SAILING INTO UNCHARTED WATERS

Chapter Nine

Her thoughts centered on the papers in front of her, Sylvia Costas absentmindedly picked up the mug of coffee sitting nearby and took a sip. An involuntary grimace appeared on her face and she sat the mug down. Ugh… how did it get so cold so quickly?

She glanced at her watch, surprised to see she'd been sitting at her desk for nearly forty minutes. It had always been that way, that ability to totally immerse herself in her work. Even so, she was irritated.

Where the hell is he? she wondered.

Andy Spiowicz was supposed to have shown up half an hour ago. What a jerk! The man had no consideration for anyone other than himself.

Of all the cops in the 15th precinct, he wasn't one of her favorites. She'd much rather deal with his partner. While Kelly could be sarcastic on occasion, he was also fair. He was hard working and professional, which was more than could be said for Sipowicz. Kelly had a passion for the job; the only thing Sipowicz had a passion for was booze and hookers – at least that was the gossip. If it was true, she wondered how much longer he'd last. The new lieutenant, Arthur Fancy, didn't seem one to suffer fools – or drunks – gladly.

Sighing, she got up from the desk and headed to the coffee pot in the corner of her small office. Just as she was about to pour water to make a fresh pot, she heard two brief taps on the door. Her expression impassive, she watched Sipowicz stick his head inside the doorway.

"Hey," he said, nodding at her.

"You're late," said Sylvia. "I've been waiting thirty minutes for you to show up."

He made a big deal out of looking at his watch. "Oh yeah? You got a hot date or something? You were the one who wanted to meet on a Sunday. Not enough time in the lady lawyer's busy weekly schedule to accommodate us poor slobs from the precinct."

She said nothing, determined not to get into another spitting match with the cop. She continued with making the coffee, watching him out of the corner of her eye. In spite of her dislike for Sipowicz, something was not right with him.

He clumsily weaved past her, his steps faltering, and sat down heavily in the chair across from her desk. Yes, something was definitely off.

The hair around his balding crown was sticking up in different directions, giving him a slightly wild look. His tie was crooked, his shirt slightly wrinkled, and his sports coat had seen better days. More than anything, he looked tired and old. Certainly older than his years. What was going on with him? Was the gossip about him true?

Sylvia was a kindhearted person, although she took pains to cover up that aspect of her nature. When you spent your days prosecuting thugs and working with randy, foul-mouthed cops, you learned to play the game brisk and hard. She kept her vulnerabilities to herself and demanded only one thing of those she worked with: respect. And she generally got it, too. She knew she had a reputation for being a hard ass; well, so be it. It was a misconception she didn't bother to correct. In fact, she welcomed it. There was protection in having men think she was tough. They didn't play games with her.

Except for Sipowicz. From the start, he'd done nothing but push her buttons. Still, something about his skewed tie and his mussed hair touched her. Instead of his usual cocky impertinence, he appeared sad and confused. His earlier attempt to toss the rude remark now seemed pathetic. Instead of being angry, Sylvia felt a twinge of compassion. What had happened to the bantam rooster who had so annoyed her in the past?

In those few seconds, she found herself missing the man he once was. She hadn't realized how much his impudence had amused her – or challenged her. She liked a good fight.

Where had his fighting spirit gone?

"Would you like some coffee?" she asked, her voice kind.

He turned his head to look at her. "Got anything stronger?"

"You kidding me? This is an office, not a tavern."

"Yeah, and I bet you never break a rule, do you? You got a lot of fortitude, lady lawyer. Bet you always got straight A's in deportment. I'm surprised you're not in Sunday school this morning."

She sat the mug of coffee in front of him. "Shut up and take the coffee. You look like you could use it."

"Maybe I could, at that." He pushed two fingers beneath his collar, attempting to loosen it. Why had he felt a need to wear a tie this morning? It wasn't a weekday; he could have worn something more casual. He watched Sylvia as she sat down across from him and he realized suddenly why he hadn't. There was something about her… something pristine. Even on a weekend, she was dressed in a suit, looking as crisp and professional as she would have for a court date.

