning person.

He thought back to the awkward conversation he had just 'enjoyed' with his oldest, who had 'kindly' dropped her father off here at the Hokage Tower just moments ago:

"Otousan, who gave you your summoning contract?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Why do you care?"

As if she was slightly apprehensive, Yuki ventured slowly, "Well, by the time you graduated the academy...there was no one around to give it to you."

Sasuke couldn't get shit past this one. With a slight cough, he replied, "Itachi had me sign it about a year before I graduated. He said it was an early birthday present. It was a few months before..."

Yuki looked at him piercingly. "I see. I can understand why you didn't use the cat summons often then."

Sasuke exhaled slowly, as if he were a deflating balloon with a tiny puncture wound: it seemed like this would be a good time to have the rest of 'The Talk' with Yuki, before he lost his nerve. "About Itachi..." Sasuke began slowly, searching for the right words. He stopped walking and put a hand on Yuki's shoulder before continuing, "He wanted me to kill him. But I wish that I hadn't..." He winced at his own maladroit phrasing and hoped that Yuki could understand him.

He could feel Yuki's arm stiffen. After a moment though, she relaxed and replied in a susurrant tone, "He wanted you to kill him because of what he'd done to the clan." The young girl nodded gravely, and in a rare display of affection, rested her head on her father's shoulder. "I'm sorry otousan." After a short pause, Yuki stood up straight once again and looked at her father quizzically before continuing, "But why don't they just teach the truth at the academy? Why didn't you tell us the truth, at the very least?"

Sirens started going off in Sasuke's head; mentally, he could picture Itachi, the way he touched Sasuke on his forehead, rearranging Sasuke's optical nerves before trailing long, bloody fingers down the side of Sasuke's face—just before his brother smiled, whispered, and died. Sasuke fought to maintain his cool composure, while on the inside he could feel manic laughter bubbling up in his grieving lungs. Such madness lay underneath Yuki's seemingly innocent questions.

"Because," Sasuke replied, his voice holding just a twinge of unevenness, "the Hokage, your mother, and I all agreed it was better for you to learn about it...when you were older." Before you realized that the name of the Uchiha are written in blood and lived in vain, Sasuke thought grimly.

"And Saki...?"

Sasuke shook his head at the implied question. "Please keep this information to yourself for now. I'll tell Saki when it's time for her to learn," he murmured in a warning tone. A faint morning breeze blew; its cool fingers twined around Sasuke's scarf, the one he tied around his eyes to block out the light. He could feel the ends moving gently in the wind, and he perceived a slight tautness in the fabric covering his broken eyes. No, not his eyes...Itachi's eyes, the ones he stole from his brother's clay cold corpse to achieve his so-called eternal mangekyo.

Please, Sasuke thought, please don't ask any more questions Yuki-chan.

Yuki nodded slowly. "Thank you for telling me the truth, otousan." She looked at him expectantly, and Sasuke realized that they had been standing stock still in the street for some time; he began walking again, closely followed by his eldest daughter, as they continued their journey through town.

"You're welcome, Yuki." Sasuke delicately searched her face with his sensory technique, but he could detect nothing from her smooth features.

Did she really believe him, that what he had said was the entirety of the previously withheld information?

For a moment, Sasuke half-convinced himself that he was in the clear; but as the pair walked on in the cool silence of early morning, Sasuke realized that this was Yuki he was dealing with. He may have won the battle, but he was sure that he hadn't won the proverbial war.

How long could he keep the truth about the Uchiha clan— about the mangekyo sharingan— from his overly-astute daughter?

Sasuke was so drawn into his pensive musings that as he walked through the hallways of the Hokage tower, he didn't notice a certain, overly cheerful blond just ahead.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun, just the man I wanted to see!" Naruto, beaming like the morning sun itself, rounded the corner and clapped Sasuke on the back. Sasuke, forced out of his thoughts, winced; he didn't know what hurt more, the chipper attitude or the slap on his already strained shoulder muscles.

"Hn," Sasuke retorted as he plopped himself down in a chair in Naruto's office. "What is it you wanted to discuss?"

"I have a mission for you!" Naruto grinned as he slammed the office door closed behind them.

Sasuke was silent for a moment before replying with incredulity, "A what now?"

"Um. A mission. You know, those things that ninja do."

"Right. Except that I'm not a ninja anymore. Idiot." Sasuke, despite his blindness, could tell that Naruto was grinning from ear to ear, which served to further irritate the Uchiha.

