It Takes Time
By: Le tired
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or its characters, blah blah blah, etc.
Rated: M.
Author's Notes: More inspiration from awful filler episodes, specifically the Halloween one (episode 304)! But how cute was Hitsugaya when Matsumoto was petting him?! Could…not…resist. I mean, the story takes place sometime in the fall, right? The super sappy part of me wanted to write my own ideas of how they might celebrate Valentine's Day and White Day (a common plotline for fics, I know), but alas, I'm pretty sure they fight Aizen before then, so I wanted them to celebrate some autumn-y holidays together at the very least!
As I said in the last update, I'm going to be writing more about the deepening feelings between the lead characters. Hopefully, it won't come out too heavy-handed—I'm sprinkling it in with humorous action to balance it out. I think even when you're "in love" with someone, there are different gradients that you can discover. This is sort of the moment I think most people encounter and can relate to—when you realize you care enough about a person that it's changing you and opening you up to a whole new world of emotional vulnerability. And it's doubly hard for Hitsugaya and Matsumoto because they've been friends for so long it's kind of an awkward transition. Plus, they're noobs when it comes to serious romantic relationships and while they both know in theory how a relationship works, I don't think they're entirely prepared for the emotional journey. So, those are my thoughts, and the approach I'm taking.
(And, on a less related rant of sorts, I am very confused why Hinamori was in that Halloween episode. She had like one line, and it wasn't even to Hitsugaya; they had literally NO interaction. It's like the animators wanted to include her in the story but had no idea what to do with her if she's not being hurt either emotionally or physically; I guess you can't blame them, Kubo Tite has done nothing with her. I could almost consider it as an argument against the HitsuHina pairing, but I take no joy in the fact because it's more rage-inducing than anything else to see Hinamori's potential as a character wasted.)
kriitikko: Haha very close guess! My squealing fangirl side would love to have Hitsugaya wearing the outfit and that was what I wanted to go with originally, but in the end, the realistic writer side of me saw it as too unlikely; I think even Hitsugaya has his limits :P. But Matsumoto and I settled for the next best thing!
Prince of Winter Dragons: Thanks again for the review! Haha the toilet paper thing has happened to me before, and I remember thinking, 'This is so not romantic or sexy'… so naturally, I wanted to write about it XD. As for the Halloween idea, I can't take too much credit for it. I blame Kubo Tite for drawing that cover where they're all in costumes and then they went ahead and animated an episode from it—that's just crackfic fuel!
Michele Uchiha: Thank you for another review! I haven't thought much about who else Hinamori could go with, but Kira is a good choice! I also agree that Kubo Tite does not portray age as a real issue in the manga—Isshin fell in love with Masaki, who he met when she was still a teenager, and Unohana acknowledges Zaraki as a man and her equal though he was still a child when they met. It seems very clear that as long as someone has grown and demonstrated maturity, Shinigami don't care about age. I think people who argue against HitsuMatsu are projecting their own preferences for a traditionally older man with a younger woman as the ideal couple, which is fine, but I also find it a little sad when you realize people are dictating and ruling out relationships based off age or appearance instead of emotional compatibility.
Chapter 34
"I'm home!" Matsumoto called as she let herself back into the apartment. "I finished my patrol without incident, taichou! …ah? Hitsugaya-taichou?"
The entranceway was still dark. And there were no sounds of stirring from the rooms beyond the hall. "Hmm, is he still out? How boring! Well! I guess I'll unwind a little by myself then!"
She put away her new clothes, cutting off their tags and disposing of the shopping bags they came in. Hitsugaya would probably notice the new outfits anyway—especially since she'd run out of room a while ago and was now using his designated drawers—but she shouldn't make it too easy for him.
Then, she went ahead and took a long, indulgent soak in the tub with a sandalwood and lemon bath melt that left her skin positively effervescent and silky soft, and finished with a tall helping of ice-cold milk she drank straight from the carton (something else sure to irritate her captain if he found out…but what he didn't know wouldn't kill him). Finally, she sauntered into the living room, still carrying the almost-finished milk carton, and flopped into a chair in blissful and total relaxation.
"Aahh, this is the best!" She looked around the room, fondly taking in its furniture and other knickknacks. Orihime's furniture and knickknacks. In Orihime's living room, in Orihime's apartment, she had to remind herself. It had only been a few weeks since they'd come to the human world, but it was funny how quickly Matsumoto had come to regard this comely little flat as her home. Hers and Hitsugaya's.
