A Pain to come
"HE WHAT?!"
I glared furiously now at the little green imp, who had only a few moments ago caught my surprise. Now all he was to receive was my fury. What right had Sesshomaru to call on us? All of us... If this was an important call of the Lords of the Lands, I could understand the call on Satoru and me. But what was his interest in having all of our children join him. Wait, both, he said. He referred to the children as being only two, meaning, he knows of only Itachirou and Naiera. The others are beyond his mind, does he know of my marriage to Satoru. Does he know my position? What about Satoru?
Within me these pains were expressed. My heart began to ache at the thoughts of harm coming to Satoru… or my children. As any mother would, the thought that harm would come to any of them, particularly to me at the hands of Sesshomaru, sent my blood boiling.
"Thank you, Master Jaken… and the instructions upon your deliverance of this letter?"
"I am to accompany you there and back Lord Satoru."
"Then I will not keep you from your master long, Jaken. As I am sure that you wish to return to Sesshomaru."
"Y-Yes, Lord Satoru." Jaken bowed slightly.
Satoru chuckled lightly.
"Very well. We shall depart at sunrise. Jaken, there is a servant who will take you to your quarters for tonight, after I have accompanied you to the dining hall. You have had a long journey I am sure. However, I will ask that you excuse my wife and family for not joining you, they are in need of much rest if they are to make such a journey?"
"Yes milord."
Satoru rose from his place, as he walked toward the door, he gestured for me to follow.
"I bid you a goodnight, Jaken." I bowed respectfully before locking my arm around Satoru's, wondering why it was that he chose to accept his invitation, knowing full well the past that we shared. His friendliness towards the small demon did not go unnoticed either. I bid my husband a goodnight, on the off chance that I would be asleep upon his return.
In the safety of our room, I buried myself beneath the covers, hoping that tonight was a dream. I would awaken tomorrow, safe within the walls of my palace, not that of a demon with the narrow eyes of Sesshomaru. My children would not be under scrutiny by the Lord of the Western Lands. I sighed at that foolish thought. What lingered in Satoru's past that had him act in such a way with Lord Sesshomaru? Was he frightened of him? Though I hate to deny it, I think of him often, and Satoru is almost equal? I hoped to myself. My eyes grew heavy in the warmth of the room, lit dimly by the furnace in the small corner. I threw the blankets from me as I walked toward the window, finally giving up on the thought of sleep.
I sat on the wooden frame, staring into the emptiness of the crescent moon; an eternity it seemed had passed, since I had seen that once sacred symbol that haunted my every dream.
The sun continued to climb high above the mountains as I rolled the blankets up, placing them back in the small bag I had taken to carrying. Mostly occupied by the medicine I had made for Master Jaken, as he seemed to always get rocks thrown at him. I threw the bag over my shoulder happy and certain that today was going to be beautiful.
"Lord Sesshomaru."
"Yes, Rin?" He asked adjusting his armor.
I tightened the obi of my kimono before turning to stand before him.
"May I eat breakfast?"
"Fend for yourself once we have returned to Jaken."
"Aye, milord."
"Rin… You will have to drop that act. It is the attitude of a child."
I smiled. "You are funny Lord Sesshomaru. If I was no longer myself, I would be like you and never smile… Come to think of it." I put my finger to my chin. "Master Jaken does not smile either. Maybe he does not like me."
"Enough Rin."
I crossed my arms and pouted, as another question broke through the lines of my thoughts into my words.
"Lord Sesshomaru, did you forget me when you stopped your journeys to the village?"
"Do not ask foolish questions Rin."
"Foolish questions from a foolish girl." I laughed, ignoring the slight glare in his eyes, I was more curious as to why he was so fascinated. "Why do you look at me that way?"
As if in a daze, he stood frozen, staring intently into my eyes. A river of warmth coursed through me. He stared at me in the silence of the afternoon, ignorant it seemed, to anything that might have approached us. It was a look that I had never seen before; my body was in battle with my mind. Part of me wished to kiss him, to hold him, and tell him that I loved him. My mind argued that he was looking at me with a frightful hunger, a desire that rivaled even mine, in a way other than mine.
"Lord Sesshomaru?"
He stared blankly at me before turning his head, then his whole body from me.
"Come, Rin."
I smiled as I skipped behind him.
"Yes, milord."
Our time passed in more silence as we continued our walk, to the place where Jaken sat waiting for us, as he did almost every night, far beyond the limits of Lord Sesshomaru and I. Pleased with the beauty of this morning, I skipped passed Lord Sesshomaru, and danced as he continued his normal pace. The sunlight warmed my skin at the touch of its small fingers. The soft grass flattened beneath my feet, even the occasional flower, which I would try to skip over. It was hard to crush anything as beautiful as the red roses that I saw here.
"Lord Sesshomaru."
"What is it, Rin?"
"Will we be together forever and ever?"
With a moment's hesitation, and the shock of the question I had asked having disappeared from his face. He spoke gently…
"You wish to leave?"
"NO! I merely mean to ask if we'll be together forever. I know it is a true child's question. And I know that I am also in between. I am merely fourteen, but I have seen enough in my life to know your view on humans and demons. I don't mind you being a demon. But, do you mind me being human? I know that there are some things I cannot give you. And whether you love me or not, I love you. For that reason, I want to know if we'll be together forever."
I stopped as he continued towards me, passing, not bothering to give me glance. At a fair distance, where he could just be heard.
"Don't fall behind, Rin."
