When I decided to start writing for this fandom I had no idea just how welcoming you all would be! It has been seriously amazing to read all the reviews and to know that so many of you are reading my story so thank you so much! I was feeling so stuck with my writing and then I started this story and I just can't stop writing and I feel like I owe that to all of you!
Thank you so much! Hope you enjoy this chapter and I PROMISE you're really going to like what I have planned next! -J
Chapter 8- Realization
Christmas had an affect on Jane and Maura, though the affect was different for both. Maura, torn up by her Mother's disappointing actions became rather withdrawn, focusing on her work and Amelia and not much else, even though Jane was a constant presence.
For her part, Jane also struggled after Christmas, Constance's words playing in her head over and over again as she did her best to shut them out. Yes she cared about Maura, and the Medical Examiner was easily the best friend she ever had, but for Jane that was where it ended. Or that's at least what she kept telling herself, constantly reminding herself that Constance Isles had no idea what she was talking about, especially when it came to her daughter. So with Constance's words pushed to the back of her mind, Jane worked her way into January, keeping a constant eye on Maura as she did whatever she could to help cheer her friend up, while also doing her best to make sure that no one was mistreating her at work.
"Here comes the Queen of the Dead," Jane heard one of the uniforms mutter under his breath as Maura arrived at their crime scene early one morning; the blonde dressed immaculately in black pants and a red coat with a pair of boots that the brunette had no idea how she walked in.
"Hey call her that again and you'll get my boot up your ass you hear me?" Jane practically growled, hoping Maura wouldn't hear her; the uniform having the decency to look embarrassed. "Hey Maur," she greeted, holding out an arm in order to assist the blonde over the rather icy ground towards their body.
"You know Jane you really don't need to be so crude all the time," Maura said in reply, having obviously caught the interaction between Jane and the other officer.
"Actually I think that I do," Jane rolled her eyes. "I don't like it when they call you that. You may be fine with ignoring it but I'm sure as hell not. And don't tell me it doesn't bother you because I know it does."
"I just don't see the point in stooping to their level. It's childish," Maura replied, not bothering to deny what Jane was saying as she gripped the brunette's arm a little tighter in order to steady herself. "It's just a name. You threatening all of them with bodily harm every time they utter it really isn't necessary. I'm fine."
Hearing what the honey-blonde was saying, but seeing the truth in her eyes, Jane could feel her own heart breaking, knowing just how hard Maura was taking everything since Christmas. "Maur hey wait a second alright?" She said, stopping and pulling Maura away from the officers gathered around and stepping in front of her in order to make sure the blonde was really listening to her. "Listen to me okay? Because this is important," she said, placing her hands on Maura's shoulders. "I'm going to defend you when I hear them calling you that. Every time. You wanna know why? Because you're my friend," she continued. "You're my friend and I care about you and I don't care if you say you're fine and it doesn't bother you, because it bothers me. So whether you like it or not I'm going to keep defending you. Got it?"
Meeting Jane's gaze, Maura could feel tears stinging her own eyes, overwhelmed by the brunette's concern for her; not used to having someone in her corner. "I got it," Maura eventually nodded, Jane giving her shoulder a firm squeeze. "Thank you Jane."
"Anytime," Jane winked, finally dropping her arms as she stood up straighter. "Now how about we get to work huh? We've got a murder to solve."
"Well I think I'll be the judge of that," Maura smirked, once again placing a hand on Jane's arm as the brunette's led her in the direction of their body where both Frost and Korsak were waiting, both looking rather impatient. "Well what do we have here?"
"Gun shot wound to the head," Frost answered even though it was unnecessary as Maura could obviously see the cause of death. "Hiker found him about an hour ago. No I.D on him."
"Given the temperatures our time of death may be difficult to determine," Maura said as she kneeled down beside their John Doe. "The cold would have delayed decomposition, but I should be able to give you a wide window," she explained, pulling out a syringe in order to collect the fluids she needed. "COD appears to be a GSW to the head, but obviously I will need to do a full autopsy in order to ensure no other factors were involved."
"We would expect nothing less," Jane replied, smiling when the ME looked up and gave her a stern look.
