When Anna woke up, it was to a damp pillow and a hoarse throat. She had fallen asleep crying, and it took her a moment to remember why. When she did, it hit her like a knife in the heart. Today, there was a good chance that James was gone, that Hydra had obliterated him, buried him deep inside and replaced him with the Winter Soldier. All because she'd acted with her heart instead of her head. She'd told him the truth because her heart wanted to heal him. She'd comforted him because he had needed it. And that had cost him his memories.

Sitting with her back against the wall, Anna pulled her knees up to her chest in an attempt to keep from falling apart at the memories of the night before. Running a shaky hand through her tangled hair, she practiced breathing evenly like she told patients who were on the verge of an anxiety attack to. She could feel an asthma attack coming, tightening her lungs and making breathing even more difficult. Reaching for the inhaler under her pillow only served as a reminder that it was James who had provided her with it, momentarily causing her lungs to constrict even more.

Although the medication from the inhaler helped her lungs regain the ability to breathe, it did nothing to remove the ache of her throat from Pierce's grasp, the tenderness of her left cheek, nor the sharp pinpricks of emotional pain that kept stabbing her heart. But breathing was a start, and when she didn't feel as if she would completely unravel if she moved out of the small ball she had tucked herself into, Anna moved to her bag across the room and pulled out the clothes James had brought her. The pad of paper fell out as she did, and once Anna had slipped into the black tee and jeans, she curled back up on the bed with the paper.

Flipping through the pages, she found the ones with the hangman and tic-tac-toe boards. She knew it would hurt, but Anna let herself get lost in the memory. It was shortly after James had first spoken to her, and she remembered how nice it was to hear his voice guessing the letters to her puzzles. His handwriting was small and cramped on his own puzzles. The letters he'd scratched in the boxes jumbled together, making it hard to tell where one started and the other ended. One of his phrases had been her name, just her name. Seeing it written there, in his handwriting, had her remembering the way he'd always called her Anya with a slight Russian accent to it. That memory had the knife twisting deeper into her heart, and she allowed herself a few more tears before she tucked the sound of his voice saying her name away in her mind.

When a knock sounded at Anna's door just before it was flung open, Anna quickly stuffed the paper under the blankets. Glancing up she found Rumlow standing a few feet in front of her. He tossed her a bag of ice, which she just stared at after she'd caught it. It prompted Rumlow to tell her it was for her face. Of course, Anna already knew that; she just didn't care what her face looked like. Let it show the beating she took, it was her reminder that everything that went down could have been prevented had she thought things through before she acted.

"Pierce wants you to clear the asset. Before we leave." Rumlow announced, once he realized Anna wasn't going to use the ice he brought.

The news hadn't been at all what she had expected, and it had a nervous feeling settling in her stomach beside the heavy sadness that had already moved in overnight. Anna hadn't considered having to see James so soon after the wipe. She hadn't mentally prepared herself for it. Handling the emotional torture of James not recognizing her, that wasn't something she was sure she could do. Not that she had much of a choice. She knew better than to defy Pierce's orders. When he said he'd kill her, it wasn't a bluff. She had the bruises to prove it.

Without a word, Anna uncurled her legs and rose from her spot on the bed. Letting Rumlow lead the way, Anna followed behind him as slowly as she dared. When they reached the infirmary door, she hesitated, her anxiety rising at the fear of seeing James void of all memory of her. Closing her eyes and taking a steadying breath, Anna finally forced herself to step into the room and face whatever version of James was waiting for her inside.

James sat rigidly on the edge of the chair, blindly staring at the wall, just like the first time she had met him. He made no move to look at her as she approached, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It let Anna pretend, for a moment, that he was just caught up in his thoughts, and that any minute he'd turn towards her and murmur her name. That thought died as soon as she stood in front of him with the clipboard and his eyes finally turned to study her. They were void of anything: no emotion, no recognition, just cold and blue. It was their emptiness that had her heart jumping to her throat. What had they done to him?

"I'm going to take your pulse, okay?" Anna asked softly, telling herself not to expect a response, to not set herself up for more disappointment.

Without any sign from James to indicate he'd even heard her, Anna moved her hand toward his wrist, bracing herself in case his metal arm went to grab her like the first time. It didn't, and that hurt Anna all the more. He hadn't even tried to stop her, as if he just didn't care about anything; he was just following orders. With his complete lack of expression and emotion, it surprised Anna to find James' pulse beating strong and fast underneath her fingers. She had to retake it to make sure she'd gotten it right. She had.

It didn't make sense. James' pulse shouldn't be that fast, not when his whole body emanated calmness. Grabbing the thermometer from the table, Anna watched as James went through the motion to allow her to take his temperature. It was perfectly normal, for him. James body temperature had always run higher than the average person. When his reflexes were normal, and his eyes reacted as they should to the light, Anna was running out of reasons as to why his pulse, and blood pressure, were running higher than what was normal for him. It had to be an effect from the electrical charge of the machine Hydra used to wipe him, because he was perfectly healthy, in the physical sense, otherwise.

