Chapter 82
Omake F
Take a breath and count to ten.
A big thanks to Erephen for her advice on how to write baby talk- she writes the best baby talk I have ever seen.
And even though technically Tsunayoshi is learning Italian, I'm still going to write in English. The process is the same.
"It's about time you all invested some effort into raising this child. He's not mine alone and it's clear he wants love from all of us. So we're going to give it to him. This is the only mission I have you all today. Feel free to share it out amongst yourselves. But if I find that even a single one of you hasn't done their share, there will be consequences… for ALL of you… Alrighty then, have fun~!"
"Okay Tsunayoshi, all comfortable?" Skull asks, looking down at the boy sat between his legs. They were perched on the edge of Ookado's tank, dipping their feet into the water as relief from the summer's heat. Tsunayoshi nods back up at Skull, smiling brightly.
"Good," Skull smiles back. He leans down over Tsunayoshi's shoulder, pointing to some objects in the distance. "Now look over there, there's Billy, Milly, Tilly, Lilly, Gilly, Dilly, Filly and Sir Quackington." What? It had a top hat and a monocle, what else was he going to call it? Yes, that was the collection of rubber ducks that Skull kept in the bathroom. He had brought them down to help him teach Tsunayoshi something.
"Watch them carefully." Tsunayoshi, who was looking up at him, nods before turning to stare at the rubber ducks. Each one had a defining feature, whether that was lipstick and rose cheeks for Tilly, a mohawk for Gilly, or actually being blue with yellow glow in the dark stars for Dilly.
Skull looks up, across the water to his partner, "Okay Ookado, hit it!"
The huge octopus nods before raising one duck out of the air.
"-illy!" Tsunayoshi shouts, pointing and clapping at the duck raised in the air. He knew which duck that was!
Skull laughs, because the majority of then ended in '–illy.' "I know, but that's not what we're here for today. That is 'one' Tsunayoshi, 'one'." He holds one finger out, pointing to it with the other hand, before pointing to the single duck being held aloft by Ookado. "One. One."
"On'!" Tsunayoshi says, copying Skull.
"Good. Now the next one." Skull congratulates, giving Tsunayoshi a head pat.
Ookado raises two ducks in the air. "That's two ducks. Two." He says slowly and clearly.
"Quack Quack!" Tsunayoshi laughs, pointing to the duck held in Ookado's left tentacle, Sir Quackington.
"Yes, but we're doing something else." Skull says, trying to sound serious. "Listen Tsunayoshi, two." He holds up two fingers. "One, two. Two." He explains, pointing to each finger before doing the same for the two ducks Ookado was holding.
"T'o?" Tsunayoshi asks, tilting his head.
"Yeah! Two." Skull says, smiling again.
"T'o! T'o!" sings Tsunayoshi, holding his hands in the air. His eyes widen and an excited smile brightens his face as he realises he had two hands. He holds them infront of Skull's face, waving them enthusiastically. "T'o!"
"What do you think you're doing?" comes a smug voice from surprisingly close to them. Skull jumps, luckily not dislodging the baby from it's seat.
"Wah, Reborn-sempai! You scared me. What does it look like I'm doing? I'm teaching Tsunayoshi to count. I thought it would be more fun this way." Skull explains defensively.
"Heh, Luce asked us to teach him to count to ten." Reborn states, laughing in Ookado's directions.
"Yeah, and?" Skull asks, crossing his arms. He hadn't done anything wrong.
"Maybe you need refresher classes, idiot. If you knew how to count you'd know there are eight ducks out there, and that Ookado only has eight tentacles." Reborn says, a demeaning smile on his face. Skull wonders where Reborn's going with this. He knew that Ookado only had eight tentacles, all octopi did, otherwise they'd be Decopus instead. "Eight, not ten. Where are the other two coming from?"
Skull's eyes widen. Oh Reaper, how had he not thought of that!
Reborn smirks, pulling his fedora down so only white teeth could be seen. "But don't worry Skull, I'll help you out."