She'd been ecstatic when she saw her captain had resigned himself to staying with her at Orihime's. After all their shared hours working in their shared division headquarters, sometimes even pulling all-nighters for her delayed paperwork, it sure felt like they lived together half the time anyway. But now, some of the time they spent together would have to be in leisure, and not just administrative chores, and a myriad of fun scenarios had immediately popped into Matsumoto's head, where they could play the lovebird couple, and she'd even gone so far as to try out a few of them.
It was such a pity they hadn't played out the way she'd seen them do in her TV dramas or romance novels; if her captain paid any attention to those shows (and he'd been in the room a few times while she was watching so surely he was culpable in her eyes), he'd know, for example, that he was supposed to thank her for cooking him those scrambled eggs.
"Thank you, Matsumoto," he was supposed to say after finishing the entire plate with a deeply appreciative sigh. "These were the most delicious scrambled eggs I've ever had." He'd then smile teasingly at her. "Whoever marries you is a lucky man indeed to be able to eat your cooking every day."
"Oh, taichou!" She'd blush and turn away.
"Tell me your secret." He'd stand up and come from behind to embrace her. "What do you put in those eggs that make them so delicious?"
And she'd whisper back shyly, even as she turned back towards him for a kiss, "…love."
Or maybe, he should have let her feed him a bite.
"Say ahh~, taichou," she'd say sweetly, hovering a spoon towards him.
"Ahh~" he'd respond, closing his eyes happily as he took a bite.
"How was that, taichou?"
"It's very good. Then again, I like anything that Matsumoto feeds me," he'd respond with a flirtatious wink.
"Oh, taichou!"
"Though…" he'd go on to add, slyly, "what I really want to taste is Matsumoto herself."
"Ahh, hentai!" She'd blush and try to get away, and then maybe they would laugh and chase each other around the room for a little before falling into bed where he'd get that taste of Matsumoto.
…okay, so maybe those scenes were a little unrealistic. Maybe Hitsugaya would sooner send Aizen New Year's greeting cards before he ever talked like that—and that was good, in reality, because men who played coy struck Matsumoto as cowards and weak-willed and were altogether a huge turnoff; it was only fun to force Hitsugaya into these positions because they were so outrageous. But they were funny as hell.
So, she was definitely getting her fair share of entertainment from the current living arrangement, as she'd expected with much glee. What she hadn't entirely expected to get, on the other hand, was the new sense of contentment and belonging she now felt living with her taichou—to the point she had to remind herself this wasn't how it'd always been and how it was meant to be.
She didn't know where this sense had come from. As far as she knew, nothing had discernibly changed. Their daily household tasks were a little different, and it pleased Matsumoto to see Hitsugaya flounder with some of the modern day equipment and trivial mundanities; she got the very rare chance to feel a little superior (all her interest and shopping trips to the real world finally paid off!), and she found it strangely cute and heartwarming that he too had his imperfect moments, though with anyone else, she would have just been exasperated and disdainful at their ignorance. But for the most part, there was little variation—she lazed around and annoyed him, he yelled at her and then did the work himself.
It was curious, the more she thought about it. Again, by the sheer quantity of time they'd spent around each other over the decades, she and Hitsugaya had essentially become roommates in that long-standing tenth division office of theirs. They knew each other's habits and pet peeves and personal flaws. Living together really shouldn't be anything new. There was, of course, now the added factor of romantic development, but Matsumoto didn't think that could have much bearing in how they'd always shared living space; perhaps it was unimaginative or short-sighted of her, but it didn't occur to her how they could become more intimate than they already were sharing meals and bedding on a regular basis. They were like an old couple, in this respect. Where living together was a huge step for most young people in burgeoning relationships, she and Hitsugaya had already done so for ages. And when you'd been roommates—splendid and highly compatible roommates, mind you, who did most everything (and sometimes naughty things) together—for so long, what more could there be?
Apparently, a great deal more. At least, so it seemed for Matsumoto. It was something wholly intangible, and she couldn't name it or even be sure of its existence, but she thought she felt it strongest in the mornings as they were waking up. At the start of the mission, they'd woken separately; other than that one time she made breakfast, Hitsugaya was the earlier riser and up and working usually an hour or so before she ever opened an eye. But in more recent days, it seemed they'd become more synchronized to each other's sleep schedule—she seemed to wake a little earlier all on her own, and he was able to sleep in longer. It was never clear to her if they were taking turns waking each other with their movements, or if they really were awakening at the same time. All she knew was that every morning, now, along with the warm dance of brightening sunlight on her face, she felt her captain's stirring reiatsu as he roused out of slumber in tandem with her. Even as she stretched, she would feel him shift under the blankets. They would turn and their eyes would meet. She would, as she'd always done when she saw him for the first time each day, greet him with a hearty, "Good morning, taichou!" And he'd reply, "Good morning, Matsumoto." And then they'd get up and start their day.
