This week has been crazy busy! I'm on vacation but I have a million things to do and free time to write has been very little! I hope that you all will enjoy this chapter and how I've decided to incorporate this storyline into my story.
As always flashbacks will appear in italics.
I know some of you may be a little upset with how I've chosen to have this play out, but stay with me, I promise it will be worth it! -J
Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli and Isles, and some of the storylines and dialogue come from the episode in season 2 entitled "Remember Me".
Chapter 21- Remember Me
"You can't go anywhere near that prison again," Jane had warned Maura as soon as they had finally left, the brunette still shaking in both fear and anger. "We can't…you can't...I don't…"
"Jane," Maura had tried to reason, needing her girlfriend to calm down, resisting the urge to reach out for her; knowing it would be the wrong move at the moment. "Jane it's okay. Just…"
"He attacks couples Maura," Jane interrupted, shaking her head, her tone angry even though she didn't mean it to. "He attacks couples and he'll know we're…he probably already knows," she explains, not caring that she sounds desperate, panicked. "If he gets his hands on you he'll…I can't even…"
"Jane he's sick," Maura shook her head, being careful not to sound overly argumentative, knowing how serious this was; understanding just how scared Jane truly was. "You saw him in there Jane. The man is dying. He's not going to hurt you anymore."
"I'm not worried about me Maura," Jane replied, her eyes shining with tears, grateful that they had found a moment alone to talk. "Hoyt doesn't work alone, you know that," she reminded the blonde. "He could have another apprentice, he's done it before, and if he does…We can't risk it. Please Maura. Promise me. Please don't go back. Don't even go anywhere on your own right now. We need to be careful. Please Maur."
"Okay," Maura sighed, reaching out and taking the brunette's hand in hers, lifting it up and giving it a kiss. "Okay Jane, I'll be careful. I promise. It's going to be okay. We'll be okay."
Unable to speak at the moment, Jane instead leant forward, placing her forehead against Maura's, taking a few deep, calming breaths. "If anything were to happen to you…" She said, unable to even finish the sentence, not wanting to think about what Hoyt could do; what he would do, if given the chance. "He's not coming anywhere near you Maur. I won't let him. We can't lose you," she continued, as Maura moved her head in order to place a kiss on her forehead, and then her cheek. "Mia needs you…I need you. I won't let anything happen to you."
"I know you won't Jane," Maura nodded, continuing to place kisses over the brunette's face, wanting her to feel her love. "I know you won't."
RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI
"No…no don't! Don't touch her! Don't you touch her! Maur…Maura!"
"Jane! Janie! Janie wake up," Frankie shook at his sister's shoulder trying to wake her. "Janie come on! Wake up!"
Bolting upright, Jane is breathing hard as she takes in her surroundings, her eyes eventually focusing on her brother who is standing watching her with a worried look on his face. Doing her best to get control of her breathing Jane remained silent, doing her best to avoid her brother's eyes.
"You were dreaming," Frankie said, though it's unnecessary. "Are you alright?"
"I'm okay," Jane nods, though she is still shaking from the nightmare; still feels as if her heart is going to beat right out of her chest. "Sorry if I woke you."
"Nah don't worry about it," Frankie shook his head, taking a seat on the end of the couch, looking as if he wants to say so much, but unsure of how his sister would take it. "You wanna talk about it?" He asked instead, knowing what Jane was dreaming about.
"What's the point?" Jane countered, looking frustrated, as she lies back against the couch, placing her feet over her brother's legs. "It was just a nightmare. Just another fucking nightmare," she said, staring at the ceiling, wishing Frankie couldn't see the tears that were stinging her eyes. "They're never gonna stop."
"It's only been a few days Janie," Frankie replied, rubbing Jane's ankle, trying to offer some form of comfort. "What you went through with…No one expects you to just bounce back from that. Hoyt was…"
"I don't want to talk about this," Jane interrupted, sitting up, her face red with anger. "I'm sick of talking about Hoyt. That man has taken enough from me and I'm not letting him take anything else."
"Well it doesn't really seem that way to me," Frankie mumbled loud enough for Jane to hear, the brunette turning to her brother and glaring.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Jane demanded, her voice angry.
