A Promise

We left our room not to long after we both found the strength to let go of each other. He would still leave, and my attempts to force him to promise to come back failed. We left the room walking down the hall for breakfast swinging our hands as if they were little kids, smiles as wide as our faces. Neither were enough to make me forget that fact that my husband had decided that there was no other alternative but for him to die so that he could save my life. In those romantic stories where the dangerous situation was always presented to the lovers with the question, will you send you or your lover to their death? Both would reply that they would rather die than make that choice. In my case, my lover chose death just to save my life, and that was more painful than being presented with the choice myself. I would have told him to choose the North, and save himself by taking a demon as a wife. There we were back in that situation, only we hadn't been given the luxury of such a choice. I would die over Satoru, and he would die over me, the fact that he was made my heart break even more. I could not pretend to smile and be happy when I was not, at the same time I was happy. Tonight it would end but I could not force myself into tonight, only right now and right now he was. His hand radiated a warmth that sent heat through my entire body. His smile sent my heart aflame. All I could do was give back a smile that he easily saw through.

As a last thought, I wondered if the kids knew. My question was soon answered when we entered the hall to find everyone seated and quiet. The food, still steaming, remained in it's pots, nothing on the table touched. The kids sat with their heads low, unable to make eye contact with their father. Naiera glanced at me quickly, as if wanting confirmation, which my expression gave and she turned away again. Sesshomaru sat at the head of the table. Itachirou and all the boys to his left, Naiera and all the girls to his right with an empty space nearest to us and another at this end of the table. Satoru did not move as he eyed all of his children, there was that look again. He helped me to my seat before taking his. He placed his hands on his knees, his eyes closed he took a deep breath. The earth stood still as neither of us could look at each other, no one spoke. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see tears in Sayuri's red eyes, she had been crying this morning. With a closer look, I noticed Matasumi and Naiera had as well. For their sake I hoped the redness in my eyes had faded. The boys were fine, I would expect nothing less than for them to try and be role models for their sisters. Itachirou I could see, kept a close watch on Naiera, and for a moment I thought I saw concern in Sesshomaru's eyes as he looked at both of them. My eyes found their way back to Satoru who finally opened them with a new sense of clarity. I knew he wanted to talk to them, when he looked to me I gave a small smile in agreement.

He attempted to put back that careless mask on but gave up the moment he realized what I already knew. They knew he was leaving, how much more they knew we could not be sure, but truth was the best option. He took my hand placing it on the table. I watched Sesshomaru's stare intensify.

"Sesshomaru, I would like to address an issue briefly."

"Do as you see fit."

He let out a deep breath. "I understand that you are all aware that I am leaving tonight."

It was Sayuri's light voice that pierced the silence.

"Daddy. Why?... Why are you going, daddy?"

"The Eastern and Southern lands have declared war. As Lord of the North, I must rally our forces and prepare for the blow we will receive."

"Father. Those two lands have been at peace with us for hundreds of years."

"Ichirou. Peace is not an everlasting thing, surely I have told you that. Things change."

"They cannot send you to war father. What about us?"

"I brought you all here to be safe, Matasumi. You will be safe."

"We will not feel safe with you gone." Atoru snapped.

"You said a true man does not resort to war when presented with other solutions! What are you teaching us now?"

"If I was presented with another solution I would have likely taken it."

"There is another solution. We can leave. Let all of us go to our house on the border."

I looked over at Naiera, whose head remained cast down. Her eyes lingered on her hands clenching the fabric of her kimono. She was probably taking this harder than anyone. She had indirectly found out that the man who raised her was not her real father, and now he had brought her here, indirectly causing her pain, just to leave her. Just to leave her here with him.

"Ichirou... Matasumi." He took a breath. Their words, the sound of their hearts slowly breaking apart was tearing at him. "I am not a coward. I cannot run."

"Dad-"

"What of our people?"

"They are just people. You are my father. My dad. Our dad."

"As my son, you should know that our people are as much a part of us as we are of them."

"I don't care. I need you more than we need them. What if you don't come back?!" He shouted.

Ichirou's question drew Sesshomaru's, Satoru's and my eyes toward him. His eyes were turning red forcing back the tears we knew he had. Our children did not know why he was doing this. Would that truth help them or hurt them?

"You won't come back daddy?" Sayuri's pitched changed and my eyes too watered at the pain she was suffering. Were there any other way, I am certain Satoru would have taken it before even I could reach it.

"I will try." Sesshomaru and I watched him. His jaw clenched, as it always did when he told a lie, and thankfully we were the only two who could see it.

"Honey." I eased as I looked down to my daughter. "Your father is going to make sure that we stay safe. To keep our home safe."

"You are our home dad. Wherever you are, that is our home!" Matasumi urged.

He gave a heartfelt smile. "I know."

"I understand your decision father. I cannot agree with it, but I will ask what has prompted all of this?" Noboru was the only calm one of all of them.

Satoru's hand tightened at Noboru's question. As he opened to speak our eye's were drawn to Naiera.

Her voice low, her head still down. "He is going for us." She built all of her strength, her head raised, her eyes dry. Her voice as normal as it ever was. "They gave you a choice between your family, or your lands."

"Yes."

Everyone looked back at Satoru.

"Dad?"

