Chapter 23: Water Closet Malfunction
Hey, readers! It's the author here, you know, The Draigg. I was originally going to make this author's note a rap, but I figured it would make all of your eyes bleed if you read it. So, just take this plain one instead. So, getting into the legal stuff, I don't own RWBY, Monty Oum does. Now, let's get this shindig going!
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Tuesday.
The designated day had arrived. This was the day that Team RWBY's newly written PSA would he shown to a school.
That morning, they were all going over scripts and props while having breakfast. Mr. Brass insisted on cooking this time around, as Yang's culinary/combat skills would have taken too long to make anything.
"So, is there anything else we need?" Ruby asked the others.
"Do you have the dust crystal?" Weiss asked back as she was scanning over her lines.
"Yep, it's in my pocket," Ruby replied.
"Then we're all good. But maybe you should put it with the cup or now," said Weiss, who lazily waved her hand in the direction of the cup they planned on using.
"You got it," Ruby replied as she carefully put the crystal in the cup. It would be incredibly ironic if the people preaching about dust safety got blown up by dropping a small dust crystal.
"Do you have your costumes ready?" Mr. Brass asked form the stove he was cooking at.
"Yes," everyone replied at the same time.
"Good. I would change into them at the school. It would be weird to just have two random people hanging around dressed as cops," Mr. Brass suggested.
Yang and Blake nodded in agreement. Neither of them wanted to get arrested for impersonating a police officer. For Blake, it was because a background search would bring up her White Fang past, and land her even more charges, and Yang didn't want to have another arrest on her record. She was already well known in the Vale City Police Station for having the highest amount of speeding tickets on record.
At that point, Mr. Brass slid the eggs he had cooked on a plate and dropped it on the table, in front of the girls. They eagerly dug in, since they needed all the energy the eggs would give them for the performance.
"Shho, how dhu youh fink we'll dhu uhp phere?" Ruby asked with her mouth full.
"Swallow," advised Weiss. How many times she had told Ruby to do that, she had lost count.
Ruby swallowed her eggs and asked again, "How do you think we'll do up there?". She asked that question to everyone, hoping to get some kind of answer.
"I think we're gonna kick ass up there," Yang immediately replied, her cocky grin exposing her confidence.
"Probably," Mr. Brass agreed as he picked up his newspaper to read.
"Well, I wouldn't put it that way exactly, but I do have confidence in our show," Weiss added.
"Took the words right out of my mouth," agreed Blake.
Little did they know that what they said was just the catalyst for the universe's plan to screw them over.
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The school that Team RWBY was performing at today was Gatha Public Middle School. It was located in one of the nicer parts of Vale City, specifically a middle-class suburb. Surely, there was a more receptive audience there than at Swaile Memorial. After all, this audience probably didn't have any pointy objects to throw at the stage.
The van pulled into the parking lot, and Team RWBY hopped out. As they made their way to the trunk to grab their costumes and props, Mr. Brass got out and immediately began to walk towards the school.
"I'm going to the main office," he called over his shoulder, "Be ready in an hour, okay?". Ruby responded for the rest of her team by flashing him a thumbs up. Mr. Brass nodded in response as he walked into the distance.
Weiss grabbed the bag full of their supplies and closed the van's trunk. "Well, I guess we should change into our costumes," she said in a business-like tone.
"Yeah, we should go," Yang agreed.
With that, Team RWBY walked in the direction of the main school building to find a place to change.
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Walking down the deserted hallways of the school, Team RWBY looked around for a suitable place to put on their costumes. There were several possible places, but none seemed any good. Coming across their latest option, Yang asked, "What about this empty classroom?".
Blake shook her head in protest. "No, I don't want to get caught changing by someone else. They might just walk in on us," she explained. Ruby and Weiss nodded at her sentiment in agreement. Plus, Blake figured that if anyone was to watch somebody else change, she should be the person to do it. But, she kept that thought to herself.
Walking further down the hallways of the school, Team RWBY came across a singular women's restroom. "This can probably work," Weiss suggested.
"We would need to go in one at a time," Blake pointed out.
Weiss shrugged. "It's fine with me," she noted. With that, she stepped into the bathroom nd locked the door behind her.
It was a simple bathroom, with a singular toilet, sink, toilet paper holder, and mirror. Placing the bag with the costumes on the sink, Weiss stripped out of her combat dress and put on the slacks and button down shirt she had gotten the other day. It took her less than five minutes to get changed.
"Huh. That was quick, even for me," Weiss though. Now fully in costume, Weiss spun around to open the door.
Unfortunately for Weiss, the door wouldn't open. "That's odd," she muttered to herself. Then she realized that she had forgotten to unlock the door. Releasing the lock, Weiss tried to open the door again. It still wouldn't budge. That wasn't a good sign.
Now Weiss was growing really concerned. She didn't want to be locked in some school bathroom! She knocked against the door and called out to her teammates. "Uhh, I think I need some help getting this door open,".
On the other end of the door, all Team RBY heard was Weiss' pounding against the door.
"What's with all the noise? I figure that bathroom's big enough to get ready in," Yang wondered aloud.
"Yet again, this wouldn't be the first time she's done something drastic for the sake of her looks," pointed out Blake. Her mind immediately flashed to the memory of Weiss with caked make-up on her face, to hide some dark circles under her eyes and her extreme paleness. That coffee bet sure made her appearance rough during the duration.
Ruby was about to say something on Weiss' behalf, when she felt a slight rumble in her pocket. Her scroll was vibrating. Taking it out and opening it, Ruby read a message sent by Weiss.
