Author's Note: I'm actually very depressed after writing this...

Just so any of you know, this comes from a thought-bunny I called "Spencer's Lullaby". Consider this a little sneak peek of it, if you guys are ever interested in reading something like this from me in the future. I never really developed it, but I loved the idea, so I guess it's still on the table.

Day One-Hundred Thirty-Four: Come See About Me by The Supremes

"Are you lonely, Spence?" Emily asked me as she sat down on the bed.

I sniffled. I was crying. Maybe it was because I had a little bit of alcohol with Emily and Hanna and was feeling more vulnerable, but mostly because I was lonely. "Yeah," I answered quietly.

"He's coming back soon," Hanna assured me as she sat on the other side of the bed. She was facing me.

I sniffled before I sat up. "I'm just scared that he's…never going to come back," I admitted aloud. I was tired of crying in fear. Thankfully, I was all cried-out by this point. "I need him back," I told them. "We need him back…"

Hanna wiped away a stray tear on my cheek.

"Hey, don't you remember how smiley and happy you were when you found out?" Emily inquired, trying to cheer me up. "And don't you remember what happened when you told Toby?"

I sniffed again and nodded.

Hanna sighed. "We need him back to tell you to be okay. You know he'd want you to stop stressing out about it. It's not good for you or…her," she reminded Spencer as she put her hand on the stomach.

"How do you know it's a 'her'?" Emily asked.

"I have a gut feeling."

Silence fell among them. If it weren't for this baby and this new fire to be a good mother, she wasn't sure if she would be able to deal with all of this. But she knew that when he came back, it would all be worth it; all of the crying, the exasperation, and the pain would be worth it when she saw his face again.

"It's just a few more months, Spencer," Emily reminded me. "Three more months. Ninety days. You've already been through one-hundred and eighty of them. You can deal with ninety more days."

"Josh is asleep," Aria announced as she walked into the room. She walked over to Spencer and gave her a hug. "You're going to be alright."

"Spencer?"

Hanna walked into a dark room. All of the curtains were shut and there was a bundle of blankets.

"Honey."

Spencer was curled up in the fetal position. There were tissues by the edge of the bed. Her eyes were rimmed with red and there were tearstains on her cheeks.

"Spencer, you need to get out of bed."

Spencer was silent.

"Spencer," Hanna began again, trying to shake her. Spencer was clearly awake. She just wasn't responding. "You can't live like this."

Spencer sniffled. She was right. She hadn't seen her friends in weeks. She hadn't been out of the house except for to shop for her children when absolutely necessary. She hadn't eaten actual food in probably…a week.

"He's gone now. And I know I'm pushing everyone away, but I don't know what to do," she cried, breaking into another round of tears.

"Are you sure?" Hanna asked shakily.

"He's dead, Hanna. Supposedly, he's missing in action, but we all know what that means," Spencer announced as she sat up. "He's dead," she repeated. "He's gone forever."

Hanna didn't know what to say. She knew Spencer was never going to feel better until he came back. A body would provide some closure, but Spencer would never be at peace unless he was there with her. She needed some way to placate her, though. "Spencer, he's not physically here, but he's here and you know it. He'll never be gone. You have Josh and Erin. And he's in your heart. It hurts now, but you'll feel better, soon," she promised.

Spencer wanted that to be true. She truly did. But even though wounds heal, there was always a nasty, ugly scar.

Erin noted that sometimes her mother was happy. Sometimes her mother was sad. Today was one of those happy days. And it should've been; today was Erin's birthday.

Her mom wasn't always like this. She could barely remember when she had been five years old, but she remembered that her father was there until she was about six. She could barely remember him, but she remembered that her mom had always been happy when he wasn't around.

She could remember the day that the officers had come to their house and told their mom that he was MIA. She was being annoying, along with her brother, and their mom had told them to call Aunt Aria. She barely came out of her room for weeks. It was scary. Since then, she had been a bit…bipolar and capricious when it came to her emotions. Erin still loved her mother, regardless.

Those were all of Erin's thoughts as she watched her mom blow out her candles. She smiled.

"Okay, now you need to close your eyes," Aria told her as Caleb and Emily went to the other room. Erin looked around in confusion. She had no clue what was happening and it appeared as though Josh didn't know, either.

"I don't trust you," Hanna deduced before putting her hands over Spencer's eyes.

Spencer scoffed, since an eye roll would not work in this situation.