"Aw come on Janie," Frankie tilted his head, sighing. "Look I love you alright, and I'm here for you…whatever you need. I know I can't understand what happened with Hoyt, and I know you don't wanna talk about it, but it kinda seems like you're still letting him win to me," he said, receiving only a blank look from his sister. "How long are you gonna sleep on my couch?" He finally asked realizing Jane wasn't going to make this easy.
"I…" Jane began, almost immediately closing her mouth.
"You can stay here as long as you need Janie," Frankie sighed. "However long you need. But I…I really hate seeing you like this Jane. Maura loves you, and I know you love her too," he said, placing his hand on his sister's shoulder. "I know you said you just needed time but I'm worried. I really don't want to see you throw away something as amazing as Maura and Mia. You should at least talk to her Janie."
"I…" Jane tried again, feeling tears threatening to fall, her throat closing with emotions. "I don't know if I can," she shook her head, hiding her face in her hands.
"I think you need to try," Frankie said, giving Jane's shoulder a squeeze before standing from the couch, knowing the brunette would rather deal with this on her own. "You gotta at least try."
RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI
I never should have let Maura convince me to come here with me, was the first thought Jane had when Hoyt grabbed her by the throat and the guard revealed himself as Hoyt's latest apprentice. Her second thought was Amelia, seeing the little blonde on the back of her eyelids as she struggled against Hoyt's hold on her, panic taking over her entire body as she feared that she may never see Amelia again; that Maura may never see her daughter again, because of her.
With Hoyt holding the tazer to her neck, Jane did her best to ignore Maura's cries from across the room, willing Hoyt to keep his attention on her, wanting to keep the blonde safe. With her hands bound by zip ties, and Hoyt on top of her, there was very little the Detective could do, keeping him talking as long as she could as she willed someone to find them; someone to save them.
"I'm dying, and I want company," Hoyt told her, exchanging the tazer for a scalpel, his preferred weapon. "I think I'll take you and Dr. Isles with me," he said right before dragging the scalpel over Jane's neck, drawing blood and causing the brunette to cry out, Maura's own cries heard across the room; Jane grateful that she couldn't see her face.
It wasn't until Hoyt had Mason hold Jane down that the brunette began to fight against her capture as she realized where Hoyt was heading, wanting to keep the attention on herself and away from Maura. The blonde, who was sitting up on the bed across from them was crying softly, looking panicked as Hoyt made his way closer, tazer in hand.
"No! No! Don't you touch her!" Jane called, panic taking over. "Hoyt don't you touch her!" She continued to struggle against Mason, hearing the sound of electricity as Maura's body fell back against the bed, immobile. Hoyt moved to straddle the unmoving Doctor, pulling out his scalpel and dragging it over the blonde's neck, creating an identical wound to Jane's and ultimately sending the brunette into a blind rage. "No! Stop it!" She yelled, thinking only of Maura and Amelia as she head butted Mason, getting to the tazer in time to immobilize the guard.
Needing to protect Maura, Jane was seeing red as Hoyt turned his attention back to her, the brunette's body practically moving on it's own as she fought against Hoyt, eventually gaining the upper hand. "I win!" She said, raising the scalpel over Hoyt's body. "And you're going to hell alone," she snarled before stabbing him in the chest, practically collapsing in exhaustion as shots rang out, not truly knowing what was going on until Korsak's hands were on her shoulders, pulling her up and into his arms.
Allowing herself two loud, heart-wrenching sobs, Jane let Korsak comfort her for a moment before pulling away, stumbling towards where Frost was helping Maura sit up, the blonde still looking dazed, having not yet gained control of her body. "Maura," Jane cried, grateful when Frost moved, giving the couple some space after ensuring that Maura could sit up on her own. "Maura, Maura, Maura I'm so sorry," the brunette continued to cry with her head against the blonde's shoulder, neither woman moving. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI
"Amelia come pick up your dolls please," Maura called to the five-year-old sitting at the dining room table.
"No!" Amelia yelled back, not moving from her seat, Maura freezing in place, not used to her daughter outwardly refusing her.
"Excuse me?" Maura scoffed, moving so she could see her daughter, the little blonde sitting at the table with paper and crayons spread out in front of her. "You get in the living room and clean up your mess right now young lady," she said, voice firm as she pointed towards the family room. "Get moving right now."
