Author's Note: I'm speechless. I have no speech.
Day One-Hundred Forty-One: It's All Coming Back to Me Now by Celine Dion
"If you don't own up to it, I'm leaving. Forever."
An ultimatum. An empty, meaningless threat at that, but an ultimatum, nonetheless.
"I have nothing to own up to!" she exclaimed. The words came out sounding as dangerous as shards of glass. "If I'd wanted to sleep with someone else, I could've easily done that."
"Maybe you should, then!"
That was their last venomous exchange before he left. He walked out the door. He was gone.
She pretended that she was fine with it for the first few hours. Then, night fell over the town and the temperature dropped.
Spencer thought back to everything she had said. Her body felt so cold. Her bed was so cold. She didn't think she'd miss him this much. To be honest, she didn't think she'd miss him at all.
But she did.
That first night went on for eternity. The next day felt even longer. She cried for him. The sun poured in from her window and she wanted it to go away. It was playing some sort of sick game with her. It was pretending that everything was sunny and cheerful when it really wasn't.
A few days later, suddenly and unexpectedly, she just stopped crying. She stopped just as quickly as he had left. She blotted out every single memory she ever made with him.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew he'd come back. They always found their way back to each other. They always did. They always made up for lost time and then some, but in the end, they lamented about the time that was really lost to them. They thought of all the things they could've done in the time that they spent blocking the other out.
A few months later and everything had changed. He didn't come back. She didn't go crawling back. It was said and done and over with. They hadn't seen each other in all that time. She hadn't seen or heard of him ever since.
"So are you going to that party I was telling you about?"
Just as Spencer was about to respond to Hanna, there she saw him.
He looked very different. He was just as beautiful as the day he left her, but today felt different. Today, she…longed for him.
She waited a bit for him to notice her. Although she was ready to walk up to him, as soon as he took note of her, she looked away.
He saw exactly who he wanted to see. She was gorgeous, as always, but he wanted her now. He wanted her back, too.
Hanna looked over her shoulder. "Oh, I see. I guess I'll just be going then. Call me when you're done making up," the blonde said before walking off. Spencer was about to protest, but Toby took this as his golden opportunity to see her again.
"What are you doing here, Toby?" she asked.
"I want to talk to you. Is there an issue with that?"
She hesitated. "Can we talk…back at my place?"
"I miss you."
She let out a small laugh as she sat and put down her coffee on the coffee table. "We go through this every single time we take a break—"
"No, this time is different. I miss you and I'm actually sorry. I never want to do all those things again, and I don't want you to do those awful things, either. I don't want to fight," he told her.
She nodded slightly. "I understand that."
"And?"
She shrugged. "And what?"
"Are we actually going to try?"
"I didn't agree to anything, Toby," she reminded him.
"Spencer," he began before putting his hand on her knee. She shivered. She suddenly remembered why it was so easy to give into his touch.
"I don't know how much I want to change," she told him as she brushed his hand away. "Everything felt right…except for when it wasn't."
"I want to stop resenting you."
She was a little hurt. "You resent me?"
He shrugged. "I…I loved you, but…sometimes you made me upset. It hurt to hear all these things about you."
"But none were true—"
"But I don't know how those rumors started."
She sighed. "Can we try?"
"I want to try."
She reached for his hand. Her touch made him shudder slightly. It made him think of every other time they'd made up.
"Can you hold me right now?" she asked.
He nodded before pulling her into an embrace.
She felt safe for the first time in a while. She felt…at peace. She felt happy.
After a few seconds lingering there, holding each other, she pulled away and gave him a kiss. It was soft and passionate at first.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" she whispered slowly. "I thought you had…rules about things like this."
He nodded. "I'm sure. I want you. I need you."
She wanted him, too.
Suddenly, what was lost and dead and gone long ago was there again. It was like a fire rekindled inside of her—inside of them.
"Do you forgive me? For leaving?" he inquired softly.
It was a good question. After he slammed the door shut, she was so angry at him. She didn't want to waste her tears or her time thinking of him or mourning their relationship.
But she had a lot to be sorry for, too. She'd done him wrong many times. She'd done indescribable things to him. She was willing to forgive him because they hurt each other and they were both sorry. They both deserved forgiveness.
She nodded slightly. "Do you forgive me?" she asked.
He nodded. She saw him gulp. She opened her mouth to speak again, but he pulled her in for a kiss. This one seemed desperate, like he was searching for something. She touched him—no, scratched him—like she was craving him. She was.
The kisses became more passionate and more desperate. Before the two of them knew it, they were in Spencer's bedroom, unclothing each other.
This felt so beautifully familiar to her. At the same time, it was all new. She kissed him gingerly and he touched her passionately. It felt so good it almost felt illicit.
And still, it was right.
Sarah: I don't care! I post a bunch of weird shite anyway. But if that's what you wanna do, that's cool, too...
MilaMizz: It was raining at night and the thunder scared the shite out of me. My dog was probably having a panic attack. The only cats I'd want are...Minin Allen, Brian Colfer, maybe Sheila Michele (Sarfati), Pandora Cavanaugh, and Mowgli Cavanaugh. Aside from them, I'm totally a dog person. I like rain, but really loud thunder and lightning scares the shite out of me and I'm scared of getting shocked even just trying to wash my hands or brush my teeth or whatever. My mom is really paranoid and won't let me near windows when it's thunder and lightning. She hates when I want to take a shower. Now I'm scared to. Otherwise, I like rain (except for when it's disgustingly humid, which it sometimes is in the summer). The day after a storm is absolutely disgusting, though. At least, in summer. And Dance Moms is on tonight. I hate Abby, but I love all the girls.
AL3110: Ugh. I should call you Pretty Eyes. mine are boring. They're so brown they're almost black. Okay, all is done. Now can we meet?
tobyequalshottness: Oh, well...permanent marker? Glad you liked it!
I cannot post tomorrow :( And I can't update SSS tonight :( And I really want to :( Maybe I'll just try :)
Okay, Thursday's one-shot will be Umbrella by Rihanna. Please review/favourite/follow! -Kayson