"Oh thank you Reborn-sempai!" Skull says happily in relief. He'd been worried he was going to mess Tsunayoshi's education up. If Tsunayoshi couldn't count to ten he was doomed for the rest of his life and it would be all his fault! He scrambles up and over to Reborn. "So what are you going to do?"
Reborn's smirk turns more devious- if that's even possible. "This." He says before kicking Skull hard. The stuntman goes flying across the tank, landing on top of the floating rubber ducks, creating a loud and wet splash. Skull splutters, trying to regain his balance in the water, his hands thrown into the air to try and grab something. "There, now we have ten." All of Ookado's tentacles were in the air too, trying to decide on the best way to save their master.
Tsunayoshi pouts, understanding that this is a bad thing. "No. Bad Rweborn, bad."
Reborn shakes his head before gathering the brat in his arms and exiting the warehouse, ignoring Skull's shouts and spluttering's. As he crosses the garden he gets a phone call, Leon changing into his mobile for him since it was a work call. Leon was kind enough to transform into a hands-free headset so Reborn didn't have to move Tsunayoshi. When the call was over, Leon detransforms before crawling down Reborn's arm and settling on the child's stomach, waiting to get some attention and petting.
Reborn walks the child inside before going up the stairs and knocking on a dark violet door. When he hears the signal, he opens the door and steps inside.
"I just got a call from my 'contact', I'll be needing that money now." He says, holding his hand out.
Viper grumbles as she writes something down on a piece of paper on her desk. A few seconds later, Fantasma crawls out of her robe, carrying a pile of notes on his back. Reborn didn't need to ask the obvious questions, like whether the notes were traceable, Viper was good at her job. He strides across the room, swapping the money in her palm for the child. Before she can protest, he's walked out the door with a quick thanks.
"My turn is it?" She complains, "Not like I had a choice in the matter."
Tsunayoshi looks at her, wondering why she seemed to be in a bad mood. He pats the tattoos under her eyes, trying to cheer her up. She sighs, tightening her arms around him, before putting him down to sit on her lap. She swivels in the chair, returning to face the desk proper.
"Counting is important, so get it right." She orders. Counting was very important to her and her money. Incorrect counting usually meant a loss, rarely a gain… especially if she was the one counting someone else's money. "Plus I'm wasting time here, so we should get this done quickly."
The baby nods as if understanding what she had just said.
Viper picks up an extremely small but very important pack of cards and gives them a shuffle. She lays the cards out in two rows, before putting the spare cards in a pile to the side.
"On', t'o. Ah… ah…" Tsunayoshi said as she laid them down. He didn't know what came next.
"Three." She says, placing the third card down. "One, two, three."
"Eee?" Tsunayoshi asks, tilting his head as he looks up at her.
She shakes her head before turning the child so he had a better view of her face- Verde had said that being able to see her mouth move helped the process. "Three. Thr-ree."
" 'Ree. 'Rrree!" He says excitedly, thinking he had gotten it.
"Close enough." She supposes, shrugging her shoulders.
She leans back over him to place some more cards on the table. "W-w-o'n… t'o… r-re-'ree… " He repeats as she lays out the cards. As she puts the next one down, he once again realises he doesn't know what's next. He looks at her in distress, flapping his hands and nodding his head in a sign for her to continue.
"Four." She supplies.
"Fo'. Fo', fo'." He repeats back.
"Nearly. Foouuurrr." She says, trying to emphasise the ending sound. Tsunayoshi had nearly been there.
"Fooouu'" He copies, looking like he was concentrating.
Viper nods her head. At least she could tell the difference between this and his attempt at saying Fon.
Fantasma crawls onto the desk before sticking his tongue onto the cards and croaking. Viper looks at him before nodding. "It couldn't hurt. I haven't tried it on him in a few months anyway." The frog nods his head and retracts his tongue. Collecting the cards and shuffling them again, she then place the pack infront of Tsunayoshi. "Pick one up and place it onto the table, picture side up." She asks, miming the motion so he understands.
