Rehabilitate Chapter 11

I'm super nervous about posting this. Sorry it took a little longer to get up. Here it is ~Rach xoxo

The Winter Soldier had eventually passed out on the chair, as he did every time they wiped him. Hydra would normally just leave him there until he regained consciousness. That time was no different. Opening his eyes slowly, it took a few minutes for the blurry edges to subside. When they did, it took him a few more minutes to get his bearings. When the agent that was ordered to stay with him noticed he'd woken up, he quickly left the room to let the others know.

The Soldier didn't recognize him, but that was no surprise. The wipe erased all memories including peoples' faces as well as the events leading up to the wipe. It had James' hating the time after the wipe, not knowing what he had done to make them wipe him. Whenever he tried to remember what had happened, he always came up empty. Still, he tried every time. And that time, when he concentrated hard, he managed to come up with a single blurry image: a girl with brown hair staring down at him. It was too hazy for him to pick out any details, and when the iron bars on the door to the room clanked shut, her image was whisked away.

"Rumlow, get him up, see if he can stand." Pierce ordered as the two came to stand before him. Rumlow immediately obeyed, moving to the Soldier's side and leaning down to help hoist him to his feet. That's when the Soldier noticed it, the picture on the card that hung on the lanyard around Rumlow's neck. It had fallen out from under the agent's armor when Rumlow shifted the Soldier's arm over his own shoulder. Images of the girl on the card flashed through the Soldier's mind: her smile, her head on his chest, her voice calling him James. They were slowly becoming clearer. She was the girl who had been staring down at him when he'd first regained consciousness.

"Anya," James whispered when her name finally came to him. With her name came other images. The memories kept swimming to the surface.

"What?" Rumlow demanded, glancing at James in slight disbelief as his grip loosened, causing James to sag back onto the chair. James didn't answer right away, as he didn't have an answer. But he knew it was there, in the back of his mind. And if he lost his focus, the answer would slip away. Concentrating on the ID badge helped him pull the memories closer. It had been his. She had given it to him. He couldn't remember why, or how Rumlow got it, but it had been his.

As he tried to remember more, it was like trying to tune the dials of a radio to find a specific station and just getting static. Like trying to hear someone when your head was underwater. Her voice was garbled, but it called out to him, whispering the name she had given him. When he finally reached a breakthrough it was like resurfacing from water, as he gasped in memories instead of air. He could practically feel her hands on his face, whispering his name in order to calm him. His heartbeat increased at the memory, just like it had in the memory.

"What did you do with Anya?" James demanded, fighting past the pain as he clung to the memories of her, afraid they might disappear. He had to know what happened to her, if she was okay. They had tried to kill her. Would have killed her. If he hadn't stopped them. Even if it meant he'd have to go through the torture of the wipe again, he needed to make sure she was still alive.

Rumlow stared at the asset for a moment, shock coloring his expression. It had been a long time since the asset had needed multiple sessions to remove a memory. Rumlow hadn't even been alive the last time it had happened, but he'd read the file. It had been back in the 60's when they'd first removed him from cryofreeze. He woke up muttering about Rogers. It had taken several more attempts before he stopped.

"Should we wipe him again, sir?" Rumlow asked, glancing back at Pierce, and ignoring the Winter Soldier's question.

Pierce didn't answer right away, thinking through the options he had. He could try to wipe the Soldier again, to eliminate every trace of the girl, as had been the original plan. But a new idea was forming in his head, one that was less time consuming and guaranteed immediate results. Not remembering had worked for Hydra before, because the person the Soldier cared most about had been fighting against them. Now, they had the person that meant the most to the Soldier in their grasps, under their control.

"No, we can use this to our advantage." Pierce announced, much to Rumlow's disappointment. Before Rumlow could say a word, Pierce had snatched Anna's ID and pulled it free from the lancet. A few shards of plastic broke off, but it was left mainly intact.

"You remember Anna?" Pierce asked harshly as he held up Anya's ID in front of James' face. James glared at him, his fists tensing at the memory of Pierce backhanding Anya, before he nodded tightly. Noticing the asset's hostility toward him simply solidified the new plan in Pierce's mind. "Good." Pierce murmured, a sadistic smile on his face.