"You're good to go," Anna announced once she'd concluded that there was no physical ailment causing his increased pulse. She was trying her best to sound normal, and was a little impressed with herself at how well she was holding it together. Much better than she had expected, but part of that was due to her having to focus on her job. "Unless you have any questions for me?"

He didn't. In fact, the moment she had cleared him, James rose mechanically from his seat. Anna couldn't help but watch him as he took his suit from the agent in the corner, suiting up for whatever mission he had been given. Now that she didn't have the distraction of medicine, Anna was beginning to feel the pressure of anxiety resting on her chest. Before she gave into the anxiety, Anna made her way to the door. She wasn't required anymore, she'd finished what she'd been ordered to do. Which meant she didn't have to stay there and torture herself any longer. It was just her luck that Rumlow was waiting for her just outside the infirmary door, where he had been watching the interaction between Anna and the asset.

"I told you he wouldn't remember you." Rumlow commented just before she passed him. His words made her pause, as he had meant them to. They hit her harder than even Anna would have anticipated, and all of the emotions she'd tried so hard to bottle up came spilling out in the form of pure rage. Using her whole body to gain momentum, Anna sent her tensed fist at Rumlow's face, hitting him in the jaw.

"Bastard," she muttered. Unfortunately, she only got a few minutes of satisfaction before the pain set in and her whole hand felt like it was throbbing. "Damn, what is your face made out of, granite? Did you even feel that?"

"It stung a little," Rumlow shrugged. His nonchalance over the fact that Anna had just punched him only pissed her off more. "You want that ice now?"

Anna simply sent him a glare before moving her attention to her sore hand. It was already bruising, just one more area to add to the long list of discoloration her skin had suffered in the last 12 hours. It was as she was studying her newest bruise, testing if anything was broken by flexing her fingers, that Rumlow snapped the handcuffs on her. Just when Anna thought he couldn't be a bigger ass, he proved her wrong.

"I thought it only stung a little." Anna muttered as she returned to glaring up at Rumlow, holding out her handcuffed wrists for an explanation.

"All Hydra agents are going today. Which means you get to go on a fieldtrip." Rumlow explained gruffly. Anna already had a feeling she wasn't going to like this 'fieldtrip.'

Before Anna could ask for an elaboration, not that she expected to get much of one, she was distracted by James. Fully suited up, he passed by Rumlow and Anna without so much as a glance as he followed Rollins' down the hall. The frustration and anger that Anna had been channeling to divert her from the pain started to slip away at the small reminder that James wasn't even the same person she'd met the first day there. As she fought to keep the pain under control, Rumlow inadvertently helped her as he pushed her gently forward to get her to follow after James. It was the one time his ass-like tendencies were beneficial, as it allowed her to focus on her annoyance with him for the moment.

Anna wasn't familiar at all with the surroundings they were passing, probably due to the fact that the last time she had been taken down those halls, she had been unconscious. Eventually the endless tunnels of hallways led to the outside world, and the brightness of daylight had Anna squinting until her eyes adjusted. When they did, it was to find a half dozen SUVs waiting by the curb. She was herded by Rumlow towards the second SUV, and it didn't escape her notice that James was loading into the first one.

Anna found herself focusing on James' back as she waited for Rumlow to force her into the car, unable to advert her gaze. Almost as if she enjoyed torturing herself. James tensed for a moment and, as if he felt her eyes on him, turned his head back towards Anna before the door closed on him. The momentarily hopeful flutter in her chest at James' movement evaporated when she took in the same blank look that he'd given her in the infirmary. Thankfully, Rumlow was there making her move into the backseat of the SUV, and distracting her once again.

They started moving, rolling out like a train, once Rumlow climbed in on the other side, taking the seat beside Anna. For a long while, Anna kept her gaze out the window, taking in the sights of DC that she'd seen a thousand times. It didn't take her long to figure out where they were headed, where the mission was taking place, as she'd had to take a bus or cab to SHIELD many a times before.

"So, what's so important about this mission that's got all of Hydra storming SHIELD?" Anna finally asked as they came to stop at a red light.

"Let's just say, it's the start of a new order," Rumlow answered cryptically. "It's our job to get it started, and the asset's job to make sure the Captain doesn't get in the way." The second part of Rumlow's answer was what had Anna finally whipping her head around to face him.

"Steve's alive?" She hadn't had time to dwell on it much yesterday, when she found out James' mission had been Steve. With all the other surprises yesterday had brought, Anna had never gotten around to finding out what happened to Steve. Discovering that he was still out there, alive and fighting Hydra, was a relief, not to mention the only good news she'd heard in a while.

"He won't be for long," Rumlow grunted, his lips twitching up a little at the thought of Captain America being exterminated from history, like he should have been decades ago.

"I wouldn't bet on that. Steve's resilient." He'd crashed a plane crash into freezing artic waters and survived to be thawed out years later. And that didn't take into account all the emotional turmoil he'd had to suffer through.

"His sentiment will be his downfall." Rumlow insisted as the car came to a stop again. This time it was to park behind the first car along the curb. Anna was confused by Rumlow's remark, until she saw James climb out from the car in front of them. He wasn't wearing his mask. Which meant when he caught up to Steve, his identity would not be hidden. If there was one thing Anna knew about Steve, it was that he couldn't hurt the people he loved, even if he tried. Which would undoubtedly give James' the upper hand.

