Disoriented. That's what Anna felt when she woke up to find herself tucked into bed. The last memory she had before falling asleep was crying on James, which was slightly embarrassing now that she thought about it. She hoped she didn't do anything more embarrassing than that once she'd lost consciousness, like drool. Drooling would be infinitely more embarrassing than crying. At that thought, Anna braved sitting up, wondering where James was, before glancing down to see him lying on the hard floor. His eyes were open, focused on the ceiling, and it had Anna wondering how long he'd been awake.
"Were you down there all night?" Anna's voice cracked a little, a result of her dry throat from crying the night before. Her body was dehydrated. "You didn't have to sleep on the floor," she added after clearing her throat. James could have woken her up so she could go back to her room, or stayed in the bed with her. Instead he moved to the floor, after taking the time to make sure she was comfortable without waking her up. And he did that after letting her cry all over his shoulder.
"Thank you, by the way. For last night. I really needed it." James had helped her not feel so alone. She had been a little surprised how well he had dealt with her crying, considering it had probably been before Hydra wiped him that he'd even seen anyone crying at all.
"Anytime," James mumbled as he sat up, leaning his back against the bedframe.
"Did you get any sleep last night?" Anna asked as she scooted closer to the edge of the bed where James' was leaning, trying to get a better view of his expression. Sometimes, when he didn't answer with words, it was easier for her to guess what his answer would be if she could see his face and attempt to read his expression.
"Some," James responded, but Anna noticed the slight creasing of his forehead that usually signaled he wasn't being completely truthful. He had done it when she asked him about his shoulder the other day.
"I could leave, let you get some rest," Anna suggested, to which James wrinkled his nose, disliking that proposition. It was just as endearing as it had been when he'd used it to showcase his disinterest in pain medicine. And just like before, it had Anna smiling as her hands reached forward, running his hair through her fingers to reassure him she wouldn't go if he didn't want her to. The unexpected action caused James to jump a little.
"I'm sorry," Anna apologized, her hands freezing and her cheeks burning. She hadn't even thought about what she was doing, she just reacted on instinct. His hair was right there, and it'd just been too adorable, the way he reacted to her suggestion that she leave, for her not to reach out in some way. "I'm so sorry," Anna repeated, pulling her hands back to her lap and cursing herself for making things awkward.
"No, it felt good." James murmured reassuringly, closing his eyes in satisfaction when he felt Anya's fingers hesitantly return to his hair at his reassurance.
"You know, I'm kind of jealous of your hair," Anna commented as she ran her fingers through said hair. "It's nice and thick. The type of hair any girl would kill for, metaphorically speaking. Although some girls may be willing to literally kill for nice hair." Anna's mutterings had James' lips twitching up, something that didn't escape her notice. Although she didn't say anything about it, feeling it would only make him less likely to respond in such fashion in the future, and she didn't want to risk the chance of getting to see his full smile. She had a feeling it would be amazing.
"Do you think the guard from yesterday will tattle on us? I mean, he's bound to have noticed I never left after bringing back food last night. I don't want to get you in trouble again." Who knew what Rumlow would do if he found out Anna had stayed the whole night with James? He was spiteful enough when James just spent part of the night with her.
With his eyes still closed, James' simply shrugged his mechanical shoulder, not really caring if anyone knew or not. Whatever punishment that came from last night would be worth it. It had led to moments of closeness that left James' wanting more. He had gotten a taste of what a connection with someone would mean and he didn't want to ever go back.
"So nonchalant about physical or mental retribution. Well, you might not care, but I do." Anna muttered, her fingers working through his hair faster as her frustration with James' lack of caring for his own wellbeing grew. What she didn't realize was, it was because she cared that James didn't. Because regardless of what they did to him or forced him to do, he'd still have her there after it all, caring about what happened to him, and that was worth going through Hell for.
"Just, try to refrain from doing anything to purposefully piss Rumlow off. He seems to have a vendetta against you, for some unknown, illogical reason." James' couldn't help but think that she was one to talk. Every time she turned around Anya seemed to be verbally assaulting the agent. Whereas James had never said a word to him.