Damned woman; she always unsettled him somehow. It was for this as much as any other reason that he went out of his way to throw a few jabs her way. When he lobbed one at her, he felt it cut her down to size a little bit, made her less threatening. And she was, in her way, a threatening woman.

As she shuffled the paper on her desk, Andy let his eyes roam idly over her body. She wasn't a bad-looking broad – if you liked the type. She had the tools it took to be a real looker, if she'd use 'em: big brown eyes, all liquid and soft like. Nice legs. Not too bad on top either; maybe not as big as he usually liked 'em to be but serviceable. Who knew what goodies she was hiding under those tailored suits? He sure wouldn't mind taking a look.

"Ahem!"

Like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he looked up quickly from her breasts. "Uh, did you say something?"

Glowering at him, Sylvia tapped her chin with a forefinger. "Yeah, I said my face is up here."

He laughed, genuinely amused. He could see she was pissed. "Sorry."

"No, you're not, but I don't have time for your juvenile fantasies. Let's talk about Giardella."

For a moment he considered telling her what she could do about his juvenile fantasies, but then lost the heart for battle. Better to get this little visit over so he could get back to…

To what? That was just it… he had nothing to get back to…

Depressed and weary, he ran a hand over his balding head. "What do you got on him?" he asked.

"Not much, I'm afraid. He's pretty good at evading prosecution."

"That's where I come in," he said.

"That's where you come in," she agreed, her eyes serious. "He hates you, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Breaks my heart, it does. I was hoping he and I had could be best buddies, open a vein together, be blood brothers. God, I hate that little creep! I'd like to rip that cheap rug off his baldhead and shove it down his goddam throat! Narcissistic little son of a bitch!"

Sylvia tried not to smile but couldn't help herself.

"What's so funny?" he asked, suspicious of her sudden mirth. Was she enjoying a joke at his expense?

"I'm sorry… it's just, well, it's just I've heard him say the same of you."

"Yeah… well…" For a moment, Andy found himself disarmed by the warm amusement in her eyes and by the way the corners of her mouth lifted in a charming smile. She really was pretty when she didn't act like she had a stick up her ass. He struggled to concentrate on what she was saying, bemused by the direction his thoughts had taken.

"You know, Andy, it's amazing how he always manages to stay just one step ahead of you guys." She shook her head, annoyed that they couldn't find something more substantive, some that would cement the case against Giardella. "Look, if you want to put this guy away, you've got to do something, get me something I can use. The stuff you're giving me now? No judge is going to give him any real time… you've got to get me something solid to work with."

Andy could feel his blood starting to boil. Who the hell did she think she was? Did she think they were doing nothing? Christ! No one wanted Giardella more than he did! No one!

"Look, lady lawyer, maybe it's not what we're giving you. Maybe you ain't got what it takes to convince a judge to put the guy behind bars. Ever think of that? Maybe it's YOU, sister!"

"Oh yeah?" Sylvia's own temper ignited. "Last time you brought him in, he claimed police harassment – and he wasn't far from wrong! That little raid you conducted at the strip joint, what the hell was the point of that? Like it's illegal to go to a strip club? I bet if that were the case, you'd be in jail!"

"Hey, you watch your mouth," he began, but was quickly interrupted by a furious Sylvia.

"No, you watch yours! What did you accomplish, huh? Quite a little uproar you caused that night! You hauled the dancers in on some trumped up charge of prostitution, kept them overnight, and you got absolutely nothing on Giardella. Nothing!"

Still angry, Andy couldn't help smiling at the memory. "Yeah, but it was great to catch him with his pants down… and that goddam rug of his hanging sideways off his head. It was worth it."

"It was harassment! And it got you nowhere. And it didn't help me any with this case."

