Chapter 8

"Is she still not back?"

Simon almost fell out of Kim's chair as the voice caught him unawares. He'd been spinning round and round, hoping that Kim would reappear but the room had been eerily silent, with the occasional exception when her DC stapled his finger to some paperwork and screeched somewhat more loudly than Simon would have liked.

"No," he sighed, sinking back a little into the chair.

"How long have you been waiting?" Alex asked.

"Probably since you left," Simon said somewhat awkward.

"I thought you were going to look for -" Alex hesitated. There was a moment of panic as she almost used the wrong name for their new recruit but finally she wrestled out the right one, "- James," she concluded and Simon blushed, looking a little guilty.

"I... was," he said, "I keep putting it off."

"Some boss you are," Alex commented, stepping closer to the desk between them.

"It's not teaching him my filing system that I'm afraid of," simon said awkwardly in a way that was very reminiscent of Gene. Very occasionally Alex could really see the resemblance between them and this was one of those times.

"It should be," she told him, "I've seen how much paper you've got stashed under your desk and how little you have in your filing cabinet. Heaven help your new team." She sat down in a spare chair and joined Simon in spinning. "Why is Kim's furniture so much more comfortable than mine?!"

"Because she's scary," Simon shrugged and Alex nodded. She'd have given Kim the bigger furniture budget too. It wasn't worth losing a limb over.

"Yup," she agreed, "I can't argue with that." she spun around to face Simon again. "So what are you afraid of?" she asked.

"Same as before," Simon admitted, "except worse, because more time has passed. So now he'll hate me even more."

"He's not going to hate you," Alex sighed, "he's probably hiding under a table somewhere, waiting for you to go and rescue him."

"Alex!"

"He looked terrified," Alex reminded him.

"I don't think he's going to hide under a table, even so," Simon sighed, but he couldn't disagree with Alex's statement. He had looked so scared. Simon's guilt was rising fast. "Shit. I've failed him. Totally."

"I wouldn't say that."

"Shit!" Simon almost fell off his chair for a second time as a new voice caught him off-guard and Alex spun around in shock at the same time.

"Kim?" She gasped slightly as she spoke, surprised by her sudden appearance.

"Kim, god, are you alright?" Simon scrambled up, somewhat confused to see Kim looking calm and relaxed, as though it was a normal day just like any other. She looked at him incredulously as she moved through the office toward him.

"I was until some twat sat in my chair and left footprints all over my desk," she admonished, shoving Simon's feet back down to the floor and pointing in the direction of the door. "Out."

"Kim," Alex reached out and just about caught Kim's hand gently. She watched her turning around and tried to study her expression as carefully as she could. Catching Kim's eye, she asked softly, "Are you OK? Really?"

Kim hesitated. Her mind went back through the events of the morning so far and all the flashbacks that Keats's presence had caused before she managed to sort through her own confusion.

"Yeah," she exhaled hard as she spoke, "Yeah, I am. Truly," she added as Alex looked at her a little doubtfully.

"Its OK not to be," Alex said quietly.

Kim nodded very slowly.

"I'm OK," she repeated, "really. Just," she gave Simon another shove and this time he actually stood up, clearing the path for Kim to take a seat, "wondering why there's a mini-meeting going on in my office without me."

"We were worried about you," Simon told her, sounding more than a bit whiny.

"We were," Alex nodded, "you've been gone a while."

"That's because I've been doing," she turned to glare at Simon, "your job."

"What are you on about?" Simon asked, dusting himself down as though he'd been in a boxing match.

Kim sank back in her chair and plonked her legs up on the desk, one clunky boot after the other. She slowly unzipped one and slipped it off, rubbing her ankle.

"God, my legs are bloody swelling up already," she moaned, wriggling her toes as she rubbed her calf then slipped one hand down to her bare foot. Alex stared at Kim's bare sole and asked,

"Where have you been? On a sponsored walk?"

"Feels like it," Kim moaned, unzipping her other boot and tugging it off. She set her footwear on the ground with a thud and rubbed both ankles simultaneously. She wriggled her toes, glad to be free of her heavy boots for once and sighed.

"Right, you," she jabbed a finger in the air towards Simon, "go. You've got work to do."

"I need to find James first," Simon began guiltily and Kim glared at him.

"That's the work I'm talking about," she said, "do better."

"What?"

"You're failing the boyfriend test," Kim told him, "go to your office and make amends."

Simon hesitated. He felt confused and wasn't sure what was happening. One thing at a time.

"But Kim," he began, "I wanted to talk to you. I felt like..." he trailed off. He wasn't even sure what the end of that sentence was. "Kim -"

Kim shook her head.

"Simon," she said quietly, "we're good. Just go and talk to him."

Simon's heart started to race and thump inside his chest. The thought of going to talk to James was making his pulse rate rocket. Part of it was anxiety topped off with a sprinkling of guilt, but mostly it was the thought of just being with him again. He'd spent so much time worrying about James being angry with him that he'd lost sight of what was important.

Just being together.

"Right," he said quietly. He stumbled backward a little, making his way to the door. "But, Kim, if there's anything -"

"Simon," Kim's tone sounded a little more aggravated, "go."

Simon's fear rose again, but this time it wasn't James's anger he was worried about.

"Right," he said again, "I'll go. Back to work then," He looked at her as he stumbled toward the door and hesitated He clutched the door frame as he turned back to her and asked. "So, you've seen him? Have you talked to him?"