"What did you do with her?" James repeated, a little harsher than he had before. Pierce had been the one who had attempted to take Anya's life. James remembered the tight grip Pierce had around her throat, cutting off her air supply. If James hadn't interceded, Pierce would have suffocated her. Knowing that Pierce was happy that James remembered Anya didn't sit right with James, it had him terrified something bad had happened to her. Because Pierce wouldn't be happy he remembered unless it would break him.

"She's safe, for the time being." Pierce assured him, with the same sadistic smile. "See, the mind is a tricky thing. It rebels against being altered and manipulated, takes a few tries to remove every memory it's ever held. And, obviously, it's going to take multiple wipes to erase the girl from your mind. So here's what's going to happen. You act like you don't remember her, make her believe she is nothing to you, and she lives. You go on your mission and kill the target, and she lives. But. If you fail at either of those, if the target succeeds. Well, then your little Anya gets a bullet to the head and a shallow grave in the desert."

Pierce's threat had James' grip tightening around the arms of the chair as he set his jaw. He knew it wasn't an empty one. Pierce would follow through on his promise. So no matter what, there was no way James wouldn't follow his new orders to the T. When he nodded stiffly in acceptance of Pierce's terms, it had the Hydra leader's smug smile growing.

"You can keep that," Pierce commented as he tossed Anna's ID in James' lap. "A reminder of what you have to lose should you not succeed in doing exactly as I said."

James took hold of the tiny plastic card, immediately slipping it back into his pocket where it belonged. He'd need that little piece of Anya to keep with him while he completed the mission he'd been given. Because she had to think he didn't remember her. He couldn't draw strength or comfort from her before leaving. So he needed the next best thing: something of hers that she'd given to him.

"Rumlow, retrieve the doctor." Pierce's order, given as he was leaving the infirmary, drew James' attention away from the card and back to reality. A reality where Anya would be walking through the door Pierce had just exited, and James would have to do his damnedest not to show any recognition; to not respond to her.

It was incredibly hard not to look at Anya when she entered the room. What was harder was finally having to look at her, seeing the complete despair in her eyes, and not reacting to it. But he managed. He kept his desire to reach out to her—to tell her he was still there, that he remembered—hidden behind a blank stare. The only thing he couldn't hide was the way his pulse sped up when she pressed her fingers against his skin. And that one involuntary response almost cost him. He could see the confused crinkling of her face as Anya tried to comprehend why his pulse was racing. Eventually, she gave up on it. After a very painstakingly thorough examination.

As soon as she cleared him, James was out of the chair, moving as far from Anya as he could in the small room. Using his suit as a distraction, James slowly began to strap on all the layers. It didn't escape his notice that Anya slipped out after that. He could breathe a little easier with her gone. There was no risk of him messing up when she wasn't there.

He thought the worst would be over once he left headquarters. That he could finally give into the rush of emotions he'd felt, some of which he didn't quite understand, once out in the open. Until he turned to find Rumlow loading Anya into the car behind his. Was he bringing Anya along just to torture him? Not just him, but Anya as well. Because it was easy to see how much it was hurting her, James' indifference. Whatever the reason, whoever Rumlow was trying to hurt, there was nothing James could do about it. He'd just have to hope wherever Rumlow was taking her, it was safe. That it would be far away from the blood bath Hydra was planning to unleash.

When he was alone, behind the protection of the tinted windows, was when James allowed himself to pull out the ID. Just as with the last mission, he only let himself have a few moments before slipping it back into place and going through his mental preparation. He needed to let go of everything in order to focus on the target. The stakes were higher now than they'd ever been.

By the time they reached the rendezvous point, James was ready to do what he had to do. Bracing himself to hold onto that stability whenever Anya exited from the vehicle behind him, it turned out to be unnecessary as Rumlow locked her in, leaving her behind. Hearing Anya screaming and pounding on the window had James' hands locking into fists. He knew what it was like to feel trapped in a confined space, not knowing when you'd be released, only knowing it'd be at the mercy of those who put you there. No one should have to go through that. Especially not Anya. And though he couldn't do anything about it now, when it was all over, and he'd secured Anya's life, he was coming back for her.

…

When they reached SHIELD, James split from the other Hydra agents. They had their orders, and he had his. He needed to find the target. The sooner he did, the sooner he could eliminate him and the sooner it would all be over. When he heard the target's voice over the loudspeaker, giving the orders for SHIELD agents to keep the helicarriers from launching, it had adrenaline pumping through his veins. All he needed was a location. And when the helicarriers did end up launching, James had a pretty good idea of where to find the target.