"It was never my belief that half demons could be Lords of Ladies. Not because of what they were... What you are... More so because they often never feel like they have a place in a world that has become accustomed to telling them that they don't belong."

"You know fight for that." Noboru stated.

"Why did you change your mind father?" Ichirou looked shocked, as did most of us.

"What happened?" Naiera asked.

Satoru laughed lightly to himself. A tear streamed down his cheek as his eyes focused on Naiera, a huge smile appeared on his face.

"You did. You and Itachirou." Itachirou slightly stiffened at the sound of his voice. "I watched you grow, given it was quite quick, I was still there everyday. Itachirou, you are strong an wise. I am very proud of who you will become and only wish that I could see you with more time. Naiera, you are as bright as the sun. Even in your saddest moments you find the ability to smile, and make everyone do the same. You two are two sides of the same coin. You are hope. When you were born Ichirou, Noboru, Atoru, Matasumi, and Sayuri I had already created a place for you. The place that all seven of you have grown in. You may go through the rest of your lives knowing the hatred that may be directed towards you, but you will always remember what you grew with. The memory and belief that there is a place for you. Though I started it, you came to be loved for the people you are. They came to love you as I have come to love you." Satoru's eyes shifted to Sesshomaru, for a reason unknown to me. "The world accepted demons as Lords of the four lands and demons only. Your mother followed me to the North. I wished to abolish the idea that the partners for the Lords or Ladies should be demons. Humans have the ability to rule alongside us." His voice lightened, and all the sunlight that poured into the room seemed to shine directly on him. "Your mother is smart, kind, capable and strong when necessary. She has been a great Lady of the North despite the adversity she faced. Those who were against her still had her compassion and with time they came to love her. I go to protect not only you, but those beliefs which I have for so long tried to instill in you. I want you to be Lords and Ladies and if not that, leaders. Whether I come back or not does not matter." His eyes traveled to all of us. "Because I live in every single one of you. And I have never been happier than in the nine years that I have watched all of you grow."

No one, except for Sesshomaru could hide the smiles that were on our face. I could see well the impact that his words had, the strength that he had given all of them. Anytime in the past nine years Satoru could find the ability to be crazy and create battle tactics for stealing his kids cookies, and burning every part of our house at least twice in an attempt to make the very things he attempted to steal. Whether or not he had planned this did not matter. He genuinely cherished the time that he had spent with all of it as if it was the last that they ever had. With those thoughts came the realization that war had no impact on that, he had been born to be a father. He was a great demon, a great lord and leader, and raising them to be such was only a part of his life. He had taught all of us to cherish who we were, not to hide, to stand strong and even if we should fall there was more than just getting back up because it was right in our minds. It was right in our hearts, and by leaving them to face their hardest time, he was giving them their greatest lesson. He was giving us a reminder of what he taught us and what we all were. Our blood did not matter. We were family, the most important thing that we could or would ever have. He had made a point to say that he was always with us, it did not make up for the truth I knew, he gave the kids hope and he gave me the kids. The best pieces of not only he or I, but us. We were the strongest and brightest thing in this world to each other and the rest just seemed to fade compared to that simple truth.

As I looked over to Sesshomaru, slightly mesmerized by the situation I realized he suffered the greatest pain. He was incapable of knowing what love meant, or how powerful it could be. He knew only of what Satoru would soon embark on, only Sesshomaru was never given a reason to go. He had nothing besides emptiness waiting for him, I think that even he was surprised by what happened. It was clear now more than ever that the massive change that his pupil went through may have cost him much, but given him so much more. Things worth more than all the gold, treasures and power in the world, something that proved to be his greatest strength. He had love.

We would not forget the pain to be felt at his leaving. What would be remembered was the love and light that he gave us. In those thoughts, I wished that it was something I could have for all the years that this demonic essence would give me. His smile was great, and I think it was able to relieve everyone including Naiera, who now smiled as bright as an angel. Itachirou even lightened up by his heartfelt words, something that gave even Itachirou a cause to smile as his lips turned up slightly. I couldn't smirk at the sight as I thought I would should he ever smile, it touched my heart too much to be cause for humor. It was a cause for celebration.

"We love you, dad."

"I love all of you too." He turned to me, loud enough for all to hear, but meant for me. His look was serious, and heartfelt. The only words I had really ever heard in such a tone were 'I love you'. The first time I heard them, 'I do'. His voice light, warm... And promising. "I will come back."

The whole plan for our safety was for him to die, but now it didn't matter. He would find a way for him to come back, for all of us to live together. It didn't matter if we retreated when the North was safe, we would all be together, I gave him a reason to live, we all did. He was determined to come back and not miss the lives of our children. He lifted my hand to place a warm kiss upon my palm, still unable to let go he placed it back on the table. I his eyes I saw his heart, as he saw mine. He had something to come back to, people that needed him and no what he could provide. That was something that he had never before had, and something he would not let someone's schemes take away. He had to uphold the part of our vow To spend our lives as equals, side by side, together, until our end. He wasn't leaving, it wasn't a 'goodbye', it was 'until next time'. My heart lightened at that thought, an long life with him. Neither of imagined anything better. All of us lost in our happiness, I overlooked the dark glance that Sesshomaru gave him, and the small worry on Itachirou's face.