Chapter 12

"I don't remember putting these cookies on my tray," Alex commented as she reached the till. She picked them up and waved them under Gene's nose. "Any idea how they got there?"

Gene shrugged and thrust his hands in his pockets.

"Immigration?" he suggested as a colander clonked them both on the head, "Jesus Christ, it comes to something when getting some grub is more dangerous than scooping up the scum off the street!"

"Oi," A very angry voice caught their attention, "Are you paying for those or what?!"

"Now I remember why we started waving goodbye to yer five-star service and getting our sugar fix at Latte Land," Gene's face reddened the more pissed off he became.

"One of us is paying," Alex said, tossing the cookies onto Gene's tray," And it isn't me."

She handed over the money for the rest of her lunch, refused a complimentary sprout and waited for Gene to grudgingly pay for the cookies on top of the rest of his lunch.

"Now I remember why we stopped coming here and started buying up the snack counter at Latte Land instead," he reiterated in a mumble.

"I thought we stopped coming here because you got a three-week ban for telling the colander woman to shove sprouts in a variety of unpleasant places," Alex reminded him and Gene gave an annoyed grunt.

"Not like we're missing out on much," he said as they chose a table and sat down, "The cuisine has gotten greener and the cook has gotten meaner."

Alex smiled and started to open up her sandwich whilst Gene broke pieces off his cookie and started tossing them in the air, catching each one in his mouth quite expertly. Alex noted with amusement that she'd watched him hone that skill over the seventeen years or so that she'd been in Gene's world and it had taken him almost that entire time to master the art without sending people to hospital with eye injuries, left, right and centre.

"It's nice to know some things never change," she said, and not for the first time that day.

Gene grasped a pasty and took an abnormally large bite.

"Oh yeah?" he managed to mumble whilst chewing, "what about the things that have changed?"

He not-so-subtly nodded toward a table across the room where what would normally have been a group of three had picked up an extra member. Alex felt her stomach turn for a moment and she almost put down her sandwich but she told herself sternly to stick by her earlier decision. She needed to accept James as a person in his own right. Jim Keats had caused her immeasurable pain but the man sitting awkwardly amongst friends had no malice nor evil in his eyes. He looked lost and uncomfortable whilst Simon, Kim and Robin talked and chattered amongst themselves. Every so often one of them – usually Simon - would turn to him to include him in the conversation but he would mumble something quickly and then become very interested in the straw sticking out of the Capri Sun that he'd been making last for twenty minutes.

"I trust your world, Gene," she said quietly, "it wouldn't have given him that job if he was going to burn down our walls."

"He's literally done that, Bols," Gene reminded her, "twice."

Alex stared at her sandwich as she thought about Gene's words. She hadn't even taken a bite yet, despite Gene having wolfed down most of his pasty already. The day's strange events had killed her appetite. She picked at the bread as she configured her response.

"I trust your world," she said again, "it knows what it's doing. Look at the choices it's made. A whole suite appeared for Kim. Offices changed size and shape to accommodate new staff. A whole new department appeared for Robin."

"You're using Batman and Metal Mickey as poster boys for the choices me world's stuck to us," Gene spluttered. It was as close as Gene Hunt ever got to a genuine laugh. Well, aside form any time Simon fell over or got a water balloon in the face. "Blimey, Bolly, you're scraping the bottom of the barrel with that one."

"Jealousy doesn't become you, Gene," Alex commented cheekily. She finally took a bite of her sandwich and smiled as Gene scowled.

"The only time I'm jealous of Batman is when he's got one of those big-arsed cakes," he snorted.

"Young blood," Alex commented, "thriving; bringing in a new era," She reached across to rub the wedding ring on Gene's finger, "doesn't equate to you and I being resigned to the scrap heap just yet, you know. You can admit they're doing well without heading off for last orders at Nelson's."

"What about Shoe-Shop Boy?" Gene grunted, "me world was having a bad day when it planted that one in his own office,"

"Simon's not doing so badly himself," Alex smiled, picking again at her food, "it took him a while to settle down -"

"Define a while?" Gene asked, "how many End of the Year shows does that cover?"

