Chapter 83

Omake G

Operation C.

I know I said that I'd start the school arc today, but I'm still in the middle of planning it. To be honest I'm rushed of my feet with University work, and because of how large the new arc is going to be, it's taking longer than usual.

But, next update, aka Sunday, is a very important day for Mafia Row, so I want to do something special for it. And I thought it would be better to do another omake than to start and interrupt an arc right at the start.

Warnings: Crackish chapter (I don't know what I'm on at the moment… oh yes I do, it's called getting 3.5 hours sleep last night.) and Italics abuse.

Have fun~

It was one of those rainy days that made you want to do nothing but lounge around in bed all day. One of those lethargic days where one swears it's not rain but Rain Flames falling from the sky, their tranquil nature blanketing the house and sapping energy. The Arcobaleno were all very busy people: if it wasn't work, then it was Tsunayoshi, if it wasn't Tsunayoshi then it was Luce, if it wasn't her it was one of the others. Tsunayoshi may have been a quite baby in general, but that didn't mean he didn't have his moments where he acted his age and cried and cried at the silliest times in the morning. One such incident had happened last night, with little Tsunayoshi scared of a lightning storm.

Another occurrence of a weird phenomenon happened last night. Verde had had the perfect chance to study something that had confused him for a while now. And that was the ability for a baby's cry to travel through walls, be far louder than such a tiny set of vocal chords and lung cavity should be able to produce, and be heard practically anywhere. Verde had been down in his lab at that time- he did some of his best thinking and work during thunder storms- and even he had heard the baby wail. Verde even managed to measure the decibels of the cry and was quite surprised.

But the main thing was, none of the Arcobaleno had gotten any sleep that night. Well, all but one: Viper had just illusioned out the sounds as soon as she knew a thunder storm was coming. She didn't even realise that Tsunayoshi had made a noise during the night. And there was no way in hell that the Arcobaleno were going to wake her up. There were very drastic consequences, both to one's mental state and financial state (It was the first and last time that Lussuria woke Mammon up for breakfast whenever she fell asleep at the Varia Mansion).

Which means that this rainy day was even more lacklustre than usual.

For everyone but a little baby, who was in the mood for an adventure…

Tsunayoshi awoke from his nap in the middle of the living room floor, covered by a blanket. Not that he'd ever be cold, especially when he's surrounded on all sides by fur, feathers, scales and skin. He looks around with blurry eyes, just simply watching the animals in their sleep. Eventually he makes contact with a pair of glowing yellow eyes. It had been Leon's turn to keep watch whilst the others slept, so he had been awake. Seeing that the baby is awake too, he crawls over and licks the baby's cheek. Tsunayoshi giggles, before giving Leon a very gentle pat- Leon was only small after all.

The giggle had woken the other animals up, who were as light sleepers as their masters' were. Cosmo scampers up Tsunayoshi's arm to settle like he always did with Luce, on top of the head.

"Adabadaba!" (Good Afternoon, sleep well?) Tsunayoshi burbles happily, waving his hand whilst trying to look at the squirrel on his head.

Falco hops over, running its beak through Tsunayoshi's feathers, trying to sort out the horrendous case of Bed-feathers the child had. It was almost as bad as Verde's after he'd been shocked with a few thousand volts. Tsunayoshi sits there, letting the bird do what it wanted, giving a stroke to the bird's chest feathers. It was amazingly clean for a bird that followed two mud covered soldiers and COMSUBIN members. Eventually the hawk hops backwards, tilting it's head to both sides to judge how good a job he had done.

"How does he get his feathers to stay that fluffy? Even Cosmo's isn't that fluffy." Wonders Falco.

The wide-eyed, cute, fluffy fluffy fluffy squirrel looks up from his perch, having been forced to move when Falco started his ministrations. "Huh? Me?" He asks innocently, knowing perfectly well what they were talking about. "I'm not sure, but it makes a great place to sleep in."

"It does." Nods Leon, having slept there before now too. The rest are jealous since they are too large to fit comfortably in the boy's hair without harming him.

Tsunayoshi watches the animals talk amongst themselves, wondering what they are talking about and whether he can join in the conversation too. A chitter comes from his left, along with a tug to his hippo pyjamas. Tsunayoshi looks across to find it was Lichi who had been tugging, holding his beaker of watered down juice in her tail. Clapping his hands, he chortles thankfully before picking the tiny monkey up and placing her in his lap, where he could give her a proper pat and scratches. He takes the beaker from her tail, sucking on it whilst looking around the room.

