A/N: I know it has been a month since I last updated but I know you guys understand why it took me long. Right now I kind of have more free time on my hand so I MIGHT update again next week. I'll try my best to do so because I know you guys want to know what's going to happen. I don't have much to say, anyway, but thank you guys for reading my story continuously,so I'm just going to stop here. :D

ProdigixVx:Well, I'm very much glad that I was one who earned to be your favorite author. Thanks so much for giving this story a chance and sticking around. i promise to do everything to make this story better and better. :D

captaindauntless:Ooh, I took you by surprise again, didn't I? I'm glad to hear that. You're one of the readers who seem to know what's going to happen next and it's really something if I do something you're not expecting. And I'm glad you liked it, even when it wasn't what you thought it would be.

Suneater:Thank you. To be truth I was kind of hesitant when I wrote that in her POV, knowing that a couple of readers who are still vying for Percabeth, but hey, I've taken lots of risks in writing before, right? Besides you're right: Reyna's view of the situation is very much needed and I wanted you guys to know what's going on in her head. Did it work? Hopefully so.

CimFan:Well you're right at one point, however for the other . . . I'll let you figure it out. :D

pandalOver728: I humbly thank you for that review (And I'm floating. Thanks. :D )

August1999:Are you still shivering? I hope not. Anyway, sorry for that. And to make it up, here's the next one. :D

ChocolateLover15:Thanks so much! :D

Oh, one more thing. I'm living the last few days of being a teenager (Tragic) and in a few days' time I'll be turning twenty so I'm expecting lots of packages on my door by Oct. 11. I want either a Samsung S4 or a really high-end laptop (what's the latest, anyway?). Kidding! :d

DON'T JUST READ, LEAVE A REVIEW!

NEVER LET ME GO

Chapter 16: YOU WON'T FEEL A THING

PERCY

The transfusion weakened my son more than it helped him.

Although Dr. Mears said that it was to be expected as it was the first time the process was done and that Noah's body will adapt to Annabeth's bone marrows, I was having second thoughts. Noah could barely sit up after the first session. He started puking as soon as he was taken back into his room and blood was running down his chin.

It felt like an icy hand was gripping my heart as I held the basin in front of him, my other one massaging his back. He was almost choking as he retched last night's dinner. Tears and mucus were running down his face and I so badly wanted my own to escape but I held them back. I couldn't be weak, I couldn't show Noah that I, too, was vulnerable.

"It's okay, buddy," I whispered. "You'll be fine." I didn't even believe myself. I sounded off even in my own ears. Noah laid back up, some of the vile on his cheek. I reached over and wiped it away. I picked up the water bottle from the bedside table and shakily made my son drink from it. Most water ended up on his shirt, soaking the front of his shorts as well. He looked abashed when he pulled away from the bottle, like he was ashamed it happened. "It's okay," I said softly, fetching a small piece of cloth and toweling him dry.

"Thank you, Daddy," he said, his eyelids dropping. I supported him as he slowly lied down on the mattress, with him wincing the whole time. He then lifted his upper body up a bit and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before settling back down on the bed. I threw the blanket over him. I leaned down and brushed my lips on his forehead, muttering Please stay. Noah snuggled under the cover and closed his eyes.

I sat down on the couch and watched him, my eyes refusing to leave his small form even for a second. My brain seemed to recognize the fact that time with Noah might be short, that the disease was slowly sucking the life out of my son, that our borrowed time together might be over in a moment.

I shook my head and pushed the thoughts away. No. That would never happen. I would never let it. I'd fight destiny, or life itself, it that's what it took to keep my son alive, with me. It didn't matter if God, or some mystical force decreed that my son was to die; if they want him, then they'd have to get me first.

Leaning back, I couldn't help but think that maybe Noah's health wasn't the only thing the disease was leeching but also my sanity. When was the last time I slept, anyway? Or the last time I ate? Was it yesterday, or the day after? I couldn't remember. That was not good. Okay, back up. Don't. Stop it. Keep it together. I sandwiched my head between my hands and pressed, pressed tightly. Tighter. Tighter. Now it was so tight it hurt and I was starting to feel light-headed. A little bit more. It's beyond painful now, it felt like I was trying to crack my skull open. Was it good? Was it working? I guess. At least the physical pain was distracting me.

A pair of hands grabbed mine and slowly eased them off of my head. I looked up and expected to see Reyna but it wasn't her. It was Annabeth. She looked pale and there were bags under her eyes and the way she stood reminded me of a bamboo – a little wind and she would bend and fall.

