Chapter Nine: Looking Back

Even the nicest people have their limits.

My advice to you is,

To never try and reach those limits.

Because the nicest people,

Are more often than not,

The scariest people,

When they've had enough…

… It had been a little over a few months since 0020 had returned to Ireland now. She had been doing very well since her encounter with her mother, and now she was more open with the others. She will answer their questions more freely now, but she still stays away from certain topics like how her brother died, or what happened to her father. But other than that, she will answer their questions to the best of her ability.

It was Christmas time now for the cyborgs and everyone was busy making plans for the holiday season. They had all seemed to be enjoying themselves now that the season had settled upon them and submitted to the holiday spirit. Most of them had gone off to their own countries on vacation a few weeks ago; save only for a few handful that remained behind.

004 had stayed behind with Doctor Gilmore; saying that going back to Germany would be too painful for him. And he would be neglecting his duties as 0020's adoptive father.

003 claimed that her last Christmas (as insightful as it was) was too lonely without everyone around. So, she had decided to spend the holiday with the people she loved. She was happy and that was all that mattered to her. Plus, she got to take care of 001 as a bonus.

009 had also stayed behind with Doctor Gilmore, 001, 003, and 004. The only family he had ever known was Doctor Gilmore and the others, so it was only natural for him to want to spend it with the ones he held so close to his heart.

Doctor Kazumi had come down to spend the holidays with everyone as well. He told them that he wanted to spend holiday with everyone, but was disappointed when Doctor Gilmore told him that 005-8 wasn't going to be there. However, Doctor Gilmore had also explained that they wanted to have time to themselves. So, it was just: the two humans, 001-4, 009, and 0020.

002 had decided to stay behind with the others because he didn't like being alone on the holidays. Everyone knew he was just using it as an excuse to be close to 0020, but they kept quiet about it, and never pressed the issue.

0020 had stated that she never really had much of a Christmas with her family after Jasper had passed away, and normally spent the holiday walking around town until the holidays were over. So, her new "family" had secretly decided to give her the Christmas that they felt she deserved. Even if everyone wasn't there, they were still going to give it their personal best.

And that's just what they intended to do. 003 had found Doctor Gilmore's stash of decorations and decided to decorate the house. 004 and 009 pulled the boxes down and set up the tree. The trio suckered 002 into helping 0020 decorate the outside of the house.

They didn't do it to be mean or anything when they heard him mumble something and shake his head. 0020 joked with them and said that she needed supervision to make sure she didn't go overboard with the lights. 002's sour mood went straight out the window when he realized that it meant that he got to time alone with the girl he's so fond of.

'… Get into the flow! …'

Right now, 002 was out on the porch. He was hanging a wreath on one of the front two beams of the porch. 0020 had wrapped hanging lights along the railings and covered the wires with silver garland. Then they both lined the door frame in the same manor.

002 didn't mind being out in the cold. He didn't mind that everyone teases him about his feelings for the Empathetic girl. He got to spend time with her. And that was all he cared about. That also meant that he could get an idea about what to get her for Christmas.

002 turned around and seen 0020 wrapping the main guard railing a few feet away from him. "So, uh, 0020? I know you never really had much of a Christmas in your past life and all, but…" he struggled to say; trying his best to keep his words in order, "I was wondering…"

0020 looked over at 002 with curious eyes. "What is it, 002?" She asked in an innocent tone; giving him her full attention.

The American cyborg faked a cough and looked away. "I was just wondering what exactly you did for Christmas, ya know? Like, did you do anything? Did you and Jasper at least get to do something together? What was your favorite food? What's your favorite part?"

0020 smiled sadly at the garland in her hands. "My favorite foods were the salads. Egg Salad, Potato Salad, and I loved Deviled Eggs! I couldn't get enough of it!" She said with a faint smile, as she looked up at the gray sky above her.