He nods enthusiastically before grabbing the first one. "On'." He says as he places it onto the table before picking up the next. "T'o. 'Ree. Fou'"
He looks at the cards with the pretty pictures on them, touching and patting the cards since it looked like there was people on them. He couldn't feel any people on them. He tugs Viper's robe and points to the pictures, showing he was done and wanting praise.
"Well done." She mumbles, instead looking at the cards.
They had infact been using a tarot deck, the Major Arcana for the moment, since she had been doing some divinations before Reborn had interrupted. The Wheel of Fortune, Justice, The Emperor and The Fool. Hmm, a strange choice of cards. She had some thinking to do.
"Hn, I've done my share, let's find someone else. I have a meeting I need to attend anyway." She says quietly, still half thinking about all the meanings those cards had. She picks the boy up and carries him downstairs.
She practically bangs into Fon as she walks down a corridor, not really concentrating. Fon stops just in time, a hand catching her elbow to keep her upright too.
"Viper, is something-" He stops, noticing that Fantasma was on her head and not inside her robe, along with the altogether hazy aura she had; She'd been doing something spiritual again. He quietly takes Tsunayoshi from her arms, before stepping aside to let her walk past.
"Any idea what she's up to little one?" Fon asks. Tsunayoshi shakes his head, not understanding it either, but half thinking it was his fault "Oh well, best to leave her to her own devices when she's like that." Tsunayoshi nods in acceptance of the advice.
The small child then notices that Fon's not in his usual clothing but something different. He pulls on the new robe, his confusion evident on his face.
"Hm? Oh this?" Asks Fon once he realises what the child wants. "I wear this when I'm training. It allows for freer movement and it doesn't matter if this gets dirty or ripped." With that said, he goes outside, sneaking through the forest in their garden to his training grounds, a flat clear area with a small waterfall and pool to one side. He puts the boy down in the shade, reminiscent of the months previous when Tsunayoshi couldn't even walk, before starting to stretch.
After stretching came the basic warm up movements and patterns of sequential moves. It was calming to fall into the rhythems and patterns, letting his body lead.
"On'!"
Fon stopped in his movements, one arm out in a punch, the other hand in a fist at his hip, legs spread for balance and stability. Surprisingly enough it had been the first move, even though he had continued this pattern, not stopping before the repeat but flowing straight back to the start instead. How Tsunayoshi had known it was the first move, Fon didn't know.
"Yes, one." Fon replies, smiling as the baby.
He then starts the next move when the child doesn't say anything else. The extended arm came back to his hip whilst the other fist slammed out in a left handed punch instead.
"T'o!"
Fon blinks at the baby, "Correct, two."
Next came the most basic of kicks with his right leg. " 'Rrree!" And then his left leg, "Fou'".
The baby was quiet then, observing him the whole time as he always did unless he was asleep. He finished the whole pattern before going back to the beginning.
"On'!"
And so it continued. On the third time, he realised that Tsunayoshi's silence was because he didn't know what came next. "Five." He explains, holding the position for the fifth movement.
" 'Ive? F've?"
"Five." Fon says again.
" 'Ive! 'Ive 'ive 'ive." The boy sings, happily bouncing in place.
Fon pivots on his foot, twists his body slightly and repeats the fifth movement with his left hand. "Six."
"Si'?" Tsunayoshi pouts, knowing that was wrong, it had sounded more like a hiss than a word.
"Try again Tsunayoshi. Six." Fon prods, holding the position until the child got it right.
"Si'… Si's… Si'su." He pauses for a moment, considering that last one. Then his eyes light up and he starts waving his hands around again. "Sis! Sis!"
"Well done Tsunayoshi." Fon praises, smiling gently at the child. "Can you do them all?"
"On', t'o, 'rree, fou', 'ive, sis!" The boy chimes, patting the floor with each number. Liking the sound so much, and proud of his achievement, Tsunayoshi keeps on saying the line of numbers again and again.