He knew she was right. That raid against the club had been an impulsive move on his part. He'd had a few drinks that night and had gotten wind that Giardella was at the Girls! Girls! Girls! strip club.

Had John been with him that night, he'd have talked Andy out of it. Lately, John had gotten good at talking his partner out of questionable shenanigans. God knows he gave the kid a lot of practice. But John had been home that night with his wife. He couldn't babysit Andy twenty-four / seven; he had a home.

Someone to go home to…

What did he have? A bottle? Maybe some bimbo to make him temporarily forget his life had turned to shit…

Some of what he was thinking must have shown on his face because Sylvia, once again, felt a grudging sympathy for the man sitting across from her. He looked defeated, and she wasn't sure why. It made her sad, though, and brought out something warm and empathetic within her.

"Tell you what, Officer Sipowicz, you get me something solid on Mr. Giardella, and I'll nail his ass to a tree – and that's a promise."

One week later…

What's this? wondered Laura, cleaning out the pockets of John's suit jacket, unfolding the wrinkled piece of paper she found there.

She had been rounding up their dry cleaning for the week. She always had to check John's suit pockets because he'd leave change, messages and all sorts of things inside them. Sometimes it frustrated her that he was so negligent in that regard, but at other times it made her smile. For all his strength and maturity, in some ways he was still much like a boy. She doubted whether she'd ever convince him to empty out his pockets each evening; too many times the contents of those pockets had made the trip to the dry cleaners.

She briefly scanned the paper in her hands. Then she sat down on the bed, hard.

John was applying for a lieutenant's position!

The job notice fell from her hands and for a moment she was dazed.

Why hadn't he said anything to her? He couldn't be afraid of not getting the job! No one was smarter, more capable than her Johnny! While she didn't like his work, she knew he was good at it – the best – and his colleagues respected him.

A desk job. The thought that he was actually considering it filled Laura with happiness. No more worrying about him on the streets, no more nightmares, no fears that she'd lose him… that her baby would grow up as Johnny had, maybe never knowing his father.

She started to reach for the phone, to call him, to share her happiness that he was doing this for her… for them.

Instead, she hesitated before picking up the receiver.

He hadn't told her. Why?

A surprise? Perhaps he was waiting for the promotion to go though. That made sense. He wouldn't want to get her hopes up before being sure he'd gotten the job.

He didn't tell you because he wants it to be a surprise, you silly woman! Laura seized the thought, joy exploding inside her. It would be just like him to do the deed and then celebrate with her. Smiling, she lay back on the bed, closing her eyes in contentment.

Yes, it would be just like him. In the two months since he'd learned they were pregnant, he'd been increasingly gentle and protective of her. Initially, he'd been bouncing off the walls, telling everyone they came in contact with that he was going to have a kid.

That was the boy in Johnny. She understood that and most times enjoyed that exuberant side of him. She'd initially been uneasy about sharing the news with others, but he'd convinced her she'd been silly. He wanted her to let loose, enjoy the fact they were finally going to have the longed-for baby. And she had done just that! She put aside her fears, and started getting things ready for his appearance.

It would be a him. She just knew it! She knew it inside, felt it. She couldn't explain it, but she was certain it was a boy. As a result, all the baby names they considered were male. Johnny wanted to name the boy John, for himself and his father. She had no problem with that… it was the second name that concerned her.

Andrew.

John considered Andy a second father, and wanted to honor him as such.

Laura might have fought him on it, but decided not to; she could see John was concerned about Andy, and the two of them had already fought enough over the man. It was just a middle name; she'd accept it. John had been grateful she hadn't made an issue of it.

You have to choose your battles, she thought, now glad she hadn't said anything of his choice, especially in light of his decision to seek a desk job.

Of late, John had slowly settled down into a thoughtful, measured silence. She'd often look up from whatever she was doing and find his eyes on her, gentle and warm. When caught in the act, a sweet smile would cross his face.

The baby was changing both of them. John seemed deeper, more thoughtful about the future.