Hmm, that was strange, none of the adults were around. Not that he minded, he was sure the animals could do a good job of looking after him.

He puts the now empty beaker of juice down next to him, wondering what he should do next. A grumble from his tummy decides that for him. He needed some food. And he knew exactly what he wanted too. He had been on solid food for a few months now, and he was rather partial to a cookie. One of Luce's hand-made chocolate chip cookies. The ones that were all crumbly, with chocolate chips that you could suck on. Heaven. And he happened to know that Luce had made some yesterday, he'd been there to 'help' after all. (Helping was known as getting snowed on by flour whilst Luce wasn't looking and eating at least half of the chocolate chips before they made it into the bowl. Although Lal had helped with that bit, stealing some as she came into the kitchen for a sandwich.)

"Babayadaba." (I'm hungry. I want a cookie.) He explains to the animals around him, waving his hands in the air.

"Any idea what that was about?" Asks Fantasma, looking at the others. They all shrug. None of them could talk whatever language Tsunayoshi was talking. So he stomps up to the baby, staring him in the eyes, murky red to bright brown. "Make yourself clear for heaven's sake. You're always bothering my mistress, making her talk for you. It's about time you learnt to talk for yourself!" He growls. Maybe he should change form and scare him with a flying snake. That'd teach the brat.

Fantasma was just about to until a scaled paw drops on top of him, pressing him lightly into the carpet. It didn't hurt, but it wasn't comfortable either. "Jealousy is so unbecoming, although I suppose I can't expect much better from you." Drawls Keiman, not having moved since he had woken up. "If you still want those hugs and cuddles you so desire then you must not be trying hard enough. It is no fault of the child that he is more interesting that you are."

Falco gives out a squawk-ish laughter, watching as the frog glared a hole into the carpet. Leon trots around to be in Fantasma's eye-line, having to lay in the floor to get low enough. "Do you want me to save you?" He asks innocently. The frog hisses back.

"Uh-uh." (Up-Up.) Tsunayoshi demands, pulling on Keiman's leg slightly. Keiman relents, retracting his paw.

A loud grumble sounds, and everyone, Tsunayoshi included, look at the child's stomach. Tsunayoshi puts a hand on it before looking in the direction of the kitchen. It was about time to go find that cookie. So he gets onto all fours and starts crawling towards the kitchen.

"Oh, so he's hungry." Lichi comments, watching the child crawl away. "Aren't his paws going to get cold like that though? He's got no fur on them." The others look and see that Tsunayoshi doesn't have any shoes or socks on, nor any gloves of any kind.

Keiman sighs. "My partner wouldn't want his subject to come down with a cold. Someone go fetch them." He takes a few steps forwards, grabbing the back of Tsunayoshi's clothing gently in his jaws, making sure not to catch the skin. The baby crawls for a few more steps before realising it's no longer going anywhere. It stops, sitting in the middle of the floor, pouting cutely.

Falco flies off, searching from the air for any sign of the removable fur the humans wore. Eventually he finds a pair, and picks them up in his claws before flying back downstairs. He drops them before landing back on the floor again. Lichi catches the socks, and along with Cosmo, helps put them on the child's hind paws.

Now fully clothed, Tsunayoshi makes his second attempt at crossing the living room. Luckily this time, no one stops him. After a minute or so of heavy-duty crawling, he came to the door of the kitchen. He sits against the wall catching his breath. When he looks up, it's to find that all of the animals have followed him.

"Bbbyadoba?" (What are you all doing here?) He asks, tilting his head and waving a hand at them.

"We're coming with you." Cosmo explains having guessed from the child's expression and gesture.

"We're not letting you out of our sight." Continues Leon, taking a step forwards to rub his cheek against Tsunayoshi's knee. The others all nod in agreement, making quiet growls or squawks.

Tsunayoshi gets the message that the animals are along for the ride. "Ababba-da-da. Da-ba-be-doo-boo. Kibadadoo." (Okay. Your mission, if you do choose to accept it, is to distract whoever is in the kitchen long enough for me and the others to get some cookies. There should be enough left for us to share.)

The animals stare at the boy for a long time, before finally turning to each other. "I didn't get that one either." Admits Lichi.

"I think he wants to play hide and seek with whoever is in the kitchen." Leon guesses, pointing with his head back in Tsunayoshi's direction. The child was peering around the door, trying to see who was inside without actually stepping into the room yet.

"Plus we know he's hungry." Cosmo adds. "He must be after food without our partners knowing."

"Maybe he wants something sweet? They don't get the sweet stuff out until later." Adds in Falco.

