So a lot of you have been asking for something for a while now, and while I always planned on including it in my stories I was still toying with how I wanted to introduce this little bit of drama. I really hope you all will enjoy it and I just want to say that this chapter definitely won't be the last of this!

With that, happy reading! -J

Chapter 17- The Past

The Monday after Amelia's birthday party life went back to normal in the Rizzoli-Isles household, the new normal that is. Jane returned to work, Angela took over full Amelia duties while the ladies were at work and the family made sure to spend as much time together as they could whenever they managed to get time off work.

For Jane, returning to work was like finding herself again, though it didn't take her long to realize that she had changed during her time away. With each day at work, her physical pain left over from the shooting became less and less, and her understanding of the 'new Jane' became greater and greater. Though she still approached her job with the same fierceness and bravery that she did before the shooting, she constantly had Maura and Amelia in the back of her mind, vowing to always make it home to them; home to where she was in love and where she was happy.

It's a Wednesday morning when Jane wakes to the feeling of feather light kisses on her bare stomach. At first she's unsure what has woken her, her eyes squinting open, still exhausted from the night before, searching the room until her eyes land on Maura who is kneeling between her legs, a mischievous grin on her face. Raising her eyebrow in question, Jane groaned when Maura resumed her kisses, her lips eventually moving downwards until they were between the brunette's legs.

"Maur…I'm…I don't think….oh God…" Jane moaned, her protests about being tired quickly forgotten as Maura's tongue drove her crazy, her hand falling to the back of the honey-blonde's head, her back arching off the bed.

It didn't take long before Jane's orgasm washed over her, her whole body shaking as Maura began to kiss her way back up the brunette's body, Jane's breathing still ragged when her girlfriend's lips covered hers, moaning as she tasted herself.

"Mmm good morning," Maura smiled when she finally pulled away, looking rather proud of herself.

"Good morning indeed," Jane replied, still trying to catch her breath, not even aware of her surroundings. "You….you are something else you know that," she hummed, her voice sounding both exhausted and satisfied. "I didn't think I could…after last night…I have no idea…You are amazing."

"Well I try," Maura chuckled, unable to resist kissing the brunette again, letting her hands wander up and down her girlfriend's side, sure she would never tire of the feeling of the brunette underneath her fingers. "You're not so bad yourself you know," she added between kisses, feeling Jane beginning to react, her senses coming back to her as her hands began rubbing up and down the blonde's back. "You know we have some time before Amelia will be up…"

Rolling so she was now on top, Jane smirked down at Maura, brining their lips back together just as two cell phones began to ring.

"You've got to be kidding me," Jane groaned, rolling off the blonde and onto her back, staring at the ceiling as she reached blindly for her phone, finding it and brining it to her ear just as Maura did the same.

"Rizzoli."

"Dr. Isles."

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"You know you're rather grumpy considering how you started your morning," Maura said as Jane pulled the car up to their crime scene, the brunette putting the car in park and turning it off before they both moved to get out.

"Yeah well I wasn't quite finished with my morning," Jane huffed, moving around the car to Maura's side, holding out an arm in order to assist the Medical Examiner over the uneven ground. "For once I would just really appreciate if the murders could hold off until I've at least had my coffee," she continued to grumble as Maura clutched her arm, the pair making their way along the forest path towards where Korsak stood over the body of their victim. "What do we got?" She called as they approached.

"Jane Doe, looks to be in her early 20s, but I'll let the Doc be the judge of that," Korsak explained as Maura immediately crouched down next to the body, pulling things out of her medical bag. "Jogger found her about 45 minutes ago and called it in."

"People jog out here?" Jane asked, glancing around at the path, completely surrounded by woods. "Doesn't that seem a little odd? I mean it's kind of secluded."

"It's actually a pretty popular path," Korsak told her. "You get a lot of hikers and runners through here, the ones that don't like the city so much. Looks like our jogger was out early though, she beat the crowds; no one else was around when she found her. Frost is talking to her over there."