"I should have something for you this afternoon," Maura said, pulling off her gloves and allowing Korsak to help her back up. "Thank you."
"We'll send Jane down to see you this afternoon Dr. Isles," Korsak told her. "We'll need that bullet if we're going to find our shooter of course."
"Of course," Maura nodded as she packed up her things before turning back towards Jane. "My team will transport the body. I'm going to head back now. Are you driving with me or do you have your car?"
"Frost picked me up, I'll come with you," Jane replied, once again offering her arm. "I'll start looking for similar crimes when I get back to the office. Call me if you two find anything else," she said, placing a hand on Maura's back in order to guide her away. "Enjoy the cold!"
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Later that afternoon Jane barged into the morgue in typical Jane fashion shouting something about having donuts when she realized Maura was on the phone, clasping a hand over her mouth as she placed her box of donuts down and went to stand by the sinks, listening to Maura's end of the conversation.
"Yes I know originally said I would be able to attend the conference, but I'm afraid something has come up," Maura said into the phone, turning away from Jane as if it would prevent the brunette from listening. "I was looking forward to speaking as well, but I'm sorry I really don't think I can manage it. No….no…okay. Yes we'll talk about it later; I really need to get back to work. Yes I will call you back this evening. Thank you," the honey-blonde said before ending her call, taking a deep breath before turning around to face Jane who was watching her expectantly. "So donuts?" Maura raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a glazed one?"
"What was that about?" Jane ignored the blonde, gesturing towards the phone. "Who was that?"
"Oh it was nothing," Maura attempted to brush the Detective off. "Just an old colleague. Not important. I assume you came down to talk about our victim? Because I have good news I've got an I.D. so…."
"Were you talking about that conference you were supposed to go to next weekend?" Jane interrupted, remembering Maura mentioning a Medical Examiner conference that she was going to speak at quite some time ago. "I thought you were looking forward to that? You're not going?"
"Oh…well no," Maura replied, placing her gloves back on before moving over to the body laid out on one of the tables, obviously attempting to avoid the topic by burying herself in her work. "It's just not a good time for me to go away for a weekend."
"What? What do you mean? Why not?" Jane said, moving to stand in front of Maura, unwilling to drop the subject just like that. "A few weeks ago you were all set to go. What's changed?"
"I just don't think I should be leaving Amelia for a whole weekend," Maura told her, her attention still focused on the body so as to avoid Jane's gaze. "I mean we've never even spent a night apart from each other and I really don't think I should just run off to New York. I mean I know she loves Angela, but I'm just not entirely sure that she'll be comfortable spending the whole weekend alone with her."
"Maur come on," Jane said, softening her tone in a way that she knew would get the Doctor's attention. "Look at me all right? What's going on? Because I know you keep saying your fine but you haven't been the same," she continued, pausing as she considered the repercussions of bringing up Maura's mother. "You've been acting different since Christmas, and I'm pretty sure I know why and I get it…really I do. But you can't keep letting it bring you down like this. You don't need your Mother's approval. You're so smart and you're so good at what you do, but you're letting your Mom get in your head and you gotta stop," she said, giving a small smile as she watched hazel eyes fill with tears that Maura fought to keep at bay. "Go to the conference and teach those other Docs how to do their jobs or whatever you do at a Medical Examiner Conference," she said, making Maura chuckle.
"But Amelia…"
"Will be fine," Jane interrupted before Maura could argue any further. "I'll stay at the house with her. She's comfortable with me we'll be fine," she told her. "My Ma can keep an eye on her during the day if I have to work but I'll make sure I'm home for dinner. She'll love it I'm her best friend. Now come on? Whadd'ya say?"
"Well….I was really looking forward to the conference," Maura smiled, wiping away a stray tear with her sleeve. "Thank you Jane and…and I'm sorry for my behaviour lately I just…I'm…"
"I know," Jane nodded, reaching out and squeezing the blonde's arm, knowing she would get yelled at about contamination if she touched the gloves on her hands. "Now what do you have for me?"