"Ok, let me start from the beginning, and when I get to the end, I'll stop. Basically, I need an undercover agent to go to Akash who isn't registered as a ninja— that's to increase the stealth factor, by the way, it's totally genius of me!— to do some basic reconnaissance. And you're perfect because—"

"No."

Naruto blithely continued, "You're perfect because you have a lot of familiarity with Madara. You're the only one who can confirm or deconfirm these rumors."

"The word is disconfirm. Idiot. And the answer. Is no," the Uchiha ground out. But Sasuke, despite his indifferent exterior, was as tumultuous as a maelstrom inside. What the fuck! Are Sakura and Naruto in cahoots or something! Fuck! Of course they're in cahoots! They're always in cahoots! What the—

Naruto broke into his thoughts once more as he loudly countered, "Sasuke. You totally have to. You're the only one who can do it! The only one! I need someone with an inside understanding of the Big Bad Uchiha to gather intel. You're going."

"Like hell I am!" Sasuke rose from his chair with a start, and then delivered an angry kick to the piece of furniture: it shattered into pieces with the sickening thwack of his foot.

Naruto sighed; he briefly considered playing the 'I'm the Hokage and if I fucking order you do to something you'll do it' card, but decided against it. Sasuke was a stubborn bastard, and Naruto knew that he didn't like being goaded into things that weren't his idea in the first place. It was time to lay on the guilt. Naruto lowered his voice and murmured, "Think about your kids, Sasuke. If Madara really is back, they'll be the first to be targeted. That guy has an undying vendetta against the Uchiha, and he'll aim for the most vulnerable first..."

Sasuke's anger seemed to instantly deflate at that, and was replaced instead by a sick, plumbean feeling in his stomach. In order to mask his newfound anxiety, the Uchiha retorted, "Thank you, Professor Obvious. Now the ulcer in my stomach lining will go away for sure." Damn it all, Sasuke mentally moaned. These were the very same ideas that had been torturing Sasuke in his thoughts recently, and it did not put his mind at ease that Naruto was using it as leverage to make him go on a mission, of all things. Furthermore, Sasuke was certain that it was not coincidence that he was having this conversation with Naruto the morning after Sakura had been goading him to reenlist. They've probably been plotting to get me back on the roster for months, just waiting for the right opportunity to force me into it...

Naruto continued, ignoring Sasuke's snarky reply, "And then there's the village to think about. Isn't it time you finally repaid your debt to society?"

This sentiment was extremely reminiscent of what Sakura had said to him last night. And that would be my second Achilles' heel, Sasuke mused sardonically; he felt truly overwhelmed at that moment, so he responded as any reasonable person might. "Fuck me." Sasuke sat in another chair, moaned, and held his head in his hands.

"Um... I'd rather not," Naruto dryly replied.

"It's a figure of speech. Moron. Gross. Anyway. The answer is no. I can't go on missions if I'm on house arrest..." It was a weak argument and both Naruto and Sasuke knew it; the former had been steadily threatening to revoke Sasuke's house arrest for years now, and Sasuke knew he had the power to do it anytime he wanted, whether or not Sasuke agreed.

"You are hereby no longer on house arrest. I signed all the official paperwork already. Your village needs you, Sasuke. It's time you paid back Konoha by being a ninja again, and not by being a prisoner. Please tell me you'll go!"

Tch. Seems like the idiot has already assumed that I'll do it. Sasuke grimaced. "If I decide to do this...what's my cover?"

Naruto grinned, as it seemed like he was winning the battle. "You're a traveling musician playing for tips on the street and beer in the bars. No one has seen you outside this village in over a decade, and without your tell-tale sharingan, I don't think anyone will recognize you."

"I'm not using sound jutsu."

"You don't have to use any jutsu: this is a totally nonviolent mission. Just play some music and keep your eyes...um, I mean your ears open. So, you'll agree?"

Sasuke scratched the back of his head. "On one condition."

Naruto, ecstatic at hearing this, loudly proclaimed, "All right! For sure, whatever you want!"

"Put the death seal on me."

Naruto blanched. "Sasuke—"

"In fact, put an ANBU tracking seal on me, so that anyone in this village can track me, as well as the death seal."

"Sasuke—"

"Give me the seals or I'm not going." The Uchiha crossed his arms; if he hadn't been blind, he would have been glaring at the Hokage.

