Author's Note: ...

Day One-Hundred Four: I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz

Hanna jumped onto the bed and sat cross-legged.

"Hanna!"

"Oh, lighten up, Spencer. It's just me and you. It's not like you've never seen the female anatomy, anyway. And I'm wearing underwear," she replied with a slight eye-roll.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to get the picture out of my mind. "Too much information, Hanna," I insisted.

She rolled her eyes again before she went back to her phone. "Emily said she's picking us up in like fifteen minutes."

Before I could respond, there was a knock at the door. Wondering who it was, I walked over to the door and opened it. It was Toby.

Hanna, cross your legs.

As if she could read my thoughts, Hanna stood up and straightened her light pink dress. "I'm going to give you guys some alone time," she told us.

"Caleb is downstairs," Toby informed her.

She tried hard not to smile too much, but quickly went downstairs.

"You weren't supposed to see me before graduation," I said somewhat sternly, though my expression clearly betrayed the statement.

"Why? Is it bad luck or something?"

I shook my head slightly. "No, I just…I didn't expect you to come over. Plus, I wanted to surprise you with how great Hanna made me look," I answered with a little smile. I could feel heat rising to my cheeks.

"You look gorgeous. But I never notice because you always do," he said with a little shrug. "You don't need to be wearing a really pretty white dress or an obscene amount of makeup for me to see that."

I had to take a moment to decide whether or not he was being serious. It was almost like he was too good to be true. Well, he was too good to be true. But he was a paradox; he was too good to exist at all, and still he did.

I kissed him on the cheek, quickly wiping away the remnants of my red lipstick on his skin. His blue eyes were glistening playfully at me. They were so expressive and almost intimidating. It was almost like looking into the sun in some way I can't describe; it burned but you couldn't help but admire the beauty and the passion.

I felt him take my hand. I was having a hard time looking in his eyes.

"I'm really, really proud of you, Spencer. That's what I came by to tell you," he said. "You've just…overcome so much to make it to this point, and I don't think I could've done it."

I nodded. "Well…I couldn't have done it without you." I looked at him and I realized I really couldn't have; he kept me grounded. He was my rock. He was rational and he thought things through. I was fast on my feet and didn't hesitate to think about something before making a decision. He was placid and diplomatic and I was hot-tempered and….fiery, to say the least. He was Victorian and I was avant garde. He was my foil. And we never looked like we'd work, but we somehow always did.

"I don't know how I'm going to get through college without you," I lamented finally and sadly.

"I do. You're going to, because I'm going to be there, with you. In spirit, even if things get rough," he insisted. "You didn't really think I'd be giving you up so easily, did you, Hastings?"

I couldn't help but smile. "No, of course not."

Sometimes when I'm studying alone in my dorm, I wonder what he's doing, what he's saying, and even what he's thinking.

He'd been really great about not calling me all the time, but that almost made me nervous, like something was wrong. But I knew that Toby was just trying to give me my space. He was waiting for me to get older and get wiser.

He didn't need to do that. Of course not. He was wise enough for the both of us.

One spring day in particular, I jumped to answer his phone call. I couldn't wait to talk to him.

"How is New York?"

"Exactly as hectic and as crazy as it was the last time you asked me that question. How is work?"

"Exactly the same as the last time you asked."

Even though that sounded like a boring conversation, I loved my conversations with him like that.

"Have you showed everyone there that you're the greatest star?"

I had to suppress a laugh. "Please don't start singing show tunes for me—"

"I am by far!"

"Really, Toby—"

"But no one knows it."

"Toby—"

"Wait! They're gonna hear a voice, a silver flute!"

It was getting increasingly hard for me to keep from laughing.

"They'll cheer each toot—hey, that kid is terrific—when I expose it…"

"Toby, are you going to keep singing Barbra Streisand?" I inquired point-blank.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"Well, I was hoping to talk to you…"

"Alright, fine."

In the end, I could never keep from laughing with him; he was just that person who made you laugh when you didn't even want to smile. Clearly, he was the greatest star.

"Spencer…you're the greatest star in all of New York. You're the greatest probably in the whole world," he said to me.

I was silent as I formed a response. "That's not true. There's always actual Barbra. And Kristin Chenoweth. And…you."

"Yeah, but you're the greatest star to me."

I wondered what I ever did to deserve him. I supposed that maybe I did something great and important in my past life. Maybe that was why God or whatever greater power had blessed me with such an amazing guy who I truly believed only had eyes for me.

It almost made me feel guilty for ever considering turning this life away. Taking it away.

It was something I wasn't proud of. It left a sour taste in my mouth. It just left him feeling bitter and sad all over for me, but I knew he had similar thoughts before. I suppose birds of a feather flock together.

But he helped me through it. He…found me and helped me.