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It wasn't that Maura didn't trust Jane, because she did. Maura knew how much Jane cared for Amelia and she was aware that the Detective was fully capable of keeping watch over the four-year-old for a few days while she was away; and yet her stomach was in knots. With her bags packed and ready to go, the honey-blonde stood in her foyer with Jane and Amelia, feeling like she was going to be sick as she held her daughter's hand tightly in her own.
"Mommy you're holding too tight," Amelia whined, startling Maura who immediately dropped the smaller hand, feeling guilty.
"I'm sorry Sweetie," Maura apologized, bending down so she was at the little girl's height. "Mommy's just feeling a little anxious. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm just going to miss you so much," she said, opening up her arms, grateful when Amelia immediately fell into them; throwing her little arms around Maura's neck. "Are you sure you'll be okay without me?"
"Maur we're going to be fine," Jane told her for what she was sure was the 100th time that day. "Mia and I are going to have a great time. Right Bug?"
"Yeah Mommy we're gonna have a great time," Amelia grinned as she pulled out of her Mother's embrace, placing a little hand on her cheek. "I'll be okay with Janie."
"You're not going to miss me?" Maura asked with a small pout, doing her best to hold back a smile at the adorable look on her daughter's face.
"I'll miss you lots Mommy," Amelia nodded seriously, her hand still resting on Maura's cheek. "But Janie will take care of me. You gotta go teach the other Docs," she said as Jane chuckled quietly, having been the one to explain exactly where her mother was going to the little blonde.
"Yeah Maur, you gotta go teach the other Docs," Jane grinned, moving to stand behind Amelia and placing a hand on her shoulder. "We're going to be fine. But you're going to miss your flight if you don't get going. Come on. It'll be fine," she assured her for the millionth time in the last two weeks. "You can call us when you get there and before bed. You'll be back before you know it."
"Yes...okay…you're right," Maura nodded, giving Amelia another quick kiss before standing back up to her full height in order to properly speak to Jane. "You'll call me if anything happens? You have my number obviously but the hotel number is…"
"On the fridge," Jane finished for her with a smile. "I know. We've been through this. Don't worry," she said, reaching out and pulling Maura into her arms, understanding the blonde needed the comfort. "We'll be just fine. And Ma will be around all weekend too so stop worrying."
"You're right I'm sorry," Maura sighed as she pulled out of Jane's arms and grabbed the handle of her suitcase. "Okay time to go," she said taking a deep breath. "I'll call you as soon as I land and I'll talk to you before bedtime Amelia. I love you and you be good for Jane okay?"
"I will," Amelia promised, as she took hold of one of Jane's hands. "Bye Mommy I love you."
"Safe flight. We'll talk soon," Jane smiled, lifting Amelia up onto her hip as she stood in the doorway both waving as Maura got into the car that was waiting for her out front.
Waving until the car was out of sight, Jane eventually turned her attention to Amelia; the little blonde watching her with a small smile on her face as she threaded her fingers into Jane's hair. "Alright kiddo. You ready for some fun?"
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Having spent the majority of her time with Amelia with Maura present, Jane knew that the weekend wasn't going to be all fun and games. As much as she enjoyed goofing around with the adorable four-year-old, she also knew that when she agreed to babysitting for the weekend it meant becoming the parental figure, even if only for a few days.
Luckily for Jane though Amelia made it easy. Though she acted much more like a four year old then when they first met, Amelia was still incredibly mature for her age and listened better than any child Jane had ever met. Jane had managed to get out of work early that Friday night, meeting Amelia at home where the pair made pizzas with Angela before hunkering down on the couch to watch Beauty and the Beast after their phone call with Maura. Amelia had immediately fallen in love with the movie, enjoying the fact that Belle enjoyed reading just as much as she did; chatting with Jane throughout the movie about everything she loved.
"We should watch this again with Mommy," Amelia said through a yawn when the movie was over, leaning her head against Jane's shoulder. "She'll like it."
"We can do that," Jane chuckled, running a hand over blonde hair before placing a kiss atop the little girl's head. "I think it's time for bed little girl. Come on it's late."