"Promise," James assured her, though he didn't think it would stop Rumlow. Like Anya had said, he had a personal vendetta against James. One that James had a feeling was about Anya, seeing as it hadn't started until she arrived. Not that he was about to mention that to her, as it might be the one thing to make her distance herself from him: if it was the only way she could protect him.
…
Anna hadn't answered when Tony called. Normally that wouldn't be cause for alarm, had he not called ten times and received voicemail immediately each time. Anna never had her phone off, too afraid of missing a call from the hospital.
"She's still not answering," Tony muttered as he tossed his phone beside Pepper on the couch.
"Have you tried Steve?" Pepper suggested, as she flipped through the latest figures for Stark Industries.
"Of course I did. Capsicle's not answering either." If the Avengers and his sister had just agreed to actually live in Stark Tower after New York, this wouldn't be a problem. But no, they had to be all independent and deny his hospitality.
"Well, maybe they're together and they want to be left…alone." Pepper added distractedly. She was used to Tony's worrying about Anna, and most times it all turned out to be for nothing.
"He is 'friend-zoned,'" Tony snapped, shaking off the idea of the Capsicle and his sister.
"We've been over this Tony, you can't friend-zone someone for your sister. It doesn't work like that." Of course it did. The Captain had agreed to Tony's demands when they had that sit down talk after Anna 'joined' SHIELD.
"I'm telling you Pepper, something isn't right." This time Tony knew he wasn't overacting, and he was going to prove it. "Jarvis! Locate recent satellite pictures of Capsicle and Anna Banana."
"Is that really necessary? Do you really want to resort to having Jarvis stalk your sister?" Pepper asked, finally putting down the file to look at Tony.
"Why not? The government already does." If the government was allowed to stalk people, so was Tony.
"The Government has a Jarvis?" Pepper asked sardonically.
"No, of course not. Jarvis is copyrighted. They have an entirely different, less intelligent, system to help them stalk people." Tony scoffed, pouring himself a glass of scotch while he waited for Jarvis to report back.
"I'm sorry sir, I cannot locate any recent pictures of Anna. The Captain was last seen with Black Widow entering a mall in downtown DC earlier this week." Well, Rogers wasn't with his sister. Which should have made Tony happy, but it only worried him more.
"What about either of their financial accounts, any activity?" When Jarvis responded negatively Tony slammed his glass down on the counter.
"See Pepper, something isn't right. Anna hasn't accessed her account at all this past week. There isn't even a goddamn photo of her from a camera at a red light, let alone the hospital where she spends all of her time." Running a hand through his hair Tony began pacing in front of Pepper, too keyed up to even think of what to do next. If Jarvis couldn't find Anna, who could? Should he assemble the Avengers to help him? Or put on one of his suits and go to DC himself?
"Why don't you just call SHIELD?" Pepper suggested, causing Tony to shout out for Jarvis again. It almost made Pepper want to pour herself a glass of scotch.
…
When Anna gave James the option, he wanted them to spend the day in his room again. Anna didn't mind. All she had to do was get food to tide them over, and she was starting to become familiar with the path from their hall to the cafeteria. Unfortunately for her, Rumlow had been waiting for her. And by the look on his face, he had heard about last night.
"That's a lot of food you've got there for such a tiny person." Rumlow commented as he sidled up to Anna.
"What's it to you?" Anna challenged. She had been so close to escaping before he stopped her. All she wanted was to be back in the room with James.
"Maybe I wasn't as…clear as I should have been yesterday," Rumlow ignored her comment and instead stepped in front of her to stop her. "The asset has its own room for a reason. He's to be in solitude until he's needed for a mission." The way he talked about James had Anna gripping her tray tighter as she kept repeating 'don't piss him off' in her head.
"You brought me in to be his doctor. He was shot. That requires me to see him to make sure he's healing properly." Anna responded through gritted teeth, stepping around Rumlow.