Fon sighs, resigning himself to a day of studying the basics. But instead of complaining, he just gets on with it, listening to the child happily singing away to itself repeating those numbers, simply taking pleasure in the child's happiness. Alternatively, he concentrates on making sure that he's not sloppy, that the positions of his chin, shoulders, stomach and hips are correct.
Tsunayoshi grins as he's watching Fon. "On', T'o, Sis!"
Fon stutters for a moment, not expecting the change in numbers, but still follows the child's wishes anyway. Tsunayoshi continues on throwing random numbers at Fon, trying to decide which order he liked them best in.
A little while later and their training session is interrupted.
"Oi, there you are brat. I've been looking everywhere for you." Lal says, walking across the grass to pick the baby up. "You done?" She asks Fon.
The martial artist nods. "I am finished. But what do you want him for?" Lal wasn't one to openly seek Tsunayoshi out. She only ever did for one reason.
"To help me test my useless student. He's gotten cocky with me, so I'm going to teach him a lesson he can't protest to." She explains seriously.
Yeah, that was the only reason- to annoy Colonnello with. Fon sighs, but lets the baby be taken away anyway.
Lal exits the clearing before running through the trees to a different area of the forest. This was their own private training ground, away from the COMSUBIN's watching eyes. Reborn used it sometimes, but in general it was just theirs.
She grins to find Colonnello still struggling in the middle of the rocky ground, hands still bound behind his back, feet still tied together.
"Oh, so you didn't run away then?" Lal asks, walking into the sparse area.
"Of course not. I'm going to show you that I can take anything you throw at me." Colonnello announces defiantly. "You left just to get him? Ha, I can prove myself in front of him too then." He grins at the baby, who giggles and waves in return.
"I'd shut your mouth if I were you." Lal shouts, stopping a safe distance away. She places Tsunayoshi on her hip before grabbing something from a bag on her belt. It was a small black box along with a walkie talkie.
"Lal, what are you going to do with that?" Colonnello asks, recognising that box.
Lal doesn't answer, instead throwing a knife at Colonnello. It lands where she wants it to, a few steps infront of the soldier. "All you have to do is escape."
"Che, that's it? Piece of cake." Laughs Colonnello, wriggling around to get his knees up under him.
Lal turns to Tsunayoshi, "Can you count for me Tsunayoshi?" She asks.
The boy's eyes light up, Lal rarely asked him for anything, or even talked at him. She usually shouted at him to be quiet instead. "Heehee, yes yes!" he replies in glee. "On'."
Lal presses a button.
Thunk.
Colonnello just has time to roll out of the way, ungracefully rocking into his back since he still couldn't use his limbs. He stares in shock at the metre long bamboo stick, still quivering in the ground from its force of impact. If that had hit him…
"T'o." Tsunayoshi carried on obliviously, having been looking up at Lal the whole time, looking for some sort of approval.
Colonnello brings his legs up to his chest as a flurry of bullets fly from one of the trees. He rolls over, dodging the bullets, and at the same time, moving further and further away from the knife. As soon as the bullets stop he stops rolling, face down and makes another attempt at standing. It took a little bit of work, not having his arms to push up with, having to rely on his abs and stomach muscles instead. But eventually he gets on his feet and starts to hop towards the knife.
" 'Ree."
Colonnello hears the sound of something being released, and looks around him. There he notices a rope net flying through the air. His eyes widen for a second before narrowing in concentration, madly hopping to find somewhere where the net won't land on him. Luckily it doesn't and settles on the floor behind him. He glares at Lal, who only gives him a look back, before smiling at Tsunayoshi.
"Well done, any more?"
"Yea! Fo'!"
Beep. Beep.
Colonnello looks around himself quickly, trying to ascertain where the noise was coming from. He notices Lal speak into the walkie talkie- a number if his lip reading is correct. He looks at the trees around them but can't see anything shining, or any shadows to give away an accomplice's location.
And still the beeping goes on.
