Chapter Twelve

Luckily I finish my essay as someone knocks on the door. I save my document five times before I push it aside and walk over to answer the door.

I twist the lock to the side and yank the door toward me. I take a step back involuntarily.

"What are you doing here? How did you even-"

"I want to talk to you." Makenna remains standing in the doorway until I realize that I should actually get out of her way.

"Come in," I say. Though this may not be a good idea. I take a seat on my bed and offer her a spot on Fernando's bed across from mine. He's in the library, so I doubt he will mind.

"I don't care about the stupid rules," she says. "Screw the rules." This surprises me. Makenna is smart, she should know the consequences of this. I have warned her of them before. And because of that I am slightly put off.

"You don't care about the rules because the consequences don't affect you," I say. My voice rises as each word flows out of my mouth. "But I care about them. It's illegal to date students. I'm not going to do it. I want to date you, but I'm not going to."

"At all?" Her voice breaks. She looks down at her ripped jeans and sniffles. She wipes the back of her hand against her cheeks. "It's not illegal to have a crush." The second part of what she says is true, but I ignore it.

"I will not break the rules," I say firmly, with my voice at a more reasonable tone. "I'm sorry. Three years age difference doesn't matter. The rules won't bend just because you're eighteen."

She looks up at me with wet eyes and slightly smeared mascara. Light streaks of eyeshadow touches the back of her hand. She has to bite her lip to keep it from wobbling.

"So there's no chance for us?" I expect her to cry, but she doesn't. Instead she looks at me straight in the eyes and says, "I want to be the girl that you take to your sister's wedding."

I always knew Makenna held my heart in her hands, but that shattered it. One slight movement shattered it.

"I never said there wasn't a chance," I say. I sigh. "It may have come out that way, so let me retract that portion of what I said." I clear my throat nervously. "I really want to date you. There are three weeks until your graduation, can you wait that long? It's only three weeks."

"I can change-"

"No! Don't ever change yourself for anyone but you. I don't want you to change. I love you the way you are. If you weren't who you are than I wouldn't have-"

"You love me?" I shouldn't have said that. I made things worse. I'm adding fuel to the fire.

"I do love you, but I will not date you as long as you're a high school student. That's all I have to say on the matter. Why don't you understand the rules?"

That may have come out harshly and I honestly don't mean it to. Allison Malloy would like to throw her own book at me, I'm sure, for what I just said. I hate to hurt her like this, but she doesn't understand the consequences of the choices she wants to make and the sacrifices I would have to make.

"Student teachers are as much teachers as regular teachers are, Makenna. The same rules apply to me as they do everyone else. I can't control them. And if I could, I wouldn't change them."

"Am I not important enough?" I groan.

"You don't understand and I'm trying very hard to get you to understand. It is one hundred percent against the rules for anyone who has authority to date someone who has no power. Students can't date teachers, students can't date student teachers, but students can date students. We can't date as long as you are a student."

"Three weeks?" she asks in a small voice.

"In three weeks you're done with high school. Forever. Once you have graduated I would be more than happy to go on a date with you, but I refuse until then."

"I told my sister about this," she whispers meekly. "She told me it was illegal too."

"Your sister's right," I say more calmly. "Google the rules if you want, but I can't date you."

Makenna looks back down at her lap with her hair hanging around her face. I can't tell if she's crying or not. She sniffles but no tears fall from her cheeks that I can see.

"Am I a terrible person for trying to justify this?" If there are any pieces of my heart left to break, they're broken.

"No, you're not a terrible person," I say. "But you shouldn't try to justify it. If this was your daughter, what would you do? How would you feel?" She takes a while to think about her answers.

"I wouldn't want my daughter to date him until she graduated at the very least." She sniffles again and remains silent.

"It's only three weeks until your graduation," I remind her. "Can you wait that long?"

She nods without saying a word. I feel a weight lift off my chest. I convinced her. I may have severely injured us both, but it will do is good in the long run.

"I guess I'll go," she says after a few minutes. She stands and takes her purse with her. "No hug. I hope to see you Wednesday."

"No," I say. "No hug. I hope to see you Wednesday as well. I'll try and get my work done on time."

Makenna smiles sadly and walks out the door, shutting tightly behind her. At least I got her to understand, but I wish there was an easier way to do it.