AN: W-wow..three more followers... Haha...um..be honest, are you all flaming my story? I'd understand, I would...
God my self esteem is low. I'm sorry.
You deserve a more confident writer. I really do appreciate you all though. You have no idea how much my self esteem increased because of you all. I've stopped doubting myself irl as much as I used to, and it's because you're all here. I have all of you cheering me on as I write, no matter how long it takes you're always there. Thank you all so much for helping me believe in myself again.
Anyway, let's write this.
"Hey, Kyoya? Why did you pick me?"
Kyoya froze, looking at Kaoru. "What do you mean? Why wouldn't I? You've been flirting with me since-"
"I know, but is it pity? You have so many girls who want you, hell half the guys here would pick you over any girl they see. So why me? I've been rude this whole time. I-"
"You haven't, you've been surprisingly kind to people over the past couple of years. Kaoru did they get to you?"
"Eh? Y-you saw me?" Kaoru didn't make eye contact with Kyoya, he was too scared to.
"Yes. Look at me Kaoru."
"They didn't, I'm fine. Let's just finish this, okay? I have a lot of homework, and studying if I want to pass." Kaoru continued setting up. He felt silly, how could he let those stupid girls get to him? It was ridiculous ! He was proud of himself, his family, his boyfriend. He didn't have to worry what people thought of him, they didn't matter.
But, why did he have a sense of self doubt if that was the case? Why did he want to curl up and die? Why did he hear a voice in the back of his mind saying Kyoya can do better than you?
He didn't understand, he didn't want to understand either.
"Kaoru."
Kaoru remained silent, continuing his work. He didn't have the guts to face him.
You coward.
"Kaoru?"
You're worth nothing, you have no right to-
"Kaoru!"
Kaoru was spun around by Kyoya, forced to look up at him. He tried to look away, but even in the corner of his eye he could see Kyoya. He hated it, he really did. He didn't want to look at him, it would be a nightmare because the minute they made eye contact.
"Kaoru?"
Tears were slipping from his eyes, falling down his cheeks and onto the floor. Kyoya wiped them, hugging the boy close to him.
"K-kyoya?"
No answer, but the grip tightened. He was held so tight he almost couldn't breath. Kaoru hugged back slowly, more tears falling. He was scared-no-he was terrified of Kyoya knowing their were better options. He wanted that part of get out of the way, because then he'd be happy, right? There wouldn't be as much heartbreak as if it was done later, and he'd be okay. He'd be able to move on quicker, to enjoy life more.
Kyoya would be happier.
That's what Kaoru thought at least.
He was wrong, Kyoya-as calm as he always is outside-was having a panic attack on the inside. He knew what Kaoru thought, he knew he wouldn't be able to magically fix him just like that. It would be impossible to do that. He wanted Kaoru to know he loved him, and he was needed. He wanted Kaoru to look at him and say that he loved Kaoru more than anything in the world.
He wanted Kaoru to know that.
"Just stop thinking that, okay? Please stop thinking that. I don't want to hear you ever say it'll be better if I left, I know what you're thinking. You're as easy to read a an open book. Just shut up, okay? I'm happy with you, no idiotic girl is going to change that."
Kaoru then noticed Kyoya was crying too.
"Promise me, Kaoru. Promise you'll stop thinking that!"
"I-I promise."
"Good."
Kyoya didn't let go for the next hour, letting them both stay there crying.
He deserves much better.
AN: Hey, didn't take me two months this time.
Um, yeah. Update sooner or later (probs later).
Coolio-did I just say that?
God I'm such a kid.
OH! Yo thanks for treating me like a human, at first I got messages saying I had to either be a boy or a girl but now I have followers who are just like "damn this writer is blah, they are writing about blah and blah".
Thanks for that my little nuts~
More virtual cookies for accepting my gender~