Colonnello jumps again, knowing that staying still was a foolish act. The noise continues on getting louder the closer he gets to the knife. The next jump he makes sounds funny during the landing. Things click in Colonnello's mind and he sweeps a foot as best as he can along the ground. A glint of silver and a red flashing light show his thoughts were correct. A landmine. He quickly hops away from it, still towards the knife, hoping that the blast wouldn't be too bad. Lal and Tsunayoshi were quite far away, but close enough to tell him that this blast wouldn't be a fatal one for him.
He's right in his guess. The blast wasn't fatal, but still strong enough to push him to the ground once more.
Because of the blast, he doesn't hear Tsunayoshi show Lal that he can count as high as six.
"Do you know what comes next?" Lal asks, keeping half an eye on the smoke cloud. Tsunayoshi shakes his head. "It's seven. Se-ven."
" 'Even? 'Even!" He cheers when Lal nods.
The smoke clears after their small chat, revealing Colonnello doing something reminiscent of the 80's dace move, The Worm, wiggling with all his might to reach the knife.
"Why don't you tell Colonnello the new number you've learnt?" suggests Lal, watching how stupid and pathetic her student looked.
"'Nello! 'Even!" Tsunayoshi shouts proudly. Colonnello was always telling him how good he was, he'd come over and give him a head pat!
Instead a dripping arrow thunks into the ground infront of Colonnello's face. The soldier didn't even need to guess what the substance was, just knowing it was on there was enough to deter him. With a growl he changes direction- which wasn't easy with how tied up he was.
"Good boy. And next comes eight."
"Ei'," was all of eight Tsunayoshi could manage, but it would do. A jet of water comes out of the trees, soaking Colonnello and the barren earth around him. The ground turns to mud as he wiggles and moves, agitating it. Slowly it gets harder and harder to move. Mud clings to his front and his back, to his hair and even his face. He had to be careful now to not get any in his eyes or else he'd be a goner.
"I think Colonnello wants to hear more of your counting, doesn't he Tsunayoshi?" She asks slyly.
"No I blood-" Colonnello was about to shout, glaring at Lal. But he looks at Tsunayoshi's distraught face, and then at Lal's superior and condescending smirk. Resolves fires up inside him, his competitive streak not letting him lose, not fail infront of Lal. "Of course I'd love to Tsunayoshi. Off you go." He is rewarded with a gleeful nose from the child, and the ominous countdown beings once more.
A few minutes later and he's already tired, the mud dragging him down, his abs and stomach muscles screaming at him from their overuse.
"Why does he keep on saying seven when he can't even pronounce it properly?" Colonnello grumbles to himself, dodging the umpteenth arrow- maybe the archer would run out soon. "I just hope he's not trying to say heaven instead. God knows what Lal's ordered to be put on them."
The problem was, that Colonnello now had the knife in his hands. He had done so for quite a while now. But he hadn't been given the time to stay still long enough to undo his bonds. Tsunayoshi was far too over enthusiastic about his new counting abilities, and it didn't seems like the child would tire or get bored any time soon. Damn him.
However he keeps on concentrating, focusing on slicing at the bonds little by little, knowing they'll all add up eventually.
And finally he does get free.
"I WIN KORA!" he shouts, throwing his hands in the air in a manly winning pose. He looks over towards Lal and Tsunayoshi, a grin on his face, "Told you I could- eh? Where's Tsunayoshi?" The boy wasn't in Lal's arms anymore.
"He left with Reborn about 5 minutes ago." Lal explains, looking at her watch.
Colonnello couldn't believe it. "And you just let me carry on?" Colonnello shouts.
"Of course, you hadn't gotten free yet. So now maybe you'll think before opening that big mouth of yours." She chastises.
Colonnello walks past Lal, tired and ready for a bath. "Never." He grins before running off. It would be a very long time before he stopped making passes at Lal. He grins and laughs to himself as he hears her shout a moment later, no doubt already in pursuit.
Reborn couldn't watch Colonnello crawl around in the mud any longer, and so had taken the child with him, knowing it would annoy the blond to no end.
Zip. Zip zip. Zip.