"Time of death can't be any more than a few hours, although I can't see an immediate cause at the moment," Maura said, standing back up to full height. "I'll know more once I perform the autopsy," she said, just as Frost began walking over with the jogger who found the body.

Not paying attention to the pair, Maura was surprised when a voice she hadn't heard in quite some time called out. "Maura? Maura Isles? Is that you?" The jogger called, Maura feeling the blood in her veins run cold as she froze, sure she must have lost all colour in her face as Jane watched her with a worried expression.

"Maur?" Jane put her hand on the blonde's arm, bringing her back to the present, though Maura felt like her head was spinning, panic starting to set in. "Maura? What is it?"

"Vanessa," Maura practically whispered, before turning around, knowing exactly who she was going to see standing next to Frost. "Vanessa."

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She was tall. That was the first thing Jane registered when she had turned around to find her girlfriend's ex-fiancé striding towards them. She had red hair. That was the second thing Jane noticed; that and the fact that she was practically built like a model.

It wasn't until she felt a sharp squeeze to her arm that Jane finally turned her attention back to Maura, who had looked like she had seen a ghost; her skin pale, her hand shaking lightly against Jane's arm. Seeing the honey-blonde's panic, Jane kicked into action, making a lame excuse about needing to go before getting Maura out of there without so much as saying hello, wanting to save the Medical Examiner the awkwardness of seeing her ex for the first time with an audience.

Maura didn't say a word on the way back to the car, nor did she speak on the drive to BPD. The Doctor seemed to be in a state of shock, staring out the window, her dazed expression indicating that she wasn't really registering what she was seeing. For her part, Jane had no idea what to say, constantly glancing over at her girlfriend as if to ensure herself that she was still there. It wasn't until they had pulled up to BPD that the Detective sighed, unable to take the silence any longer.

"Maur?" She asked carefully, reaching out and placing a hand on the blonde's knee. "Maura? Are you…"

"What is she doing here?" Maura interrupted, turning towards Jane with a panic stricken look on her face. "She's…they moved…They were in Chicago or…what is she doing here?"

"I…I don't know Maur," Jane shook her head, wishing there was something she could do for her girlfriend. "I don't know. Are you okay?"

"I…no," Maura admitted, frustrated by the tears that filled her eyes; by the feeling in the pit of her stomach. "I don't ever want to see her again. I don't want her here…I don't…I can't…."

"I know Maur," Jane interrupted, taking Maura's hand in hers, offering as much support as she could, understanding just how much Vanessa had hurt the blonde. "It's okay. You don't have to see her. It'll be okay Maur. You're gonna be okay."

Looking up into brown eyes, Maura felt a wave of affection for the woman in front of her, unsure why the presence of her ex was bothering her so much, when she had an amazing woman in her life who loved her.

"You wanna take the day?" Jane asked carefully, seeing how much the M.E. was still struggling. "I can take you home? We can call Pike."

"No," Maura was quick to deny. "No I don't want him in here mucking things up," she said, taking a deep breath, trying to get back her resolve. "I'll be okay."

"Of course you will," Jane smiled, leaning forward and placing a kiss on the blonde's head. "And just in case you're not I'll be right upstairs all right? You call me and I'll be right down. Got it?"

"Got it," Maura nodded with a small smile. "Thank you," she then said, giving her girlfriend's hand a squeeze. "I love you."

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Performing the autopsy on their Jane Doe, who they learned to be 23-year-old Emily Davis, had put Maura's mind at ease. With her slow, practiced routine of cutting into the body, Maura was able to put Vanessa out of her mind, focusing instead on her work, and finding a cause of death for Jane and the guys, wanting to help find this young woman's killer.

Finding what looked like an injection mark on the young woman's neck, Maura was waiting for the tox screen results to come back so she would have some answers for Jane. Knowing it would be at least another hour, the Medical Examiner had grabbed a sandwich from the café and brought it down to her office, not wanting to bother Jane, whom she knew was interviewing their victim's family.

