A Set Rhythm

Only a week had passed before the children were back to as normal as they could get given the circumstances, for that I was still grateful. None of them had been overtaken by fever so their physical health was never at as much risk as their emotional health. There had been no news, no letters or rumors to overtake the palace. I tried not to think of it and spent the time on the children, watching them with the small hope that they would begin to act as they used to. Anything to take their mind off of Satoru's absence, especially Naiera. She had recovered rather quickly, not even two days had passed and jumped to tending to the other children who were now depending on us to keep things going. My greatest worry came as I watched Naiera take her grief and hide behind Satoru's words, which I knew were the entire reason she never once let a smile fall from her face. I found myself watching her as she strolled through the halls without a care in the world and felt the most immense pain as she did so. It took a great amount of effort to portray the image that all who did not know her saw. While I was happy to see she would not let her grief overcome her, I worried for the cost of such strength. I remember the days that Sesshomaru would leave me as he tended to official matters, even though I knew he would come back I could not think of anything except his absence. My worry grew as I came to find that I was not the only one, on more than one occasion I would catch Itachirou watching her.

The others… continued, for lack of a better word as each day became a curse. The days passed and bombarded us with the reminders of empty promises, there was nothing for them, the joys of a new challenge, a new surprise around they corner just waiting for them, he took all that with him. It felt as if I were back nine years ago, the only difference being that I was not the only one left behind. There were others that needed reasons as to why he was gone, why each day had passed with no news and we were left to the darkness of our own hopes. It was a cold feeling knowing that Satoru had left and taken a huge piece of each of us with him.

The next week we spent a day reorganizing and settling into the new rooms and a new routine. I was happy to see a look of relief on their faces when they learned that I would be just down the hall only because it was the first emotion I had seen from them besides sadness. Even after everything, I knew that they could not have me be any further than I could from them. Until Satoru came back we were all that we had left, which given all that he was willing to give up for us told us that it was more than enough.

We passed our days in my room, reading, writing or sitting in the garden at midday which we knew was when we were more likely to get a messenger. Still nothing came. A few words were be spoken here or there, usually by Sayuri who bounced around the room asking about 'Father' to which our sadness only grew. I would hold her in my hand weeping silent tears as Itachirou sat in the window watching the whole scene with an expression that a mother would never want to see in her children. I felt shame at moments like that, moments where I would let my mask slip and show them a weakness that they already felt. I was failing in my duty to be strong and it had only been two weeks. Two miserable weeks with no news to ease their minds. Something had to be done. If this was how I felt as an adult with a somewhat rational mind, what did they feel like with that and the absence of their father.

I put Sayuri down and rose quietly telling them that I would only be a moment. Slipping out of my room, I started on my way through the halls to the center of the palace. It was midday and the sun had already begun to warm the earth. Though they had just recovered from the cold now would be the best time for them to get outside, provided they were dressed properly, which they would be. They needed to get out and if they did not the next few days or weeks without news would prove even more difficult. Trapped inside they were the prisoners of this palace and their own minds which were doing nothing for them despite their age. They were children after all and despite whatever sadness they had known they could not forget that. Worry was not a feature that one should see on a child and certainly not mine. I wanted to hear them laugh, to disregard everything about the world around them. They had been thrust into the world enough for one month.

I stopped at the door and took a breath as I tapped on the door that rattled slightly with each touch. I hoped that he would admit me.

"Enter."

I had not spoken to him since he had helped me carry the pot through the halls. I had received a note at the end asking whether or not a healer needed to be sent but I knew that was just an act of courtesy. His hearing was sharp, he knew the children were out of danger long before I could have. Nevertheless I returned his note thanking him for his consideration and that was the last contact that was had between us.

I slid the door open enough for me to slide in before closing it to within an inch of the frame.

He rose from his desk slowly obviously surprised at my presence. I met his eyes which settled with his body as he waited for me to speak. I knew that he had been up for hours but the slightly disheveled look of his kimono told me that he was not entertaining any visitors today. My eyes wandered onto the skin revealed by his kimono and blood rushed to my cheeks, the heat die down as my eyes continued up. He was having one of those rare days that he would enjoy himself, Satoru would take them every week, Sesshomaru was not a firm believer in rest. He looked to me awaiting anything that I might say and worried me when it seemed as if he was almost content to just stand here for an eternity. Whatever paper lay on that desk was now forgotten and I swallowed air thinking that I might be important enough...No.

