Author's Note: Again, if Lola is still reading this, this one is per your request :)

Day One-Hundred Seventy: Small Hands by Keaton Henson

Everything in the loft was packed; there was no real trace of Toby Cavanaugh left in it and I was glad for that.

There was no trace of Spencer Hastings, either.

I missed her all the time and I hadn't even left Rosewood. I didn't know how I was supposed to deal with never seeing her again. I could already tell it would be hell.

I took one last walk around the loft and tried to remember all the time we'd spent there together and all the good times and the good memories we had.

I looked over at the heater which sat by the window. It was never used, since I moved in over the summer and it was not yet winter. But I recall Spencer sitting right there, near the radiator, praying it would come on.

It was probably the very beginning of June or the end of May. It was an oddly cold night. Spencer made the mistake of wearing an outfit that didn't cover much. Although I didn't particularly mind the outfit, she stood by the radiator, hoping it would come on. Since I was still new to the apartment, I didn't really have any of the clothes I wore in winter, so she had to settle for wrapping some blankets around her thin figure. Still, she somehow managed to be freezing. Her shivering was weirdly loud; you could hear her teeth chattering in the bedroom from the loft's kitchen/dining room.

I smiled wistfully at that window sill where she sat. I looked out of the window. It wasn't much of a view; it was just a dark alleyway. Still, it was secluded and private, so sometimes we'd sit out there and talk. As we got further into our relationship, she began to reveal more and more personal things as I did the same. Sometimes, we'd both smoke out there together. It wasn't really a habit we were particularly fond of (me, especially, since I hated the smell and the taste), but we liked the feeling and we liked the instant calm one felt after smoking.

I walked away from the window, sighing as I sat down on the bed.

The bed. It held so many memories. A lot of times, when her parents were away—especially in the summer—she would sleep over. They didn't know, but for the first few months in the loft, we never did anything sexual. We kissed and there were a few heated moments, but we never had sex. At least, not in the summer. There were days she slept over in the summer where we couldn't sleep because it was so hot; we would just roll around, trying to get comfortable, before finally deciding to lay on the floor, in the dark, just because the floor was wood and therefore cooler than laying on sheets.

I missed how she'd wake up in the middle of the night and just sit up. It wasn't because she was particularly scared. She told me that it was due to the fact that humans were designed to sleep for four hours each night and she always did that. I remember nagging her so she'd finally sleep or at least try to. I missed how she'd old my hand—her hand much smaller than mine—whenever she got scared or whenever she needed human comfort after thinking about Mona and A.

And then, later on, after the sex ice was broken, we spent a lot of nights awake. This time, it wasn't because of the heat from outside, but rather the heat between the two of us.

I remembered how we'd wake up from a night of cuddling to get tangled in the sheets in the morning. I missed the way she'd bite down slightly on my shoulder as we were having sex. I still don't know if it was from pain or pleasure (though I'm hoping the latter). I even missed how she'd nag me about falling asleep on her arm and making it go numb following a few rounds of sex. I missed watching her sleep afterwards. She looked so peaceful. She was so beautiful.

She really deserved better. Maybe she was always right about me and I really was just awful. After all, I was A, and that's why I was leaving in the first place. I was cold and self-centered. She deserved better. I wasn't the strong person she needed. I'd recover from this. She surely would, too. I'd hope she wouldn't spend too much time dwelling on me.

Emily told me that Spencer was coming over later to set up for our anniversary dinner. I was such an ass, doing this on our anniversary. But it needed to be done. I couldn't lie to her for one second longer. I made my bed and now I had to lie down in it. I just wrote the note and left it where I knew she'd find it. I had to use the truck to get rid of all my things. I'd be sure to return it to her as soon as I moved my things. It was just a reminder of her. I'd always think of her, but I prayed that she wouldn't think of me.

Forget about me, Spencer.

Please, forget about me, Spencer.

Just forget about me, Spencer.

Sarah: Except for "Philosopher My Arse" and "Break My Fall." I totally did Marina and Lana an injustice. But thank you.

sarahschneider2012: I was debating on whether I should have a sad or a happy ending, but that song was kind of sad, so I went with the sad one. Glad you loved it!

MilaMizz:I got really, really sad whenever I missed it. I HATE the new adaptation of it. I kept looking for it when I was like ten and then I couldn't find it anymore. It made me so sad. Oh, I guess I'd want to work at a bookstore, too, but idk if I'd be able to or if they're even hiring. The same here (but I think the food-handling age is 16). I'm glad you liked them!

Alaina E:Oh, really? I'm really glad you liked it that much! I would consider it (I actually have considered asking the readers to vote on a one-shot to turn into a multi-chap), but I think if I wrote that story, I'd get wayyyy too depressed. Aside from that, I have about five other writing things still in the works; I don't think I could balance a sixth. But I'm really glad you liked it that much. Maybe someone would be willing to take over...

tobyequalshottness:Oh, it's fine. Just because I don't have a life doesn't mean I'm going to get pissed at the people who do :) I'm really glad you liked it and could connect with it.

Alright, so I told Alliecat I was updating five (5) things tomorrow and she told me I was suicidal, but it's true. Tomorrow's one-shot will be Break Me by Allison Gray and along with that, I will be uploading another chapter of "Stay Stay Stay", a chapter of my Fabrastings story (which none of you probably care about), the first chapter of my new Haleb/Spoby story "How to Be a Heartbreaker", and a one-shot based off of Mona (and a MATD song). Tomorrow will be a big day for me. I would LOVE you guys until the end of time if you took a minute to look at my other works. -Kayson