And I guess I was still alive to make the difference I was intended to make. At least…I thought fate had an odd way of influencing our situations.

From that point forward—that very dark, dank, dim point—I vowed not to give up and to never leave something unfinished.

And he taught me a lot, too. About myself. About life. About love (obviously).

"Yeah, okay. I guess we're both stars, after all.

I sat on the bed of his hotel room. I was ready for graduation. He was with me, being the supportive boyfriend he always was.

"I can't believe I'm really here," I commented absentmindedly.

"I can't believe it, either," he said before sitting in front of me.

"I can't believe we survived for six years," I added.

"Neither can I."

"We didn't break."

"No."

"We didn't crumble."

"Nope."

"We didn't fight everything around us."

"I should say not."

I stared at him for a moment. "I swear, if you start singing 'I'm the Greatest Star' again, I'm walking out of this room and that will be the end of six beautiful years," I threatened hollowly.

He just laughed. "Spencer—"

"You don't realize that that was probably the scariest moment ever," I joked.

"I'm glad to know I'm that bad of a singer."

I pouted. "No, just…it was really unnatural to hear you sing 'Funny Girl'. Like, very unnatural," I told him.

"But it made you smile. And it still makes you smile," he told me.

I nodded. "You make me smile. And you make me…I don't know. You taught me a lot. And even if we didn't work out—"

"That's a big if."

"—you still taught me so much, and for that, I have to be eternally grateful. You taught me who I am and who I'm not and all the skills I have. And you gave me some feeling of self-worth, I guess."

"You guess?" he inquired before sitting up. "You guess? Since when does Spencer Hastings ever guess anything? And since when does Spencer Hastings ever guess on a question as asinine as that? Your life is worth more than gold and silver and all the crown jewels put together. Your life brings light and hope and laughter. Not just to me, but all your friends, too."

"You taught me not to give up. On myself. On life. On projects. On my dreams. On us. On everything. On fate, too," I continued.

"Really? I taught you that? I just figured you go for something like a shark; once you get the tiniest hold of it, you don't let go."

"I wasn't always like that. But then I met you and you taught me new things. And now I won't give up on anything. And I'm definitely not giving up on us, so you can hold your breath until you turn blue, but I'm not letting go of you," I insisted.

He had a giant grin on his face. "Hey, Spence?"

"Yes, Toby?"

"You know that rhymed?"

I stared at him for a moment before rolling my eyes. "You really are the biggest idiot I know and I love you so much. Come on. We're going to be late, and I'm certainly not giving up on getting my diploma."

I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of his hotel room. On the way out, I realized how perfectly my hand fit in the palm of his.

If that wasn't a sign that I should never give up on him, I'll never know what was.

So I lied. It was actually "I Won't Give Up", not the other one.

LittleBittyAbby:It's alright. I actually haven't used my computer to do anything but watch Dance Moms while I took a shower today. My hair is probably so sad. I've been taking like two showers every single day and I wash my hair all the time, which I know isn't good for it, but my scalp feels really nasty if I don't wash my hair. IDK why you needed to know that. Sorry for my word vomit. Well, I guess you didn't like this one as much. Sorrryyyy :)

AussieMizz: I try, but I lack confidence in pretty much everything, so I think my writing is shite most of the time. I hate it! And please stop talking because I'm a size 13/14 and I HATE IT when girls who are a lot thinner talk about their weight like that. Stop it. I bet you're beautiful. When I dance in my basement, it's mostly to DM and Lana songs. And from the DM songs, I use a lot of stuff from Chloe solos. Sometimes I do stuff to Kenzie solo songs (though I obviously can't do acro since I'm not flexible at all and I have this perpetual fear of falling). Alyssa's a pretty name. I knew an Elyssa earlier this year and she was nice and then she started being rude and I was like...whatever.

Guest (Jane): I'm so glad you like my one-shots! I actually feel like my multi-chaps are a bit better (until they begin to drag), but now I'm writing so many one-shots that I think they might be improving. Thank you so much!

So...I'm done. For good. I am so tired. I just want to sleep. Apparently that's a sign of depression and I do believe I'm really depressed...not that it matters, internet acquaintances (and friends).

The next one-shot is going to be I Told You So by Carrie Underwood and it's ACTUALLY that song this time. I promise.

I'm trying really hard to finish the next chapter of SSS but that story is really not clicking for me. I'll try for Thursday but no promises.

But on the bright side, today is like a really awesome day because not only did Ultraviolence come out (I'm a Sad Girl...sorry, I was trying to be punny), but PLL is on tonight AND IT'S THE RETURN OF TOBY CAVANAUGH and I'll stop fangirling right now. -Kayson/Kaybae (omg I'm not letting al make up any more nicknames)