- "Master Bruce? Should I serve dinner in the lounge or the sitting room?"

Good old Alfred. Back in his butler's role already. Even had time to don a clean shirt. How long did I stay downstairs? The cave's bathroom sure is less practical than upstairs', and I didn't get much hot water since we all took our shower at the same time, but I must have pondered a little too long.

- "Is everyone ready?

- Hum… We're still waiting for Miss Esmeralda and Master Dick. But surely we can expect them shortly…", I hear the embarrassment in his tone. I raise an eyebrow. He knows I'm awaiting the end of the sentence. "… since they've had three showers already."

I prick up my ears, now listening to that background noise I had not paid attention to so far. Ah. Dick sure knows how to make her howl. Three times, he said? What's with the pain? I'll look away, pretend nothing's happening upstairs.

- "Let's dine in the lounge, Alfred. And please, sit with us tonight. We need to gather as a family, more than ever.", I can't help but add, "They'll definitely catch up with us at some point."

I really want to get away from that sound. Tim and Damian are quietly reading in the living room. I join them. Today's newspaper must have come through the mail since Alfred placed it on my usual coffee table. I'll catch up with the world and have a glance at my company's stock market figures until the meal is ready.

Just as we're sitting down around the massive table, me at its head, the sweethearts deign to join us. Why do I feel the need to think ironically? Damn Bruce, gather yourself. She's glowing. This cute impish look on her face. Does she know? Well, I sorta kissed her earlier. Why did I do that already?

- "Alfred!", she blurts, "Is that… the vegan pie?", in the most dramatic way.

- "It is Miss.

- My God, you're a treasure. When did you find time?

- You did spend a lot of time gathering yourself Miss." Oh oh. She will get British now. Because that's how she responds to Alfred's sarcasm.

- "Janey Mack, dowtcha boy, you know what's the craic about."

In her purest native accent, that makes us all laugh. I guess that's Esmeralda's super power, and why she was locked in that pit alongside all these mighty beings. If Alfred's one is to attend to Gotham's gotha needs, hers is to never let anyone feel down around her. Gosh, I've missed her. Maybe I should ask her to stay. No, Bruce, you're strong, you don't need her. You don't need anyone. And that's why… this table is surrounded with your extended family… Fool. Still. She got us out of Joker's trap. Where all super heroes failed. So she must have more than just a cheering-up ability.

- "Esme…

- I know Bruce. Yes. I will. I will try to explain."

I think the kids understood what we will talk about. A deep silence wraps us, she takes the time to finish her bite, lays her fork and inhales.

- "Since everyone's up-to-date with about everything about me, that will save us a lot of time. We're amongst clever people here. So I'm sure you've noticed some shadowy lines in my story.

- Is your brother still alive?" Of course, Damian had to speak up first. My son's crafty, but not necessarily subtle. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

- "Ah, nice one Dam. I dunno about that. I guess he is. But he would have no way to know I'm… me.

- The probability of an Irish-born woman named Esmeralda, about your age, dark-haired with bright green eyes, is not necessarily broad. And you're everywhere on TV.

- Right. Yes. That is… correct." Did she never think about it? As a matter of fact, I never thought about it. Her brother was always a distant nightmare she was long released from. Not an immediate danger. "I guess I should look into that issue but, well, later.

- The visions." Tim is ever so factual. No unnecessary words.

- "Yes. Exactly. The visions." Everyone's attention is growing sharper now. "How did I know Mom and Dad got killed? And that Bruce was coming back? In a world where people grow scales, men run through time and women fly in the sky, having a 'deformity' would come as a surprise but not really as a demonization.

- We're not here to judge you, miss Esmeralda.

- Thank you Al." That did seem to soothe her. "Well, I've always had those… I dunno, sensations? This is not something I am conscious of. Or that I control. It just happens. When I was a child, confined in that cellar, I would… see… people.

- Who?", I had to ask.