But not before staring at one another one second longer. Sometimes even a few seconds longer. And maybe she was imagining it, but during that suspended moment that lasted no more than a few breaths, she thought she saw peace and satisfaction in Hitsugaya's eyes. As if he might have been content to just lie there next to her and just look at her all day. Once, he'd started to move his arm in her direction—she wanted to believe it was to touch her but maybe he'd just been getting up—and then his eyes had widened a little and he'd stopped himself.
Was she imagining it? She probably was. But it didn't change what she was feeling.
She felt it when they were finishing dinner, and Hitsugaya would silently get up and take her plate along with his back to the sink. And she felt it when she'd start to stretch out on the sofa before the TV set, and she saw him frown and lift one arm to rest on top of the cushions to make room for her head in his lap before she'd actually gotten into his personal space and made the demand for herself. And she felt it when she was lying there, nuzzled against him, hungrily drinking in the feel of his body that was paradoxically warm yet cool due to the reiatsu enfolding him to the point she couldn't remember what show she'd been watching. In those moments, it felt as if the last piece of a puzzle had fallen into place, and she was that piece finally fitting into the spot meant for her. This was where she belonged—who she belonged with. So long as she had Hitsugaya, she was home.
It had never been quite like that with Gin. She'd also lived with him, of course, in Rukongai, and they'd been perfectly happy. She'd certainly felt at the time she belonged with him and no other. But Gin had maintained his distance in a way that Hitsugaya—for all his cold silences, threatening glares, or formal speech patterns—could never do. Gin hadn't let her see what it would actually be like to share a life together with him. Gin had also been home to her, but home with Gin had often been a dark and empty Rukongai shack because he'd left again for destinations and reasons unknown. With Gin, there was no one waiting for Matsumoto—no one to yell at her if she came back late from shopping, no one to squabble over space on the sofa with, no one to shout through the bathroom door that she was taking too damn long, no one demanding the rest of her laundry because he was running the machine now. With Gin, she'd still felt alone.
And maybe that was a good thing. Because it was downright terrifying—the realization that Hitsugaya could feel even more right in her life than he already did. That she could now picture a life where she saw him first thing when she woke, and lastly when she went to sleep every night—where he was beside her for every moment, every breath (likely yelling at her)—and she loved it. Craved it. Never wanted it to end.
She was deluding herself. This wasn't home. She wasn't living a newlywed's life with Hitsugaya, they were just temporarily bunking together. And as blissful and safe as she felt with her loving and giving taichou, a lifetime by his side and in his heart was far from a surefire thing. She was getting worked up all on her own here, dreaming about an eternity together as lovers from a few simple gestures from him that he probably had given no thought to.
Ah well. She'd enjoy the ride while it lasted—treasure this feeling of being real lovers, of finding someone with who all her happiness lay, since none of it was probably real. If she lived long enough anywhere with anyone, it'd doubtlessly start to feel like home. That had to be it. No need to get carried away.
Her phone rang, putting an end to her reverie. "Hello?"
"Matsumoto?" She could feel herself grinning into the receiver. It seemed her captain had remembered a little of their prior heart-to-heart about calling in person. That cozy, happy feeling came over her again, and she unconsciously pressed into her chest with one hand to steady the thumping of her heart while she responded.
"Ah, taichou! What is it? I thought you'd be back by now."
"I'm going to do one more patrol circle around the town. Do you remember how Madarame and Ayasegawa mentioned noticing an increased frequency in Hollow appearances lately? It's something that's been on my mind as well, so I'm going to take one more look around."
"All right. Do you want me to join you, taichou?" She assumed that had to be the reason he was calling in. Her taichou believed in purpose and efficiency; he didn't do pointless phone-ins.
"No, that's not necessary. I should be fine." She could hear the wind howling in the background. He was probably standing somewhere high up so he could have the best vantage possible from which to survey the town. A telephone pole, maybe. Or the rooftop of a tall building. "We need dinner, don't we?"
"Eh? Oh, yeah." She glanced towards the refrigerator but didn't open it, since she already knew the bare shelves she'd see, now minus one milk carton. "Shall I run out to the store and buy us some bento, taichou? Or do you want me to cook us something?" she teased.
"No, I can grab it on my way home." He'd ignored her jibe, but she could hear his voice lower in irritation, and she had to smile, mission accomplished. But didn't just about everything he did make her smile? Matsumoto Rangiku, you're turning into such a goof. "Is there anything you want in particular?"
