AN/- hey I am so sorry for the late update-I just shit loads of work piled up after the little lazy episode that i was going through-anyway-thanks a lot for reviewing and umm..keep reviewing and enjoy
Chapter 43
"So I was wondering if I could take the kids to St. Mungo's Arthur will be so pleased," said Molly pleadingly as Rachel looked at her uneasily, what she didn't understand was why Molly wanted Audrey to be there?
"I don't know Molly—she's too much trouble," said Rachel trying to make up reasons.
"You can't possibly keep her in that room for Christmas too Rachel," said Molly a little sadly as Remus folded his hands across his chest and agreed with her.
"I could you know," said Rachel, now that she thought of it, it would hopefully be a good punish—oh! Seriously who was she kidding Audrey was ten since the last time any punishments ever had any effect on her.
"Fine, Molly I suppose she can go if she wants to," said Rachel shrugging lightly as Molly clapped her hands together happily and went her way to find Sirius if Harry could tag along.
"You should go tell her," said Remus as Rachel looked uneasily at him but sighed and nodded, she hadn't spoken to her daughter since last night after dinner, which obviously hadn't gone too well seeing she had only been angered further by her daughter's attitude.
Rachel turned the knob to Audrey's room as she entered it and looked inside to find the room empty, the window open as the wind blew inside, Rachel grew increasingly tense as she curled her hands in fist.
"Audrey!" she said angrily to herself.
"What—I cant even go to the bathroom now without you supervising me?" sneered Audrey from behind as she wiped her face with a napkin and pushed past her mother to enter the room, defence books left open on the bed as an empty book and a self inking quill lay on it waiting to be used on that page. Rachel eyed it suspiciously as she walked into the room and sat down on the bed while Audrey laid her napkin to dry and then noticed her mother go through the notes.
"What are you doing?" she barked angrily at her as Rachel looked up at her daughter surprised, there was something wrong, Audrey had never spoken to her this loathfully, her eyes, they were as if cold—so cold and for some reason lighter than they usually were, for once in her life Rachel couldn't read her daughter's emotions but the resentment with which Audrey spoke increased the temper in Rachel's head.
"Might I ask you the same question?" she snarled at Audrey.
"What is all this—these defence books—you aren't even supposed to be reading this!" spat Rachel shutting the book immediately as Audrey flinched, she hadn't marked the pages and it had taken her a whole night of reading to find useful material. She grew angrier.
"It's none of your business really—so why don't you just go do what you do best—nothing!" snarled Audrey pulling the book out of her mother's hand, but Rachel didn't let go.
"Let go!"
"You let go"
"Let go! Ugh!" snarled Rachel as she and Audrey fell off the bed fighting for the book.
"Stop it! Stop it—the both of you—what is wrong with you!" snarled someone walking into the room as his strong hands contained Audrey back while the other man who had walked in with him tried to pull Rachel into him.
Audrey pulled free from her father's bounds as Remus refused to let go of Rachel who seemed to be wild with fury.
"She gone mental—is what is happening—you ruined my bloody life—didn't it please you enough already—why do you want to interfere and stick your bloody nose in everything I do—I hate you—I hate you so much—why can't you just mind your own f**** business!" snarled Audrey angrily as she pushed her way out of the room tears flowing down her cheeks.
"What happened?" Remus asked Rachel as she looked rigid and stood staring at where her daughter had just passed from.
"She's right—I need to stop caring—she's a big girl now—stop caring for her," said Rachel flung herself into Remus's arms who helplessly let her stand there while Snape shrugged and Remus shook his head at him, telling him it was hopeless to talk to either of them right now.
"I suppose—su—pp—supp—suppose—she wants me apologize now?" cried Rachel frustrated as Remus stroked her back softly.
"Come on Rach—you know she's going through a lot—and then you know the Arthur thing gotten her feeling sick," said Remus as Rachel nodded lightly.
"Bu-but—but—Moony—she hates me!" cried Rachel as Remus shook his head
"You don't understand—this is not Audrey talking—didn't your father speak to you?" asked Severus curiously as Rachel looked at him innocently shaking her head as Severus looked at her and sighed rubbing his eyes. Of course Dumbledore hadn't spoken to her, he obviously expected him to talk to her, build your relationship again, Severus knew what he meant by relationship and he wasn't sure he really had strength to take in Rachel's wrath.