- "For a long time, I thought they were projections of my brain. I was so young. But yet my intelligence had to develop fast so that I would not become accustomed to my life. My mind had to keep me aware what was happening to me was not okay. So it created, at least I thought it created, mirrors of my lost family. My Mom, my Dad, my brothers and sister. I couldn't know then. But Amy was missing.

- Because she was not dead.", Dick steps in.

- "Now I know." She gives him a sad look. But he smiles back and she seems to find her courage. I wish I could do that for her. "These… shapes were talking me through my surrounding, making me question it. Training my brain to think really. That's why I thought they were just manifestation of my intelligence at first. But, as I left the place, they stayed behind. And I didn't feel the need for some invisible presence to talk to for the next happy years I lived here." She's looking at me. My grin must be full of melancholy but it does the job. "The night of the murders, it felt like a door that had been shut for very long, suddenly cracked open with a gust of violent wind. And all the 'people' that were locked behind ran free around me. They were yelling, things I wouldn't hear, unintelligible words. And in the storm, I saw Mom and Dad. On the ground. In that alley. And I understood. I sent Alfred there, to care after Bruce. But when the house was empty, it got out of hand. Soon, these things were reaching out to the real world. And I felt their touch. They would grab at me, pull my flesh. Even project shadows on the walls. Okay, you'll hear me say it once: I got scared. As fuck. I was what? Ten years old. So I ran outside. They seemed not to follow me there. My brother wolves felt my distress I guess. Maybe I had called for them, I don't remember. But they came to me and, within their protection, I was able to fall asleep and get some rest. And this is why, Alfred, you found me on those steps. There was no need to make such a fuss about it." She's grinning at him. I can't believe she's going through that memory with a smirk on her face. Could I ever get that strong?

- "If I may, Miss Esme, I'd like to apologize now for having shown concern for your health.

- You silly. Of course I'm not cross with you." She sticks her tongue out. "Once Bruce and Alfred got home, all of this had receded. We got in together and there was no sign of intrusion or, well, let's call an egg an egg, supernatural activity. So I didn't bother mulling that over. I had other worries to attend." She's again looking at me. I know what she's referring to. At the time, I was a ball and chain. A bag of sadness and desperation. A depressed child. And she took care of me. Like a sister would to a brother. Or... Is she saying I prevented her from investigating? Is that a reproach? "Worries I gladly attended to be honest." Apparently not. "I think I was not ready to face that problem just yet. But when Bruce left. For his training. Shadows were growing longer. Literally. Things were moving in the dark. Sleep became a place of nightmares. Soon enough, I would wake up with fingers marks on my wrists or face. And it was time to find out what this was all about.

- That's why you went back to the Lost Valley.", Tim punctuates.

- "Indeed.

- And you said you found nothing.

- Nothing to relate to. Correct.

- So why would you...

- Have bothered specifying that trip in my tale?

- You found the ghosts." Tim's eyes are widening now.

- "We've got ourselves a clever one here. Yes, my 'projections' had stayed around the ruins. Which made me wonder if they were not attached to it, hence had been part of this world at some point. And I deduced the ghosts theory might make sense. Though I had no 'scientific' facts to rely it on.

- Did they attack you?", Damian asks.

- "No. But they did follow me back home. I was still wondering if my psyche was not responsible for these hallucinations. Nobody else around me would see anything. And most of times, I wouldn't either. But whenever I would really look, they would be right in front of me. It's hard to describe. It is like there are layers in my field of vision and they're standing in one of them. But one that doesn't quite superpose on the others. So when I pay attention to them, I squint. A bit like these 3D stereograms you know. Only, when I feel… vulnerable let's say, they jump to a closer layer, until they're upon me. And when that happens, for some reason, they're… not happy. It's like I'm being scolded for being weak. But at the same time, these, rare, very rare, times are when I am dying for some company. And, over the course of these years, in particular, I was.

- But miss…

- I know Alfred. You were there. All along, holding my hand. And that would keep them at bay. But really, nights were dreadful.

