Author's Note: I have this cut on my leg that's like as long as my finger it's so weird...it's MILES long (I just made a pun. Love me, please).

Day One-Hundred Ten: Miles by Christina Perri

"I'm scared, Toby."

He scoffed from beside me. "Spence—"

"No, I really am. More than yesterday. Today is my first day of college and…"

"Spencer, breathe." He knew how I got when I got nervous and about my bad history with panic attacks. I was at least lucky to have him beside me. "You know how proud of you I am, don't you?"

Thinking about it, I sighed. Aside from love, all I wanted from him was for him to be proud of me. "I love you, Spencer and I'm here for you," he promised. "Just…go out and show them how amazing of a person you are."

I thought for a moment. Finally, I nodded.

Before I left (for good), I turned back to him. "You're going to be home as soon as I get back, right?"

He looked at me skeptically. "Why?"

"Because…I have the feeling that I'll just want to curl up and cuddle with you when I get home."

There was a little smile that emerged on his face. "Of course."

I breathed another sigh of relief. As I was walking away, I realized that there was no way I could possibly survive college without him.

Everyone always wanted to know how a couple like Toby and me was even possible. In all honesty, I couldn't even blame them; it sounded crazy (even to us) when we described how our relationship unfolded. From the moment we were first formally introduced to each other, we hated each other. Who would have ever figured we'd end up this in love?

I always told myself that we were the lucky ones and we had already overcome everything that the world could possibly throw at us.

But apparently, the real world was much scarier and menacing than A ever was.

I felt my heart breaking slowly every second we spent apart. That sounds really horribly clingy, but…it's not like we were really together when we were at the same place at the same time, either. I always felt alone. I knew he did, too.

I was just beginning to realize how the both of us were probably suffocating and drowning in this relationship. It was so hard…on both of us.

I didn't want to be left broken-hearted. I was trying so hard to make us work, but…we weren't.

"Toby…I can't be in this relationship anymore. We're not happy. Whenever we're together, we're not. Not really. And…I can't do this anymore. It's too painful," I said carefully, trying to plan out every word, but it just fell apart. Things like this always did.

"Spence—"

"Toby," I said more firmly. "I don't feel like you really love me anymore. I don't feel…special when I'm with you. I always feel like the both of us are distracted."

I didn't know what I had wanted at that exact moment. I guess I wanted him to say he was sorry and that we could make it work and that he loved me and the distance didn't matter.

But that's not what he said. He sat silently, thinking it through. Normally, I found it endearing, but then, I found it frustrating.

I stormed out.

I stood in the history stack at the local library. I needed to clear my head. At times like this, literature was just too relatable. I wanted to read something totally disconnected to my life, like…Stalinist Russia and Mussolini's Italy.

I opened a biography about Hitler and began to make my way slowly to the seat my bag was occupying. I couldn't shake this feeling that I was being watched, but maybe that was just my PTSD from the days of A. I just tried to work past it, but I still couldn't shake it.

Suddenly, I felt a pair of lips on my shoulder. Lips so familiar…they could only be…

"Toby?" I inquired as I began to turn around.

His arms kept me facing away. For a moment, I didn't fight it at all.

"How did you know I'd be here?" I asked.

"I know where you like to come when you get stressed out. I didn't really expect you to be reading Mein Kampf or something else about Hitler's extreme sense of entitlement, but maybe you were right and I should know you better." Was that sadness laced into his voice?

My shoulders fell. "Toby—"

"Spencer, I only came running because I wasn't about to give up on us."

"I feel like you already did."

"No, I think that was you."

"Toby, how did I—"

But the more and more I thought about it, the more and more I couldn't help but feel like…he was right. I had barely said anything about this before I decided to confront him with it.

"And if I would've known—"

"No, I guess you're right. I guess it was unfair and maybe a bit melodramatic on my part," I replied. "But I…something really has to change because this relationship is getting painful."

Just again realizing his arms were still wrapped around me, he let me go. "Okay, but Spencer…if you ever feel that way…you know you can tell me, right?" There was this undeniable sense of hurt in his eyes.

After some hesitation, I nodded. I had to look away.

I knew that was what I had to do. I was older. I needed to be smarter and more selfless. I wasn't a little girl anymore. And I certainly wasn't ready to give up. That wasn't the Spencer Hastings I knew.

I felt his arms wrap around me again. "Spence? I need to promise you two things."

There was a little smile on my face. "What's that, Toby?"

"The first is that I'll always be yours and come home to you."

A wider smile spread across my face. "And what's the second?"

I could feel him smiling behind me. "I promise that no matter how far apart we are from each other, or how badly we're at each other's throats, I will always love you infinitely and unconditionally."

And that's when I knew how far my love for him spread. It went to the end of the earth; it was infinite and never-ending.

Sarah: Well, I'm glad you liked that one in particular because I really loved it :)

sarahschneider2012: Thank you and wow, that's a lot of dance. Dance is just too expensive right now for me to actually take a class, but I do dance like an idiot in my basement, so that's fun. What was your favourite style?

MizzFizzRizz:Part of me wishes I could turn back the clock and continue to dance because I feel like now, I'm picking up so quickly that I would've actually been a good dancer if I kept with it. Plus, a dream of mine would be to be on Broadway, so being able to actually dance would be very helpful. And I've learned, from living in NYC, it's really hard to be good in NYC (like comparatively). If I'm a good singer in NYC, I'd be frickin amazing probably anywhere else. Now, if I could be a triple-threat...well, that would make me pretty much untouchable in like the middle of nowhere USA. Ooh, that's no good for your hair. Want to talk? you can PM me. And I'm glad you liked the one-shot!

tobyequalshottness: Oops, I almost wrote tobyequalshappiness, lol. Anyway, I'm so glad you liked it and I'm lazy too, so no harm done. But in all honesty, if they were all happy, that'd be boring, right? At least, that's just me. But I promise, some will be much happier.

AL3110:AL, cream cheese doesn't really taste like cheese. People put it on bagels. People don't put cheese on bagels. Well...weird people do. My dad does. Case in point. It tastes creamy and it's sweet. It doesn't even really taste like cream cheese. It tastes like...like...really fluffy clouds and chocolate and...other stuff. And sugar. And that's all. It tastes like chocolate mousse but richer and a little heavier. All those shows are on Broadway, for your informacion.

Alright, well I need to do my version of "lightning packing", which I explained in the last chapter of Begin Again, I think.

Yup, so the next one-shot is Make You Feel My Love and I can't decide whether it's Bob Marley or Adele, but whatever. I think you all know that song. Lea Michele also sang it on the Cory Monteith tribute episode of Glee.

See you crazy kids either tomorrow or Thursday. -Kayson