The afternoon sun slanted through the grimy window as Ellie sat with her legs crossed upon the bed. Matt took a seat on the edge, shifting the mattress ever so slightly. Readjusting her position, Ellie braced her elbows on her knees, her chin in her hands.

"Soo..." she began, but her voice held the slightest of quavers to it. "Do you know what you're doing?"

Matt hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so."

Ellie's face felt oddly stiff and hot, and she realized with some consternation, that this must be a blush. She looked at the quilt and mumbled, "Well, good, because I'm sure not an expert."

"There's... not a whole lot to worry about," Mat said in a quiet voice. "I mean, I'll do my best not to make it freaky."

"Yeah. That sounds likely," Ellie murmured.

"Hey." Matt reached over and placed a hand on her shoulder, the cloth of her shirt slightly cold with the residual dampness. "You've got such a pessimist's view of this."

"Well, wouldn't you? If this was basically something you're doing because you know you're supposed to, not because you want to?"

Matt blinked, and removed his hand. "I – well... that's saying, you've don't – you've never had a – drive?"

"Drive for what?" Ellie's stared at him.

"Sex."

Ellie shrugged. "I wouldn't call it a drive. It sorta just comes around whenever I don't want it to. At least, if the whole..." she squirmed slightly, "that whole feeling really weird in my belly and kinda hot and like I wish something would fix it. Or that –" she wrinkled her nose, "desire to like, totally have someone, and make them amazingly happy and make them that way because of you." She heaved a sigh. "That made, like, no sense."

"It made sense," Matt said at length. "That's just what it's like."

"So, there's nothing wrong with me?"

Matt met her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with you. Or if there is, it's wrong with me too."

Ellie repressed a grin. "That was totally cheesy."
Matt glared. "Hey. I meant it."

"I know, but it was cheesy," she giggled.

"You making fun of me?"

"Oh, yeah!"

He gave her a push and she toppled backwards on the bed, feet splayed out in the air. He crawled across the space between them and poked Ellie in an exposed armpit. She recoiled with a squeak.

"Did that tickle?"

"Not telling," she growled, locking her arms over her chest, but Matt had her. He poked her in the thigh, in the ribs, the stomach, and before she knew it, Ellie was doing her very best to curl up into the smallest ball possible and catch her breath.

"Stop –" she gasped. "Stop it..."

Matt obediently folded his hands and watched in amusement as Ellie's breathing gradually evened. She flopped back on the bed with a huge sigh, and Matt flopped down by her side, and to his delight, she curled up against him. Matt resisted the urge to grin like a gargoyle, and no sooner had he repressed the joy rising in his chest than he began to worry about the other issues arising from Ellie's innocent nearness. He had been battling these thoughts all day long, ever since he'd met Ellie, really. Sometimes he disgusted himself. But he swallowed, and lifted a hand, stroking it down her soft brown hair, still slightly damp. Her breath caught audibly.

"Matt."

"Hm?"

"What're you doing?"

He let his hand fall back to the bed. "Nothing. Sorry."

There was a long pause. "It's okay. You can do it again if you want."

Matt turned so that he was propped up on one elbow, looking the girl in the face. "Ellie," he murmured. "I really like you..."

He was so near her that Ellie could feel his breath on her face, and somehow she tensed, trying to tell herself it was not unpleasant, there was nothing wrong with it. She forced herself to take in a deep breath, inhaling the air from his lungs, and letting it fill her and relax her. Okay.

"I really like you too, you're cool," she replied, meeting his eyes. "You're not boring at all, or weird, or stupid. You're pretty awesome, actually."

Matt smiled, showing his teeth. "Not boring, or weird or stupid. Well, that's good."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "You know," she said, her voice low. "I like hanging out with you."

"I like hanging out with you. You're... amazing, frankly. You amaze me."

"I don't know what to do when you do that," Ellie muttered, looking at the quilt.

"Just be quiet, then. I've never met a girl like you. I've met strong girls, I've met pretty girls, and I even met a few scary ones." Matt chuckled. "In our town back in Oklahoma there was a girl that could shoot better than my dad. But she was... hard to talk to. She was killed in the tornado. One of the girls – Becky," he shook his head. "I think you've met her. She's really pretty, but she's not... she can't take care of herself. And it's nice to look after a girl, but not to be forced to, if you know what I mean."