Oh yeah, hey, how about you, taichou? Your love and promise to stay with me forever. Can you pick that up for me? Matsumoto shook her head and snorted a little at her own silliness.
"Matsumoto?"
"Ah, get me something with squid please, taichou! Squid is so delicious, and I have this craving for it right now."
"All right."
"If not, tempura works too! And could you grab me a fried rice onigiri too?"
"All right."
"Oh! And barley tea please!"
"All right."
"And actually, we might be running out of toothpaste, so can you buy some while you're there?"
"…all right."
"And if you see any of the latest Vivi fashion magazines, please get one for me!"
"…"
"I almost forgot! There's also dessert! But I don't know what I'm in the mood for, actually. Mmm…"
"…Matsumoto."
"Yes, taichou?"
"The more you talk, the later the hour you actually get dinner."
"Aww, sorry taichou. It's just so nice to hear your voice, you know!" she admitted, but made sure to keep the tone light and hopefully not like that of a super clingy girlfriend, even if that was what she was steadily turning into. "It's great talking like this over the phone, isn't it?" She also decided it best not to tell him she'd happily forego dinner altogether if they meant they could keep talking.
"You're going to see me in person soon enough, Matsumoto." Hitsugaya's voice struck just the right tenor to sound both exasperated and reprimanding, but it lacked the hard edge it took on when he was truly angry. Instead, Matsumoto thought she detected a bit of embarrassed affection. Then again, she could have just been fooling herself.
"I hope so! I'm staaarrving and it's all because I'm waiting on you, taichou! I bet Ikkaku and Yumechika ate already!"
"Matsumoto…"
"Yes, yes, all right, taichou. Have a good patrol—ah wait! I thought of one more thing that I want!"
There was a silence, then a barely audible mix of a sigh and groan. He could always tell when she was about to goad him; one of these days she'd have to figure out how. "What, Matsumoto?"
"Chocolates, taichou! Chocolates and a dozen roses, please?"
Hitsugaya promptly hung up.
So her beloved Hitsugaya-taichou would be back in an hour or so, it seemed, and then they could have dinner. Matsumoto was looking forward to it.
"But how shall I entertain myself until then?" she mused aloud. No one answered her from the empty living room where she stood.
She'd finished reading all her magazines, and she'd redone her nails just the other day. The good TV shows didn't come on for a while longer, and besides, she liked waiting to watch with her captain. In truth, he rarely watched with her; instead, he read a book from Orihime's vast and eclectic collection or worked on reports on his phone or stared into space thinking whatever geniuses thought about, but he always sat with her and it'd become a ritual for her anyway.
Finally, Matsumoto went back and rifled through her new outfits, holding them up against her in front of a mirror and preening happily for a bit at her lovely reflection. It was said that impulse buyers often felt regret for poor decision-making they committed in their purchases, but this was definitely not the case for Matsumoto. She was in love with every single acquisition.
Except maybe one. Matsumoto glanced back down at the crumpled nondescript bag she'd asked for in the costume store (if Hitsugaya saw a bag saying 'Costumes' lying around, he would undoubtedly investigate and then he'd murder her); it lay where she'd stashed in the back corner of her closet, where Hitsugaya would hopefully never care to look. She knelt down and dug out the wolfman costume. Holding up the matching headband and seeing the attached furry white lupine ears still made her smile.
It was such a shame. Why couldn't her captain like dressing up just a little? It wasn't like he had to go out in it or anything. She just wanted to see him once in it.
Suddenly, an idea came to her. "Taichou's gigai!"
Excitedly, she punched in her captain's number.
"Hello?"
"Taichou! I hope your patrol is going well!"
"It's you again, Matsumoto? What is it?"
"I'm sorry, I just need to borrow your gigai for a bit! Can you send it back to Orihime's while you're still on patrol?"
"My gigai? Don't you have your own? Has something come up?"
"Mm, yes, I'm in my gigai right now! But it's your gigai that I need! It's suuper important! And you don't really need it for anything right now, do you? It's just standing around somewhere while you bounce off rooftops in spirit form, isn't it?" Unlike Matsumoto who liked being in her gigai (it was the only way she could shop around after all and it was fun mingling in the hustle and bustle of the humans), her captain seemed to view the artificial bodies as somewhat of a nuisance. A gigai to Hitsugaya meant he could be seen (and mistaken for an elementary school student) and couldn't act or use his abilities as freely as he might like. He dutifully stuck around in it most of the time, and even did regular patrols on the street in it, but he almost always ended up doing a final inspection in spirit form at nighttime, when Hollows were most likely to manifest. And who could blame him? He was the one being held responsible for the safekeeping of an entire mortal city now.