They look back in the child's direction, only to find him looking at them. Seeing that he now has their attention, he grins before patting the floor three times. And then he crawls as fast as his little chubby legs will allow.

"Hey, what? Wait!" Chirp the others in surprise. And wow could the babe move fast. They tumble over each other in their rush to follow and watch over the errant child.

In the kitchen, they find Colonnello, singing along to the radio loudly as he makes himself some sort of snack. Tsunayoshi is half way between the door and the table, still crawling as fast as he could go. Seeing that Colonnello was about to turn around, Keiman, Lichi and Falco rush to stand in-between the soldier and the child, effectively blocking one's sight of the other. Cosmo runs up Colonnello's clothing, eventually sitting on his shoulder. He titters cheekily, emitting a high pitched squeak-laugh to Colonnello's ears, before biting one of the man's earlobes.

Colonnello yelps and jumps at the shock and pain- little blighter bites hard- hands flying to his ear. He pulls his fingers away for a second to find a small bit of blood. "Oi, kora! What've I done to you?" He shouts, trying to catch the animal scampering around his body like a race track. Cosmo decides that running down Colonnello's back is a bad idea since he had almost turned around fully that last time, so instead the squirrel runs down the inside of Colonnello's trouser leg.

Across the room, the other animals have made it under the table safely, generally out of sight of Colonnello.

"Gyuuba-ba. Aaaahbada-woo." (Good, he didn't see us. Now we just need to get up there.) Tsunayoshi says, looking at the animals, waving a hand first at Colonnello, and then up in the direction of the biscuit box where he knew the prize would be.

"Yeah, he's after the cookies. I can't blame him, they are very nice." Leon confirms.

"Do you think Cosmo will be okay?" Lichi asks, ducking down to look up at the adult warring with a furball.

"Of course he will be. He's Luce's pet after all, no one would risk harming him. Luce gives them more fur that they hate otherwise." Keiman supposes, taking a glance too. It was rather funny watching their partners run away from her.

"So how are we going to get him up there?" Falco asks, looking up and up and up to where the kitchen counter was.

All eyes flick to Leon since he's the super-duper transformational chameleon. "Me?" He asks. "Err… Instead maybe we should-" Leon whispers his plans to the others.

Keiman, grabs the back of the baby's clothing once again, stopping Tsunayoshi from going anywhere and getting caught. He sits down under the table and curls up around the child, letting the boy try and grab his flicking tail to keep him entertained.

Meanwhile, Falco grabs Lichi and flies her to the top of the kitchen counter. The Biscuit box was too large and the wrong shape for Falco to be able to grab it himself. Instead, Lichi does, picking it up and taking it to the edge of the counter. With a quick glance to make sure that Colonnello isn't watching, Lichi drops the biscuit box over the edge, before jumping down after it. Leon was waiting at the bottom, in the form of a trampoline. The box bounces slightly before landing on Fantasma's back. From there, Lichi removes it and places it on the floor.

"Oi, Cosmo, we've got them!" Falco caws.

The squirrel lets out a squeak before leading Colonnello out of the room and hiding under a sofa. Whilst the soldier tears up the living room looking for 'the damned rat', Cosmo sneaks back in and joins everyone under the table. They pry the lid of the box off before each grabbing a biscuit.

Within seconds, Tsunayoshi has reduced his cookie to crumbs, getting them all over his knees, but it was soo much easier to eat it this way.

"Dabado!" (Thank you~!) Tsunayoshi says before tucking in vigorously.

Out in the living room, Colonnello grins, pressing the stop button on his phone. That was so much bribery material for Luce right there! Oh, the things he could ask for with this footage as leverage. She wouldn't be able to stop cooing at the video he had just recorded. It was worth the one little bite just to see the animals look after Tsunayoshi for a day.

Talking of animals, Ookado had sulked for days after having heard what he missed out on. Although he didn't mind too much. He had had a lot of fun playing the role of the Kraken in Skull's latest Gig over in Australia. At least it had been warm, unlike Mafia Row at the moment.

This chapter was inspired by a YouTube video I watched when getting inspiration for the baby talk. It's called "Twin baby talking to each other translated". It made me giggle the first time I saw it, and it's about this one baby trying to convince his twin to help him get a cookie. Plus I haven't written in the Arcobaleno Partners for a while, so I decided why not. Although I'm worried about my sanity if after watching that video, this chapter is the first thing I think about, damn plunnies.

Anyway, I'll see you all next Sunday for the special chapter. I'm not sure what I'm doing yet, I'll just have to wait and see~

Phantom Hitman 1412

First Published 28 February 2013