Seeing that Amelia's eyes were already closing and she didn't look like she was going to be moving anytime soon, Jane simply scooped the four-year-old up, glad she had opted for changing into pajamas before the movie started as she headed up the stairs. Though she was half asleep, Jane took the time to tuck Amelia into bed, placing a kiss on her forehead as she pulled the covers up to her chin.
"Sweet Dreams Mia," Jane whispered, quietly heading back towards the hall.
"Night Janie, I love you," Amelia replied sleepily, rolling over to face the wall as her breathing evened out.
"Love you too," Jane replied, making sure the nightlight was on before turning off the main light and closing the door halfway.
Knowing that Amelia was likely to be up early the next morning, Jane decided to get to bed early; returning downstairs only to turn off lights and make sure the house was locked up before heading for the guestroom. The brunette took her time getting ready for bed in the adjoining bathroom before finally turning out the lights and climbing into bed; seriously appreciating Maura's obviously expensive mattresses as she was instantly comfortable beneath the covers.
It wasn't until her eyes began to drift shut that Jane heard a small sound, opening her eyes to find an outline of a very short person standing in the doorway.
"Janie?" Amelia called quietly, seemingly glued to the doorframe.
"Mia?" Jane sat up, turning on the bedside lamp so she could see the little girl properly. "What's wrong sweetie?"
"When's Mommy coming home?" Amelia asked, sounding small and just a little frightened.
"Hey come here," Jane called, holding open the covers, Amelia immediately running over and climbing up onto the bed. "We talked about this remember? Your Ma's not going to be back until Sunday," she explained, surprised by the four-year-old's sudden desire for her Mother considering she was fine less than an hour ago. "What's wrong?"
"I can't sleep," Amelia replied sadly, tears shining in her eyes. "I miss Mommy. She always helps me sleep," she said with a shaky voice that pulled at Jane's heartstrings.
"Hey it's okay," Jane told her, placing an arm around Amelia's shoulders. "I know you miss your Mom but she'll be home in a couple days. And you don't have to be scared, because I'm here," she assured her. "Everything's okay. You wanna sleep in here with me?"
"Can we sleep in Mommy's room?" Amelia asked, looking up with big, hazel eyes that Jane simply couldn't say no too.
"Oh uh…yeah…yeah we can do that," Jane nodded, figuring Maura would understand. "Come on," she said, lifting Amelia up out of bed and carrying her down the hall to Maura's room.
Placing Amelia in bed, Jane turned on the lamp before turning off the main light and crawling in beside the little blonde who had curled up clutching what she guessed was Maura's pillow.
"I like it in here," Amelia practically whispered. "It smells like Mommy."
Smiling, Jane ran her hand over Amelia's hair before wrapping her arm around the little girl, offering as much comfort as she could. "You know I bet your Mom is missing you too," Jane said as she placed a kiss on Amelia's forehead. "But she's going to be so proud of you for being so brave without her here this weekend. And I'm sure she'll be very happy to hear you missed her so much."
"I love Mommy," Amelia sighed sleepily, her eyes once again drifting shut as she allowed Jane's hand rubbing up and down her back to lull her to sleep. "Janie?"
"Hmm?" Jane hummed softly in response.
"I like having you here," Amelia said before her head fell forward, resting against Jane's chest as her breathing once again evened out and she fell asleep.
With Amelia once again asleep, Jane allowed herself to get comfortable, keeping the little blonde in her arms as she settled against her pillow and closed her eyes. Feeling the weight of Amelia's head on her chest, the brunette felt a deep love for the four-year-old, who reminded her so much of her Mother.
Sometimes it amazed Jane just how much Amelia was like Maura and it was moments like this one that made Jane wonder how she ever got along without the Isles in her life. Pulling Amelia tighter against her, Jane realized that she couldn't imagine life without Amelia and Maura; couldn't picture Friday nights anywhere else or wanting to spend any of her free time away from them for that matter.
And it was in that moment; with Amelia sleeping soundly beside her, that Jane realized that maybe, just maybe Constance Isles was right.
