Cocococococococococococococo

Today had been a rollercoaster ride of a day for Stef. So she bathed Brandon quickly and put him down to sleep. He was nice and worn out so he went down quickly without a fuss. Her Mom had also gone to bed so that left Stef with nothing but herself to keep her company.

First, Lena is snuggled up with some guy. Then, she says she's a lesbian. Then, some woman is calling her home phone and calling her love.

When Lena was snuggling with Timothy Stef had to keep herelf really still. She had felt an incredible urge to grab Lena away and slap him. She told herself that it was just minor jealousy because Lena was her only friend. And being jealous of friends was a normal thing. Mike had been her best friend before they had started dating. But after they started sleeping together, things just were never the same. She couldn't remember one time she had ever been jealous of his attention wandering. She pushed that one away quickly. Mike wasn't the cheating type and that's why she didn't care enough to be jealous. Yep, sounded good to her.

But then Lena had said she was a lesbian. Just like that. Without being embarrassed or anything! Stef had always tried to stay away from gay people and kept herself away from having female friends because she didn't want to be accused of being too close to any of them. Her father had always spelled it out for her what consisted of sinning. Almost anything that made you feel good was bound to be a sin.

She had had a female best friend before. Her name was Tess Brown. She had gotten really comfortable with her. They were hanging out one afternoon snuggling under the same blanket while watching a movie when her father came in and went on a rampage. He physically threw her friend out and screamed at her about being a sinner and fornicator and that God didn't like homosexuals and about how being gay would send her straight to hell. Then he had started praying for her soul and anointing her and the house with oils while banishing Satan away. After that he sent her to a pray away the gay camp. Stef barely made it through that time.

She tried speaking to Tess but she just avoided her. Stef couldn't blame her but, she was all that she had had and now she was gone. When the pain became too unbearable, Stef went numb. Nothing mattered anymore. And Stef preferred it that way. Even marrying Mike and having Brandon couldn't really penetrate through the wall she had put up between her and her feelings.

But, Lena was a lesbian. When she looked at Lena she only saw what a beautiful woman she was. She was warm and kind and funny and thoughtful. She had the most interesting conversations with her that made Stef think about more than herself or that moment. And then she could just as quickly make Stef feel like there was nothing else but that moment and the two of them in the midst of it.

When Lena looked her in the eyes and asked her if it was a problem, Stef instantly screamed NO! inside her own head. And as she laid there pondering it more. No. It wasn't a problem. It felt more like an answer to a lot of things that Stef had never bothered to question before. She still wasn't too sure how she felt about gay people in general. She knew she wasn't a homophobe like father was. The rest … ?

She knew she liked Lena. She liked her a lot. Her entire body had hummed with electricity just from sitting near her watching a movie with a lot of people around. She had to wrap her hands around her knee to keep from reaching out and touching her. And every time Lena moved slightly, her scent invade Stef's mind and almost overpowered her will to keep herself still. It had been torture.

Stef had been enjoying herself the entire day. It was by far the best day she had had in a long time. Then, the phone rang. Why did she have to answer it? Hello love. Love? Lena was someone's love? Of course she was someone's love. She was the greatest person she had ever met. But, to have it confirmed that way had been a shock.

Now, Stef still wasn't sure how she felt about any of the situation. But, for the first time, in a long time, she was glad that she was feeling.