"Does it require you staying the night in his room?" Rumlow spat back, his eyes glaring daggers into Anna's back. He felt a sense of success when his words made her pause.
"As long as he's ready at Hydra's beck and call, what does it matter?" Anna finally answered before continuing on her way down the hall. It took all of her self-control not to get into it verbally with Rumlow. That wouldn't help James. It would only make things worse as well as require her to spend more time in Rumlow's presence.
Expecting the agent on duty outside of James' room to give her a hard time, Anna was surprised when he didn't say a word to her as she opened the door. Perhaps Rumlow hadn't given the order to keep her from the room. Or, more likely, he hadn't given it yet, assuming his little discussion with her earlier would be enough to scare or shame her away. Leaving Anna with the impression that Rumlow wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Either that or he didn't know Anna at all.
Preparing to pretend as if the last twenty minutes hadn't happened for James' sake, Anna opened his door only to find pretending unnecessary. While she had been gone, James had moved onto the bed and now laid passed out across it, proving she was right: he did need rest. As silently as she could, Anna crossed the room and set the tray down on the table. It wasn't until she was closer that Anna noticed the creases on his forehead and his tight fists. Whatever he was seeing in his sleep, it wasn't pleasant.
Knowing it could either help, or end up very badly for her, Anna climbed into the bed beside James. When he didn't immediately react against her, didn't see her as a threat in his nightmare state, Anna adjusted her position so her head rested on his chest. Placing her hand beside her face, Anna let her fingers trace patterns lightly against James' shirt. After a few moments, Anna noticed his fists loosening and couldn't keep a small smile from growing on her face. The fact that she could help comfort him, like he had helped her last night, made her inexplicably happy.
The longer she laid there with James, the heavier Anna's eyelids became. Before she knew it, she was slipping into sleep, her hand replacing tracing patterns with a loose grip on his t-shirt. That time it was James' turn to be disoriented when he woke up. Glancing down at the pressure on his chest, he found Anya's head resting above his heart. It was the second time she'd fallen asleep on him, but that time he didn't move to the floor. With his heart beating faster, James wrapped his mechanical arm lightly around her, while his right hand moved to lay overtop hers on his chest. Closing his eyes, he fought off the sleep that beckoned him to return to unconsciousness. He wanted to stay awake like that for as long as possible, to hold onto the feeling of security and tranquility.
There was no way of telling what time it was when they both woke up for good, how much of the day was spent sleeping. All James knew, was he hadn't slept so well in a long time. There was no denying that was because of the petite woman sitting beside him who was currently in the process of downing her second bottle of water. As he snuck another glance down at her, James noticed how some of Anya's hair had fallen from her braid. It had his hand twitching, wanting to brush it behind her ear. Instead, he busied himself with the cap of his own water, turning it around in his free hand as a distraction.
"Do you normally have a lot of nightmares?" Anna asked him, once she felt satisfied in her rehydration. The dryness of her throat had only intensified after her nap, leading to her attacking the water bottles she'd brought earlier.
"I don't know," James answered truthfully, his eyes squinting in concentration. "I can't remember."
"I guess that's not necessarily a bad thing." It wasn't exactly a good thing either. Memories, even those that caused nightmares, were sacred. The fact that James' memories were continually being wiped by Hydra was a form of cruelty Anna had hoped the world would never achieve.
"My favorite is when I have lucid dreams," Anna added in an effort to start a more cheerful conversation. "Ones where I realize it's a dream and I can start consciously changing it."
James had never had a lucid dream. At least, not that he could remember. They sounded nice. Being able to control something, even if it was just a dream, made him wish he'd experienced one. It would be a nice escape from the world, and a good way to entertain himself whenever he was under solitary confinement. Although, he was pretty certain that having Anya there was better than any lucid dream could be.