She then pushed herself away from the railing, and walked off the porch. "Maw was too busy getting drunk that Jasper and I used to sneak out o' the house so we could get to see all the decorations around town! It was a lot o' fun! And whenever we'd go back home, maw was always passed out, so we stayed up all night and watched Christmas movies!"

002 smiled proudly at the girl. "Ah-Ha! I knew you had some good memories of your past life!" He announced happily; joining her off the porch.

'… That's too bad… …'

0020 smiled widely at 002. "I ne'er said I didn't, 002," she said with a teasing sneer, "I just don' 'ave a lot o' them after Jasper died."

002 huffed and folded his arms over his chest. "I still stand by what I said on the cliffs…" He grumbled in a childish tone; looking away from her. "I'm still your right hand man."

0020 looked up at 002 with a warm smile. "And ye 'ave done a fine job o' it, 002! And I can't thank ye enough for all ye 'ave done for me." She told him in a happy tone; holding her hand out for him. "Ye 'ave been helpin' me all along."

002 let his arms fall to his sides, and gave 0020 a shocked look. "But, 0020…" he said with a shake of his head, "I haven't been doing anything."

0020 rolled her eyes at him and placed her hands on her hips. "Ye may not think so, 002," she said in a firm tone, "but ye 'ave done more than ye will e'er know. Ye 'ave been doing it this whole time."

"Really? And just how exactly have I been helping you? From what I see, all I've been doing was bringing up painful memories for you." He said in a shameful tone; stuffing his hands in his pockets and turning away from her. "I can't do anything right."

0020 sighed and looked up at the sky. "Kind words… Happy smiles… warm hugs… idle conversations… simple gestures like that where e'eryone takes advantage of was something I ne'er really 'ad growing up as a human." She explained in a longing tone; holding her hands up to where her heart used to be.

"Jasper was the only one in that life that ever gave that stuff to me. But when he died… all the color and light in my world died with him." She added in a hollow tone; closing her eyes at the memories of her brother.

002 rolled his hands into tight fists. "I knew I wasn't helping…" He said angrily to himself; not looking over at the girl.

0020 sighed and walked up to the front steps. "Ye and e'eryone else gave those things back to me in spades, 002! You let me cry when I needed to, you smiled at me… you gave me hugs when I needed them the most! You talked to me like I was a real person! You acknowledged me! Now do ye get it?"

002 looked up at the girl standing in front of the porch. "Really? I do all of that?" He asked in a skeptical tone; narrowing his eyes at her.

0020 nodded to 002. "I firmly believe that there is no such thing as a memory that is okay to forget. An' now I realize that the memories are placed in the hearts and minds of all the people in the world for a reason. An' I think I see it now." She said in a quiet tone; looking down at herself.

"Really? And what is this big reason. If you ask me, I'd say that some memories are best left in the past where they belong." 002 said in a bitter tone; thinking back to the time he was tricked by Black Ghost.

"Jasper used to always say that there be no such thing as a memory that's okay to forget." 0020 said in a logical tone; looking up at the sky; picturing her dear brother smiling down at her. "Memories, both good 'n' bad, are the few things we have left at the end o' the day."

"You really miss him, don't you, 0020?" 002 asked in a hurting tone; looking over at 0020 with kind eyes.

0020 shrugged her shoulders. "I won't lie an' say that I don' miss 'im. He is my twin brother after all." She said in a lonely tone; wrapping her arms around herself. She then shook her head. "But I've always looked at it like this: …"

She then pulled 002 away from the porch and turned him around so she could show him the directions they had put up.

"I am the only proof that Jasper Wayne Pendragon ever existed. So, I have to stay alive. Otherwise, he will be forgotten. An' to me, that's worse than anything anybody could ever do to me… It doesn't hurt so much when I look at it like that. An' despite what Black Ghost had done to me, I'm actually grateful to the likes of 'em."