"Hey," she said, "you okay?"

I shook my head as she slowly sat beside me. I watched as she carefully lowered herself on the couch. "You shouldn't be here," I said.

Annabeth sighed. "Look, I get that you don't want me here, but at least let me watch him for a while – "

"That's not what I meant," I said, cutting her off. Annabeth raised her eyebrows at me. "I meant that you shouldn't be wandering around; you should be resting." I noticed as she shivered but quickly tried to cover it up, but she must be feeling really cold for she wrapped the blanket tighter around her. "You're still weak, you should be lying down not walking around."

She shrugged. "I don't care," she insisted. "I just wanted to see Noah." Annabeth turned her head sideways, locking her eyes with mine. I wanted to look away, but found that I was immobile. Her gray eyes were still the same, solid, strong and guarded. But I knew better. I was the one who could see beyond those gems and I saw how much she was hurting. How much sadness and guilt she was holding inside. I didn't exactly help ease those negative emotions by punishing her for so long. Being alone for five years – wasn't that punishment enough for her?

I swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling ashamed of all the times I've hurt her since she came back.

Annabeth and I watched Noah for a while, both of us not speaking. I could still feel a sting of pain behind me but it had gone down considerably. My test happened more than 36 hours ago and I still kind of weak. If I was feeling like this, I wonder how Annabeth could stand. She didn't just have a test, she had some of her bone marrows harvested. That must've hurt a lot, and weakened her exceptionally. If so, I wondered how she could still be here.

"There is no point now, is there?" I asked.

Annabeth looked at me. "What are you talking about?"

"Keeping you away from him," I said. "Away from our son. There's no point in doing so at this situation."

She looked hesitant. "I'm not sure I follow," she admitted. I shook my head, not believing that she didn't get what I meant. Annabeth nodded slowly and looked at me. "Is it because Noah needs me now? Is that the reason, Percy?"

I shook my head. "No," I answered immediately. "God, Annabeth, you're making this very hard for me." I took in a deep breath. "I'm forgiving you, Annabeth. I forgive what you did five years ago, leaving us like that."

"I-I thought we're done with that," she whispered.

"We're done with saying goodbye to our teenage years," I said. "And I did apologize for all that I did but I didn't actually forgive you. I don't know why I didn't just do it, why I didn't just let go when we were supposed to be saying goodbye."

"I think you do," she said. "You do know why Percy, you just don't want to admit it."

I exhaled. Was I running away from the truth? Was I refusing to acknowledge it? What good would it do, anyway? Would it heal opened wounds? Would it ease the pain we're all feeling right now? Would it heal Noah? It wouldn't. All it would do was make an already painful situation worse.

"Was I – was I holding on to those memories, Annabeth?" I whispered. "Was I holding on to us?"

"You don't have to ask me that question," she said, "because I know you know what the answer is." Annabeth reached out and grabbed my hand. There was something with the way she did it that told me that she was expecting me to pull away, and for a second I wanted to. But the pressure of her hand against mine, the feeling of our skins touching – they brought back memories. Those days when we would just hang out under the sun, talking about nothing in particularly. For someone like me who was in a situation like that, pleasant memories were reminders that things do get better. Besides, I didn't think I really wanted to end our touch. The feeling of having someone with you, the feeling of friendship . . . it was nice.

"I never let you go, either," she said in a much softer voice. "Every night I dreamt of the days that I had you, of all the times that we were together and I knew that letting them go, erasing them permanently from my mind, would be something I will never do. I kept them, Percy, even when every single second of reminiscing them hurt, I didn't let them go. And I know that you went through something similar and I'm so sorry for what I did. I'm sorry – "

"Stop," I said. "Enough." I didn't know where I got the words I said but once I started, they came pouring out like they'd been sitting in my mouth. "I get it. You were scared. We both were. I guess I can't really hold you responsible anymore for how you dealt with our situation. I mean, things happen and not all times people are equipped to handle them."

"I think I've read something along that line," she answered.

"Point is, I can't live like that anymore," I said. "I can't continue holding you responsible for making a mistake five years ago, especially now that Noah needs both of us." I exhaled, quite wary that Annabeth might misinterpret what I was trying to say. "And again, I'm not doing this because Noah needs you. I'm doing this for us. For – for me."

Annabeth nodded. "Thank you," she said quietly after a minute. "I'm not that something like this will actually happen. Honestly, when I came back I didn't know whether I would go looking for you or what but I guess someone had a better idea."