Erin just stared at Aria and Hanna. She was practically begging them for clues.

Josh, however, turned around to see what this huge surprise was. He hadn't seen him in a long time. But he could never forget that face. Erin noticed that Josh's face blanched.

"Dad?"

Spencer tore Hanna's hands away from her face and stared at her husband, the same husband she thought she had lost so long ago.

"Toby?" she inquired, her voice cracking.

Erin turned around. Of course, she hardly remembered her father. It had been twelve years since she saw him in person. This wasn't real.

Not long after that surprise, everyone began to go home. It was just Erin, Josh, Spencer, and Toby. Erin and Josh were pacing around in the upstairs hallway.

"What just happened?" Josh asked.

"I don't know. Did you know about that?" Erin inquired.

"No!"

Inside of the room, Spencer and Toby thought they were having a discussion in private. Little did they know that their children could hear from the hallway.

"Where the hell were you?" Spencer demanded. "Where were you for eleven and a half years? People who are declared 'Missing in Action' don't just show up one day. Most of them are dead. Everyone else who was with you died. Why are you still here?"

"Are you saying that you wish I was dead?" Toby asked.

"No! I want to know why! Why were you missing for eleven years? Where were you and why didn't you come home sooner?"

"It's…complicated."

"What is so frickin complicated about coming home?"

"I didn't know where home was!" he exclaimed. He collected himself before continuing. "I was badly hurt and I didn't have any ID. I didn't have any means of contacting you or anybody else for that matter. I couldn't remember most things about my life here. And there were a lot of times that I could feel that something was missing, but I couldn't…I couldn't reach out for that memory. It was taunting me. It was so vague, but it was powerful enough to torture me. There were so many times I wish I had died right with them," he explained.

"I still don't understand."

"I'm not asking you to, right this moment. I didn't do this and play some mind game. I didn't know anything. I couldn't even remember my name for almost two years; I had such horrible brain damage. And even then, I didn't know where to start. It was so hard to find anyone with the last name 'Cavanaugh'. I found some of my mother's family like two years ago when I moved back. And then I found Caleb. He'd been helping me remember everything," he explained.

"Why didn't you just come back?"

"I always told myself that I would. And then I kept putting it off. I didn't want you to see me this way. I'm not the same person that you fell in love with. I thought that maybe if Caleb filled me in on what I missed for however long we'd been together, it would somehow fix me, and then I realized that it wouldn't."

She was inexplicably upset and annoyed with him. It didn't make any sense. She didn't understand it and she figured that she never would. But she never stopped loving him. She never stopped crying for him. All she ever wanted was for him to come home. She was lonely and sad without him.

"Don't ever leave me again," she said softly as she hugged him. It was just the same as it had been eleven and a half years ago.

Sarah: The only sane thing in my house is my dog, and she's kind of crazy, so that's not saying much...sorry, I'm just watching her sleep right now and she's really cute so I get distracted...did you like this one? And you know, if you ever log in, we can talk. I'm okay with that. You can PM me whenever.

LittleBittyAbby:Hmm? I'm supposed to get Invisalign. I still haven't gotten them, though...

MilaMizz:Alright, my first statement is OUCH. And doesn't Australia have massive spiders? Like, giant ones? I saw this gif of a spider like the size of a person's head on a wall and this guy was going to crush it with a magazine, but the spider jumped on him and he fell. It was captioned with Australia, so I was just curious. I already knew that, but I don't really like swimming in the ocean anyway. Aside from me being scared (not of sharks, though, of drowning [even though I can swim]), I don't really like swimming in the ocean. And probably, but also, I usually go through little waves of particular songs I'm not that inspired by. I don't like forcing it (so I came up with THIS brilliant idea). Of course.

AL3110:I didn't watch the 100th ep of Glee, but I liked their version (the Femme Fatale version) the most. I just liked the strings and stuff. It sounded good. Anything with Santana is good. What? No. Chipotle's is a restaurant. It's a Mexican restaurant. I have no clue what you're talking about. Come to New York for university. Just do it.

Did you know orange juice sales have plummeted 38%? If I ever get really rich and can just be very profligate with my money, I'll probably spend like...a lot of money every year on orange juice.

The next song is going to be Twisted by Carrie Underwood. I don't know why, but ever since I started watching PLL and shipping Spoby, I thought this song was fitting for them. Hmm... -Kayson