"Sit," he ordered her as Remus let go of his friend.
"I'll go get you some tea," he said smiling at her as Rachel nodded gratefully.
"Last year—Potter wasn't the only one the dark lord wanted something out of—Audrey was the second link—she—she was an essential piece in bringing back the dark lord to power—her blood—her blood Rachel—is linked to the Dumbledore heir line and therefore makes it the blood of the man who the dark lord feared the most—this connection between her and Voldemort has gotten stronger—seeing that Albus's magic is no longer affective—he cane enter her mind Rachel—he can show her things she doesn't want to see—confuse her—make her mad with rage and fill her with angst—she isn't that hard to crack anymore Rachel," said Severus explaining to her what exactly he knew as Rachel hung on to his every word.
"This is why—I beg of you Rachel—you have got to stop—cut her some slack Rachel—lay low for a while—you can't go punishing her for things she doesn't understand—she's only fifteen Rachel—and she's gone through way more than we could ever have, she is too young Rachel—too young—let her free for a while—let her think with her own mind," said Severus softly as Rachel leaned closer to his face as he sat down next to her. His customary fragrance of cologne and his lingering minty breadth to hit her strong in the face, the exact same drifts she got while making love potion with Maurice that time because he had asked for her help.
"I understand," she said a little confidently as the tears in her voice had disappeared. Severus looked into her eyes as she looked back into his, Merlin he missed her, the endless hours they spent in each others arm doing nothing, staring at each other, the exchange of those light kisses and then some passionate exchanges. He had loved Rachel with a passion, he still did but he was afraid— he was very afraid of disapproval.
"Teach her then—I'll take care of Harry—teach her Severus," said Rachel begging him, inching a little closer, begging him to crash his lips into hers begging him to be bold for once, jut once, to not be so uptight—to tell her that he still loved her like she—no—no—this was a bad idea—she hated him—she hated him—what was she doing?—she was only being civil to him because her father had asked her to do it for her daughter's sake—not her own—she hated him—loathed him.
"I don't think she'll learn from me Rachel," said Severus sadly as Remus knocked at the open door with a mug of tea and a rather depressed looking Audrey as she looked nervous while she played with her thumbs.
"Mum—I didn't—I just—I don't know what came over me—mum—I didn't mean all that—I swear I didn't—I don't hate you mum—I could never—," said Audrey trying to find the right words as her mother already had her arms around her the second she said 'mum'.
Remus was having a rather tuff day today but he was thankful that Fred and George had finally fallen asleep on the living room couch. Fred and George were of the feeling that if they randomly placed mistletoe around the place and called for help from both Remus and Tonks and when they'd come running to see what had happened, they'd come across nothing but mistletoe under their heads, Tonks blushed the first five times but then felt hurt when Remus did not genuinely notice it then for the other three times they both ignored it although Tonks felt rather depressed, Remus could tell she wasn't very happy the last time when the boys had jinxed the mistletoe to not let them move before they had kissed at least twice although Remus had called off the spell immediately seeing that he knew wand work way better than the two boys and then had proceeded to glare at them as they sniggered like maniacs and burst out laughing once they told Sirius everything who joined them.
Remus picked up the shawl that belonged to Aurora, she had left it downstairs, Remus had half a mind to walk back up and hand it to her, but knocking for Aurora on Sirius's door would be odd, it would be extremely odd, but where could he put it.
"Tonks?" he called the woman with the electric blue hair on her head, Nymphadora walked in and stood there waiting for Remus to talk, but he didn't, he looked at her for a minute, just studied her as she cocked her head to one side.
"The colour suits you," he said smiling as Tonks's eyes glistened with a little spark of happiness.
"Thanks—you called?" she asked he held a red shawl in his hand.
"Yes—this belongs to Aurora—would please keep it till morning?" asked Remus walking up to Tonks slowly who stiffened as her hair changed to a dark red instantly like her face, he was so close to her she could feel the heat radiated out of him, since it was so cold around them she wanted to cuddle up with him across a fire.
"Sure," said Tonks as she smiled awkwardly at Remus who smiled back at her and then stepped back, he placed the red woollen into her hands and then looked at her as she looked back at him her eyes begging for him to kiss her, but he blinked and then his face grew grave, he turned around and went to the fire and pulled out the poker as he pushed the burning logs around.
