Author's Note: Hey guys, it's been a while hasn't it? I'm really sorry about that. After my exams I lost huge motivation for all writing, I passed all of my exams though! So I'm now writing to you from nearly two months of being at university. I've got my work under control now, and I've wanted to update this for WEEKS but only just had the time. It's been so long I've decided to re-read it all myself to remind myself of what happened and fix up typos and such. As such, this is just a short little chapter to say: I'm back, hopefully for good this time.
My writing style has probably changed since I last updated, so if it seems a little different, that's just the inevitable process of time I guess. I can't promise updates will be daily like they were at one stage, especially seeing as I'm still not sure how much longer this has left or how it's going to end, but I'll try and get an update up at least once a week. Also, I found out, this fic's word count is longer than the first Harry Potter book, and it's not even finished! How crazy is that? I've also moved mainly over to 'archive of our own'/'AO3' to update. It's mostly Homestuck though so sorry! This will probably be the last Durarara! fic I finish/post. I might complete the other ones I've got started but, I can't promise anything.
I WOULD ALSO JUST LIKE TO ADD. I've had reviews complaining this is "going too slowly" and that "nothing is happening" with them. I hate to break it to you, but love doesn't just happen overnight. This isn't going to be a "quick fic" so rather than posting hate at me for writing a more accurate, longer tale, just go find another fic.
Izaya was glad when the two of them finally slipped back into the lower levels of Sunshine 60; though he'd never have admitted to the weakness out loud, the cold had been getting to him up there on the observation deck. He'd left his jacket back at the loft after all, and the dress shirt he'd picked out really didn't do much to keep the warmth in. It was nice, tailored to fit him perfectly - Izaya didn't expect anything less from Shiki - but not practical. He wasn't even sure why he wore it, though decided maybe it was another huge 'fuck you' to Shiki. He half wished he'd not insisted they both dress up, just so he could have retained a warmer outfit. He had to admit though no one seemed to have noticed who either of them were yet, that was good for both of them, Shizuo especially. He was sure the blonde wouldn't have made it this far if someone had. Speaking of him, Izaya noted that he looked annoying warm in his own shirt, but guessed he shouldn't be surprised. He knew from personal experience that the oaf produced an insane amount of heat, even when it was freezing out and he could still feel the cold seeping in through the thickness of his jacket. He half wondered how Shizuo would react if he sidled up beside him to absorb some of that warmth for himself. Part of his brain told him to go for it, that it would be interesting to see him react, to see him squirm.
The lower floors were even quieter than they had been earlier on, and that didn't surprise Izaya either. It was getting late now, most people had already gone back to their homes or retreated to hotel rooms or were still letting the night wind down over a final glass of wine in one of the restaurants. Shizuo noticed it too, Izaya could tell by the way his shoulders unbunched and the tension seemed to ease away on finding that they hadn't run into anyone else on their way back to the elevators and until the machine took them to the ground floor. The two of them hadn't spoken since Shizuo had gruffly announced they were going back inside, but for some reason Izaya didn't mind that. Sure, normally he was talking non-stop, content to hear the sound of his own voice, his own wisdom, and sometimes because he knew just how much the sound of his voice could rile Shizuo up. But this? He was content with this too. Just the sound of them walking, of them breathing, moving, just surviving- maybe it was because it had been so long since Izaya had had that simplicity that he found it so alluring, maybe it was something else, maybe there didn't need to be a reason.
The streets were more crowded than Sunshine 60 had been, but Ikebukuro was always busy, always bustling with life, despite the time or the weather or the day. That was one of the things Izaya loved so much about it, that despite anything, there were always people here to play with, people to watch, to enjoy.
"My, my, my Shizu-chan," Izaya cooed when the too of them had stepped onto the street, a familiar smirk tugging at the corners of his lips like an old friend. The door to the towering building had swung shut almost silently behind Shizuo, who still hadn't said a word, and almost seemed to be brooding over what he'd let slip at the top. Izaya still wasn't sure what to make of that. Shizuo would be lonely if he were to leave? How was he meant to take that? He'd be lonely because he liked him, cared for him, wanted him around? Or he'd be lonely because his enemy would be gone, because there'd be no one left to fight, to accept the monstrous other side to him? Izaya knew which one he'd prefer, but couldn't be sure which one was the truth.
"Was our date just that spectacular you are lost for words?" He continued, teasingly, playfully, though the question was serious. Though he could act like he had it all under control, like he was okay with letting this, whatever it was, run where it may, there was no denying he was scared beyond belief, had lost control of this long, long ago. He needed to know what was going on in Shizuo's head too. Lately it was becoming harder and harder to read the monster's thoughts, and damn near impossible to read Shizuo's. He wasn't sure what that meant either, if that was a good thing or not. Did this mean that Shizuo was working through this in his head too? Was he going through what Izaya had gone through before? He didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't-
"Uhn," Shizuo shrugged in reply, a lazy raising of one shoulder as he trailed behind after Izaya. He was definitely lost in his head, definitely hung up on what he'd said and no doubt beating himself up for admitting that much. It was difficult for him, Izaya could see that. Fuck, it was for him too.
"Feeling sorry for yourself is pointless," Izaya piped up, stopping, an eyebrow arched Shizuo's way. He wondered if the blonde would even notice that he'd stopped he was that far into his own head. "And living in the past is a dull, lonely business. Stop wasting energy on it. Focus on the now. I do."
Shizuo looked up at that. Izaya found he didn't understand the look in his eyes.