Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews; feel free to check the places I'm describing on Google if you're curious about them as I can't post pictures here.

Chapter Three

Resignation was a foreign concept to Maura yet it was exactly what she had begun to feel the moment Jane had told her that she had been offered a job in Quantico. The feeling was new and extremely uncomfortable. At forty years old, Maura lacked what it took to accept the impact the news had on her.

She didn't recognize herself anymore. On one side, there was the Maura everyone knew: the happy-go-lucky woman who always remained optimistic. No matter what. And on the other side stood a very different Maura: one that she could barely describe herself. That Maura was dark, and she terribly felt lonely. She knew that she had feelings for Jane but she didn't know what to do of them. The contrast between both aspects of her persona was sharp but thankfully rather balanced. If Maura suffered from the situation, she didn't let it show.

At no moment whatsoever.

She still managed to feed herself with those moments she spent with Jane anyway, as ephemeral as said moments could be. Blessings in disguise. That was the exact reason why she needed to take the most of Paris. Paris was a miracle in her upside down life. It wouldn't happen twice. She couldn't miss the opportunity she had been given.

"You've never wanted to live here? You look really at ease in Paris."

Jane's question made Maura blush but the glass of wine that she had just drunk and the wind that had embraced her cheeks all morning long hid her emotional reaction. Her silence betrayed a confusing hesitation though. She didn't want to lie to Jane. She couldn't lie anyway, or at least not really. Yet there was a part of her life – of her past – that Jane ignored and it was hard to not link it to the question that had just been asked.

Maura focused on a waiter. After a two-hour walk through the Jardin du Luxembourg, she and Jane had headed towards Odéon.

They had walked by the theater of the same name before taking the street that led to the heart of this old neighborhood of the City of Lights, part of Saint-Germain-des-Prés were intelectuals like Jean-Paul Sartre used to spend their days. Just like the evening before, Jane had religiously listened to Maura's explanations without complaining once. On the contrary. She kept on asking questions and showed a real interest in the city.

Maura was touched by her friend's behavior.

The brasserie was crowded and the brouhaha of the conversations rocked Maura peacefully. But the waiter she was observing walked back to the kitchen after attending a table by the large windows and she had no choice but to focus on Jane anew.

Jane had picked up one of the numerous books that littered the shelves of the brasserie, books given away by the publishing houses of the area. It was even the reason why the restaurant was named The Publishers - Les Editeurs in French. Maura couldn't help but smile as she read the author's name on the book Jane was holding.

"What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner..."

Jane looked up from the book and frowned. She didn't understand Maura's remark for it seemed to be rather off topic. To an extent. Because if it was Maura's way of answering Jane's question then she couldn't be more mysterious.

"What?"

"I was only quoting the author of the book you're holding." A bright smile lit up Maura's graceful features. She crossed her hands before leaning her chin on top of them. She tilted her head and finally burst out laughing as Jane looked clueless. "Colette was a French novelist nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1948. She was also a journalist, a mime and an actress."

"Oh." Jane put the book back on the shelf. "Very versatile, I see."

Maura bit the inside of her cheek in order to not burst out laughing. Versatile was a very interesting choice of word from Jane. Genuine choice but still... Colette was bisexual and she didn't hit it. Maura nonetheless preferred to keep such detail to herself.

"You haven't answered my question though. Unless quoting Colette is your way of answering?" Jane took a sip of wine. She had to admit that whatever winery Maura had chosen, it was good. Very good. "You like Paris – and I can get why – so... Why didn't you move here? Didn't you go to high school in Switzerland?"

Unless it had to do with someone whom Maura would have met. Jane kept this possibility for herself. Maura seemed to be finally ready to speak, to open up a bit.

"I wanted to go back to America. The school of medicine is excellent here but... I felt the urge to be in Boston by then. However, I stayed here for two months after graduating from high school. I spent the summer in Paris."

No lies, just words carefully and wisely chosen.

