Matt knew Allyson was upset about something. He wanted to ask her what was wrong, but worried she'd keep quiet with Ronnie in the car.
They'd spent the last three months recovering from Allyson's attack and trying to figure out what they meant to each other. Allyson didn't share the details of her rape with Matt, as the therapist had suggested. She kept all conversations with Matt off limits because she didn't want to admit that she was in love with him and nothing was going to change her feelings.
Seeing what she'd seen in the kiosk, sent her in a flurry of emotions.
Allyson didn't know what to think. She had seen Matt and it struck a nerve. A nerve she didn't think existed. However, she wasn't supposed to be mad at him because it wasn't like they were dating. They were roommates, best friends. They were thrown together by necessity. The more Allyson thought about it, the more she realized she was grateful to him, but that was all it was going to be. Now, she just had to convince her heart of that.
They went up to the flat, Matt and Ronnie talking about sports and their latest case.
"I'm going to lie down," Allyson said, heading into her bedroom.
Matt and Ronnie shared a look. "Talked to her mum before we got there," Ronnie said.
Matt nodded. However, he was almost certain that Allyson's melancholy was more than worry about her mother. He made a note to ask her when Ronnie had left the flat.
Matt put Allyson's soup in the fridge, planning to heat it when she came out of her room.
Matt and Ronnie made small talk, but the mood of Allyson was hanging over Matt. Ronnie left the flat without much small talk and Matt sat on the couch, wondering what to do with Allyson.
Allyson called her mother. "Mom," she said.
"Ally, dear, what is wrong," her mother asked.
"Nothing. I just wanted to check in with you and thought I'd come to New York," she said.
"A visit would be lovely," her mother said.
"No, not a visit. I'm ready to come back to New York. I'll help you, just like I did with dad," Allyson said.
"Are you sure you want to give up your life in London," Betty asked.
Allyson laughed lightly, "Mom, nothing is more important than you," she said.
"Why don't you stay for a few weeks, then. It'll be nice to see you and, when I'm off the chemo, I'll come back to London. It'll be nice to see the city," her mother said.
"I'll call you. I've been meaning to travel to New York to inventory Gram's townhouse. Are you sure you don't want to come and stay there," Allyson asked.
"My apartment is just fine. You know how much I love this place. Besides, that's your place. I'll see you then, dear," her mother said.
Allyson hung up the phone and sat on the bed. She sighed. She loved London and it felt like home, but Allyson was missing the city of New York.
'Admit it, Allyson. You don't miss the city as much as you want to put some distance between yourself and Matt,' she thought to herself.
Just after she ended the call with her mom, Matt knocked on her door.
"Ally, I've been called out. I'll be back as soon as I can," he said.
Allyson nodded. "Be careful," she said.
Matt promised her would and left the flat. He hated that he hadn't been able to talk to her, but duty called.
When she heard the door shut, she went out of her bedroom and put her laptop on the dining room table. She turned the telly to the news and heated her soup in the microwave.
When it was finished, Ally, having changed into her comfortable pants and one of Matt's shirts, started checking out jobs in New York. She hoped she could land one and that would give her a reason to stay. She didn't have to work, but she couldn't see herself doing nothing all day. And, since her mother was convinced she was going to be fine, Allyson needed something to do with her time.
She found a flight that would take her to New York in three weeks. That would give her time to finish things up for Alesha and Jacob before heading to New York.
She found that her father's friend, Jack McCoy was searching for additional ADA's in his office. Allyson got together her resume and CV for the application and immediately sent it to Jack's office. She mentioned when she'd be arriving in New York and the two contact numbers. She made notes to contact the utility people in New York and have the utilities turned on at her grandmother's townhome.
She didn't know how she'd tell Matt she was leaving. Despite her belief that he was involved with someone, it still hurt.
She put the computer away and made herself some tea. She was surprised when Matt returned home, just before she was going to bed.