Slamming her crayon down on the table, Amelia stood from her seat, stomping towards the other room in order to pick up the dolls she had left strewn all over the floor. Sighing Maura pinched the bridge of her nose, taking a deep breath in order to calm herself down.
Five days. Five days since Maura and Jane had been attacked. Five days since Charles Hoyt was finally killed. Five days since Maura had seen Jane. Five days of a miserable five-year-old who wanted nothing but her Janie.
Watching as Amelia kicked one of her dolls across the room, Maura had to resist the urge to completely lash out, knowing her daughter was suffering just as she was. "Amelia enough," she said sternly. "Enough with the attitude. Just pick up your dolls."
"Don't got an attitude," Amelia mumbled grumpily as Maura rolled her eyes in frustration.
"Yes you most definitely do," Maura replied, watching as Amelia gathered her dolls into her arms. "And I think it's time to get ready for bed. Let's go upstairs. I'll be there in a minute."
Listening as Amelia stomped up the stairs, Maura decided to give them both a few minutes to calm down, moving to the dining room table in order to clean up the little girl's colouring from earlier. Gathering the crayons back into their box, the honey blonde froze when her eyes landed on the picture that Amelia had been drawing; a picture, which nearly broke the Doctor's heart. The drawing depicted two blonde figures with sad faces inside a house while a brunette figure stood on the far edge of the page, obviously outside the house. Not needing to be a genius to understand her daughter's drawing, tears stung Maura's eyes as she took the picture into shaking hands.
Her heart feeling heavy, Maura made her way up the stairs towards Amelia's room; finding the little blonde already in her bed, sitting up with her arms crossed over her chest. Knowing they needed to talk, Maura sat on the edge of the bed, taking another deep breath.
"I found your drawing," Maura said, placing the picture over Amelia's legs, the little blonde refusing to look up at her mother. "It seems awful sad," she then said, rubbing the little girl's leg over the blanket. "You seem like you're pretty sad too."
Raising her shoulders in a shrug, Amelia's hazel eyes shone with tears, though her face looked angry. "Talk to me sweet girl," Maura ran her hand over the little blonde's head. "It's okay to be sad. I'm sad too," she admitted.
"I miss Janie," Amelia replied, tears falling down her cheeks, her angry posture finally loosening as she allowed her mother to pull her into her arms. "I want Janie to come home Mommy. How come she d-doesn't c-come h-home?"
"I know sweetie, I know," Maura continued to stroke blonde hair, feeling tears stinging at her own eyes. "I'm so sorry Baby. I know you miss Janie. I miss her too."
"W-where is she?" Amelia asked, her head falling against Maura's chest, tears immediately soaking the older blonde's shirt.
"Janie is staying with her brother right now," Maura replied around a lump in her throat, doing her best not to cry. "Mommy and Janie had a pretty…scary day at work and Janie just needs some time to deal with that," she tried to explain, knowing Amelia was unlikely to really understand. "Janie just needs a little break."
"Is she gonna come back?" Amelia looked up with sad eyes.
"I…" Maura's voice got caught in her throat; unable to answer a question she didn't truly know the answer to. "I really hope so honey," she sighed, pulling her daughter close, laying them both down. "I hope so."
RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI
It had taken Maura quite some time before she had felt like she had returned to her body, feeling Jane holding her tightly, hearing her constantly apologizing, yet unable to reciprocate. It wasn't until she was at the hospital, alone in a private room, that she had regained complete control; a feeling of loneliness immediately filling her as she began to panic. Needing Jane, Maura had thrown back the covers of her bed, trying to get out of bed when Frost walked in.
"Dr. Isles I…hey, hey what are you doing?" Frost asked, quickly making his way over to the Doctor, as she was unsteady on her feet. "Doc you need to get back in bed."
"I need Jane," Maura shook her head, her chest tightening, her breathing uneven. "I need to see Jane. Where's Jane?"
"Okay, okay it's alright Doc, it's alright," Frost held Maura by the shoulders, carefully leading her back towards the bed. "Jane's alright, she's just getting checked over. She's sent me here to check on you. She'll be here soon okay? You need to stay in bed though," he told her, helping her back under the covers. "Jane will be here soon, I promise."