"Remus—do you not like me?" asked Tonks disappointedly as a little agitation was heard in her voice.
"What? Of course I like you," he said shrugging, she thought he hadn't understood.
"No I meant—do you think I am hideous?" asked Tonks as Remus looked at her a little startled.
"No, I think your—why would I think that?" he asked her nonchalantly.
"Then what is it? What do I have to do to make you like me? I like you a lot Remus," she said standing up straighter, braver perhaps; well brave enough for a Hufflepuff.
"I—I—thanks Tonks—but I don't—" he began as she cut him by walking the distance and closing the distance between them, for a minute Remus did not know how to react but the next second his body told him what to do exactly, his hands went around Tonks's back as he gently stroked it and he gave into the kiss, he kissed her back with a fever that said that only she could satisfy him. He was kissing the woman he believed was not his type, then why? Why did he have such strong feelings for her? A klutzy, Hufflepuff, the first woman to have really pushed his mind to make him think that he was falling in love with her.
Remus couldn't suppress a small moan as her mouth travelled to places. No, they had to stop; they had to stop before it was top late.
"No, Stop," he ordered, pushing her away and pulling away at the same time.
"Dora—I've told you before—I'm telling you again—I—I'm not someone who you want to fall in love with—Dora—I—I'm dangerous—I could hurt you," said Remus as Nymphadora didn't seem like the ones who would just back off.
"Why Remus? Why are you dangerous?" she asked, he turned away without a reply.
"You just think that way—in reality you're a good man and I think-," started Dora but stopped as he turned to look at her, his grey brown eyes into her blue ones, her innocent blue orbs of wonder filling the gaze of his worn out grey browns.
"I'm a werewolf—do you understand now—you stupid woman—I am nothing but a dangerous animal—you cannot love me—I cannot love you—does this make sense—get this settled in your head!" snarled Remus as harshly as he could, Nymphadora stepped away from him. He stood there as she looked at him trying to make sense of what he had just said her eyes sparkled in the way Remus loved but he could do nothing but stand there.
"I could live with that," said Tonks shrugging to herself as she walked back to him, he looked at her dumbfound, how, how could she still be standing in front of him?
She placed her hand on his cheek as he relaxed in her touch.
"I don't care Remus—I don't care if you're a death eater—I love you," she said closing the gap between them as he pulled her into his arms, wrapping them around her as tightly as he could manage.
Rachel had just flooed back to Grimmauld place from Hogwarts, she had spoken to her father about these legillimency classes and had finally returned, she had wanted to meet Audrey before midnight, probably wish her a happy Christmas like tradition, they'd open one gift at twelve and then wait for the next morning where they'd open their gift in the kitchen as the whole house would be sprawled with glittering wrapping paper and laughter. Rachel was scared if her daughter would anymore, she seemed so distant and cold; she didn't like it, not a bit.
Although tonight Rachel had another reason to have flooed into the living room of 12, Grimmauld Place, she was supposed to meet Severus there; she had to ask him the reason for his running down on his relationship with Audrey. She knew that her daughter wasn't talking to her father, the reason—she was going to find out, but before that she wanted to get some tea, seeing that her head was splitting with the lack of sleep, tea would help her stay on her feet for some more time, she just hoped Severus would be on time seeing that she has arrived later than she had promised to come and so she decided to give him some sort of extension, it was Christmas eve after all. Rachel went into the kitchen, she pulled out her wand, she was hearing voices, quarrelling voices.
"Dora—I've told you before—I'm telling you again—I—I'm not someone who you want to fall in love with—Dora—I—I'm dangerous—I could hurt you,"
"Why Remus? Why are you dangerous?"
"You just think that way—in reality you're a good man and I think-,"
"I'm a werewolf—do you understand now—you stupid woman—I am nothing but a dangerous animal—you cannot love me—I cannot love you—does this make sense—get this settled in your head!"
"I could live with that,"
"I don't care Remus—I don't care if you're a death eater—I love you,"
Rachel stood there looking at the snogging couple, it felt a tinge of hope bubble within her, it touched her heart, all that teasing hadn't gone waste on him and he really had fallen in love with Tonks. But he still felt he wasn't good enough for her. Remus had always had that problem, he thought he was never good enough for anyone and because of his stupid attitude people use to think he was a loser, well except of his four friends and Lily, they were always there for him, well apart from Peter he just wanted Remus to help him with his essays.