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"Mia…come out, come out where ever you are," Jane called, tiptoeing through Maura's backyard a snowball hidden in her hand behind her back as she searched for the little four-year-old who was currently hiding. "Come on squirt, don't be scared."
Jane had to work Saturday afternoon, leaving Amelia with Angela with the promise that she would get home as soon as she could; making it back shortly after dinner in order to spend the evening playing with Amelia and her dolls. Seeing that the little blonde once again looked nervous before bed, Jane had decided to simply suggest sleeping in Maura's room again so that Amelia wouldn't be afraid even though the younger Isles kicked in her sleep.
Sunday Jane was lucky enough to get the day off, waking up to see a fresh layer of snow on the ground, prompting her to suggest an afternoon playing in the yard. The pair had started out building a snowman, which had eventually turned into a snowball fight that left Amelia running away to hide.
Hearing a twig snap behind her Jane turned on her heel, searching the back garden for a glimpse of Amelia's pink jacket but finding none.
"Mia…." Jane tried again hearing nothing, starting to feel worried when all of a sudden she was hit in the back of the head with a snowball.
"Got ya!" Amelia shouted, falling into a fit of giggles as Jane immediately swooped her off the ground. "I got you…I got you…" Amelia continued to laugh.
"Yeah, yeah you got me you little sneak," Jane laughed, placing Amelia back down on the ground. "Now you better run because I'm going to get you," she said, giving the four-year-old a head start before chasing her around, Amelia laughing hysterically while Jane continued shouting her threats, occasionally flicking snowballs towards the little runner.
The pair kept on running around until the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted, both freezing in the tracks, turning towards the back patio to find Maura watching them with a hand on her hip.
"What exactly is going on here?" Maura asked, raising an eyebrow but unable to hold back an amused smirk.
"Mommy!" Amelia practically screamed, running towards her mother and jumping into her arms; immediately wrapping her little legs around Maura's middle, holding onto her for dear life. "Mommy I missed you!"
"Oh I missed you too sweet girl," Maura sighed, placing a kiss on her daughter's cheeks and hugging her tight. "I missed you so so much! Did you have fun with Jane?"
"I had the best time!" Amelia replied, placing her little hand on Maura's cheek, making her smile. "But next time Janie stays over you should stay home Mommy."
"I'll keep that in mind," Maura chuckled, placing a kiss on the little blonde's forehead. "Now what do you say you two come in and warm up? I'll make some hot chocolate."
"Okay!" Amelia was quick to agree, allowing Maura to place her back on the ground before running into the house as Maura turned around to wait for Jane.
"Thank you again for staying," Maura smiled.
"It was my pleasure," Jane assured her. "The weekend went well? You're looking a little happier."
"It went well," Maura nodded, as she and Jane followed Amelia in the house. "My talk was very well received and I think it really helped me get my mind back into my work. Thank you for encouraging me to go. You were right," she said as Jane began pulling off her snow gear. "Amelia honey please come pick up your coat," she called to the little blonde who was already in the family room with her dolls. "Was she really okay this weekend? There weren't any problems?"
"She was an angel as always, just like I told you on the phone," Jane replied, following Maura into the kitchen where they both began pulling things out to make hot chocolate. "Although she does kick in her sleep. I'm pretty sure I've got bruises."
"I thought you said she was sleeping okay," Maura turned to the brunette, a look of concern on her face.
"Well she did," Jane bit her lip. "Once we both moved into your room," she added, giving Maura her most innocent smile. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just didn't want to worry you. And I hope it's okay we slept in your room. I didn't mean to like invade your space or anything but Mia just felt better in there. She said it smelt like you," she explained with a small smile, which Maura reciprocated.
"It's fine," Maura assured her. "Actually I really appreciate that you did that for her," she smiled. "She usually sleeps so well but every once in a while she seems to just need some reassurance. I'm glad she had you here for that."
Smiling Jane looked into hazel eyes, feeling a sudden fluttering in her stomach that was completely new to her, wondering if perhaps Maura felt it too as she noticed something of a glint in the blonde's eyes. "You know I'm glad you had a good time, and I had a great time with Mia but…I'm really glad you're back."