"Oh…okay," Maura nodded absentmindedly, working on calming herself down, trying to get her breathing back to normal. "Where…Amelia is she…does she…"
"She's at home with Angela," Frost assured her, placing a hand on her wrist. "It took a lot of convincing to keep Angela from coming here, but she's with Mia. She hasn't told her anything. Last I checked they were watching a movie. She's alright."
"Good," Maura nodded. "That's good."
Understanding that Maura was likely still in shock, Frost kept his hand wrapped around the Doctor's wrist, offering his silent support and comfort, as he didn't want to leave her alone. Listening as Maura got her breathing back under control, Frost thought that the blonde looked likely to fall asleep, the excitement of the past few hours completely wearing her out. It wasn't until the door to the room opened and Jane stepped inside that Maura even made a move.
"Jane!" Maura sat up straight, breathing a sigh of relief as the brunette immediately threw her arms around her. "Oh thank God. Jane. It's over Jane. It's over…thank…thank God."
"I'm sorry Maur…I'm so sorry," Jane apologized against the blonde's shoulder, tears escaping down her cheeks, unable to hold them in any longer. "I'm so sorry."
"It's over now," Maura shook her head, holding her girlfriend tightly, the couple now clutching each other as if they were afraid to let go. "It's over."
RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI
"I need a favour," Maura told Angela the next morning in the kitchen, having spent the night in Amelia's bed with her, the pair crying themselves to sleep. "I need you to take Amelia to see her," she said, not meeting Angela's eyes, knowing she would understand who she meant. "Please. I need you to take her to her Angela. Please."
"Are you sure Maura?" Angela asked, handing the blonde a cup of coffee. "I'll do it. Of course I'll do it," she said. "But are you sure that's what you want? Maybe you should…"
"No," Maura was quick to shake her head. "No I…I can't. You should…she doesn't want…I can't," she struggled. "Amelia needs to see her though. She shouldn't have to suffer."
"Okay, Maura," Angela nodded, understanding, hating the fact that her daughter was being so stubborn; pushing away the best thing in her life. "I'll take her. Of course I will. I'll go help her get ready," she said, giving Maura's shoulder a squeeze before heading for the stairs in order to get Amelia.
Not wanting to get Amelia's hopes up in case Jane wasn't at Frankie's, Angela simply told the little blonde that they were going on an adventure as Maura had errands to run. Though Amelia wasn't overly enthusiastic she had followed along, saying a rather clingy goodbye to her Mother before allowing Angela to take her out to her car.
"Where are we going?" Amelia asked later, in the car, the pair almost at Frankie's apartment.
"We are going to see someone real special," Angela replied, smiling as she pulled up in front of Frankie's seeing Jane walking up the street in her running clothes. "And look, there she is," she said pointing towards the brunette, smiling as Amelia gasped.
With the car parked, Amelia immediately let herself out of her booster seat, throwing the car door open. "Janie!" Amelia shouted, Jane momentarily freezing in place, her mind catching up with her just in time to catch Amelia in her arms. "Janie! Janie I missed you!"
"Oh Bug I missed you too!" Jane replied, her arms tightening around the little blonde whose limbs were now wrapped around her, feeling tears instantly stinging at her eyes; feeling her Mother watching her from where she stood by the car. "I missed you so much Bug!"
"Where have you been Janie? Why didn't you come home?" Amelia asked placing a hand on each side of Jane's face. "When you comin' home?"
"Oh well…I…" Jane struggled to answer, briefly letting her eyes meet Angela's seeing nothing but disappointment reflected in the older Italian's eyes. "You know what Baby I just don't know yet," she admitted, hating the sadness that immediately filled the little girl's hazel eyes. "I'm so sorry honey. I just don't know."
RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI
It happened later, after they returned home, after the impromptu birthday party that Angela had decided to throw Jane. Though both Maura and Jane had been exhausted they had pulled themselves together for their friends and family; had put smiles on their faces in order to greet the five year old who was waiting anxiously for them.