"I seem to remember it took someone not so far away from you a good while to sort herself out, too," Alex raised her eyebrow with a slightly embarrassed smile, "I don't think you can blame Simon for that. Besides," she looked over at him and observed the changes he'd undergone in the last few months; an increased confidence in his work, making a real effort with his appearance... the sculpted hair that replaced the overgrown waves he'd never bothered to style before, stylish shirts, a pierced ear she felt pretty sure had been a Kim freebie... wait, were those highlights in his hair as well? But more than that there was a smile on his face. Alex had never truly seen a happy Simon before. She couldn't deny it was good to see, after all that time. "Besides," she continued, "I think he's made his mark by now."

"Yeah, all over the toilet walls," scoffed Gene.

"Not the graffiti," Alex rolled her eyes but she was smiling. She ate silently for a while considering the events of the day. She could tell from Gene's stance and the way he glared at James every now and then that it was going to take some time for him to accept someone into his world who wore the face of their number one enemy, and she herself was going to take a good long while to get used to fighting her natural response every time she saw him. However, she knew enough to trust the world that had been her home for so many happy years. James had come to the world a long time ago for a second chance and the darkness had prevented him from getting the life he deserved. Now he was lucky enough to have a third chance and he had Simon to help him through it.

They had each other and Alex knew for a fact that facing the world with someone who's got your back and gives you warmth and comfort makes everything easier by a long way.

"Yeah, they'll be just fine," she sad so quietly that Gene couldn't hear over the slurping of his latte. Alex couldn't resist smiling. Deeply buried memories threatening to come out of hiding but she wasn't going to let them taint her field of vision. James was still on trial but he deserved a fair chance. That was the basis of their world, after all. And it was a world she trusted with her life.

~xXx~

James smiled politely as Kim and Robin recounted some story that was probably hilarious to simon or to anyone else who knew them. It involved baked beans, some bathroom scales and a blindfold, but beyond that James wasn't sure. He'd zoned out repeatedly, feeling out of the loop and awkward from the moment he'd taken his seat in the canteen. It was clear that Kim and Robin had forgotten his presence for the most part and even Simon spent more time with his face turned away from James, talking to his friends than he did engaging in conversation with him.

There was an element of jealousy but mostly he simply felt lost and neglected. It was natural, and he knew that – Simon hadn't seen his friends for the last few weeks and they had much to catch up on, plus the three of them had been through so much together that any outsider would find it hard to penetrate that circle of friendship. But since the day Simon took him home they'd been alone together almost constantly. He didn't know how to survive without Simon. He was out of practice when it came to existing for a start. He'd only had a month of life experience after what added up to a good couple of decades surrounded in dark energy. He knew he needed to toughen up and start living for himself if he was going to survive out in the real world now that the safe little bubble he'd spent the past few weeks in had been burst.

"Hey," Simon's voice pulled James out of his thoughts, "You OK? You've been very quiet."

Didn't know what to say, James thought silently but with a slightly wobbly smile he said,

"Just tired. Not been used to doing a day's work." He wasn't exactly lying. Simon's paperwork was probably going to be the death of him. He scratched his head and pushed back his dark waves. "Listen, I'm fine, honestly, Si, you don't need to worry about me. But I feel a bit..." He trailed off and glanced at Kim and Robin who were very deeply into a conversation and Simon knew exactly what he meant.

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly, "I should have done a better job at including you. I feel like an arsehole."

"No, no," James laughed softly, "that's the last thing I meant. Honestly, I'm OK, I need time to," he shrugged, "come out my shell," he felt a bit stupid saying that but it was what it boiled down to, "listen, I'm off to the bathroom. Go to the lav and wash the sprout juice off me too." He blanched at the thought and Simon nodded.

"I get you. Don't worry about it, I understand." he watched James get to his feet and reached out to touch his hand. "Listen, I'm just going to finish this and then I'll meet you in the office, yeah?"