002 looked down at the girl standing next to him. "Why would anyone be grateful for being kidnapped off the street and turned into a cyborg like us?!" He asked in a bitter tone; folding his arms over his chest.

"If it hadn't been for Black Ghost, I probably would've never met any of ye. 001would've most likely died from his medical problems, 003 would've died of old age, 004 would've died in Germany, 005 would've most likely have been a worker in a city somewhere, 006 would've ended his own life or become a famous chief, 007 would've most likely been a retired actor by now and probably on his death bed by now, 008 would've most likely been killed in the war in his own country, 009 would be rotting in jail for a crime he didn't commit or would've possibly have died there. And the same goes for ye, too, 002." She finished in a reasoning tone; hoping to make 002 understand her point of view.

"What about you, 0020?" 002 asked in a curious tone; looking down at the girl next to him.

0020 looked at 002 for a moment; then looked up at the sky. "I would most likely 'ave died that night maw stabbed me..."

002 let the girl's words sink into his mind for a few moments. "I never thought of it like that." He said to himself in an honest tone. "Well, then, I'm glad I was given this chance to meet you, 0020."

0020 giggled at 002 for a moment, and looked back at the house. "Weather ye see it or not, 002, I 'ave gotten better since ye pulled me out o' suspended animation. Ye and e'eryone else 'ave given me the second chance I've always wanted. An' I thank ye all for that."

"Well, I think you deserved it." 002 reasoned in a proud tone; giving her his best smile.

0020 smiled sweetly at 002 and let his hand go to dart out in front of him. "Feel better now, sour patch?" She teased in a joking tone; hiding her hands behind her back.

002 leaned away from 0020 and gave her a surprised look. "How did you-? Did you just-? Wait-what?" He asked in a confused tone; studdering over his words. "Have you been sensing my emotions?"

0020 rolled her eyes and straightened her posture. "I don't need Empathy to know how ye feel, 002." She said as a matter of fact; now resting her hands behind her head and smirked up at him. "You're easy."

'… Keep holding on! …'

002 turned away from 0020 with a prideful huff.

0020 darted over to him and gave him a hug from behind. "I'm sorry if I offended ye, 002," she apologized in a pleading tone; pressing her cheek tightly against his back, "I really admire that about ye."

"R-really?" He asked in a surprised tone; looking down at her hands. "You really mean that?"

0020 tightened her arms around 002's middle. "Sure, I do, you big nut job! I spend so much time around ye that I know what you're feelin' just by lookin' at the expressions on your face!"

She then sighed and let him go. "What I'm tryin' to say is that I really, really like bein' 'round ye, 002."

002 couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "I really like being around you, too, 0020!" He said happily, turning around to give 0020 a bone-crushing hug.

While 002 and 0020 were having their "fluffy moment", 003, 004, and 009 were watching them from the window. They all looked over at one another with a proud smiles.

"I've never seen 002 look so happy!" 009 said in a shocked tone; keeping her eyes on the two outside.

"It looks like my "baby girl" is all grown up now!" 004 said in a joking tone; chuckling at the sight before him. "Now, I know how a father feels when his daughter brings home a boyfriend."

003 smiled fondly at the two outside. "They'd make a great couple!" She said in a motherly tone; moving away from the window. "I think 0020 is perfect for 002."

009 was about to say something to 003, but Doctor Gilmore walked into the room with a curious look on his face.

"Is something wrong, Doctor Gilmore?" He asked in a curious tone; watching the human looking around the room.

Doctor shook his head at 009 and smiled over at the young man. "No, I was going through one of the boxes you and 004 pulled down from the attic and found an old music book of mine and was wondering if 0020 might want to a few songs for us later on this evening." He said in a hopeful tone. "I knew she was helping you all decorate and was hoping to find her out here so I could ask her."

"Why not give it to her as a present?" 004 suggested with a casual shrug of his shoulders.