"And dinner? I can't buy anything in this form."
"Tell the gikon to grab it on the way over! That should save you even more time, taichou!"
"…" She could practically see Hitsugaya frowning on the other end, trying to figure out what asinine plot she was cooking this time, but ultimately lacking the imagination to conceive of the possibility that his lieutenant might want to dress his gigai up as a wolfman. "My gikon…isn't the most intellectually keen. I'm not sure it'll understand more complex instructions."
"It'll be fine, just fine!" Matsumoto urged. "Can't you have a little more faith, taichou? You're so mistrusting!"
"This absolutely cannot wait until I get back?" He still had his misgivings, but he was also counting the minutes wasted arguing with her in the back of his mind. Sooner or later he'd conclude his time was better spent doing other things. So she just had to outwait him.
"No, really, it's sort of time-sensitive, taichou. I'd like to finish before you get back."
There it was—the sigh of defeat from her captain sounding over the line. "Fine. I'll instruct the gikon to buy dinner and return to you."
"Thank you, taichou!" She pumped one first into the air in victory, mouthing a silent 'yes!'.
"Matsumoto?"
"Yes, taichou!"
"I'm warning you, don't do anything ridiculous."
"That's mean, taichou! You're being all mistrusting again! You know I'd never do anything ridiculous!"
He hung up again.
Hitsugaya's gigai showed up on the doorstep twenty minutes later, looking confused. Its head was lowered, shoulders hunched tensely, and even the spikes of its hair seemed to droop in uncertainty. "I-I'm back, as instructed." Hitsugaya's normally sharp and fearless aquamarine eyes were quivering moistly with worry and doubt. "I think I did the right thing…probably."
Wow. Matsumoto stared. No wonder Hitsugaya had been so worried about the gikon making it back on its own. At the same time, the sight of her taichou all vulnerable and looking to her with googly eyes for guidance was…
"CUTE! Too cute!" She pulled the gigai in for a huge, squeezing hug. "Ahh, taichou, why can't you act like this for me now and then!?"
But there was no time to waste on hypotheticals. Hitsugaya was surely finishing up his patrol. Matsumoto grabbed the gigai by its shoulders and propelled it into the bedroom where she shook out the costume. It took a little coaxing, but the nervous and very confused soul finally put it on.
It was everything Matsumoto had hoped for. With the plastic headband hidden by Hitsugaya's unruly white locks, the ears looked like they might really have belonged on him the whole time. They were big and soft with pink lining, and they totally added to her captain's already adorable appearance. It also helped that the soul currently inhabiting the gigai was looking at her with wide, vulnerable puppy eyes, as if asking what next?
What next indeed? Really, when you had Hitsugaya Toshirou looking like a fluffy white dogboy (if the wolfman costume was meant to achieve a fearsome, savage appearance, then its designers had failed miserably) before your very eyes, willing to submit to your every whim, there was only one reasonable course of action to take.
"All right now, wolfman Hitsugaya, I'm your mistress. That means you have to obey me and do whatever I say. Because I'm your mistress. Is that clear?"
"Y-yes." Wolfman Hitsugaya stared at her in awe and with just the tiniest bit of fear.
"Say 'yes, mistress'," she corrected him with an encouraging smile.
"Y-yes, mistress."
Ahh, her captain's voice was so cute when it stuttered like that! "Don't worry, I won't be mean to you. I'm a good mistress." She laughed and patted the gigai assuringly on the head, enjoying the feel of Hitsugaya's thick locks running between her fingers. "And you're a good boy, aren't you?"
"Y-yes, mistress."
Matsumoto giggled and held out her hand. "Shake."
"Shake?" Wolfman Hitsugaya echoed, looking lost. He looked at her upturned palm, then up at her. His eyes grew even wider. "I don't…I'm not sure…"
"Shake my hand," Matsumoto clarified patiently.
He put his gloved hand on top of hers. If the ears had been real, they'd have perked in wary curiosity.
"Good boy, good boy! Now…shall we play fetch?"
This was too precious! Matsumoto thought she'd crack a rib laughing as much as she did, watching her pointy-eared taichou run around after a ball, making rather confused barking sounds. She absolutely needed to make this a regular thing—convincing Hitsugaya to leave his gigai in her care. Then, she could really have fun dressing him up in cute clothes and having him do whatever she wanted. The possibilities were endless. It was just perfect!
Of course, taken away completely by delight and exhilaration at this new prospect, she didn't quite hear the opening and closing of the door when Hitsugaya finally returned.