- That's why you would spend so much time…

- In the library yes. I would read throughout the night, while you slept, and sleep while you were striding around the house. But you know what they say about insomnia. That it is the key to the kingdom of wisdom. And it didn't take me long to figure out I could use this to my advantage. So I started experiencing. To vanquish my fear, I would talk to them. Taming them. After all, these were the things that kept me sane when I was going through horror as a baby. As I found a way to communicate with them, and again, it is hard to describe, like a precise wavelength I tune my mind up, I discovered they were all but threatening when I would come to them. And that is with their help that I deciphered my Mom's diary's enigma and found Amy.

- And then, you did not need them anymore." I am starting to understand. She nods.

- "As Amy fulfilled my life, I was not as much as looking at them. Which, again, makes me certain they're linked to my emotions and not just some sort of invisible beings that can hurt me at any time." I'm nodding now. "But then… her suicide invited them back. And she was amongst them now.

- Is it why you stayed with her decaying body for so long?", Dick asks.

- "No. That was pure derangement, caused by insufferable heartache. I'm not right in the head if you haven't noticed." Again with her cute smile. That woman's killing me. "What happens in the physical world does not relate to theirs in any other way than through my feelings. And what goes one way, doesn't go the other. So the despair of her loss let them invade my brain but they couldn't incite me to move her corpse around. But in the midst of the crazy house I was at that point, I saw that bright silhouette. I saw Bruce. And he was in the last plane, the one that was bringing him back. I dared think, to me, at the time." She takes a peek at me. I got it dammit. "So that woke me up alright. I did step out of the 'layer'. And back with the living. I did my best to burry this experience with my sister. Of course, I didn't want others to see my weakness. Because, to a brain like mine, dementia is the only weakness I can be frightened of. I didn't want to become like my brother. But I first and foremost wanted to put that behind. Fresh for a new beginning with Bruce. Aaaaand… Nope.

- In the light of these elements, it does make a lot more sense you know." I feel the need to justify myself. I've been poked at a lot, between her story in the pit, and this discourse, she has pointed an accusing finger at me every time she could. But how did she expect me to know? She's being slightly unfair here. "My purpose was never to let you down. I might have been able to help if you had confided in me." Alfred's eyes are bouncing from me to her. He knows I'm right. He's not sure she's ready to hear it. I'm not sure either. She looks away. I won.

- "I guess." She seems sad again. Dick places his hand on her lap and that immediately triggers her to beam. Wow. Fuck that guy. Bruce, he's your son, and your most loyal. So take the edge off. "Sorry." Did she just…? "They didn't come back for a while though. The way Bruce's return had snapped me out of it had been that effective. I think I built stronger barriers then. And for some time, work was occupying me enough that I didn't need them. Because, in the end, that's what it comes down to. After a while, despite Alfred and Dick's visits, I would feel pretty lonely. I started to go out, to involve myself into music stuff. But it was not enough. Actually, the process of writing songs was probably an inch closer to opening the door.

- Is it why you called Eva's album 'The Open Door'?", he asks.

- "Bingo." She rolls her eyes with amusement. "These past, say, five years, I learnt to live with them. If anything, I needed Amy. And Mom and Dad. One morning, they were there. And it felt reassuring.

- And they would not be aggressive?", Dam insists.

- "No. Your grandparents were never aggressive. Amy would, sometimes, scratch my wrists. To pass time while I was sleeping. And I would wake up with blood stains on my pillow. And whenever my stupid brain would mull over Bruce again, she would come forward, louder every time.

- What was she saying to you?" This is important. I have to ask.

- "Well, that I was being a fool or stupid. I dunno. Generally, she was out speaking what my inner brain was thinking. Guarding me from weakening.

- And Mom and Dad?" She turns to Alfred. Almost asking for his permission. And keeps her gaze on him.

- "We would have conversations. With Alfred sometimes." I give him a quizzical look but he lowers his eyes.