I gave a weak chuckle. "Yeah," I answered, remembering our first ever encounter when Annabeth came back to New York. I could remember the words I said to her, how hurtful they were and how insensitive I was. I tried to swallow the guilt that rose up in my throat but couldn't. "I remember you said that you have no intention of going back into Noah's life but I guess subconsciously you have no intention of just seeing him, huh?"

Annabeth sighed. "I guess, yeah," she agreed. "Although in my head I was convinced that all I wanted was a little chance to hold Noah, I guess I knew all along that in my heart I would do anything to be a part of his life."

"And now you are," I said. "You would've been all this time if . . . if . . ." I trailed off, unsure whether it would be a good thing to bring up something we're both trying to forget.

"If only I didn't leave," Annabeth finished.

"Why did you, anyway?" I asked. Although I could remember her words on that letter like I only read them yesterday, I still wanted to hear her answer straight from her. "Why did you leave us?"

Annabeth's eyes were trained on Noah when she answered. "I didn't want you to get hurt," she said, "which was stupid because I did hurt you when I left. I guess . . . oh, how can I put this? I couldn't . . . wouldn't let myself hurt you and him, Percy. I'm not a good person. I never was. I'm self-centered, damaged and a coward. I didn't want Noah to be exposed to those parts of me. I looked into Noah's eyes and I thought, 'I can't let my history be repeated. I won't be able to live with myself if I hurt him the way I was hurt.'" Annabeth paused. "I wanted to add something into that letter, something that you could've said to Noah when the time is right, but I guess I subconsciously wanted to be the one to tell him that."

"What?" I asked curiously.

"'You won't feel a thing,'" said Annabeth. "That's what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him 'You won't be hurt; you will always be happy and safe. You won't have to live the same life as your mother did . . . you won't feel a thing.'" Annabeth's voice quivered and I automatically reached out and rubbed her shoulder. "But whatever I experienced pales in comparison with what Noah went through and what he's going through right now."

"You're both fighters," I said. "He's got your spirit, you know. He's really stubborn and gives me lots of headaches most of the time." I chuckled as I watched Annabeth staring at our son. I have to admit, it was kind of weird being in the same room as her without me trying to chew her out, add to that the fact that I had my arms around her.

"I should've kept the promise," she whispered. "I should've protected him. I should've stopped anything from hurting him. I should've . . ."

"You did," I said. "In your own way. I'm not sure if that really is the best way of dealing with it but I guess what matters now is that you have this chance to set things right." Annabeth didn't respond. I knew her. When she makes a promise, she sees to its upheld and when she fails, it takes a toll on her. This must be the one that's taken the biggest chunk from her. "Alright," I said, standing and bringing her up with me. Why don't you promise that to him again? And this time, make sure that you will hold on to it."

"You'll let me?" she asked uncertainly.

"I just let you back in our lives, didn't I? Of course I will. Come on." I guided her to Noah's bed.

Annabeth gave me a look. I gave her a nod and she looked down, taking hold of Noah's hand. "Hey, Noah," she whispered gently. "Have I told you how handsome you are? You took after your Dad, do you know that? He said you got your spirit from me but the truth is, you got his. He's always been the brave one, the one always putting up a fight while I just sit back and watch." Her voice quivered as she went on. "And I know that right now, that's one thing you're using right now. Just be your Dad and you're going to be fine." She reached out and brushed Noah's hair from his face. "But you know one more thing about your Dad? No matter how brave he is, there are times that he still depends on someone. I bet you got that, too, not in a bad way, I'm sure. And now, Noah, I want you to know that I'm here. Through all of this, I will be with you. I'm not going to fail you this time, baby. I won't waste this chance. Not again. No matter what happens, I will protect you. I will absorb the blows for you . . . you won't feel a thing, baby. You won't, I promise." Annabeth started crying as she leaned down and pressed her forehead against Noah's hand.

I went to her side of the bed and drew her into a hug. Annabeth cried softly on my chest as I repeated rubbed her back.

"Why does it have to be him, Percy?" she sobbed. "Is he being punished of what I did?"

"He's not," I answered. "It's just the way of life." I couldn't help but think that a few days ago I was questioning everything. Why is Noah sick? Why, of all the people on this planet, a five year old was chosen to have this sickness? Why does it have to be my son? Those were the questions I asked, but right now I was saying otherwise to Annabeth. It was different with her. Maybe Mom was right when she told me I'm different whenever I'm with her. Somewhat more collected. Stronger. But did I believe my own words? Did I actually accept that what was happening is within justification? Was it really fair for an innocent five year-old to be suffering? I wasn't sure. What I was sure about was this: I had to be strong not only for one, but two people.