With nothing to busy herself with besides eating, Maura did her best not to let her mind wander, finding it difficult, as memories of her time with Vanessa filled her head. Pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration, the blonde's head was down, not noticing anyone approaching her door; the sound of knocking eventually startling her as she looked up to find the last person she wanted to see standing in her doorway.

"What are you doing here?" Maura glowered, hating the fact that she could already feel her hands shaking.

"You took off pretty quickly earlier," Vanessa replied, letting herself into the office. "I haven't seen you in what? Five years? And you just took off without so much as a hello," she said making her way closer to the desk. "Those Detectives wouldn't tell me anything about you so I looked you up when I got home. Chief Medical Examiner," she said, looking around the office, not noticing as Maura typed off a text, her hands below the desk. "That's pretty impressive Maura."

"You shouldn't have come here," Maura replied, her tone stone cold, doing her best not to let the red head get to her. "You shouldn't be here. I don't…I'd like you to go."

"You look good Maura," Vanessa said, ignoring the blonde's words, as she turned to her with a flirtatious smirk, a smirk that used to drive Maura crazy. "And you're obviously doing well for yourself. You know I had no idea you were even back in Boston. We only moved back a couple of months ago. If I knew you were here I would have…"

"Maur what's going…" Jane rushed into the room, stopping dead in her tracks when she noticed Vanessa standing in front of Maura's desk, suddenly understanding the text she had received. "Oh I'm uh…I'm sorry I didn't realize you had someone here," she tried to cover up, not wanting the red head to know Maura had asked her to come down. "You were at the crime scene today weren't you? I don't think I got a chance to introduce myself, Detective Jane Rizzoli," she introduced herself, holding out her hand.

"Yes well you and Maura ran off pretty quickly," Vanessa replied, shaking Jane's hand. "Vanessa Cook."

"Cook?" Maura interrupted, furrowing her brow in confusion. "You're using your maiden name again?"

"Yes well I didn't think it was appropriate to keep Jack's name after he asked for a divorce," Vanessa shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. "It's just me and Deacon now," she said, referring to her young son. "How is Amelia by the way? You did name her Amelia right? I remember how much you loved that name…"

Freezing, Maura felt completely numb, hating even hearing her daughter's name on this woman's lips, not wanting her to know anything about her. "You have no right to ask about her," she said, her voice low and warning, wishing that Jane was closer; silently willing her to move towards her.

"Aw come on Maura," Vanessa replied. "Don't be like that. You know I think about you two all the time. I'd love to meet her."

"That's not going to happen," Jane was the one to reply, moving around the desk to stand next to Maura, who was visibly shaking, looking both angry and afraid.

"Is that so?" Vanessa raised an eyebrow at the brunette. "And who are you to…oh," she said, watching as Jane placed a supportive hand on Maura's shoulder. "Of course. Well that's a shame," she said, looking genuinely disappointed.

"I think it's time you go," Jane suggested protectively, wanting this woman gone, not wanting her near Maura or even thinking about going near Amelia. "You need to go."

"Alright I'll go," Vanessa said, putting her hands up in surrender, though she was still watching Maura carefully. "You know Maura I really would love to catch up sometime," she said, the blonde looking up to meet her eyes, seeing the woman she had fallen for all those years ago. "You should look me up. I'll be around," she said before turning and heading out the door.

"Maur?" Jane knelt down in front of the Doctor once Vanessa was safely out of earshot, placing her hands on the blonde's knees. "Honey? Are you okay?"

"I'm….I…." Maura took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves; trying to slow the rapid beating in her chest. "Yeah…yes. Yes. I'm okay."

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Maura was not okay. Though she knew the blonde couldn't lie, Jane could see the hurt and fear in her girlfriend's hazel eyes, which remained distant all through dinner that night. She didn't need to be a detective to see that Maura wasn't truly listening to Amelia's stories through their meal, and didn't miss the fact that the blonde's smile didn't quite reach her eyes when she looked at her little girl. Even though she knew Maura was struggling, Jane was surprised when the Doctor excused herself before their nighttime routines with Amelia, saying she needed to go take a shower, leaving Jane to read Amelia her story by herself.