"See you," James smiled. He thought about leaning forward to kiss Simon but he felt an unexpected wave of self-consciousness and stopped himself. He glanced around, suddenly aware of how many people there were in the room. That was only a small sample of how many people there were in the station, and then in the city, and the country, and the world. For the first time he felt awkward about his relationship status. At first he'd felt so overwhelmed by the magnitude of beating the dark energy that the last thing he'd worried about was his sexuality. Now he realised they would be under a microscope. He hadn't even thought about his sexuality besides how he felt about Simon. He didn't even know what his sexuality was. Right there and then, his sexuality was Simon.

"See you later," Simon's voice pulled James out of his thoughts and with a slightly nervous smile he said goodbye to Simon for now and set off to wash the scent of sprouts from his hands. As far as first days on the job were concerned, this was going to take some beating.

X

"Is he OK?"

"Hmm?" Simon seemed just as distracted as he turned back to the table and found Kim looking a little concerned.

"James," she said, "Is he OK?"

Simon sighed softly.

"Feeling a little out of place," he told her, "sorry."

Kim and Robin exchanged a glance.

"Sorry, were we being too exclusive?" Robin asked, feeling guilty, if only a little.

Simon smiled distantly but he felt guilty too.

"It's my fault," he said, "I should have made sure he could join in. I remember being the new boy here."

"Yeah, I heard you introduced yourself by breaking three toes," Kim smiled and Simon pulled a face.

"That's three more than you," he began as though that was something to brag about before realising how stupid he sounded and turned rather red in the face. "Bollocks."

Robin smiled and dug into his plate of beans.

"I think I passed out in the car park and then almost got thrown in the cells for rowdy behaviour on mine," he said and this time Simon laughed.

"I think it was 'drunk and disorderly'," he commented.

"I wouldn't mind but I hadn't even had anything to drink!" Robin protested.

"That soon changed," Simon commented cheekily and the two exchanged a smile.

"Whoever would have thought we were a pair of teetotallers back in the day?" Robin said wistfully.

Simon smiled then glanced at Kim as she supped from a can of coke.

"And some of us got their drinking out the way years ago," he commented with a raised eyebrow.

Kim smiled back, returning her can to the table.

"My wild days are done," she commented, trying to muffle a burp.

"Unless it's truth or dare," Simon commented, his eyebrow rising so high it looked like it was about to take off.

Kim felt slightly unnerved by his rogue eyebrow.

"I think truth or dare should be left firmly back in the past," she said and Simon gave a grin.

"Which is exactly where we all are," he said, tipping the last of his crisps into his mouth, "so truth or dare is a thing that is destined to stay."

Kim folded her arms and stuck out her bottom lip.

"Bollocks," she said.

~xXx~

"He just came bursting right in, Shaz, he saw everything!"

Shaz shrieked delightedly and clapped her hands, as amused by the glow in Marci's cheeks as she was by the whole story.

"No wonder he wouldn't sit with us for lunch," she giggled, "he's probably scared he'll say something stupid like..." she thought for a moment before staring at the remains of Marci's sandwich and grinning wickedly, "like asking you how your baps are!"

"Shaz!" cried Marci, but she was laughing. She pushed her hair away from her face and popped a grape in her mouth. Shaz had been somewhat delighted by the 'test shots' she'd received but the story of Jake's surprise had taken prescient over their conversation.

"I'm sorry," Shaz smiled, "I can just imagine him spending the next three years trying not to bring it up but somehow mentioning it in ever single conversation."

Marci had to giggle.

"Yeah, you and me both. Christ, Shaz, I'll never live it down!"

"Well that's what you get for testing out your new equipment in your office," she said cheekily.

"I didn't hear you complaining when you got the email," Marci pointed out.

"Well I wouldn't be, would I? I got to see your equipment," Shaz teased and Marci screeched.

They giggled like naughty school children as they finished up their lunches and Marci chased the last grape around her tray with a finger. She had fallen into a thoughtful silence for a few moments which was in contrast to the rowdy conversation they'd been having throughout their break. Eventually Shaz realised that Marci had zoned out and started to wave a hand gently in front of her face.

"Hello? Anyone in?" she asked as Marci shook herself out of her daze.

"What? Sorry," she smiled awkwardly, "I started daydreaming."

"Oh yeah, about what?" Shaz asked cheekily, "cameras?"

"Kind of," Marci straightened up in her chair, "Jake."

"Ahh."