The changes in her were even more significant and were both physical and emotional.

She used to laugh at women who talked about 'the nesting instinct,' but since discovering she was pregnant, Laura felt a strong compulsion to start getting things ready for her little one. His room was already coming together. Painted a bright, cheery yellow, it made her smile every time she entered it. The cradle John's father had made those many years ago was sitting in the middle of the room; it would do until they found the crib they'd eventually purchase. Inside the cradle, Johnny's old teddy bear rested. He'd made a face at her sentimentality when he saw the bear in there, but she wanted it. When the baby came, she'd put it on a shelf, a reminder of the boy her husband used to be – and sometimes still was.

Seeing that room, feeling the love already in evidence there, her baby was even more real to her. Lately, it seemed her emotions were all over the place. Knowing she had a baby inside her changed her outlook on things.

Things like her career…

Until she'd become pregnant, she and Johnny had always assumed she'd go back to work once the baby was born. But now, confronted with the reality of sending her baby off to daycare, she found she didn't like the idea. She wasn't having a baby just so someone else could spend eight hours a day with him, seeing his first steps, hearing his first words. She wanted her baby to have her and John's values, not some stranger, no matter how kind or well meaning.

To her surprise, Johnny agreed with her. It would require some sacrifices on their part, but they were willing to make them. She was going to approach her boss about providing legal services from home – and only on a part-time basis. Yes, it would change their economic status, but they were both in agreement: a baby needed his mom, not the casual love of a stranger.

If Johnny got the lieutenant's job, it would help tremendously. It would mean an increase in salary and then Laura wouldn't feel so guilty about staying home with the baby.

Feeling much lighter, she almost drifted into sleep. The first trimester of her pregnancy had turned out to be more physically challenging than she'd expected. She was often tired, and the morning nausea was especially debilitating. When she'd discussed this with her doctor, she'd advised Laura that each woman was different and that she should take more naps and keep a supply of crackers on hand.

Crackers. Ugh.

But they did seem to help first thing in the morning. Now if she could just get past the tiredness. The doctor assured her that with the advancement of the pregnancy, she'd learn to handle the weariness. She hoped so. She didn't like the feeling of listlessness that sometimes came over her.

Laying there, quietly thinking about all their plans, Laura felt a slight twinge in her pelvic region. It was gone almost before her mind registered the disquieting sensation.

She sat up slowly. What was that?

She waited a few minutes, trying to assess her feelings… but felt nothing unusual. Convinced it had been her imagination, she dismissed it from her mind and lay back down.

Her thoughts then wandered down several pathways, settling finally on an incident that had occurred at work the day before. Unbeknownst to her, Tina, had been worried about her paleness and had called Johnny to pick her up after work. The motherly assistant thought Laura had seemed overtired.

Any other time, Laura would have been annoyed at Tina's presumption, but not on this occasion. When Tina confessed, shamefaced, that she'd called Johnny and he was coming to get her, Laura had been relieved. She didn't feel like taking the subway that evening, standing in a press of strangers, dealing with the heat and smells.

Besides, something upsetting had occurred. Something that normally would have made Laura laugh, but, surprisingly, had hurt her.

Feeling slightly nauseous, she'd gone to the bathroom and was inside one of the stalls, recovering from a small bout of sickness. It was then she'd heard the voices of two of the firm's secretaries. The women had presumably entered the restroom to repair their makeup. Not realizing Laura was inside one of the stalls, they began talking – and Laura was surprised to learn she was the topic of their conversation.

"So," said Peg, "what do you think about our Lady Madonna? She kills me. You'd think she was the first woman to ever have a baby!" Peg's caustic voice reverberated against the cold, tiled walls of the restroom.

"She is a bit much, isn't she?" replied Mandy, giggling. "I'm so sick of hearing she and Tina go on and on about the baby's room, baby names, her work schedule, her morning sickness, and so and so on! You'd think she invented pregnancy! Good grief, I've had three kids and I'm willing to bet I never went on like that."