"Janie?" Amelia whispered sleepily when they had reached the end of their chapter. "Is Mommy mad at me?"

"What? No!" Jane was quick to reply, putting her arm around the little girl. "No Honey. Why would you think that?"

"She looks sad today," Amelia said, ever observant. "And she didn't come for story time. She always comes for story time when she's here."

"You know what Bug? Mommy had a really long day today," Jane told her, running her hand over blonde hair. "I think she's just really tired, but she's gonna come in and give you your bedtime kisses soon okay?" She said, knowing that no matter what Maura would be sure to see her daughter before she went to bed.

"Okay," Amelia nodded, her eyes looking tired as she got herself comfortable. "I love you Janie."

"I love you too Bug. Sweet dreams," Jane replied, placing a kiss on the little blonde's forehead before tucking her in tight, turning on the nightlight before making her way out of the room.

Making her way towards the master bedroom, Jane expected to find Maura sitting in bed, surprised to find the ensuite door still closed, the shower no longer running. Confused, Jane moved closer to the door, putting her ear against it and hearing the sound of soft sobs coming from the other side.

"Maur?" Jane knocked softly, grateful to find the door unlocked as she let herself in, poking her head inside to find a sight that nearly broke her heart.

Dressed in Jane's flannel robe, Maura was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bathtub, tears running down her cheeks as her body shook with sobs. "Oh Maur…oh honey," Jane sighed, sitting down on the floor next to the blonde and immediately taking her into her arms.

"I-I'm sorry," Maura cried, as Jane pulled her head towards her chest, carefully running her fingers through blonde locks.

"Shhh it's okay," Jane soothed, kissing the top of Maura's head. "It's okay honey. It's okay."

Feeling Maura's tears soaking her shirt, Jane held the blonde tightly, wanting to offer her as much support as she could, hating seeing her girlfriend so hurt. Not really knowing what else to say, Jane decided the best thing she could do was wait the tears out, knowing that Maura would talk when she was able.

"Baby?" Jane finally broke the silence once it seemed like Maura's tears had finally subsided. "Maura…are you okay?"

"I…I don't…" Maura struggled to find the right words, pulling away from the brunette in order to wipe the tears from her face, looking into the brown eyes watching her with concern. "This is not because I still love her. You have to know that Jane. I promise you I don't…I can't even…"

"Maura it's okay," Jane interrupted, shaking her head as she took both the blonde's hands in hers. "I know that okay? I wasn't even worried about that at all," she assured her, knowing her girlfriend had left Vanessa in her past. "I am worried about you though. You wanna tell me what this is about? Well I mean I know it's about Vanessa, but what has you so upset beautiful? I hate seeing you like this."

Seeing nothing but love in her girlfriend's eyes, Maura brought Jane's hand up to her lips, placing a kiss on the back before resting her head against the brunette's shoulder.

"Seeing her here," Maura sighed, shaking her head in frustration. "It just brings back all of these old feelings; all of these things I felt after she left…things I felt my entire life really."

"And what would those feelings be?" Jane asked, releasing one of Maura's hands in order to run her fingers through blonde locks.

"Feeling like I'm just unlovable," Maura admitted, feeling Jane squeeze her hand tighter. "Growing up my parents were never around, never really interested in my life, and as you've seen that hasn't really changed much," she sniffed, needing to explain. "Vanessa and I were so happy. I really thought…I really thought she loved me. I thought I had finally found someone who really loved me but I was wrong. I was so so wrong," she said, a few more tears falling, as she struggled with the memory of what her ex had done to her. "After she left I was pregnant and alone, and I was a complete mess until I realized that I needed to pull myself together for Amelia. I feel like I'm finally in a good place. I'm happy and in love and I'm….I'm scared Jane," she admitted, closing her eyes against the tears.

"Scared of what?" Jane asked, hating the fact that Maura couldn't even look at her, eventually placing a finger under the blonde's chin in order to tilt her head up, meeting hazel eyes shiny with tears. "Scared of what Maura?" She repeated.

