He would never become accustomed to the way stepping through a shifting vision felt. It was so… disturbing, almost like walking through a waterfall of thick, viscous, warm honey. He felt as if the melting colors were clinging to him and that he would emerge from the other side coated in a layer of slime. It didn't happen, but still, he kept expecting it.
He was relieved to see Rose still fighting. She was consumed with a battle lust that was wondrous to behold, punching and kicking; as he watched she dropped down, spinning, staking another Strigoi in a movement that was completely graceful and beautiful. He watched as the night wore on—she never seemed to tire in her dance of death. She was the ancient battle goddess Zorya Utrennyaya brought to life, her dark hair flaring out behind her like a black silken veil, her eyes shining with rage as she moved from one enemy to the next. Even covered with mud and gore, she was a vision.
He watched her with an artist's eye, committing every detail to memory. His mind saw the masterpiece he would create with the captioned prayer that his ancestors had uttered before going into battle. "Defend me, O Zorya, with your veil from the enemy, from the arquebus and arrow..."
She fought on, never faltering, until not a single Strigoi was standing. Ozera stood beside her, both breathless and sweaty, their eyes darting around, searching for their next victim.
"We gotta find another one," she said.
"There are no others," a familiarly accented voice called out.
Rose turned and looked at Belikov, her face transforming in an instant from that of a battle weary warrior to a woman in love. He still couldn't see her aura, but he would bet it was flashing with love and fear and relief. The emotions played across her face so rapidly Adrian almost couldn't catch them all. She looked as though she were about to throw herself on the battered, bloody man, not caring who might witness the reunion.
He stared back at her, their eyes locked, his face full of love and relief. Dimitri turned and gestured to the eastern sky. The horizon was pink and purple. It was nearly sunrise.
As the colors began to blur, Adrian uttered a curse. Stepping through the oozing blur, he noticed his hands were shaking. How many visions would he be forced to endure? He wanted to wake up. He wanted a drink. He wanted…
Well, this was interesting. Not a scene of battle, although evidence of carnage was everywhere. Belikov and Rose were walking through the forest, past a small cabin. Both seemed…tense, keeping their eyes straight ahead on the path before them. When Dimitri spoke a moment later, his voice was hesitant.
"Rose, about what happened—"
She groaned. "I knew it. I knew this was going to happen."
He glanced over at her, startled. "That what was going to happen?"
"This. The part where you give me the huge lecture about how what we did was wrong and how we shouldn't have done it and how it's never going to happen again."
What the hell was she talking about? What had they done that was… Oh no. Hell no. He wouldn't have…
He still looked shocked. "Why would you think that?"
"Because that's how you are," She sounded as if she was about to cry. "You always want to do the right thing. And when you do the wrong thing, you then have to fix it and do the right thing. And I know you're going to say that what we did shouldn't have happened and that you wish—"
Whatever she was about to say was cut off as Belikov wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her against his body in the shadow of a tree. Their lips met as if the kiss they shared was the only thing that mattered, as if they had to join together or else all would be lost. A hot wave of jealousy and longing raced through Adrian, flushing his skin and filling him with a slow burning rage. Finally, they broke apart, the Russian still pressing her up against his body.
"I don't think what we did was wrong," he said softly. "I'm glad we did it. If we could go back in time, I'd do it again."
Shit. He'd finally swallowed his upright morals and made love to Rose. Damn him to hell a thousand times over. Rose's soft, happy smile only made her more beautiful, twisting the knife Adrian felt in his heart.
"Really? What made you change your mind?"
"Because you're hard to resist," he said, amused. "And … do you remember what Rhonda said?"
Rhonda? The soothsayer at Court? What in God's name did she have to do with all this?
"Something about how you're going to lose something…"
"'You will lose what you value most, so treasure it while you can.'"
"Wait. You think I'm going to die? That's why you slept with me?" She looked upset.
Even though he'd already figured out that they'd been intimate, hearing her say it made it hurt a million times more. How did this happen? When? Obviously it was in the future. If he could just figure out the time frame, he might be able to avert it, to stop the travesty from happening in the first place. Rose was meant for him, damn it!