003 gasped in shock. "Oh, that reminds me! 0020 and I were going to take a break and go into town for a little last-minute shopping before we cook Christmas dinner for everybody!" She said excitedly; her eyes sparkling with joy.

"Mind if I tag along with you ladies?" 004 asked in a friendly tone; running his human hand through his hair. "I need to do a little shopping myself."

009 chuckled sheepishly at the others. "I actually haven't been able to get anything for 0020 for Christmas and was hoping for a little help." He admitted shamefully.

004 chuckled at the Japanese cyborg and leaned against the wall. "Don't feel bad, my friend," he said with a smirk, "I haven't had much luck with that, either."

003 shook her head at the two. "I'm sure 0020 won't mind. But we'd better hurry up and go before all the stores close for the holidays."

"I'll go bring the lovebirds in." 004 said in joking tone; walking over towards the front door.

003 smiled at the older cyborg and went over to the stairs; 009 hot of her heels. 004 opened the door and stepped outside. He looked around at all the decorations.

"Wow, guys," he said in an impressed tone; whistling at the sight around him, "you guys really fixed up the porch nicely. Very impressive."

0020 blushed and giggled at the older cyborg. "Thanks, 004, but we really didn't do much… just put up a few lights here and there…" She said in a modest tone; rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment.

'… Nobody said it was easy! …'

"Now, don't be modest, 0020! You have a very creative mind and are a very talented young woman!" 002 protested in a brotherly tone; ruffling her hair playfully.

004 chuckled at the two. "003 wanted me to come out here and see you still wanted to go into town before all the stores closed for the holidays."

"Oh, that's right! I need to get some extra things!" 0020 exclaimed in a surprised tone; turning to walk back into the house.

"009 and I are going, too, so you and 003 won't be alone." 004 added in a fatherly tone; wiggling his metallic fingers in front of his face. "Just in case."

0020 walked back to the house. "You and 009 are just going do to some last minute shopping, aren't you?" She replied in an all-knowing tone; putting her hands behind her head again and leaving the two in the snow.

004 studdered once and smirked at her retreating form. "She sure is smart as a whip, isn't she?" He asked in a proud tone; running a hand through his hair while he rested the other on his hip.

"I think she's a very special woman!" 002 said in a dreamy tone; watching her walk back into the house with a fond smile on his face.

004 looked over at the younger cyborg for a moment, and seen the look on 002's face. He couldn't help the smirk forming on his own face.

"You must really think very highly of 0020, don't you?" He said in a teasing tone; placing his hands on his hips.

002 choked on his breath. "Wh-What? He cried out in shock; pounding on his chest. "What are you talking about?!"

004 chuckled and stood up straight. "It's no secret, my friend," he said in a fatherly tone, "I've been there before with my late wife. So, I know that look when I see it. Besides, everyone else can see it on your face as plain as day."

002 gasped and looked back at the house. "You don't think 0020 knows how I feel about her, do you?" He asked in a frantic tone; blushing madly at the thought.

004 shook his head in response. "She hasn't told me anything if she did." He said in a reassuring tone; shrugging his shoulders. "However, even if she does know, she'd keep it to herself in her own little attempt to try and be as "normal" as the rest of us."

'… Good company is always on the run… …'

002 sighed in relief. "I wonder if she knows…" He said in a thoughtful tone; wincing at the idea of getting caught.

"Why not just tell her how you feel?" 004 asked in a logical tone; looking over at 002 with a curious expression in his eyes.

"But what if she doesn't like me the same way I do?" 002 asked in a shameful tone; looking down at himself.

"You really think 0020 would do something like that to you? Or anyone one of us for that matter?" 004 challenged with an all-knowing smirk playing across his face.

002 looked over at the German cyborg with a surprised look on his face. He was about to say something, but 004 cut him off.

"I mean, it's true enough that she never really felt love from her real family or anyone back at her homeland, but I truly want to believe that she's come a long way since then… So, there's a good chance that she might very well return your feelings."