- "It did feel like they were here.", he explains, "I am not the kind of man who relies on mysticism. But Miss Esmeralda appeared to have grabbed a reasonable approach to these visions. And the guidance they gave sounded well grounded.

- You are not to blame yourself Alfred.", I reassure him.

- "I dunno. I think I had found a balance in that… madness. Was it madness?" She's now addressing everybody. I think she's terrified that we could believe her crazy. I can see how Alfred's support was so important. And I know she is not mad. She made sense of the senseless. This woman is broken beyond repair and yet stands tall in the adversity life puts her through. The same supporting grin on our mouths gives her the answer she was hoping for.

- "But it was taking a toll on you.", Dick reminded her.

- "How do you know?", she frowns.

- "Faolan, we've been spending a lot of time together these past years. A lot of nights too.", he says with a smirk. Insolent brat. "I saw the blood. On the sheets sure. But running from your nose too. Though you always tried to hide it.

- Why didn't you…?

- If you hid it, I don't see how you would have let me talk it over.

- I… I'm sorry Dick." She looks at us in turn. "I'm sorry all of you." She lingers on me. One apology is far enough for today Esme. I know. "I understood I was merging with them gradually. The more I was hanging onto their layer, the more I was moving it towards me. I dunno how far this could have gone. If I could have messed up with our reality. But my brain was taking as much hits as they would take consistence.

- They were becoming real?", I ask.

- "I'm not sure. I think they were real all along. But I could hug Mom. Like really, feel her in my arms. Mom, Dad and Amy. It became an evidence. I think I put pieces of my soul in them and that made them more tangible than the rest.

- Because there were others?

- Oh there was… a whole world there Bruce. Like… a darker version of this one. This layer was filled with shapes and voices and faces and there was no fun in getting lost in there. Trust me.

- I do." The way she raises her eyebrow proves she didn't expect me to let that slip. "So how did you use this to get us out of the pit?

- Ah yeah. Back to the essential. Well, by the time I understood the Joker had centered his scheme around me, for some reason…

- He fantasizes you.

- But why? I never gave him any hint.

- There's no point of asking why when it comes to the Joker, Esme.

- I don't agree. This man is dangerously clever. He designs intricate traps to get what he wants, and makes sure you can trail him. You have to ask why.

- His actions, yes. Not his intentions.

- I'll accept that then." I can see she's not entirely convinced. But we both know that's another debate to postpone. "For now. But when I understood I was the reason you were all kept in there, I also deduced I was the key out. That's how these psychopaths work right? So as he went on and on about making me insane, I could hear Amy's sarcastic laugh you know. Mom touched my shoulder, right here, and whispered the words in my ear. That they had kept me from going insane all this time. That they would not fail me now. It was very confusing. I cannot help feeling they were my insanity but assess the fact that I had not turned into a female version of the Joker. As far as I know. So yeah. At that point, I felt confident I could not go insane. And from how easy it's been to convince the Clown of that, I think he already knew. Would that be why he chose me?

- Maybe, but he also fantasizes you.

- Fine." She's not happy about it. But it is true. One far better reason to keep her close from now on. "All this info tangled until it became coherent. If he wanted me to break lose and give in to insanity, I would have to get rid of my protection against it." The emotion is still raw. Her voice just shivered so slightly. "I had to make my angels fall. To burn them. I didn't know for sure the outcome of such an operation. To be honest, I didn't even know how to proceed. But no one could see them. Not even Superman. They were… something else. Something powerful. So I had a little faith." I'll have you swallow this back Pup. "And I burnt these pieces of my soul." The tear rolling on her skin leaves yet another scar. She brushes it away like scars don't matter. They matter to me. You should teach me. "I just opened that motherfucking door and yanked them back in. I think that's what produced that massive amount of energy and fucked the Joker's systems up. Maybe. I believe, in that split second, that they understood they were going back. Back far away. Far from me, far from us. So they tried to help one last time and got where none of us could, broke the computers down and opened that trapdoor. But that's not what drained me out. Shutting the door was the tough part. I pushed past my focus barrier on that one. And… Well I passed out, we got out and I am going on a second round of my favorite food in the world before all your selfish stomachs disregard mine."