"Why do you think he ran away like that?" Marci asked with a frown.

"Uh, he just found his best friend with nothing on above the waist," Shaz laughed, "with a camera pointing at her chest! I think it would send me running and screaming too!"

"But we're not like that," Marci told her, "we've been best friends as far back as I can remember. I've painted his bum green for an experiment before now."

Shaz herself seemed to turn green at the thought of it.

"W-why?" she asked warily.

"It was a long time ago," Marci waved her hand dismissively, "something to do with owls and Doctor Who, I think."

Shaz didn't dare ask any more about it.

"Still, there's a difference between something stupid you did when you were young and walking in on someone you probably forgot had all the same equipment that he gawps at on that poster of Ginger Spice he keeps in his locker."

Marci smiled awkwardly and nodded a vague agreement. There was a strange sense of jealousy hanging over her. The comparisons between her and Scary Spice had plagued her for two years and she'd never really minded. But now imagining the poster in Jake's locker she felt herself thinking something that she couldn't explain.

"He likes the wrong Spice Girl," she mumbled to herself. She realised she was zoning out again and shook herself out of her thoughts as Shaz started to get to her feet. "Are you off, babe?"

"Yeah, I want to make sure I get all my papers finished before five so I can get home on time," Shaz told her, "to get ready to go out later." She grabbed the apple from her tray and tossed it in the air, caching it swiftly, "got a hot date tonight."

Marci's lips twitched into a smile.

"Oh yeah?" she said feeling a little coy.

"Hot date with a hot babe," Shaz said teasingly, "I've had the free sample." She leaned closer to Marci, so close that Marci could feel Shaz's warm breath against her face, "now I'm looking forward to checking out the goods."

Marci gave a slightly embarrassed laugh and felt her cheeks flushing.

"You're so bloody cheesy," she admonished, aware that she felt very tingly inside at the thought of her night ahead with Shaz who was laughing at her reaction.

"I'll see you tonight," she grinned. She blew Marci a kiss and moved away from the table with a wiggle in her walk, knowing full well that Marci's eyes were on her backside.

Marci leaned back and popped her final grape into her mouth as she watched Shaz's butt disappear from the canteen. She decided it was time to put thoughts of Jake's unexpected interruption and unobtainable crushes out of her mind. Woah, where did that thought come from? She shook her head and tutted to herself. She'd known Jake for more years than she'd known how to tie a shoelace. There had been plenty of time to develop a crush but never had. He was her very best friend. This wasn't happening.

"Forget about it," Marci mumbled to herself. Jake was off limits. What was very much on was her night out with Shaz. It felt as though they were truly back on track, sealed with some surprise photos and a naughty night on the town. In fact, life felt back on track.

Marci closed her eyes for a moment and smiled contentedly. Life was going in the girth direction and that felt fucking awesome.

~xXx~

"Ugh, time's up," Robin looked at his watch, "time to get back to work."

"Bullshit, I'm the only one with a watch that works," Kim nudged him.

"I know when lunch is over when you stop burping," Robin told her, watching her face instantly rotate through several different expressions and colours before deciding upon fluorescent pink with a touch of mortification, "I just looked at my watch to save you the embarrassment of knowing how I tell the time."

"Thanks so much for that," Kim mumbled through gritted teeth, "your plan clearly worked so well."

Robin felt a little guilty, but only a little. Kim was so easy to embarrass and he loved watching her cheeks turn pink. It made her look cute; almost adorable. If he ever told her that, she'd have pierced every inch of his arse as revenge though so it remained his little secret within himself every time he taunted her.

"I do need to get back to work though," he said skimming his finger around his plate to finish the last of the bean juice which he licked from his fingertip. He got to his feet and Kim followed.

"I'll walk you back to your office before I go back to work," she offered, looping her arm through his. She glanced at Simon. "Coming?"

Simon leaned back, put his hands around the back of his head and yawned.

"Nah," he sighed, "I'm just going to get another coffee before I go back to work. I'll catch you later."

"Alright," Kim shrugged, "see you later."

"Bye, Simon," Robin waved before turning with Kim and walking towards the way out, both leaning inward to rest their bodies against one another as they did so.