Rachel smiled to herself as she wrapped her arms around herself as she breathed in deeply. She slowly lowered herself on one of the couches in the living room where Severus had just poked the Weasley twins awake and asked them to return to their rooms, the twins had rubbed their eyes sleepily and yawned as they went out of the room and climbing the stairs up to their room.
"I don't care Remus—I don't care if you're a death eater—I love you,"
Tonks line kept ringing in Rachel's years as Severus walked around the place muttering under his breath as he rubbed his hands for heat and then pointing his wand at the empty grate as it burst to life with a crackling fire. He sat down in the armchair opposite the couch and looked at the woman who was staring at him. He frowned as she did nothing but stare at him, so he had begged the dark lord to let him go early and taken the crucio as his punishment for her to stare at him?
"Rachel?" he called
"I don't care if you're a death eater—I love you,"
"Rachel?" he called again extremely annoyed, was this funny according to her?
"I don't care if you're a death eater—I love you,"
"Rachel!" snarled Severus.
"Huh—what?" said Rachel jumping startled at the sound of his baritone voice; she looked into his eyes, his onyx eyes, the same eyes she once saw her reflection in.
"Rachel—Are you alright?" asked Severus carefully as he stood up and walked over to her and sat down next to her.
"I don't care if you're a death eater—I love you,"
"Yes," she said her voice shaking as Severus nodded trying to figure out what was wrong with her.
"You seem odd—maybe we should talk in the morning," he said getting up as she looked up at him worriedly and pushed out her hand to grab a hold on his as he turned to look at her as she pushed herself up his hand still in his hers.
"No—I need to ask you something," she said urgently as he stopped, his eyes not leaving the arm on his, the soft touch of her fingers still made him feel the way it did, he wanted to hand to go other places, to travel everywhere over him, he gulped exhaling slowly.
"Why is Audrey not speaking with you?" she asked him slowly as her hand stayed on his.
"There was an incident," he replied weakly as the touch of her hand went away.
"An incident?" she asked curious as he shook his head and stood up straighter.
"An incident I do not know how to approach the solution to," he began as he told Rachel everything that had happened, she listened to him carefully taking in everything he said.
"Merlin—Sev—erus-," she said biting her tongue on using his old nick name.
"I know—I screwed up," he said sitting down as he held his head in his hands.
"Did you apologize?" she asked him as he looked up at her.
"Never got a chance—she won't even look at me Rachel," he said.
"There are other ways to apologize," said Rachel as Severus frowned at her as her lips parted as she threw him a genuine smile.
"Apparently," he replied refusing to let his eyes wander away from her full parted lips that smiled just for him.
"Right, then I'll see you later," she said walking away but a pull on her navel made her fall backwards as her heel broke making her go off balance and thankfully into his strong arms.
He stared at her and she stared back at him as her eyes roamed above his head where something floated, his eyes followed the pattern of hers. He looked at the blessed weed over his head, the bloody mistletoe that had been jinxed to capture poor souls like them unattentive to what was going on above their heads as when they would separate ways they would be pulled back into place.
Severus placed Rachel back on her feet as she straightened her black skirt and looked above her head at the growing weed as she pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, waiting for him to close their distance—waiting for him to just once—all she wanted from him one apology—one tiny—I'm sorry—one short I love you—it was he needed to say to get her back—but would he—could he?
"Wretched weed," snarled Severus angrily as he blew the mistletoe to smitherines with his wand as Rachel looked at the ashes of the plant as it fell around them releasing them from the magic. Rachel looked blankly at the ground, his actions had hurt her—hurt her so badly—all she wanted was for him to hold her and say what she wanted him too—instead he had gone and blown away any hopes she had raised within her heart for them coming closer again. It was true then—Severus snape did not have a heart anymore—he was just like the others of his filthy kind—the death eater he was and he would be—that was all he knew—he did not know what love was—just like his stupid master, who was after their daughter's life.
"I don't care if you're a death eater—I love you,"
AN/- hey I put in some Sev and Rachel in here-think they deserve a chance again-got a lot planned out for them and Harry and Audrey so stay tuned for the other half of OOTP that remaining and then HBP that will be started once OOTP is done with...review please-they really help way more than you can imagine =)
~Penny