"I love you Jane," Maura replied as Jane used her thumb to wipe away her tears. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else. I am so happy with you, and Amelia is happy and loves you too and it scares me because…I…I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you."

"Maura…" Jane sighed; learning her forehead against Maura's for a moment before placing a kiss there, then moving her kisses down to the blonde's cheeks, effectively kissing away her tears. "I love you," she whispered, hating how badly her girlfriend was hurting; wishing she could do something to the woman who caused this pain. "I love you so much Maur and I promise you I'm not going anywhere okay? I would never hurt you like that Maura. I need you to believe that Baby. I'm here," she continued to whisper softly, placing random kisses on the blonde's face. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I love you."

Overcome with emotions, Maura placed her lips over Jane's, tears still falling from her eyes when she pulled away, hiding her face in brown curls as she hugged her girlfriend tight.

"You are not unlovable Maura," Jane said, running her hand up and down the Doctor's back. "Amelia loves you, my family loves you, I love you; and I will spend every day proving that to you if I have to. You are not unlovable."

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After her conversation with Maura, Jane vowed to make sure that Maura would never feel unlovable again. The brunette poured everything she had into assuring Maura that she loved her and she wasn't going anywhere unless it was what the blonde wanted.

While she repeatedly insisted that she was doing fine, Maura was obviously still shaken from Vanessa's sudden appearance in Boston, busying herself with work as she hoped that her ex wouldn't make another surprise visit to BPD. Jane on the other hand was hoping to see the red head again, wanting to give the woman who had hurt Maura so badly a piece of her mind, an opportunity she decided to take when they finally solved the murder of Emily Davis.

Making her way up the walk to the modest suburban house, Jane felt slightly guilty, knowing Maura probably wouldn't approve of what she was about to do as she knocked on the red front door, hearing the sound of a small child yelling before running footsteps could be heard.

"Deacon Mommy will get it," Vanessa's voice called out, her footsteps moving closer to the door before opening it up, a look of surprise on her face when she recognized the Detective on the other side. "Detective Rizzoli," she said, trying to hide her surprise. "Deacon sweetie why don't you go play in the living room," she said, ushering the little red headed boy into the other room before turning her attention back to Jane. "What are you doing here?"

"Cute kid," Jane said, ignoring the question, looking up to meet blue eyes. "I just thought I'd stop by to let you know we found Emily Davis' killer. I thought you might want to know," she explained. "I hope you don't mind my partner gave me your address."

"Oh well that's good," Vanessa replied slowly, watching the brunette rather skeptically. "Though somehow I doubt that's the only reason you're here."

"You're very astute," Jane responded with a fake smile, which quickly turned serious. "You need to stay away from Maura," she then said, her tone warning. "You had your chance with her a long time ago and for whatever foolish reason you gave her up. That was your mistake. Maura's amazing and happy and you don't just get to come in here and try and mess that up just because your marriage failed," she said, her eyes locked on Vanessa's wanting to ensure that the other woman was hearing every word. "You stay away from her, and you stay away from Amelia. Got it?"

"Got it," Vanessa replied, looking rather shocked, waiting until Jane had turned and begun to walk away before speaking again. "You'll never be enough for her you know," she called out, Jane stopping mid stride before slowly turning back around. "You're right Maura is amazing, and maybe I did blow my chance but if you actually think she's going to settle for someone like you," she paused, shaking her head. "Well you must be fooling yourself."

"You don't know a thing about it," Jane replied, refusing to let the woman's words get to her, knowing how much Maura loved her. "And you know what? Maybe one day Maura will get tired of me, maybe one day she'll realize that I'm not what she wants but until then I'm not going anywhere because unlike you I would never give up a woman like Maura. I know how lucky I am to have her in my life and I'm sure as hell not going to give that up. I'm no fool," she said before turning back around, heading straight for her car, looking up only when she reached the vehicle to simply smile and wave. "Have a good night!"