002 narrowed his eyes suspiciously at 004. "And you'd be okay with that? I mean, 0020 and I are from two completely different times for crying out loud! Technically, I'm older than her by well over 60 years!" He protested angrily at himself; his hands rolling into tight fists. "And let's not forget that you call her your daughter, 003 and 009 have adopted her as their younger sister. Heck, I've even heard 007 claim her as his niece whenever we're at the resturaunt for Pete's sake!"

004 chuckled and folded his arms over his chest. "It's true we all adopted 0020 in our own little way, however, that shouldn't stop you… Unless, you hurt her in any… we won't stop you."

002 huffed and began walking away from 004. "I'd rather kill myself than let anything or anyone hurt 0020 if I could help it!" He declared in an offended tone; not looking back at 004, as he walked up the steps.

004 unfolded his arms and followed after 002. "Good answer." He teased in a proud tone; walking up the steps and following him into the house.

Once the two male cyborgs made it inside, they found 0020 walking down the stair. She wore her hair in a tight American braid that ended to her rear, and had a simple pair of jeans and a pair of black arm warmers that easily covered the scars on her arms. She wore gray colored boots, and a powdery pink tank top. She had her old pocket watch hanging from the front right beltloop. She also had a pair of Doctor Gilmore's old reading glasses shielding her eyes.

She looked up at the two males with a bright pink blush playing on her cheeks. She didn't say anything and let her head hang low, as she stood before them.

The two were about to ask her what was wrong, but looked up the stairs to see 003 and 009 walking down them with nervous smiles on their faces.

"Come on, 0020," 003 protested in a motherly tone, stopping on the step that 0020 was standing on, "I think it makes you look smarter and no one will recognize you this way!"

"No offense, 0020, but you look older than you really are, but in a good way!" 009 added nervously; shaking at the fear of making the girl angry about her age.

003 looked over at the two at the foot of the steps with a pleading look. "You two think she looks nice, don't you?" She asked in a motherly tone; placing her hands on the other girl's shoulders. "I bet you both hardly recognized her at first glance, didn't you?"

The two cyborgs looked over at the blonde and seen a pleading expression on her face. They looked over at 009 and seen that he was gesturing towards the girl in front of him with his eyes so she wouldn't notice.

"Well, you certainly had me going for a moment!" 004 said in a lazy tone; shrugging his shoulders, and smiling up at 0020 when he saw the blush on her face deepen.

"Thanks, I guess..." 0020 mumbled in an embarrassed tone; not looking up at anyone around her.

002 smiled held his hand out for her. "I can't argue with them on this one, 0020," he said with an honest smile on his face when she took his hand in hers. "I likethe way you look."

004 smiled and walked over to the closet and began pulling out their coats. It's not that they really need the extra layer of clothing on the account that they don't get cold like normal humans, but it helps them blend into the crowd a lot better. He handed 009 his and 003's coats, and took out 002's and 0020's and handed them to 002 with a twisted smirk before he quickly turned around to retrieve his own.

After 009 helped 003 into her coat and him into his own, he turned to the others with a happy grin. "I'm gonna go on ahead outside and wait for you guys to checkup!" He said before he darted out the door.

"Not before me, you don't!" 003 shouted in protest as she quickly followed after him; not bothering to close the door behind her.

004 chuckled and shook his head at the two fleeting cyborgs. "I'd better go check up to them before we lose them in the city." He said in a weary tone; closing the door behind him and calling after them as he went.

002 waited till he heard the door click shut; before he turned his head back to 0020. "I guess we'd better hurry if we don't want lose the rest of the heard." He said as he opened her jacket out for her.

0020 smiled sweetly at 002 and turned around in front of him. He smiled fondly at the girl when she slid her arms through the sleeves. "I mean what I said, you know." He said in a content tone; watching her pull her long hair out of her jacket.