"But those don't happen very often. Most of the time I can't even remember my dreams when I wake up." Anna continued with a sigh. " Which can be annoying, because I'll be left with the inkling that I just had a really good dream, but I can't remember it for the life of me. But then when I have a nightmare that I'd rather not remember, it stays with me for days." It was like the world enjoyed cruel irony.
"Tony was going to try and build a machine that would store dreams from brainwaves, so I could remember my dreams and watch them whenever I wanted. Before the accident, that is. Then he became too busy with dad's company. It was a nice idea though. He was a lot more creative with his inventions, before he inherited Stark Industries. All his fun projects were put on hold for a while." Taking over Stark Industries had taken up a lot of Tony's time, with any spare time from it being spent either partying or helping Anna with homework. No time for inventions that weren't pertinent for work.
"Accident?" James' question pulled Anna out of her memories, only to throw her mind back further in time to when she'd gotten the news.
"My parents died in a car accident when I was little. Tony was at college so Ida, my nanny, was babysitting me. I always insisted on waiting up for them to come home, whenever they went to business events. Ida tried to make me go to my room when the cops showed up at our door, but I wouldn't listen. They said mom died on impact. Dad wasn't so fortunate." Anna stopped talking after that, knowing that if she continued she'd just start to cry again. One night of crying was enough to last her a while, she didn't feel like crying two days in a row. It was around that thought that she felt James' hand reach for hers as he mumbled an apology.
"You know, you're starting to get the hang of this whole comfort thing," Anna encouraged, glancing up at him as she allowed herself to lace her fingers with his. There was another flicker of an almost smile across James' face as he gently squeezed her hand back.
"Normally I'd rely on chocolates in a situation like this. Copious amounts of chocolate and ice cream. I'd take a bubble bath and then curl up in bed in some comfy pajamas and just stuff my face with sweets." Anna added thoughtfully, glancing down at their hands. "So, in a way, I'm just getting the hang of accepting comfort." James had Anna discovering that physical comfort from another person was much more satisfying than food. Not to mention, there was the bonus of not waking up with a chocolate hangover and a stomach ache.
James was oddly happy that Anya was as new at this as him. It made trying a lot less intimidating, knowing she didn't have much else to compare it to. Hydra had never prepared him for this kind of thing. He was their weapon, their asset. He was trained extensively in many different combat styles. But when it came to human interaction, Hydra would rather him not have emotions, as they saw it as a detriment. And James had never questioned them on it. Until Anya. Because with Anya's hand in his, he felt stronger, like he could take on the world.
A/N Yay for the posting of the next chapter. I've gotta say, you guys give great feedback, so thank you all who review. Also, a shout out to all who favorite and follow :) By all means keep it up! The next chapter will probably be when James goes after Steve for the first time, at least that's how I have it planned out now. Oh, did you guys enjoy Tony sneaking in there? Because I enjoyed writing him in :) Now for the guest review responses!
To the Guest who commented how they think my story is well-paced I just want to say thank you! I'm trying really hard to balance not moving too fast with not moving to slow and to hear you think I'm doing a good job with that means a lot!
To the Guest who left many complements about being in love with my story after just 6 chapters: thank you so much for all those lovely things you said. Funny enough I actually did stumble across Beyond Repair very recently and I LOVE it. I also found it a funny coincidence that the main OC character in that story is an Anna as well. Perhaps this means Bucky just needs to be with someone named Anna? Lol Also, I'm glad you like the little snippets of Tony in the story. I find it fun to sneak him in here and there. Hopefully you enjoyed his appearance in this chapter!
To the guest you mentioned that the chair is coming soon: Unfortunately it is coming up with in the next couple chapters, and though I am looking forward to writing it, I hated that scene in the movie. It gave me all sorts of feels for Bucky
To the guest who found it amusing that Rumlow thought it'd be easy to keep Anna and Bucky apart: I feel like your speculation is answered in this chapter: yes Rumlow was pissed about Anna spending the night in Bucky's room. Also, as mentioned earlier, Bucky will probably be sent after Steve in the next chapter. However that is where my answering your questions and speculations must end, as I refuse to give spoilers!