"What the fuck Sasuke!" Naruto, who was at this point thoroughly confused, continued to scream, "I'm not putting the death seal on you! For fuck's sake, get a hold of yourself, man!" The aforementioned seal was a jutsu that Naruto had recently learned from his father's old journals; many an unfortunate hamster had been the victim of learning this particularly nasty seal, which would kill the recipient instantly at the discretion of the caster if and when they chose to activate it. It was something the Uzumaki had been developing to use on prisoners recently released on parole to ensure good behavior upon their reentry into society.

Sasuke, in light of Naruto's loud voice, merely cocked his head to the side. "No seal. No deal."

"Sasuke! You! You just wait right there!" Naruto called in the voice of a stern teacher. There was a faint whizzing sound, which Sasuke assumed was the result of the hiraishin. Where the heck did the moron just go? Sasuke didn't have to wait long, for a few moments later Naruto returned with Sakura in tow. Sasuke refrained from smacking himself or from destroying more pieces of furniture, but it was very, very hard.

"SASUKE!"

"Sakura-chan," he replied evenly.

"What the hell Sasuke-kun! You will not, you hear me, you will NOT have a fucking death seal put on your body, or so help me Kami, I'll kill you myself!" Sakura cracked her knuckles menacingly.

"Um...Sakura? I don't think that'll help..." Naruto ventured, but he was outright ignored by his pink-headed teammate.

"Think about our kids! Think about me! You can't just walk around with a fucking death seal!" Sakura ended her speech in a huff and glared down at her seated husband. In a quieter tone, she continued, "Sasuke. We've already talked about this. You know you should do this mission: you're the only one who can do this mission. Naruto and I are asking you to stop being such a big baby about this..." She trailed off, uncertain of the impact of her words.

Sasuke inhaled slowly. "Why do you two sound like my parents?"

"Parents usually ground their kids—we're trying to finally unground you!" Naruto broke in, laughing uneasily.

Unground me indeed... Nothing could have been a more apt description of how Sasuke felt just then, as if the ground had been pulled out from under his feet, and he was lurching, falling slowly in suspended time.

"Please Sasuke. Do this for us. For the village. For the kids," Sakura whispered softly; each sentence was like a nail in his coffin.

How could he say no? After all the shit he had put Sakura and Naruto through... But now they were asking him to undo everything he believed in about duty, about service: about his own feelings of safety. Sakura's words echoed through his mind: "For the kids..." He remembered the day when Shikamaru had first shared his musings on Madara's return; they were standing outside of the Uchiha residence while their children were playing in the living room, their childish voices echoing outside in innocent laughter. Sasuke would give his life to protect the children of this village, his children: Yuki, Saki, and little Takeo. Not to mention his future children, which, if he sucked it up and went on this journey, would be more likely to be born.

Maybe his hope for the future could finally outweigh the trauma of the past?

"Sasuke? Will you do it...?" Naruto asked after the pregnant pause.

"Fine. Just the ANBU tracking seal then. Do we have a deal?"

Naruto sighed in relief and looked at Sakura, who silently nodded her approval. "All right, all right, you paranoid bastard. I'll put that seal on you, and then you'll need to get your things packed: you're leaving this afternoon."

"This afternoon?" Sasuke asked, surprise and disbelief etched in his voice.

"You'll be fine, you tough old bastard!" Naruto laughed and clapped the Uchiha on the shoulder, making the latter wince in pain. "Besides, we'll need you to move out while the trail is still fresh. We need that data as soon as possible! Now, let's get started on that seal..." Naruto rolled up Sasuke's sleeve and began channeling chakra into his shoulder: it felt extremely unpleasant, like an inmate who was trying to give a fellow prisoner a tattoo via a rusty needle and a ball-point pen.

But Sasuke was too distracted by his own thoughts to fully notice the sensations of discomfort, or the banter of his two former teammates over his head. Because for the first time in his life, Sasuke was feeling extremely agoraphobic.

a/n

Note: no hamsters were harmed in the making of this fic:) lol!

Things are going to be a wee bit crazy these next few weeks: I'll try my best to update in a week's time, but it might take me two weeks to get the next chapter up. Thanks for being patient with me!

Last note: I really feel like I've improved my writing so much through this fic. It's all thanks to your reviews, which give me the feedback I need to continue to improve my creative writing skills. So please tell me: What are you enjoying in this fic? What do you want to see more of? Your comments are extremely helpful, and I truly take them to heart:) Thanks so much!