"Yes, and yes," Kim sighed as she rubbed her aching soles, "You're the one who needs to talk to him. Go."

Simon bit his lip.

"Is he OK?"

Kim looked at him seriously.

"Yes," she said, "James is fine."

To hear someone else say James's name – his real name – sent a shiver of excitement through Simon's body and he felt himself starting to smile involuntarily.

"Right," he said.

"Stop saying right and go," Kim commanded.

"Right," simon said again, then froze for a moment. "Sorry."

Kim watched as he finally left and rolled her eyes.

"At last," she sighed, putting her hands to her forehead and rubbing it, "God, he'd an idiot."

Alex smiled and wheeled herself closer to Kim. She reached out and wrapped her fingers around Kim's achy feet and pressed her thumbs firmly against her soles which she began to massage. Kim was taken by surprise and let out a moan of contentment.

"Ohhh, thank you so much," she breathed, "that feels good."

"Sounds like you've been on an expedition," Alex pointed out and noted that Kim looked slightly guilty.

"Kind of," she admitted.

"So where have you been?" Alex asked, squeezing Kim's feet as she spoke, "I've been coming back to find you every few minutes."

"I'm sorry," Kim said quietly, "I needed some space. It was a fucking enormous shock when Simon brought his plus one to work."

"It was, for all of us," Alex agreed.

"I couldn't handle it at first," Kim admitted, "I felt like I was going to self-destruct. All I could see was him," her voice rose to a tone that made Alex start to worry, "that face. That monster. I spent months under his control, under his spell. More than once. All those horrible memories," she tapped the side of her head as she looked seriously at Alex, "we both know what it's like. Don't we?"

Alex felt a cold, hollow sensation inside of her as a million dark memories fell on her shoulders. Her head moved back and forth in a vague nod, like she couldn't quite bring herself to admit to it.

"Yes," she whispered, "We do."

"And that's what we all saw when he walked into this building," Kim continued, "but then I remembered how scared he looked and I knew I'd seen that look before. Those eyes."

Alex closed her eyes and let her head droop a little.

"His eyes," she said in agreement, "I know. I know exactly what you're going to say."

"They were human," Kim said quietly.

Alex nodded.

"I know," she said gently, "I saw that too."

Kim wriggled her toes a little as Alex's massage tickled her feet.

"I walked and walked, trying to clear my head," she whispered, "I talked myself round in circles, and then I heard him."

Alex looked at her expectantly.

"Keats?" she whispered before cursing, "I meant, James."

"It's gong to be really, really fucking hard not to keep doing that," Kim admitted, She ran a hand through her bleached spikes, showing a glimpse of dark root and closed her eyes for a moment. "Ma'am, I heard him crying. He was in real distress."

"Crying?!" Alex couldn't quite believe what she was hearing.

"He was scared, he didn't know what to do. I talked to him. I don't know if what I did was right, but -"

"No, it was," Alex interrupted, "I mean, I'm as sure as I can be. That was the right thing to do." She paused, "It sounds like he needed something. Someone."

"I don't even think he remembers all the things he did," Kim said quietly, I'm not sure he remembers much at all. He started to remember and it looked like his head was going to explode. Ma'am, I didn't know what to do."

"Well, whatever you did, it sounds like it was the right thing," Alex said gently. She ran her hand across Kim's toes and gave them one last squeeze before she got to her feet slowly. The scotch has gone to her head a little. "And you did the best thing for Simon as well."

"Couldn't have him sitting in my chair, leaving his big arse-print in my seat," Kim said huffily but Alex gave her a cheeky smile.

"Yours is bigger," she said, leaving Kim's jaw dropping and her cheeks reddening. She took a step or two towards the door before turning back to Kim and saying, "but I meant what I said. You don't have to be OK. And if you're ever not OK, you always know where I am."

Kim hadn't recovered from Alex's comment about her posterior yet. She cleared her throat and pulled her legs back down from the desk, planting her feet firmly on the floor. She took a deep breath, slightly overwhelmed by the events of the morning. She was OK, at least for now. Knowing there were people who cared about her made that easier.

"Thanks, Ma'am," she said quietly, "the same goes for you. I'm always here."

Alex gave a cheeky grin.

"You weren't this morning," she commented and Kim gave a laugh of amusement.

"Someone's got their sarcastic hat on today, haven't they?!" she commented and Alex laughed.

"I think Gene may have given me the good stuff," she said, feeling slightly light-headed again.

"Don't wanna know!" Kim cried, throwing her hands in the air to much amusement from Alex.

"Not like that!" Alex reassured her as she headed out of the doorway. She peered back in for a moment. "Besides," she winked, "It's Tuesday tomorrow."

Kim blushed and grinned as Alex left the room, then drew her bare feet back up onto the desk and flexed her soles. It had been a hard morning and the day was only halfway through. However, she had a feeling they were all going to survive the latest storm. They were made of tougher stuff.

"Yeah," she sighed, "we're gonna be fine."

She reached out and lifted the phone on her desk, jabbing at the first speed dial number.

"Chief Inspector Thomas?"

Instantly any remaining stress faded away.

"Hey, it's me," Kim said, a smile crawling over her face. Hearing Robin's voice helped to ground her in a moment. "You want to go for some lunch?"

It really was good to know that some things never changed.