Even as I grew, I could never understand that look in his eyes, but for a moment. Even in its smallest, one would think that he was happy. Yet, anyone who knew Sesshomaru would know that he is incapable of such an emotion. Still, that was the best advice he could have ever given me. 'Don't fall behind.' Not once was I able to stand beside Sesshomaru, nor even could I keep up, I was always behind. He saw me, no matter our relationship, he saw me beneath him, and it was nothing that could be changed in his eyes. With Satoru, I was his equal; we were always hand in hand, side by side. I smiled to myself as I thought of the first kiss Satoru and I had ever had. This kiss that I knew, I wanted forever. Blood rushed quickly to my cheeks at the thought.
"May I ask what you are thinking of?"
Satoru laughed as he entered the room, before placing me between his legs, within his arms around me as he now took my seat. His cheek leaned against mine as we stared into the star lit sky.
"Will you not tell me?" He whispered seductively into my ear.
"Satoru!" I yelled.
"I'm teasing." We both laughed as there came the hooting of the white barn owl that lingered around our house every winter. "Seriously," He mumbled against my skin. "Will you not tell me?"
"I was thinking of our first kiss." I admitted weakly.
"Ahhh. Our wedding day, being our first kiss. The day under the cherry blossoms."
"Does not count." I laughed.
"I must disagree with you my lovely wife."
"I had to save you from fake drowning."
"Too drastic?" He asked sarcastically.
I shook my head at the crazy person he appeared to be sometimes.
"I do apologize." He laughed. "So, will you not ask how our meeting went?"
I turned to see him with a wide grin on my face.
"I thought it was only dinner."
"Precisely…" His arms tightened around me, his cheeks pressed against mine. His breath slowed and his voice dropped, from that playful tone I had known only moments ago. "I know Rin...That you do not truly wish to go. After all that has happened, I cannot blame you for choosing what you have. And for that I will give you a choice that I have given Naiera and Itachirou, though they do not comprehend the reason. They have chosen to follow, but you may remain here, if you so choose."
"I am your wife Satoru; I'll join you on your travel to the West."
"But I am giving you the choice."
I laughed.
"Rin. I am serious."
I laughed again as I explained that I knew. After a few moments of pain pinching my sides, I turned my body to face him. With the most serious, and heartfelt look, I took his hands in mine and made him look at me.
"You misunderstand Satoru. I am your wife, and I am going with you. No matter what problems may stand in my way. As long as you will wait for me, and even if you will not, until the end. I am with you."
He smiled widely at me.
"Your vow." Tears seemed towel in his eyes as he laughed.
"One of the many." I laughed in agreement.
He pulled his hands from mine, placing his within mine.
"I cannot imagine a life without you." His soft eyes, clear, and beautiful, pierced my soul again. One of the many times that we shared in the time that we had been married. Though it had been some time, it felt as if nothing had changed. We were still those same two at the bridge, under the beauty of the cherry blossom trees.
"I felt the same about you…once."
Echoes of shock soared through his mask sincerity, serenity and beauty.
"Once?" He gasped.
"Yes. I believe my feelings for you changed after the war of dessert stained my finest kimono, yesterday."
His face turned red with embarrassment. He scratched his head as he searched for the words that he hoped would make up for the casualty of war at yesterday's dinner.
"You need not try Satoru. I have many more."
He took a huge sigh of relief. Having learned a long time ago, that kimonos, jewelry, furs, or fashion, though they somewhat should to a woman in my particular position, meant nothing to me. The greatest thing in the world to me was my children, and a husband who loved not only all of us, but all of us. He loved the people that had blood flowing in their veins, people who loved him; he loved them not for what type of blood it was. Was that not what a father should be? Is that not who Satoru is? Itachirou and Naiera, Satoru is all they know. He is all that I know; I need nothing more in this world than him. After this visit, who knows, for them, how that may change.
"You need not concern yourself with the reactions of any other who does not belong to this family." He soothed. "We will do as we have always done."
"Follow your strict plans?" I asked sarcastically.
He jumped up with excitement. His body fixed as if he had had a revelation that was to change the world.
"I believe, this time, I have one that will work."
Right on cue, when Satoru had filled up his weekly bottle of serious, he hatched a plan to make up for all the childish acts he had failed to commit in that time. Or that was how he reasoned it, I knew that he just longed to be closer to the children, in any way that he could.
"Oh no..." I turned to walk quickly out the room; his arm snaked around my waist and turned me the opposite direction.
"This is a good plan." He assured more me than himself, which with him, was what one had to be concerned about.
"Satoru, you may be a good Lord. But we have a General. Utilize him."
"Rin, my dearest. I am certain that this will work."
"The same amount of certainty when you believed you chose the best way to get those cookies in your children's room. And who would believe that you had spent a month on that. Let us not forget the night you and the children burnt down the kitchen wing, when you tried to make those very cookies. I love you my sweet husband. But when it comes to our children, you are as utterly defenseless, as I am clueless at trying to get them to bathe."
"I will not be defeated by them. My revenge is imminent." He said to himself.
I shook my head. "As is your demise. It is far more likely that we will survive from our journey the Western Palace."
"Of course you will, because I will let nothing happen to you."
I smiled. "I know."
He turned with a pumped fist, mumbling to himself. "Now, I have a hostage."
"WHAT!" I screeched in terror.
Suddenly the sound of small feet came stampeding down the hall.
"WE'VE GOT YOU MOMMY!"
I rubbed the headache I could feel suddenly coming.