It wasn't until later, when everyone had left that things had truly hit Jane; the entire day hitting her in a way that she hadn't expected. Having left Maura to finish putting Amelia to bed on her own, Jane had retreated to the master bedroom, immediately pulling out a bag and quickly throwing some of her things inside.
"What are you doing?" Maura asked, frozen in the doorway, watching as Jane threw an armful of clothes into her bag. "Where are you…why are you packing?"
"I need to go stay with Frankie for a few days," Jane replied, not looking up, knowing if she looked into those hazel eyes, she would surely lose it. "I gotta…I need to go."
"What do you mean you need to go?" Maura repeated, her emotions obvious in her voice. "Why would you…no! Jane no! Why would you go? Stop it," she made her way over to the brunette, grabbing her arm, trying to prevent her from packing any more. "Jane please. Why are you doing this?"
"Because I have to," Jane looked up, her brown eyes not only full of sadness, but a fear that Maura had never seen there before. "Don't you see? Look at what happened today Maura. Look at what could have happened! I can't…I have to go."
"No you don't," Maura argued, tears filled her eyes as she struggled to hold on to her girlfriend. "You don't Jane! Everything is fine! I'm fine, you're fine, Hoyt's gone! You don't have to go anywhere!"
"Hoyt could have killed you Maura!" Jane yelled, startling the blonde whose hold on her arm loosened enough to allow the brunette to step away. "He could have killed you and it would have been because of me. He came after you because of me!" She continued, her eyes now also filled with tears, breathing hard. "He could have taken you away from Mia and it would have been all my fault."
"But he didn't, you didn't let him," Maura countered, feeling panicked, as her girlfriend seemed to be slipping between her fingers. "Jane you didn't let him! I'm okay! I'm still here. We're both still here," she continued, tears now falling down her cheeks. "Please Jane. Please don't go."
"I'm…I'm sorry," Jane shook her head, holding in the tears that were blurring her vision. "I have to," she practically whispered. "I have to. I'm sorry."
RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI-RI
Angela was setting them up. Maura knew it from the moment that the older Rizzoli had called her telling her that something had come up and she needed to go visit her cousin, forcing Jane to be the one to drive Amelia home. The couple hadn't seen each other in almost a week and Angela had obviously had enough; using Amelia to force their hands, a move that Maura should have seen coming from the moment she had asked her girlfriend's mother to take Amelia out for the day.
Hearing a car pull in the driveway later that night, Maura was on her feet in an instant, peaking out the front window to see Jane lifting an obviously sleeping Amelia out of the car. Since she had no free hands, Maura quickly made her way to the front door, opening it up and greeting Jane with a small, nervous smile.
"Thanks for bringing her home," Maura whispered, hoping her voice didn't sound too shaky.
"Thanks for letting me see her," Jane replied doing her best to smile, though she was clearly just as nervous as the blonde. "I uh…I really needed this today."
"Of course," Maura nodded, knowing how much Amelia had needed Jane as well. "Do you…would you like to put her to bed?" She asked, gesturing towards Amelia who was fast asleep, her head resting on Jane's shoulder.
"Uh yeah of course," Jane agreed, the look on her face indicating that she wasn't quite ready to give the small blonde up. "I'll bring her up," she nodded.
Following Jane up the stairs and towards Amelia's bedroom, Maura decided to hang back in the doorway, watching as Jane placed Amelia in her bed, tucking the covers up to her chin before leaning over to kiss her head.
"I love you little Bug," Jane whispered, the silence in the room making it easy for Maura to hear. "Sweet dreams Baby Girl."
Standing up and turning around, Jane took a deep breath as she made her way to where Maura still waited by the door. "I uh…" she struggled to speak with the blonde so near; the familiar smell of Maura's perfume invading her senses. "I should go," she whispered. "Thanks again."
Surprised by the very abrupt departure, it took Maura until Jane was at the stairs before she kicked into action. "Please don't go," she called, Jane freezing with one foot hovering over the top step. "Stay. Please. Stay and talk to me," she said, moving closer, her tone begging. "Please Jane. Don't go. Talk to me. Come home."
"I…" Jane remained with her back towards Maura, her shoulders rising and falling with each breath she took. "I can't," she shook her head, her shoulders hunching, a tear slipping down her cheek, unseen by the blonde behind her. "I'm sorry. I just can't."