After a few short hours of 'working', I found myself unable to deal with Duffers. I had only asked if she had decided on a date for the artshow she had been promising me for the past two years. She dismissively said she was worried that I wasn't ready for another show of that caliber, even though my past exhibition had been the only good reviews her gallery had gotten in years.
I decided it was best to take an early day when in my frustration, I barked at her and made her spill the overpriced, over-sugared latte all over her stupid black sequined-shawl.
As I drove to my mother's place, I reflected on my outburst at work. My frustration had less to do with Duffers and her antics and more with the stagnation I have in my life. Why is it that I keep getting so close to what I want and there's always some ass-hole of a barrier that's in my way?
But I'm deciding not to wallow, like I had before. No, I'm a woman of action now. And I am determined to find some remedy for vampire venom that Ben would be satisfied with so that he'll take the chance and kiss me goddammit!
Mom seems to always know when I'm in a particularly shitty mood, because I could smell the fresh brownies waiting for me in the oven when I walked in.
"Carlisle called ahead about the remedies book. Your Great Aunt Aiyana also brought me her grandmother's book. It looks much older than mine and might have something that will help. I also made you some cleansing tea, like I used to before…"
My mother had the adorable quirk of bombarding people with a wealth of information before they could even get in a simple hello. "Hi, mom. And how are you?"
"Oh, I'm so sorry, dear! I'm just so excited for you. You haven't...well, you haven't had any prospects like this for the past ten years. There's a fire in you now that I thought had been completely snuffed out."
I was uncomfortably aware of what she meant, of the unspoken conversations we never had, of the worried looks that would be shot my way when she thought I never noticed. I'm sure I had spent the last decade clinically depressed and not motivated enough to even be diagnosed.
"Yeah, it is strange actually caring about whether or not I make til next Tuesday.", I said in rare moment of sincerity. Tears pooled in her eyes and she pulled me into her embrace. For the first time in ten years, I hugged back and held on. I don't know how long our hug lasted, but I felt like I was making up for all that time. Saying sorry for how much I had carelessly worried her in these past years.
In true Charlie fashion, he pulled us right out of our heavy moment by walking into the kitchen and hitting his head on an open cabinet door. Our tears shifted to laughter as we unraveled from our embrace and I moved to sip the now significantly colder, period tea my mother had brewed for me.
It was a few hours later that I entered my condo with the books my mother gave me in tow. Almost like clockwork, my phone vibrated in my pocket and I instinctively knew that it was Ben asking about my day.
You'd think that spending a majority of my life tied to a pack, I'd be pretty familiar with being connected and knowing what others are doing and thinking even when we're miles apart. But this feels different. In a pack, your brain is connected to others making it sometimes feel like your thoughts and focus is sometimes out of your control. When you imprint, it's more intense and with your heart.
I pulled the phone out of my back pocket as I sat the books on my nightstand, and glanced at the screen to see Ben's text.
Will I be bailing you out of jail for maiming Duffers?
It was enough for the biggest smile of the day to erupt on my face. Even though I had just seen him this morning, my chest already ached from missing him. It's positively disturbing.
No, but there's always tomorrow. I would save that money just in case…
That bad? Do you need me to come over?
Being overprotective is MY job! & although the wolf inside me very much so wants you to come over, I know that, for now, it's not a good idea. How about we grab dinner tomorrow? You choose the place?
I think I can negotiate with that wolf of yours. I'll pick the place. Pick you up from work?
We'll see. And I suppose that's alright, nothing too Rosalie-y.
No promises, love.
I smirk at the phone before setting it down on my end table and picking up the books wistfully. My gut, forever reason, was telling me that we wouldn't find the answers we need within those pages. Things were never that simple for me.
Still, I felt a shred of confidence that was stemming from absolutely nowhere. My silver-lining is so microscopic that a god couldn't possibly be so cruel to let me get this close to happiness only to snatch it away again. With that thought in mind, I drifted off into a deep sleep.
In the middle of night I awakened from the sound of footsteps on my wooden floor. Startled, I sat up in bed and found myself staring into the lustful face of Ben.
"Ben!", I sat up even straighter, my blanket slipping down to reveal my oversized tank top. "What's wrong? What are you doing..". His lips were on mine before I could even finish the question. And from there my mind was overtaken by sensation of feeling everything at once. Kissing Ben was like kissing the universe, I felt every atom, every element, fire, water, earth and air all at once.
In the back of my consciousness, I was aware that the bed we were in kept rumbling, catching fire, and being snuffed out. The result was a steamy, sauna atmosphere and I couldn't stand to have clothes on for any second longer.
"Rip this fucking shirt off of me. Now.", I managed bite out, as he trailed cooling kisses down my neck. "I'm...I'm burning.", I exclaimed in between moans. The sweet, tingly burn I had been feeling was starting to overwhelm me.
As he did what I commanded and started focusing his attention on my breasts, that pleasurable burn started to shift to an overwhelming pain. My skin was sizzling everywhere his lips had touched me. My mouth felt like it was on fire.
Suddenly, the bed started to go up in flames and I was completely being engulfed in the scorching flames. The iris of Ben's eyes seemed to be out of control and shifting in between red and blue, as he tried desperately to to extinguish the flames that were swallowing me up I focused on Ben's, now tear-ridden eyes, as my vision started to go black.
I woke up with a start to the sun rising, birds happily chirping, and my bed perfectly intact. Groaning, I stared at the industrial beams of my ceiling. I can't even do wet dreams right.