"Huh?" 0020 asked in a curious tone; looking up at 002 with her head tilted to the side.

"I meant it when I said that I like the way you look." 002 said with a blush; looking away from her for a moment. "I think you look better with glasses… Not that you look any different without them!"

0020 giggled and blushed at the younger man's attempt at being sweet. "Well, thank ye, 002!" She said in a happy tone; giving him a warm smile. "If you like the way I look in glasses; then I s'pose I could get used ta wearin' them."

She then shook her blush away from her face. "Come on, 002, let's go!" She said in a cheerful tone; grabbing him by the arm.

002 blushed and smiled at the female. He laughed and let her drag him out the door; enjoying the attention he was getting from the object of his affections. He couldn't help the huge smile that played on his face, while they raced alongside one another towards the others waiting for them by the road.

It was like he had just found a piece of his life that was missing for so long. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of spending time in 0020's company. He felt so at peace with the world whenever she was in his arms. He loved everything about her. From the gray mass of hair that sprouted from her scalp with dark red bangs framing her face perfectly, to the thick Irish accent that shown through her voice as clear as his harmonica. He relished in the fact that she was a talented athlete and was happy to know that she still managed to retain all of her human habits like drinking coffee or her morning stretches. He loved watching her skate in the ice rink and thought she sang like an angel. But he was attracted to her personality more than anything.

At first, 0020 was like a shy mousy little girl that was so scared. He felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness over the girl. He saw a dying light in the girl's eyes every time he looked into them that he instantly wanted to keep shining for as long as he could. He felt his heart shatter into a million pieces when he found out about 0020's past life and could hardly keep himself from crying for her.

If there was only one thing 002 could change about 0020, was the fact that she still retained her insomnia as a human. He still didn't approve of her lack of rest, but he had to let that one go. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't go to sleep like the lot of them could. Plus, he knew what would happen on the very few occasions that she actually was able to fall asleep.

0020 was a sleepwalker. He would wake up in the mornings on the nights that she slept and find. her and whoever found her sitting at the kitchen table with coffee in their hands and 0020 looking like a child being scolded. He didn't believe them at first until he woke up one morning to see 003 or 009 standing in the doorway with 004 carrying 0020 in his arms or on his back.

But despite all that, he still loved her. She was his missing half. His soul mate. His best friend. Nothing about her is going to change how he feels for her. And he hoped she returned his feelings. He also hoped that he would have enough courage to tell her how he felt before Christmas was over. But hey, Christmas was made for wishes and miracles, right?

Good luck, 002!

TPW: I know I'm being a pain with the cliffhanger here, but give me a break! This chapter IS 15 pages long for crying out loud!
009: *whistles* Wow, wolf, that's a pretty long chapter!
003: You really put in a lot of work in this chapter, wolf!
TPW: *blushes* Thanks, 003! You're just so sweet!
007: I'm a little sad that we're not included in this chapter, though.
008: Yeah, what's up with that?! Are we not good enough now or something?!
TPW: *rolls her eyes* I just wanted to make a christmas chapter (or two) with 002 and 0020 centered in it. If you don't like it, I could always have you killed off before you ever hope to see the end of the story.
008: *backs away nervously* N-no. That's okay, wolf… I'll just shut up and stay out of your way.
TPW: *sighs* Well, it's a start. *turns to 005 with a sweet smile* Would you mind doing the disclaimer this time? I don't want to ask the little guppy cowering in the corner.
005: *nods and turns to the readers* The Paper Wolf doesn't own Cyborg 009 or anything else affiliated with the series or franchise. She just owns Noa/0020 and the story she is writing for .
TPW: *waves to the readers* Well, this is The Paper Wolf signing off for now! Please read and review and feel free to drop me by any ideas or anything you might want to see happen in the story. Thanks for reading and I hope you've enjoyed your stay inside "Blood Soaked & Honor Bound"! Until next time, readers!

And remember, smile until you stop…