I was Lady of the North. An important guest in his house, there was nothing more. There should be nothing more as I had children that were the sole cause of my coming here.

"Do you need something, Lady Fujian?" His voice came as low as a whisper, but the sound of my title punched me in the chest.

I coughed.

"Do I need your permission to leave?"

His eyes shifted to observe me closely.

"What for?"

"I need to get them toys, something to occupy their mind. Anything."

"There is no need." His voice was flat, as if it was the end of this discussion.

"They are children, Lord Sesshomaru."

"I am aware."

As he came toward me I took an involuntary step back, I was not afraid of him and hoped that I had not given him that satisfaction. Just because Satoru was not here did not mean I would step down, I was also a Lady, no matter how much that displeased him. My defense fell as he stepped to the wardrobe to my left. The doors opened to reveal a decent sized chest of dark wood. A single silver lock held the chest closed, something that snapped easily between Sesshomaru's fingers. I assumed the chest to be heavy from the sounds of moving items but he carried it with ease before placing it at my feet. Without a word he returned to sit as his desk and continued with shuffling and signing various papers.

Feeling entirely uncomfortable after what seemed like ages, I knelt down to the chest running my hands across the top. It was a smooth finish, and from the details and the craftsmanship that must have gone into it, I was certain that it was expensive. The wood itself seemed heavy, and considering it was Sesshomaru who lifted it, there was no telling how much it truly weighed. Everything about him proved to be an illusion. I pushed the lid open stopping midway as I glanced into to see the contents.

There were a couple of books and toys that I had as a child, completely untouched by time. My eye was caught by a small doll dressed in gold and silk that I had been given on my ninth birthday. It was my first birthday here at the palace, and I remember being so grateful that Sesshomaru had remembered it. Her skin was of the finest porcelain, her hair thin black thread, she was made of the finest materials and I would not know the difference. I had carried her everywhere until I was thirteen. He had kept all of these things

There was a twinkle in his eyes as I looked to see him stop his writing, almost as if he had been occupied this while time.

"You kept these."

"I had them retrieved from storage and brought here."

He tried to make it appear as though he had forgotten them. I knew better. He had her in this condition, it was a fine doll and therefore needed proper care. As for the rest, certainly they should have been marked by dust or decay and it seemed as if everything was as it was the day I left. My eyes began to water as the gesture touched my heart, it was not a big one, but it was a small one.

"Thank you, Sesshomaru."

His face loosened. That for him was the equivalent of his jaw dropping and I could not help but smile at the thought. He had not expected kindness, and I had not expected this. We were anything but friends, and considering everything that had happened between us since that night so many years ago, I doubted that would change anytime soon. It could change though. We did not know how long we would be here, and being enemies would not do anything except make it harder.

"Is there something else?"

"Yes." I stood and came to a kneel before his desk, his eyes darkening as he watched me. "I would like to make peace."

He placed his brush down before adjusting in his seat to tell me that I had his complete attention.

I nodded. "I do not know how long we will be here, my Lord, but I see no reason why we cannot be civil."

"Agreed."

"Alright." I held my hand out.

He shook it gently. Each passing second I felt a heat flare inside my chest and my cheeks as the seconds ticked by that his hand was in mine. I watched the pale complexion on his face take a slight shade of pink. Without another word our hands dropped.

"So..." I started. "We carry on with a normal routine. I think in the long run it would be great for the children to have a routine."

"What do you suggest?"

"Everything as normal but I am hoping to get the children outside before lunch. As the weather starts to get warmer this will truly be the place to be for cherry blossoms, which happens to be something the children will love."

"Very well." He nodded gently.

"Great." I stood and bowed. "Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru."

"Sesshomaru."

I looked up. The tone he used was not one that I had heard in a while, it was a mixture of feelings that I dared not address at this time. They were feelings that I had once felt at his absence, and here I would not let myself be overcome by them. His voice was too much, as were his eyes, pleading silently with every word that he said next.

"If we are to be civil."

"Very well." I bowed once more. "Sesshomaru." I had to ignore the love I felt for his name. It rolled of your tongue so gently, even in anger it had a beauty to it.

He stood and bowed to me, hesitating as he returned to standing. The eyes that met me now were not Sesshomaru's, the closest they could be compared to were Satoru's. He had agreed to civility, but what hope was he entertaining that would justify the look that now met me. Those eyes had melted my heart, and would do so a thousand times more before Satoru returned. Hopefully, that would be soon.

"Rin."

With the sound of my name rolling off his lips, that was how we started.