Simon smiled to himself as he watched them walk away. Even though he had put his jealousy about their relationship behind him a long time ago, when it came to Kim and Robin he'd still been envious of what they had. Every time he'd seen the way they were with one another he wished that he had someone to tease and hold and laugh with and talk to. Someone to share worries and secrets and gossip and jokes. Someone to make him feel warm and loved and wanted and needed. For the first time he no longer felt that envy. He had James.

Speaking of which -

"Shit, better get back to the office," he mumbled as he sat up right and hauled his lazy self out of the chair. He didn't want to abandon James with his filing for too long. Just the thought of being with him again brought a skip to Simon's step as he hurried across to the canteen counter and joined the queue to pick up a couple of coffees. He tapped his foot and sighed as the uniformed body ahead of him seemed to take forever to pick between three different bananas. He checked his watch pointlessly and cleared his throat.

"Any chance I can skip ahead if you're going to be much longer?" Simon asked a second before he felt his heart being slowly strangled as the uniformed officer before him turned around. "Oh shit."

Michael simply smiled at him. The rest of his face looked twisted and pained.

"Skip ahead?" he asked. He stepped back and gestured to wave Simon through. "You skipped out on our date, so..."

"Michael," Simon's voice wavered as he tried not to choke, "Hi."

Michael gestured to him again.

"Go on, sir," he said with a smile that couldn't quite contain his spite, "the last thing I want to do is hold you up."

"Michael, oh god, I'm so sorry," Simon took a deep breath, " I meant to call you, it's just -"

"It's OK," Michael said tightly, "I heard."

Simon felt very much as though his legs were going to drop from underneath him and he was going to end up in a heap on the floor. He felt very much like a naughty school boy who'd been caught out cheating in a test. Or, in this case, cheating on his boyfriend.

"I-I never meant for things to go as far as they did," he said, unable to stop his voice from breaking.

"No, it's Ok," Michael said sharply, "you go ahead whilst I stand here and stare at these bananas for another few minutes." he paused, "Just like I was staring at your car as you drove away with some other guy when you were supposed to be meeting me for a night out."

Simon stared at Michael. He felt a deep, dark sense of guilt that sat in his chest, choking him. He was full of regret, not so much for standing Michael up or cheating on him with James, or for not being strong enough to own up to his decisions and end things with him instead of forgetting all about him. Instead he was full of regret for letting the relationship start in the first place. Everyone was so happy for Simon. Everyone else loved Michael. The problem was that Simon didn't.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly as two disgruntled WPCs barged past them.

"Takes so long to choose a ruddy banana they'll go bad before they even get to peel one," one of them muttered to vague apologies from Simon and Michael. The two men moved out of their way and stepped back from the food counter for a moment. Simon didn't know what to do or say, he had never felt so awkward. He felt guilty, embarrassed and ashamed but somehow he couldn't form a proper apology.

"Michael," He closed his eyes. Nothing he could tell Michael was going to make up for what he'd done. There was nothing he could say to excuse his behaviour. He didn't have any excuses. There was a time that Simon would have tried to make all the excuses under the sun to weasel his way out of the situation. Maybe James had helped him grow up a bit. He opened his eyes and looked at him sincerely. "I'm sorry. I am really, truly sorry. I was an arsehole."

"Yeah you were," Michael began but somehow the fact that Simon already knew it took the fun out of insulting him. He folded his arms as though sulking a little and slouched on the spot. This body language betrayed the deeper hurt that he was determined not to let Simon see. He'd always been about fun, never wanted anything serious. That was practically the first thing he'd told simon. He supposed they'd met at a slightly strange time, perhaps for both of them. He knew full well that Simon was suffering from a broken heart the night they'd met. He even knew he was most likely a rebound thing and that hadn't bothered him at first. But he was moving from a happy-go-lucky time into one of stability and certainty; setting down roots for the first time in his life. He'd had many flings but never had a steady boyfriend or girlfriend. With Simon, it had felt like maybe he was ready for that.