Ellie was listening silently.

"But I really like you, and how you can be as brave as a soldier, and still as nice as a sister. That you've been through hell and back, and you still love to nerd out over comics. That you can shoot, but you also can cry. And I've seen you cry," he said gently, "and it broke my heart."

"You weren't supposed to have gotten that out of me," Ellie said in a low voice. "It was nothing, just me being stupid."

"Anyway." Matt looked back at Ellie's face again. "I think the world of you."

Ellie felt a pang in her chest, an actual twinge of pain that made her put a hand to her breast in a move that made her feel like something out of Pride and Prejudice. She snatched her hand away as soon as she realized what she'd done and stammered, "I really like you. You're great, you're not... weird or boring..."

Matt's eyes were focused on her face, roving her features, taking in every scratch, every freckle.

"I want you to feel comfortable with me," he said.

"I do. I completely trusted you. With my life. I just... I'm not in love with you."

Matt took a deep breath, and then put it to her: "How do you know?"

Ellie shrugged. "I don't. I just don't think so. But I really like you. And... I don't mind having to do this too much because you're cool with it, and it rubs off." She nodded. "I can relax because you're relaxed."

"Can I kiss you?" Matt asked in a husky voice. And Ellie nodded.

He leaned in and their lips connected, with just enough magnetism that when he lifted his chin, it guided them into deeper contact. When Ellie had kissed Riley it had been quick – a brief connection of the sensitive, fleshy part of a person that seemed meant to be touched by another. It was a whim, an urge she hadn't denied, and she had thought about the feeling, the rush for weeks afterward. In her mind, she had imagined kissing someone again, unconsciously, of course, and it had made her feel a maddening mixture of pleasure and betrayal. Pleasure because this person she wanted to kiss was so... beautiful. Betrayal because in her mind she could see Riley's round chocolate eyes regarding her with that steady look they had held the moment Ellie had drawn back from the kiss; assurance, and something near to what she hoped was love.

In this moment, she tried to forget both her memories and her fantasies, and focus on Matt, and that he was here. His warmth pervaded the area, and she could feel the soft flutter of the breath out his nostrils against her cheek. It was not unpleasant, to be sure, but she could not shake the feelings of guilt as she did it. Matt broke the kiss very gently, his breathing seeming loud.

"Are you alright?" he whispered, and Ellie nodded, drawing the back of her hand over her mouth without realizing what she did.

"Yeah. Alright." She squirmed, the feeling of heat and strangeness deep within her beginning to play traitor to her well-thought presuppositions. "I – can I touch you?"

"We can do whatever we want," Matt replied, and Ellie nodded, reaching out a hand and lightly brushing it over Matt's dark hair. A thick wave gave under her fingers, and she did it again, seeing Matt's eyes drift closed at her touch. His hand crept around her waist, and she felt herself tense, but did her best to ignore it and continued playing with his hair, her face a mask of concentrated curiosity.

"Take your hair down," Matt murmured at last, and Ellie obeyed silently, pulling the hairtie from her ponytail and feeling the soft strands of her fine hair fall against her cheeks, resting against the back of her neck. Matt shifted upwards on the bed and tightened his hold on her, pressing a hot kiss to her forehead, and Ellie let out a breath, feeling the tingling of her body intensify as the bed pressed into her back. The room suddenly seemed far too warm. Matt looked down on her with infinite kindness ill-concealing desire, and Ellie raised a hand to trace the line of his jaw. It was firm, and hard, not like the jaw she imagined touching, which was soft, and curving... The slight prickle of his whiskers scratched her hand and made a quiet noise in the room as Ellie lifted her head to kiss him on the mouth again, an act which he seemed to find immensely pleasing.

Ellie's head spun, and she was aware of noisy breathing, but hardly realized the breaths were her own. Matt fumbled with their clothing, and she felt his skin against hers, burning as if with a fever. Her eyes were pressed shut, and she could feel every inch of him, inches she both wanted to feel and didn't.

"Are you alright?" Matt asked again, his voice strange, and she nodded. So he began.