Author's Note: Thank you for taking the time to post a little something every day, I really appreciate it. Even if I can't add all your suggestions to the story, please know I nonetheless read your suggestions and I keep them in a notebook. So they may appear in another story. The angst/sadness should be less strong now as they need to focus on their couple and on what they want from it.

Chapter Seventeen

The last hours had turned her life projects into a complete chaos but Jane felt fine nonetheless. As a matter of fact, it had been a while since she had felt so much at peace with herself. Perhaps that serenity simply came from the fact that she had listened to her desires instead of abdicating to the dictates of society for once, and from the fact that she had dared to assume her feelings.

It wasn't easy. She had had to overcome many obstacles in order to embrace that night with Maura, all those changes the night that they had spent together implied. The moment being was delicate and hard to handle but she was glad to live it nonetheless. She didn't feel like running away from it anymore. The world hadn't stopped turning. She was still breathing. There was nothing to dread.

On the contrary.

Maura had fallen asleep rocked by the quiet movement of the high-speed train. Her head felt heavy against Jane's shoulder but warm as well. Jane didn't dare to move. She didn't want to anyway. She enjoyed the touch because it felt natural. It was even soothing.

She closed her eyes and focused on the night that she and Maura had shared. Maura's behavior had surprised her. For some reason, Jane had always assumed that Maura was authoritative in bed. In control. But she had showed a lot of sweetness instead, something close to a timidity that had taken Jane aback. She had been gentle, and careful. Perfect.

Jane took a deep breath before sliding a hand along Maura's thigh with the easiness that only daily gestures own. Except it was the first time she did that. She had never showed such degree of affection towards Maura until now.

She had slept with a woman. With her best friend. At forty-one years old, her life had tipped over and she didn't know anything anymore about herself. She could listen to her current feelings though: she liked feeling Maura against her body, she liked the taste of the kisses they shared. She liked making love to her. All those conclusions were very basic ones but they brought the comfort Jane absolutely needed right now.

She didn't want to think about the near future. The shadow of Quantico darkened her current lightness way too much.

One thing at a time.

She and Maura had spent a single night together. A mere nothing in a life. Wait and see. Only time could tell whether that relationship was really meant to be. Besides, the change was very sudden. It was almost crazy. The only thing Jane knew was that she didn't regret it.

She couldn't fantasize about anything. She couldn't make plans for the future already.

Being with Maura was different from any of her previous relationships, not because Maura was a woman but because the bond they shared was a lot more powerful than any bond Jane had built with anyone else. It hadn't been awkward to undress Maura, to kiss her inner thighs and to caress her breasts. It had simply felt right and if Jane was ever asked about it then she would sincerely say that she was more than eager to do it again.

It wasn't a one-night stand. Because it was Maura. There was necessarily a minimum of seriousness in whatever was currently happening to them. Of course, Jane couldn't help wondering whether her desires for her friend were old or if they were all new. The truth was that she couldn't tell. Not just yet. Perhaps she had been denial. Perhaps it hadn't hit her until then.

Yet that implicit seriousness was also the root of the problem.

"I'm sorry." Maura's sleepy voice took Jane out of her reverie. Maura settled back on her seat. "I must have fallen asleep."

"It's okay."

Jane turned her head in order to look at Maura. Something had changed in the way she now saw her friend. Maura had let her see a vulnerable side of her persona during the night, the most personal one as well.

It had to have an impact on Jane's perspective. A positive one.

Their bond had strengthened. Jane could feel it. She wondered if Maura saw her with new eyes as well but she didn't dare to ask anything about it. It would have been way too awkward, even more on that train. They weren't alone and the coach was very quiet. Besides, she didn't have the courage to open up about all those wonders. She wasn't good at expressing feelings. It was an exercize that she particularly disliked. It had always made her feel very awkward, and embarrassed.

She preferred to take action any time.

And it's exactly what she did. She leaned over to plant a soft kiss on Maura's lips. Without any warning.