Peg laughed unkindly. "And she's only been pregnant for a couple of months. I've never liked the woman. She's a self-involved pain in the ass."

"Yeah, that's for sure… although her husband is awful cute, don't you think?" Mandy's voice suddenly turned wistful. "He's sure protective of her. Lately, he's been stopping by the office more frequently, taking her home after work. I can't say my Gary ever did that when I was pregnant…"

"Well, maybe you weren't the prima dona our own Lady Madonna is… "

Mandy hesitated, thinking things over. "To be fair, it was her husband who brought up the room and the baby names. I'd forgotten that… he's a very open sort of guy. I like how he always stops by and says hello to the secretaries. He's not a prig like her…"

"He might have brought it up, but I don't doubt that she's the one behind the mad rush to get everything accomplished. I'm sure in her mind this pregnancy rivals that of the Blessed Mother!"

Again, Mandy giggled. "You really don't like her, do you?"

"Not much," acknowledged Peg. "She could come up with a vaccine for cancer and I'd still dislike her."

"Why do you think that is?"

Peg made a dismissive sound. "I don't think too much about it. I just dislike her and that is never going to change."

After the two women left the restroom, Laura came out of the stall and washed her hands. She was surprised to see she had tears in her eyes.

How ridiculous. She didn't like either woman; never had, in fact. But still… it hurt to hear herself spoken about in such manner. Worse, it wounded her to hear people speaking so unkindly about her baby and her excitement. How cruel!

John was waiting for her when she came out of the bathroom.

"Hey, beautiful, hear you need a ride home. Kelly's taxi service at your disposal!" he said cheerfully, kissing her cheek. As he pulled back, he noticed an odd look on her face. "Lori… what's wrong, honey?"

The story tumbled out before she could stop herself.

Angry on her behalf, John frowned. "Look, babe, for some people life is just a shit sandwich and I'd say that is true of those two old cats! Don't let 'em get to you. Screw 'em!" He tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear, and caressed her cheek. "Better now?"

She'd nodded. It really was. He always made things better.

Thinking about it now, she dismissed the unkind women from her mind. Some people were just petty and vindictive, and Laura had always been one to mind her own business and stay aloof from the firm's resident gossips. Perhaps that's why the women disliked her. Well, the hell with them. She had enough happy things to occupy her mind rather than making a melodrama out of remarks made by two people she didn't particularly like even in the best of times. She'd always had the ability to distinguish between what was important and what wasn't – and the remarks of those two had only hurt her because her emotions were fluctuating along with her hormones.

That would settle down. The doctor had said so.

For now, she'd happily contemplate John's new position…

"Kelly, got a minute?" asked Lieutenant Fancy as John and Andy were heading out to get some lunch. The two cops were working the weekend shift, always a busy one and hadn't had time for a break until now. Still, John nodded at Fancy.

"Sure, Lieutenant." He looked at his partner. "I'll meet you downstairs in a few minutes."

Andy looked surprised, but shrugged. "Sure…"

Inside Fancy's office, the lieutenant studied the younger man. "Well, John… did you give any consideration to that position we talked about last week? The window of opportunity is starting to close."

John looked uncomfortable. "I appreciate the opportunity, I really do… but I don't know… I'm not sure I'm ready to make the move right now. I'm thinking of taking a pass…"

To be continued.

Authors' Note: This is a continuing story from the writing team of WriterJasmine and Teeheehee1234. It's meant to be a fun attempt at writing a story together based on words that readers provide to us on a weekly basis. For more information about this, please read our profile and please feel free to participate. The 'bolded' words throughout the story are words that some of our reader friends sent our way this week. The words utilized are: involuntary; favorites; passion; faltering; wild; misconception; pathetic; twinge; compassion; fortitude; tools; glowering; narcissistic; amazing; raid; uproar; baby names; trimester; advancement; cats; melodrama; and distinguish.