The friendship Maura shared with Jane was unique. They had met six years earlier – a mere nothing in someone's life – but Maura had confided in Jane a lot more than in anyone else and she knew that it was mutual. She still had secrets though. Were they really secrets? Omissions? Or mere details that she hadn't had a chance to allude to until now?

She learned from Jane every day and Jane learned from her every day as well. That was how it worked out between the two of them.

"What did you do during these two months? Did you go all Hemingway or something?"

"No... I didn't drown my sorrow in alcohol..."

"Oh. Sarcasm!" Jane laughed lightly. It was way too rare to see Maura sarcastic to not mention it. She nonetheless apologized and asked her friend to resume whatever she was saying. "Go on."

The fragility Maura had woken up to had turned into a delicate and oddly comforting feeling. She had got used to it by now and she could finally say that she felt fine and happy to be with Jane in the time being. At last. Of course the dark clouds of Quantico were still floating in the distance but she now could focus on Paris and nothing else.

She was starting to relax. Little by little.

Jane was very helpful too. She wasn't grumpy at all. Her enthusiasm was contagious just like the lightness of her mood. It was exactly what Maura needed. Jane's genuine happiness was immensely reassuring.

"I just... Walked on the streets, sat at the terrace of cafes... I must have looked like a terrible cliché of a tourist at the time."

Then she left for Boston and the storm ceased.

"I'm glad you didn't stay here." Jane looked down at the table. From her whisper had risen a timidity that only echoed the strength of delicate feelings. The remark was unusual for her and she didn't know how to really handle it. "I mean I like Paris but..."

"But we wouldn't have met if I had stayed here."

Jane nodded in silence. For someone who didn't like guessing, Maura was really good at it. The confession was sweet, and honest. It came out of the blue but it made sense. A lot of sense.

Maura bit her lower lip briefly, at the mercy of doubts. It didn't last long. She let the words come out with all the bitter sweetness her heart lived from.

"Everything happens for a reason."

Maura swallowed hard. Jane's confession had touched her a lot more than what people could imagine even if she was convinced – deep inside – that the nature of Jane's feelings towards her had very little to do with the ones she had for her friend. Jane was glad to have her as a friend. She didn't love her the way Maura loved her in return.

I wish you played with me. I wish you played with my feelings. Then I would have a good reason to hate you and I would run away from you. But you never do this. You're always sincere instead and you often manage to take me aback with an unexpected remark which bitterness melts into a graceful sweetness.

Just like now.

You know I love Paris but you're glad I moved to Boston nonetheless or else we would have never met. I wouldn't be part of your life and I wouldn't know that you exist. This is the closest I'll get to an I love you from you. I know it.

What if it wasn't true though? What if you and I were meant to be? Perhaps we would have met nonetheless, somewhere else. On the streets of Paris maybe. And my feelings for you would still be the same.

You have no idea how much I love you, Jane.

Maura's fingers brushed Jane's hesitantly at first but the gesture won in confidence when she saw that Jane didn't move away from her. Her fingertips slid along Jane's until they came to rest in the palm of Jane's hand. Maura squeezed Jane's hand tightly. Warmly.

"I knew my life wasn't supposed to happen here."

It wasn't a lie as Maura honestly thought what she had just said but as the words passed her lips and they hit the air – the moment they got lost in the brouhaha of the brasserie – she realized that perhaps it wasn't completely true.

Her life was happening now. The life she wanted to live. That was the blatant truth.

She was with Jane and nobody else. Her Jane, as much as she didn't like the territorial nuance that lay behind such phrasing.

"And yet we've both made it here. Together." Jane raised a playful eyebrow. It matched her smirk. "What it... I dunno." She swallowed hard and tried to ignore the obvious anxiety betrayed by her sudden thick accent. "Maybe it's just the beginning."

Maura barely heard Jane's whisper. The restaurant was too crowded for a low voice like Jane's. Besides, she mostly felt the coldness that accompanied Jane's gesture as Jane took her hand away from her grip.

She guessed the words though. She guessed them and let a strange confusion sink in.