"Thought you'd be gone longer," she said, rinsing her cup in the sink.
"Wasn't much to do. It was a domestic. As sad as it is, it was pretty cut and dry. She knifed him when he came after her. Ronnie was taking her home after she gave her statement. Did you do anything while I was gone," Matt asked.
"Um, yeah, actually. I booked a flight to New York for three weeks from now," she said.
Concern crossed Matt's face. "Did something happen to your mom," he asked.
"No, I just decided it was time to go back to New York. I mean, I was born there," she said.
"You'll go for a visit, right," Matt said, dreading what she was going to say.
Allyson shook her head. "I applied for a job with the New York DA's office. I took those night school classes when dad was sick and it's about time I put them to use," she said.
"You're moving back to New York," he asked, unable to fathom the situation she just presented him.
"Yeah, I need to do it. Mom needs my support and it's only right that I'm there to do it," she said.
Matt couldn't say anything. He didn't know how to react.
"Don't worry. I want you to stay here in the flat. It's your home, too," she said, heading toward the bedroom.
"Allyson, I wasn't worried about that," Matt said.
"I know. I want you to know that I want you to stay here. I want you to use this as your home. Course you'll have to pay the utilities," she said, giving him a sad smile.
Without giving him a chance to respond, she went into her bedroom. She changed clothes and climbed into bed. She didn't move as Matt came in a few minutes later. Despite how she felt about him at the moment, she welcomed him in the bed. 'Keeping the nightmares away,' she thought to herself, but only halfway believing it.
The next morning, Allyson and Matt got ready for work. Matt hadn't said a word to Allyson. He was too shocked by her announcement. He wanted to talk her out of it, but that would require him revealing how he felt about her and THAT wasn't something he was prepared to do.
Three weeks later, Matt stared at the suitcases by the front door. He couldn't believe Allyson was leaving for New York later that night. He couldn't breathe, thinking about her leaving.
He was taking her to the airport later and he had yet to talk to her about how he felt. He saw her standing on the balcony, watching the boats in the water.
He approached.
"I'm going to miss this," she said, without looking back at him.
"Are you sure you want to relocate everything to New York? You have such a great foundation here," he said, leaning on the railing next to her.
"I have to, Matt. Mom needs my help and I have to get out of here. Since my attack, nothing seems safe," she said.
"Well, I want you to make sure you have fun while you're there," he said.
"You, too. Don't want you to get too lonely without someone here to talk to. Course, being alone isn't something I think Matt Devlin will have a problem with," she said.
Matt gave her a sad smile. Allyson moved closer and Matt wrapped her in his arms. If ever there was a perfect moment to tell her how he felt, this was it. Unfortunately, he didn't seize it.
Instead, he hugged her and hoped he'd be able to keep it together when she finally boarded the plane.
When Matt dropped her off, he walked her inside. Putting her luggage on a cart, Matt turned to her.
"I'll be waiting for you when you come back. I'm going to miss you, Lyssa," he said, pulling her in for a hug.
Allyson took a deep breath. "I'll miss you, too," she said, sniffling the tears away. The last thing she wanted to do was tell Matt why she was crying.
She wheeled her cart to the check-in and Matt watched from a distance. She smiled back at him, gave him a small wave and walked away from the counter. He watched her make her way to security, hoping she'd turn around again.
Allyson smiled one last time at Matt before entering security. It took all her will power not to turn around and rush back to him and tell him what she'd seen and how she felt. However, she didn't think that would solve anything, so she continued to put one foot in front of the other.
Matt lost sight of her and turned to head out of the airport. He texted Alesha who immediately answered back to meet her at the coffee shop near the CPS offices. Getting behind the wheel, Matt drove to the coffee shop, an empty shell now that Allyson was gone.
And that's the position they found themselves in at the present. Allyson revealing her knowledge of the attacks, revealing her own and praying she'd one day be able to get it out of her head.