A lot of you guys are mad at me, and at Edward, for his very poor behavior last chapter. He's a man, he's drunk, and he's falling apart. Blame us for now, but he'll come around. This needed to happen for our little boy to realize how stupid he is. It'll work out. Promise.
Edward ran his fingers through his hair roughly; pulling so hard he was sure that he would be bald in the future. What was he going to do? In the beginning, this was exactly what he wanted to happen. He wanted Bella to hurt, hurt worse than he had when she left him, but now….all of his previous thoughts seemed to be so harsh. He watched her walk away quickly, watched as all of his hopes faded into the back of his mind. This isn't what he wanted. When he had pulled Tanya toward the car he had every intention to break it off with her. Or had he? He could barely even remember now. This isn't what he wanted.
"You knew she was there, didn't you?" His back was to Tanya, all of his built of rage threatening to come out if he saw her. "You knew she was standing there and that's why you did that." His hands were in tight fists, his nails cutting into the skin of his palms. The whole incident had sobered him up exponentially.
He turned toward the woman and saw her arms folded tightly across her chest, her eyes holding all the anger that he felt. "Of course I knew she was there, Edward." She stomped toward him, her hair wild. "I saw her the second you pulled me out of the house. It was just time for her to realize that you were mine now."
Edward slammed his hand into the roof of the car, sure that there would be a dent. "I'm not yours, Tanya." He spat. "I have always, and will always be hers."
Bella sat on the swing of her front porch, the breeze outside giving her bare arms goose bumps, but she barely noticed it. Her head was swarming with thoughts. She had known that Edward was here with another woman, she understood that it had been years and he had probably moved on, but seeing it right in front of her face hurt. Her chest heaved, her heart pounding so hard she was sure it would give out on her soon. She had really wanted to let Edward in, to let him be there for her. She really wanted him to be there for her, but it was obvious that he had an entire life that she could never be apart of. Bella was unsure on how long she had left, and pulling him away from anything would surely kill her. She didn't want to waste his time, she didn't want to waste his love, but her heart was begging, despite what she had seen, for her to let him in and enjoy what time she did have left. She had grown up knowing that she was unworthy, but when Edward pulled her into his arms earlier that day, she wanted nothing more then to forget everything her mother and Phil had told her and just let herself be with him…however, her life had happened, the past was still the present, her health had never been good, and she could truly never be with Edward.
"I didn't expect you to be awake." She was startled out of her thoughts by the voice of the same man she was thinking of. His eyes were puffy and red, his skin a shade paler than normal. She could see that he had been crying, but said nothing. It made her uncomfortable to think that he had shed tears over her, over someone who wasn't worth the trouble. It made her angry to think that he had shed tears over someone else. Over that girl.
"I don't really sleep much." Bella shrugged and wrapped her arms tightly around herself. "I feel like it's a big waste of time, and I don't have time left to waste."
Edward visibly stiffened at her comment, his eyebrows furrowing. He took a few steps closer to her, watching her face the entire time. "I really wish you'd stop thinking that."
His eyes bore into hers and for the first time in a long time, she didn't look away to avoid someone's gaze. "I cant be cured, Edward." She had come to this conclusion on her own, she had accepted it, and she expected those around her to accept it as well. It had been four years since the two had last seen each other and she didn't expect for him to walk back into her life and care about her. "I'm tired, Edward. I'm sick. Chemo made me wish I was already dead. The medicine made me feel like I wasn't here anymore, Charlie, Jake, everyone I know isn't a match for me. I don't have a chance." She let out a shaky breath and stood from her seat. "Don't waste your time on me." She walked toward the door, avoiding his eyes. "You have someone else to spend your time with now."
Edward reached out for her, his hand wrapping around her bruised wrist. "What about me?" his green eyes searched hers, searching her for an answer. "You said no one was a match, well, what about me?"