She's plunging across the table to catch the last slice of pie. Damian could have easily outspeeded her, I know it for a fact, but he gladly lets her have that reward. And I think that gesture plays for a shared consent.

- "Shall I bring the dessert then?

- Oh my God Al, don't tell me you…

- Vegan pains au lait, Miss.

- Boys… I'm getting fat tonight. There's nothing you can do about it."

Once the laughters have faded and everyone has mucked in clearing the table, I dismiss Tim and Damian. I'll have to find an excuse for their long school absence tomorrow. I'll pretend we went on a surprise trip or something. After all, I'm the fickle billionaire around here. Oh the newspaper. I want to hand it back to Alfred. I push the kitchen door, only to come face to face with Dick looking all teary. I follow his gaze and find Esmeralda tenderly hugging Alfred who, on second glance, is actually shedding tears. I hear her speak softly.

- "Yes Alfred, I will stay. I promise you. I will never leave this house again."

And Alfred is glowing. And the corners of my mouth curl up before I can do anything about it. I guess that's what I wanted then. Obviously, that's what I wanted. I've learnt, long ago, that I can and must count on others. Dick is the perfect personification of it. But she had always been something else. And as much as I hate and try to avoid it, I need her. She will stay. By my sides.

- "I'll have your and Master Dick's belongings moved back here then."

Obviously. Obviously yes. C'mon Bruce, it's a good thing! He's your strongest ally, the kids love him. Why do you feel... so mixed about this? You know why. He's not the problem. You love that kid as your own blood. He grew up over and beyond all your expectations. But seeing them love each other? You know it'll hurt. Well, get over it big boy. Because that's the price to pay for your past mistakes and your future balance. So keep smiling. Make her understand that's what you want. Oh she saw it, don't you worry.

So that'll be interesting. I've come to sit back in my armchair, to read some more before getting a long and well deserved rest. Alfred busies himself around the laundry now, after having lit the fire in the hearth in front of me. And I hear Dick's voice.

- "I've got to check my emails. Honestly, God knows what the circus has been about, not even talking about the show…

- What? My show?", Esme purrs.

- "Yes, your show Beautiful.", I hear they kiss. "I'll use the library's computer. Go to bed, I'll join you later on.

- I will read just a bit and I'll go to bed yeah.

- Don't wait for me.

- Now that would be a waste." Here with the smooching again. "See you later Coilean."

She tip toes in and settles at the end of the sofa, just paces from me. I can feel her stare. I start by ignoring her. But she won't have it. After a short silence, she chimes in:

- "The boys are sooooo cute. They asked me to kiss them goodnight.

- The three of them?", she chooses to ignore that one. Better.

- "Tim needs me to help him with some physics lesson he's not getting the hang of. For his MSc you know. Don't you help him sometimes?

- I've neither the time nor your level of competence.

- You have the level of parenthood that I don't, though." She smiles smugly. I don't even need to lift my eyes to see it. But she's growing impatient now, tapping her nails on the wooden armrest. Spit it already! "Bruce. Are we gonna address what happened in the car or not?" There you go. You shall have it.

- "And how should we do that?" I am trying hard to look unimpressed. I don't want to throw drama in that fight since it's edgy enough by itself. I'll play it cool.

- "Well, you need to tell me why you kissed me.

- I was exhausted. I am exhausted for that matter. We all are. And I had just almost lost you. So…" I had almost lost you. And now that you're back, it's even clearer. Things are lighter when you're around. Like you take on some weight or something. I didn't ask for that. But it seems, you care after all. Maybe you never stopped caring.

- "So what?" All these years at the head of Wayne Enterprises, you have done a marvelous job at respecting our parents' will. And mine. You kept my secret, heeded my decisions, even though they made you suffer. I will not lose you again.