Reborn shot off round after round with his brand new gun that he had gotten less than a half an hour ago. It was what he had gotten the money from Viper for, the phone call earlier telling him it was ready for collection. Tsunayoshi was sat on a chair next to him at the Sasagawa firing range, in a private area designed for people with his level of skills. The gun was silenced to stop it harming either of their ears, especially since they didn't have any ear defenders small enough for the child.
"Nine!"
Reborn shoots six bullets in a perfect circle along the coloured target's area closest to the bull's eye.
"Oh, oh, 'en!" Reborn looks the child in the eyes, a dangerous smile on his face the whole time. In quick succession, six rounds are shot once more. After a moment of quiet, Reborn turns around, and, just like he'd known, there was only one hole, directly in the centre of the target. Six perfect bull's eyes without even looking. Although that was to be expected since the target was stationary.
Reborn walks towards a panel in the wall, tapping in a few commands and codes. Satisfied, he turns towards Tsunayoshi once more. "Stay still and don't move an inch, understand?" The force of Reborn's look would have kept Tsunayoshi in his seat anyway. "So, Tsunayoshi, count to ten in any order you like." He smirks, his superior self-assured look back on.
There are three robotic beeps before a target pokes out of the wall. Reborn points his gun at it, looking at the child still. "Well?"
"Nine." Tsunayoshi replies. Three bullets go through the ninth circle on the target.
Another target peeks out of the ceiling. " 'Ive." Tsunayoshi had said the number quicker this time, so four bullets dart through this target.
Another target comes out of the floor junction. " 'Even." Six bullets through the 7th circle.
Tsunayoshi giggles and claps, but remains as still as possible.
The game continues, with the targets slowly speeding up, and eventually more than one target poking out of the wall at once. But Reborn shoots them all with ease, never once breaking off eye contact with the child. But eventually the gun clicks empty, and Reborn's reaching hand doesn't find any more ammo.
"Hm, seems like the gun works well." Reborn comments, looking at the piece of weaponry. That was quite a nice test run. "C'mon, let's go home." Tsunayoshi nods, reaching up for the carry he knows he's going to get. "Good work brat. You can finally count to ten." He gives Tsunayoshi's hair a quick ruffle before walking back towards the Arcobaleno house.
Verde looks up from his extensive piles of magazines, journals and professional books, and over to the baby sitting in a playpen playing with the internal organs of a scientific dummy. The child was laughing, making noises and talking to itself, perfectly content. Before the child had come, there had never been any of these scientific journals in Verde's laboratory before. He had had no hand in children ever, nor did he have plans to. However, it was always imperative to get good, evidential advise from professionals who knew their subject. Hence, not long after it became clear that the child really was going to be living with them, Verde had brought or gained subscriptions to every journal that seemed to be of use.
And according to those journals and expert books, this was around the time that the subject should learn how to count. The dates weren't exactly right since Tsunayoshi had learnt to talk at a later date than usual, so he was taking this event in relation to the other. Luce had agreed with him, and had hatched a plan.
So here they were later that night, sitting in comfortable chairs, glasses of fine wine and snacks to hand, rewatching the footage that had been recorded of the Arcobaleno's endeavours today. They hadn't been here because Luce had forcibly dragged Verde to his appointment, giving out a lecture at the top scientific university in the world followed by a Q&A session and book signing. Verde hates social events like this, hence why Luce had been there, to make sure he didn't say something stupid with his harsh demeanour, nor do anything dangerous to escape. She was still working on his social skills.
"They all did well today and had fun doing it," Luce concludes, smiling at the image on screen. "I knew keeping the baby was a good idea."
Verde looks at the cluttered mess his laboratory had become, and then at the child in question- who was sucking on what seemed to be the intestines of the anatomical dummy, at least he wouldn't be able to choke- and wondered if what Luce had just said really was true.
Verde looks at his observational notebook, filled with changes the child had brought. But the question was, were they all good?
Haha, I don't think omakes are supposed to be longer than normal chapters, but oh well.
And please keep on submitting those ideas for the school arc, you have until Thursday!
Phantom Hitman 1412
First Published: 24 February 2013