"I should never have been with you." Simon's words hurt. Michael hadn't been surprised by them but he still wished they'd been different. "I was hung up on someone else and I thought... that night," Simon hung his head, feeling ashamed at his flippancy, "I thought I was never going to see you again so a one night thing... I didn't see how I could end up hurting you for that. I didn't know I was going to see you again."

"You only had to tell me you didn't want to see me again when I asked you out," Michael said crossly and Simon couldn't disagree.

"Yeah," he sighed, "I know. I know. I should have told you that. I have a problem saying no. I don't mean," Simon flushed, "I don't mean... dating-wise..." he felt his cheeks burning up, "good god, I'm not a harlot..." He noticed to his annoyance several people had gathered to watch the spectacle and five of them were giggling. He growled crossly and grasped Michael by the arm, pulling him away from the crowd but Michael shoved him away.

"Don't touch me," he snapped and Simon hung his head.

"Do you want to go somewhere more private?" he asked hopefully.

"No."

Simon scowled.

"Thought not," he mumbled. He sighed and tried to shuffle between Michael and the crowd to block their view, "Look... I got carried away," he confessed, "my friends were so happy for me. They loved you. Everyone loved you."

Michael stared at Simon sadly.

"Except you," he said, "right?"

Simon looked down at his feet.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

Michael nodded slowly. It wasn't news to him. He already knew that Simon had never felt the same way about him. He'd hoped that would change with time and even felt quite confident that he could change Simon's mind. But he wasn't an idiot.

"I could tell you weren't really into me," he said, "for the most part." They'd had a couple of moments. Michael couldn't forget those. "But what I can't forgive you for is not just ending it with me, at least as soon as you shacked up with your new boyfriend."

Simon hung his head as low as it would go and felt his face burning right up to his hairline. For the self-proclaimed head of the infidelity police he couldn't quite forgive himself for that one, either. The simple truth was that he had more or less forgotten about Michael as soon as James had become the most important part of his life.

"I'm an arsehole," Simon confessed again as a sudden swipe through the air left Michael's palm flat against his cheek. "Ow!" He jumped back and stared at Michael, aghast, "You slapped me!" he cried.

"Yeah, I slapped you," Michael growled, "I'd have made it a punch but you look like you've received a few of those today already."

Simon flinched.

"Don't remind me," he mumbled.

Michael felt his heart rate starting to slow and his breath returned to normal. There was nothing to be gained from insulting Simon, nor hitting him, The sad fact of the matter was that nothing was actually going to make him feel better. Just, he supposed, time. Damnit.

"Look," he said, shuffling a little with sudden embarrassment, "I wasn't expecting the world. But I liked you. And I had some good times with you, even though it was only for a while.

Simon studied Michael's expression. His anger seemed to have subsided. Now he just looked incredibly sad, which somehow made Simon feel worse.

"I'm so sorry," he said honestly, "for what it's worth, I do mean that. And I never meant to hurt you."

Michael wasn't sure what to say any more. Even an apology didn't make him feel better.

"I'll see you around, OK?" he said quietly, "and," he looked at Simon seriously, "I hope he's worth it."

Simon wasn't sure whether Michael's words were meant with malice or good will, but either way the answer was the same.

"He is," he felt bad as soon as he blurted his response, "I'm sorry."

Michael was out of words. There was nothing else left to say anyway. His shoulders drooped as he left the canteen in a hurry, completely forgetting about his banana dilemma. The sooner he left Simon's presence, the better.

Simon, for his part, almost lost track of his own coffee-buying mission. He'd walked halfway to the door before rolling his eyes and moaning to himself about his own stupidity, then hurrying back into the queue to buy a couple of coffees.

There was a part of him that still felt bad and probably always would, but he meant what he'd said. James was worth it. His own happiness was worth it One thing he'd learned the hard way was that there was no happiness to be had from sitting and waiting for other people to bring it to you. You had to go out and find it, and to want it. Really want it. And Simon did want it.

James had fought the darkest for forces to break free and spend his life with Simon. Now, Simon had faced the wrath of his friends to help James's transition into a new life become that little bit easier.

It was going to take time to adjust, for everybody, but in the end they would come through the other side all the stronger for it.

The future was bright. And the day had been more than just OK.

The End

Epilogue Up Tomorrow!