"No, no, of course not. I did what I did because … believe me, it wasn't because of that. Regardless of the specifics—or if it's even true—she was right about how easily things can change. We try to do what's right, or rather, what others say is right. But sometimes, when that goes against who we are…you have to choose. Even before the Strigoi attack, as I watched all the problems you were struggling with, I realized how much you meant to me. It changed everything. I was worried about you—so, so worried. You have no idea. And it became useless to try to act like I could ever put any Moroi life above yours. It's not going to happen, no matter how wrong others say it is. And so I decided that's something I have to deal with. Once I made that decision … there was nothing to hold us back." He hesitated, brushing her hair back as he gently ran the back of his fingers up and down her cheek. "Well, to hold me back. I'm speaking for myself. I don't mean to act like I know exactly why you did it."
"I did it because I love you," She said.
Adrian's heart, already cracked, shattered in a billion pieces. Yes, he knew she loved the other man, but to hear her say it—to hear Rose give Dimitri Belikov the words he himself so desperately wanted to hear her soft voice whisper in his ear… It was complete and utter agony.
Belikov laughed. "You can sum up in one sentence what it takes me a whole speech to get out."
"Because it's that simple. I love you, and I don't want to keep pretending like I don't."
"I don't either." His hand dropped from her face and found her hand. Fingers entwined, they began walking again. "I don't want any more lies."
"Then what'll happen now? With us, I mean. Once all of this is done … with the Strigoi…" Rose asked, gazing up at him with a look of utter adoration.
"Well, as much as I hate to reinforce your fears, you were right about one thing. We can't be together again—for the rest of the school year, that is. We're going to have to keep our distance."
Her face fell into an adorable pout and she stared down at the ground. She sighed, leaning against him, leaning her head against his muscular upper arm.
Belikov smiled down at her for a moment, then stared off into the sky, his face thoughtful. "After you graduate and are out with Lissa …"
"You're going to ask to be reassigned, aren't you? You won't be her guardian."
"It's the only way we can be together," he said.
"But we won't actually be together," she pointed out.
Hell no, they wouldn't be together, not if Adrian had his way. Hell would freeze over before he let it happen. He'd have his aunt send Belikov back to Russia. He would have to obey a direct order from the queen—if he did he'd be forced to resign from guardian service altogether.
Belikov sighed. "Us staying with her gives us the same problem—me worrying more about you than her. She needs two guardians perfectly dedicated to her. If I can get assigned somewhere at Court, we'll be near each other all the time. And in a secure place like that, there's more flexibility with a guardian's schedule."
"Well," she said softly, "we might actually see more of each other if we're guarding different people. We can get time off together. If we were both with Lissa, we'd be swapping shifts and always be apart."
They looked at each other, their faces full of hope and joy. And love. For fucks sake, they were making him nauseous. They were almost out of the forest, back in sight of the others, when Belikov spoke again.
"You'll be eighteen soon, but even so…" He sighed. "When this comes out, a lot of people aren't going to be happy."
"Yeah, well, they can deal." Rose said, a fierce look on her face.
"I also have a feeling your mother's going to have a very ugly conversation with me."
"You're about to face down Strigoi, and my mother's the one you're scared of?"
His lips twitched. "She's a force to be reckoned with. Where do you think you got it from?"
True. Very, very true. Maybe when he woke up, Janine Hathaway needed to receive an anonymous call about her daughter screwing her mentor. After all, Hell hath no fury like an Ivashkov scorned.
Rose laughed. "It's a wonder you bother with me then."
"You're worth it, believe me." He kissed her again, using the last of the forest's shadows for cover.
They broke apart reluctantly and left the woods, heading back toward the guardians' building.
The colors started melting, but this time, Adrian didn't comply. He didn't want to see whatever came next. With his luck he'd walk straight in on Belikov and his little dhampire in flagrante delicto.
He sank to the ground, refusing to take another step forward. It was time to wake up. He just needed to figure out how in the hell to do it.
A/N
Zorya Utrennyaya is a Russian/Slavic goddess depicted as a warrior goddess, fully armed and courageous, and was invoked to protect against death in battle with prayer.
She was the wife of Perun the war god and would accompany her husband into battle. In this role she was known to protect those warriors she favored against death by letting down her dark veil.
In addition, she was one of two Guardian goddesses known as the AURORAS. (Fitting for this story, don't you think?)