She kept on making the first move and she couldn't help thinking how unusual it was for her. She didn't force herself though. She did it because she wanted to do it. It simply didn't match with the behavior she usually had when with a romantic partner. She had always been a bit passive, a bit uncertain.

Not anymore, not with Maura.

"How long does the train journey last?"

"Nope." Maura shook her head. She took a sip of water and held back a yawn. She felt tired but happy to be on that train with Jane. "It's a surprise. I won't tell you anything about it."

The Atlantic Ocean? Jane could have rolled her eyes – she could have teased Maura and they would have bickered – but she enjoyed their sweetness way too much to even dare to disturb it. As a matter of fact, she missed the heat of Maura's head on her shoulder. She felt cold now.

Maura must have read through her mind because she instantly went to hold Jane's hand – the one that rested on her lap – in order to squeeze it tightly.

"I just hope that – wherever we're going to – it won't rain. Though to be honest with you, it looks beautiful in the rain too. It looks beautiful all the time."

Jane didn't say anything back. Maura's statement could hardly be taken as a hint and all of a sudden Jane regretted to not have paid more attention to the geography of France when in school. The travel guide book she had with her was only for Paris. Maura had really taken her aback with their sudden departure.

"Had you planned on making this trip? Even before I decided to come with you to Paris? Was it part of your plan already or you..."

Jane didn't finish her sentence. She had a hard time assuming that Maura had been spontaneous because it didn't fit. It didn't fit at all. Yet at no moment had Maura told her about some getaway.

"A bit of both, maybe... But then my stay in Paris was supposed to be a lonely one. And I feel anything but lonely when you're standing by my side."

The confession made Jane blush slightly. Maura had spoken softly, with her usual eloquence. She fully assumed her words and their meanings. You could see it in her eyes, in the way they glimmered of delight.

"Am I being too blunt? Again?"

"What?! No!" Jane shook her head as vehemently as she could. She didn't want Maura to take her silence for a possible discomfort. "No, it's... It's sweet."

Jane wished she could put words on her feelings with the same easiness Maura showed. Yet it was probably not that easy for Maura in the end. Jane hadn't forgotten the despair in Maura's voice on the West point of the Île Saint-Louis when she had opened up about her feelings. She remembered the shaking voice and the tears in those hazel eyes she loved so much.

It wasn't easy for anyone.

"I could tell you the same actually. I don't feel lonely when you're with me." It wasn't a lie. Jane felt complete when Maura was around. Maura's presence in her life brought her a lot of joy, and a lot of warmth. "You know, just because I don't say some things doesn't mean I don't live them."

Jane looked down. Her very own confession was very lame. Or at least she thought that it was lame. But if she had looked up at that exact moment, then she would have seen the joy her words had brought to Maura.

"We don't have to put words on everything. Sometimes words aren't needed."

A shy smile lit up Jane's traits. She let Maura's words sink in. Slowly, peacefully. She was about to say something back when the voice of a man on her left caused her to jump with surprise.

"Billets, s'il vous plaît.*"

The inspector. Jane hadn't heard him walk in the coach. She quietly watched how Maura held the tickets out to him and how they exchanged a few words in French. They had left Paris for an hour but the train hadn't stopped anywhere yet. All Jane could now see by the large windows was an endless series of fields.

The French countryside looked just as monotone as the American one.

"What did you tell him?"

Jane waited for the inspector to move to another passenger in order to talk to Maura anew. Her curiosity was piqued.

"I asked him if we would make it on time, because we've left with a ten-minute delay."

"Is it an issue?"

A mysterious smile played on Maura's lips but the sparkle in her eyes betrayed a delight that caused her to laugh lightly. She was enjoying the mystery that floated over their destination just as Jane was enjoying the serenity of their morning on the train.

"Maybe."

Jane's thumb brushed the back of Maura's hand with a discreet gentleness.

"It's okay, to be honest. I'm not in a hurry."

As a matter of fact, Jane wished nothing but time to get suspended.

...

*Billets, s'il vous plaît: Tickets, please.