"Do you have any idea of the mental and emotional consequences of making James' kill his best friend will have on him?" Anna demanded when she finally caught up to Hydras' thought process. A thought process that was thoroughly and truly demented.

"The asset doesn't have friends. None that he remembers, at least." Rumlow's words were like a slap to the face. Instead of letting the pain settle, Anna once again channeled the pain into the hatred that she felt for Hydra, the organization that had started it all, that had caused so much pain and destruction.

"So Hydra has to resort to playing dirty to win," Anna spat back at him. How weak must Hydra be to resort to mental and emotional manipulation to succeed? Dirty tricks and foul play were only used by those who weren't strong enough to fight fair and win. There was no glory in winning from a cheap shot.

"At least we'll win." Rumlow's answer just illustrated exactly why Anna had never liked him. Only selfish, immature, bullies didn't care what they had to do to get what they wanted. Still, when the immature bully opened the door, Anna slid over behind him, preparing to follow him out of the car before his arm barred her from exiting the vehicle. "This is for your own good, Stark," He muttered before slamming the door in her face, momentarily stunning Anna.

"Seriously!" Anna shouted through the glass at him once she'd returned to her senses. "You're just going to leave me in here?" The only answer she got was Rumlow turning his back on her and following the other agents. He could have at least cracked a window.

Not willing to give up so easily, Anna spent the next twenty minutes futilely banging her fists, shoulder, and even her feet against the window in an attempt to shatter it. It only resulted in pain, as the thick windows barely rattled against her efforts. Stupid bulletproof glass. And stupid Hydra Agents for leaving her stranded in a car. There wasn't even anyone around to help her, as they had parked off the beaten path somewhere near the Potomac River. Which struck her as odd at first, when they didn't drive straight into SHIELD headquarters. Then again, they probably figured she was less likely to be discovered on the side street then in the SHIELD parking garage. They were right. Seeing as no one seemed to notice the petite brunette banging against the tinted window of the SUV and cursing at the person who had ever thought up the idea of the missile proof, bulletproof, soundproof, Anna proof glass that SHIELD used on their vehicles, before realizing there was a good chance it had been her father.

A/N I'm not sure about this chapter. It didn't turn out exactly how I wanted it. But hopefully I'm just being picky and you guys enjoyed it. If not, be kind when you're voicing your dislike pretty please. Anyways, I'm already working on the next chapter and I'm looking forward to posting it when it's finished as it is proving to be far superior to this one already. Alright enough of the depressing stuff.

I want to thank 1stBatgirl for editing a photo of Anna and James. Thank you for responding to my request of fanart. It's now posted to the pinterest page for this story :)

Thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter. I'm not sure why, but the response this story keeps getting never ceases to astound me. Same goes for all who favorite/follow this story. It's much appreciated.

Now for the guest review responses:

To the guest who commented on how the last chapter had to happen, but was heartbreaking: hope you enjoyed this installment even if it confirmed the fear that yes, it gets worse. Thanks for leaving me a review and letting me know your thoughts on the chapter!

To A Fan: let me say I loved your detailed review, it made me smile. You even quoted the story in it which is real dedication! Yes, James is completely sweet on Anya, but has no real idea about what he's feeling because he's not used to feeling at all. I'm glad you enjoyed the little explanation of Rumlow's feelings. I know he's depicted as an ass, but I feel even those people can have feelings way way deep down…maybe lol. And oh yeah, Tony would do way more then tell Rumlow he's friend-zoned. He'd probably threaten him. With Iron Man and Missiles and all that good stuff. With your whole desire to punch Rumlow, I hope you enjoyed Anna's reaction to his comment in this chapter. All I can say is, you're right, he deserved it. I hate to say I'm happy I made you cry, but that means I did a good job with writing the chapter. Thank you so much for your long review. Again, it made me smile :)

To the guest who commented that Anna/James both need hugs: yes, they do. Preferably from one another. But any hug would do.

To the guest who said I should update sooner: I try to update as quickly as possible. I usually end up getting a chapter a day up. You mentioned you can't read this fic anymore because you're starting your job next week. I know jobs are time consuming, but there's always the weekends to catch up!

To Birdy, the guest who mentioned the last chapter was worth waiting for: Thank you, I am so glad you felt that way! As I've mentioned to previous reviewers, I am flattered that you think it was heartbreaking, that means I'm writing it correctly! Lol Your sympathy for Rumlow is understandable, my sister would say the same thing. She has a soft spot for 'bad' guys. You complimenting my take on Bucky's personality was very much appreciated. I'm glad you like how I portray him.

To the guest who mentioned how Anna standing up to stronger people reminds them of pre-serum steve: Yes, she does share a lot of qualities that Steve has. That's why they became so close so fast at SHIELD…and why Tony was eager to 'friend-zone' Steve. Anna doesn't like backing down from people, even if she knows she's gonna lose. It's just not in her nature.

I think that's all of them. If I missed responding to your guest review I apologize! I try to get them all.

Rach

xoxo