"Uh, guys, Weiss sent me a message. It says, "Help, I'm locked in here. And hurry up, because I think this toilet smells like old blood,'. Eww!" she read, wrinkling her nose at the last comment. She most certainly didn't need to know that.
Yang took that comment in stride. "Welp," she said, cracking her knuckles, "I guess we have to break this door down,".
Yang was about to land a megaton punch on the door handle when her wrist was suddenly grabbed by Blake.
"We can't break school property, Yang!" scolded Blake.
Yang rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment. "Heh heh, right. Kind forgot that…" she mumbled.
Ruby began to frantically look around for something. "Is there any vents around here? I bet Weiss can just crawl through one," Ruby said to the others.
"Yeah, but then she would get her costume all dirty," was Blake's rational thought.
Ruby stopped looking and sighed deeply. "Then what can we do?" she wondered out loud.
"Well, we can leave her, but then the performance would suffer…" Yang mused.
"That's out of the option!" cried Ruby. There was no way she was going to let Weiss rot in some school bathroom!
"Well, we can probably get the janitor to get her out," suggested Blake. Yang and Ruby paused when Blake said that. The pair of them felt kind of silly that they hadn't thought of that earlier.
"I'll go!" Ruby said before she set off, a small cloud of rose petals taking her place. Having a speed semblance sure helped when it came to getting help.
Now that Yang and Blake were left behind, the only thing they could do was wait for Ruby to come back with help. Yang decided to lean against the wall. She could tell she was going to be waiting here for a while.
"What should we do now?" she asked Blake. The cat girl shrugged in response.
Yang gave a slight huff. Her significantly short attention span demanded she find some amusement soon. Then, she got an idea. She could tease Weiss all she wanted, since Weiss couldn't retaliate in her current state.
With her scroll pulled out, Yang sent Weiss a text message: "I'm sorry your luck ran so SHORT, Weiss!". She smirked slightly as she pressed the send button.
A minute later, Weiss sent back a message. It read, "Really? Now, of all times?".
Yang stifled a laugh as she typed out her next message. "I'm sorry. I guess it was too TALL of an order for me to not tease you," she typed. Now Yang was looking forward to a response as she hit the send icon.
Her wish was granted as Weiss' response arrived quickly. Her text read, "Seriously, STOP. It's very rude of you,".
Naturally, Yang didn't stop there. Instead, she sent Weiss, "Alright, alright, I'll stop. You and I both have greater standards to reach for. Yet again, I bet you can't reach them, considering your stature,". Yang cut in deep with that message. Now she wasn't even trying to be subtle.
Yang could tell when Weiss got her message, as Weiss let out a loud growl that Yang was even able to hear through the thick wood of the door. Then, there was a brief silence before Yang's scroll vibrated again. Oh, Weiss' response was going to be GOOD.
Yang fully smiled as she read Weiss' angry message. "I hate you! I hate you, and your lewd, disgusting cow breasts! They're not attractive, they're horrible! You're ugly and mean and rude and I hate you!".
"Pffffthhh HAhahahahahahaHAA!" Yang laughed out loud. That got Blake's attention.
"What're you laughing at?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. Yang simply showed Blake her scroll while she continued to laugh.
"Really? You're better than that, Yang," Blake scolded.
"Oh, come one! Try it yourself!" Yang said, her laughter dying down as she held out the scroll for Blake to type on. Blake's eyes darted between her girlfriend and the scroll. Succumbing to temptation, Blake snatched the scroll out of Yang's hand. It was just too much off a good offer to pass up..
Blake briefly wondered what to type. She normally was a fan of snark and sarcasm, but now was a chance to hone her trolling skills she so often neglected. Blake typed out, "I bet you don't even last a minute with Ruby in bed,". She hoped that the statement would cut deep. Blake then sent the message, waiting for a reply.
Blake and Yang heard an almost inhuman cry come from behind the bathroom door. If Blake had to guess, then that message must have touched a few nerves. Then, a loud thump sounded against the door. And then another. The Bumblebee pair realized that Weiss was trying to ram the door open to get at Yang.
On the third hit, the door flew open, and Weiss tumbled onto the ground. As she slowly picked herself up, Yang noted a look of pure murder in Weiss' eyes as her glare bored into the blonde's soul.
Yang began to back away nervously. "Now, don't do anything stupid now, Weissy," Yang pleaded, "It was only some teasing, okay?".
Weiss didn't accept Yang's excuses as she landed a punch into Yang's stomach. Then, when Yang reeled back, Weiss followed up with a knee to the crotch. Yang crumpled down to the ground in pure agony. Weiss sure had a killer knee when she was pissed beyond belief.
"How DARE you?!" Weiss cried as she kicked Yang's legs.
Blake took this as an opportunity to wash her hands clean of this situation. "Yeah, I don't know what you expected to happen," Blake said quickly.
"Traito—" Yang's shout was cut short as Weiss landed a blow to her stomach. The hit was so strong that it caused Yang to vomit out the contents of her stomach.
Ruby suddenly rounded the corner with a janitor in tow. "Okay guys, I got help…" her sentence drifted off as she saw Weiss kicking an incapacitated Yang, who had apparently vomited all over the floor in pain. Blake looked like she was equally stunned as Ruby at what she was witnessing.
As the bizarre scene sunk in, Ruby couldn't help but mutter, "I probably should have brought the nurse too…".
So much for starting their new PSA on the right foot.
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Well, just because their PSA was made with little trouble, I didn't say that trouble wouldn't happen in the process of getting ready for it. Truly, slapstick violence knows no gender. Anyway, tell me what you think about beating up large-chested trolls in the review section below this chapter's contents! This is The Draigg, signing off for now! (Steps on rake, gets hit in the face)