- "I guess I just let things happen. I'm deeply sorry, if that's what you want to hear." Ever.

- "I want to hear the truth." Of course you do Pup. You've always been so honest. With everyone. But you did conceal your sister. From me. What were you afraid of really? "You know me too well to believe I'd be happy with that." She's right. "How almost losing me justifies such a kiss?" Now you're with Dick. And that's fine. Though it did confound me at first. It's just that you helped me raise him, if only for a short while. So there was this mother-son thing going on that made your couple seem bizarre to me. But I've seen you together. You pretty much make a lot of sense. And I will not, never, come between you.

- "Seeing you crumbling down, falling unconscious and bleeding your brain out did leave me in a… shocked condition." It would go against my principles. So I will not as much as ask myself if I'd like to be with you, instead of Dick. Thus, what happened in that car was meaningless. That's what I will tell you. But tactfully this time. Not my area. But I do not want to scare or piss you off. I don't want you to walk away. Ever again.

- "Why?

- Esme… Because we grew up together. And we had this… hum, relation… bond going on." Careful now, cow boy. "And I realized, as I thought you were dying, hum…" The flames are making orange and black shadows dance over her features. Damn, she's beautiful. Stunningly fascinating. "… I can't live without you." Did I just blurt that out? Did she lead me to this? And that nightgown she's wearing. The shadows… It reminds me of that night in the cave. In the pool. Just hours before I left her to her fate. Alone.

- "No less!" She's playing now. The game is on. Wait. What game? No, I don't want to flirt with her. Or do I? Well I shouldn't. Gather your shit Bruce, it's not heading the right way. Wear your mask.

- "What did you expect? That the near death of my only childhood friend would leave me aloof?

- I dunno. You're not exactly the wide emotional range type of guy. And that kiss… was very emotional.

- I don't want to lose you ever again Pup. My way of showing this to you was most definitely inadequate and I apologize. Sincerely." I am convincing her. I can see. "I'm just immensely happy that our bond seems to have somehow survived.

- Me too, Bruce. Me too. I honestly thought it was severed for good." Her smile now. The warmest. Warmer than this bloody fire underlining her curves and making her body so… indecently delightful. "But I'm not sure what to do about Dick. I hate holding secrets for him." Cold shower. "Amy was my big but only secret from you guys. And now, this is kinda annoying. I don't want to feel guilty just because he doesn't know. I mean, it's not like I kissed you back. I did slap you right away.

- Oh you did yeah.

- You deserved it." She's ever so cute when she does that challenging face.

- "Well, it didn't hurt as much as the second.

- You make it sound like I overreacted.

- Ah ah, you did. But I did too. So we're even." She seems pleased with this outcome. But I have to focus on Richard now. "I'll talk to Dick. I understand your position. I respect him too much and he probably -

- Overheard?"

I didn't see that coming. He's good! We're both startled and direct our gazes to the darkened corner of which his voice came out as he enters the firelight.

- "Sneaking up on your girlfriend?", Esmeralda casually asks.

- "Sneaking up on people is kind of what we do around here." I get to my feet.

- "Son, I was going to…

- I know.", he cuts me off, "Your talk was exhaustive." I shouldn't feel embarrassed but a part of me does. "I get it." He marks a short pause that feels like an hour to me. "Don't worry, I understand." He recovers his sly smile. And I'm left bewildered. My boy grew up so much. I knew he had but… Could he be really forgiving me? Wow. Way to go Bruce!

- "What?", Esme stands up as well and she's now in the last angle of this triangle. I see it in her face that she's gonna say something silly. "You're not even gonna fight over me? Dang, that's not even fun!" She's so good at relaxing tensions. "I would have pulled you apart, putting myself in jeopardy between your punches…

- You would have overdone it of course.", Dick comments.

- "Of course." Can they do anything else than this smirk, seriously? "And that's why you love me hi hi." Chirpy chirps chirp.

- "Have to admit."

So much for the restrained thoughts.