"Then it sucks," said Annabeth, still clinging to me.

"Tell me about it."

We stayed together that way, neither of us breaking our hug. I have to admit, it was nice. After five years of being separated it was a good thing to feel my best friend again, to feel that sense of safety whenever we're together. And something else, something I couldn't even admit.

I shook my head to dismiss the thoughts. No, I told myself. Not that way. I can't feel that way. Even when wouldn't deal with it right away, I knew that I did the right thing letting Annabeth back in into our lives. She was keeping me sane, after all.

The door opened and we both jumped away from each other. Reyna came in, somewhat shyly. I swallowed the guilt the rose up in my throat. I wasn't doing anything behind her back. I was simply comforting a friend, who was also my son's mother, so why did I feel like I was doing something that I wasn't supposed to?

"Hey," she greeted. "Dr. Mears said he needs to talk to you." She looked at Annabeth and I tried to get a reading of what was going on in her head but failed. "Both of you."

"Okay," I said in a low voice as I exited the room, Annabeth following behind me with Reyna bringing the rear. The walk to Dr. Mears' office was kind of uncomfortable and I had no idea what made it so.

Reyna sped up a bit and took my hand. There was the usual sense of contentment and happiness as soon as our flesh made contact but something else was happening. A shift. I wasn't sure what it's all about only that I was certain it was there. I wanted to scold myself. Here Noah was, hurting and I was thinking of myself? I bit my lower lip as I pushed all selfish thoughts away. Right now, my son was my focus. I would deal with my personal issues after that.

We stepped into Dr. Mears' office and found him waiting for us. He looked up when we came in. "Ah, Percy, have a seat, please." I sat down and Reyna sat beside me. I noticed Annabeth having a difficulty settling on her chair so I stood up and eased her into it. I went back to my seat and tried to avoid Reyna's eyes.

"Now that you're here," said Dr. Mears, leaning forward, "there are things we need to discuss."

"Before anything else, doctor," I said, cutting him off, "I need to ask you a question. Why does it seem that this transfusion make Noah's condition worse?"

"That's actually what I called you in for," he said carefully. "Percy, Noah's still adapting to Annabeth's bone marrows – "

"But they were a match!" I insisted.

"I know, but there might still be a chance that his body might reject the transplant," he said, then when he saw my reaction, quickly added, "Though it is very rare. From what I can see, we are on the right path. Noah has gotten weaker, yes, but that is only for some time. This is only the first session, after all. He will get better the more transfusions he undergoes."

I sat back slowly, a little bit worried. Could it happen? Would Noah's body reject the transplant? Please, no. I wouldn't know what I would do if that occurred. I bit the inside of my cheek and waited for more information.

"Noah might also need blood transfusions in the future," Dr. Mears continued. "He's type AB. I took the liberty of checking and, Percy, you have the same blood type as your son, so we have no problem about that one. I will inform you of when we need to have you donate blood." He flipped a page from his clipboard and looked up. "As for you Annabeth, how are you feeling?"

"Physically I'm drained," said Annabeth. "But I'm emotionally happy. Happy that I'm able to help my son."

"Well this will get easier for Noah, but will be harder for you."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Percy, Annabeth will be feeling nauseous these next few days. Extremely weak. Dizzy most of the time. Bruises on your body." He looked at Annabeth. "Harvesting some of your bone marrows has weakened your immune system. You will get cough and colds easily; you might catch a fever from time to time. Honestly, there are a lot of changes you will experience."

"Can we do something for her?" I asked.

"Be there for her, Percy," he said. "That's what you can do." He paused. "Now I'm well aware of the situation between the three of you and I'm not going to pretend that I understand how you're feeling right now but I do know that that boy in the other room needs all of you right now." He looked at us one by one. I wasn't sure how I felt about him mentioning this one, but I could tell that I was a little grateful. Thankful that someone could voice out what I couldn't.

I knew how hard our arrangement for Reyna was. She had set aside herself for me time and time again. I acknowledged her selflessness but at the same time I kind of have myself for what I was putting her through. She was practically being a martyr because of me.

"Stay together and be strong," said Dr. Mears. "This is only the beginning; the real storm is yet to come."

[Next - Chapter 17 - I'LL STAND BY YOU]