Keeping to the shadows he moved through SHIELD towards the flight deck. If he was going to reach the helicarriers, he would need a plane to get him there. Acquiring a plane became a little more interesting than James had anticipated, as he found the flight deck full of SHELD pilots, preparing for flight and planning on providing aid to the target. Something that was rather stupid, as it just painted a target on each of their backs. The first rule James had learned from the KGB was anyone who tried to help a target, became a target. So, by KGB standards, James had just acquired quite a few more targets.

The sheer number of people he needed to dispose of in the allotted time that he had, led to James choosing the missile gun first. It could perform more widespread destruction; more targets taken care of with less effort. Aiming for the plane that had just taken off, the explosion caused several on the ground to fall as well. Waiting to see which plane was next, James ended up using the second missile on the plane that was ambulating to the runway before he traded the missile launcher for an automatic. Locking in on to an approaching pilot, James hit the target's carotid artery, killing him instantaneously. However, not before the target had managed to pull the safety off a grenade. As the body fell, the grenade rolled towards him. Never one to waste ammo, James snatched it up, using it against the dead pilot's colleagues as he tossed it into the nearest plane just as the hatch was closing

By that time, the SHIELD pilots had changed their mission to helping the target, to attempting to stop James. They began firing on him, but James simply blocked the bullets with his metal arm, firing back with the other, as he kept moving towards his goal: the last remaining pilot plane. He had incidentally grounded the other ones. The last one as a result of him kicking one of the pilots into the propeller. When he finally reached the plane, it was to find the cockpit already filled. However, a shot to the pilot's head through the glass freed up some space. Pushing the pilot aside James took control of the wheel, heading towards the only helicarrier that hadn't been infiltrated by the target. Alpha and beta were down, which left theta as the target's next destination.

A little ahead of schedule, James arrived before the target, forcing him to wait. James didn't like to wait. He preferred constant action on missions, focusing in on the targets and taking them down. Waiting lead to losing adrenaline, and James needed all the adrenaline he could get. Because one moment of weakness, one slip up, one time where he wasn't at his top form, and it wasn't just his memory on the line, it was Anya's life.

Thankfully, he didn't have to wait too long. He could hear the target landing on the carrier moments later, and he wasn't alone. There were two voices, and they were getting closer to where James stood, crouched and ready to attack behind one of the cargo packages. He didn't have time to adjust his plan, they were too close. He'd just have to take the target down first, and deal with the extra later. With the target's image locked in James' mind, the second he saw the glimpse of his uniform James launched himself at him, sending the target crashing through the guardrail and over the edge of the carrier.

As expected, the sidekick immediately went to follow the target to offer aid. Predictable as it was, James reacted on reflex when the man with the mechanical wings attempted to jump off the edge as well, grabbing one of the wings and ripping him backwards. Somehow, the sidekick managed to stay in flight and as he slowed his backwards momentum, he started firing shots at James and forcing him to take cover. It had James gritting his teeth in annoyance. He didn't have time for this. He needed to ensure the target was finished off. But the sidekick just wouldn't quit. His wings gave him an advantage, meaning the first step to getting rid of him was taking away his ability to be airborne.

Reaching for a weapon that wasn't ever in his top favorites, James stepped around his cover just enough to send a grappling hook sailing into one of the sidekick's wings. With one tug James brought the flying man down. Pulling tightly once more resulted in the wing snapping off, a very satisfying sound. Wanting to ensure the sidekick didn't get in James' way again he charged him, kicking him backwards and off of the helicarrier. Satisfied that he would not be a problem anymore, James stalked back over to the side of the helicarrier where the target had fallen, only to find him climbing his way back up the side of the wing. Fists clenched and jaw set James turned away. He'd seen where the target was headed, and this time when James caught up to him, he would make sure the target stayed down.

"People are gonna die Buck, I can't let that happen." The target called out to James when he finally met up with him on the bridge. James already knew people were going to die, they already had. The only life James cared about saving was Anya's. And in order to do that, people had to die, including the target. That's why he pushed away the name the target had used. It tugged at the back of his mind, trying to pull up a memory. James knew he'd heard the name before, somewhere. But that time, James didn't want to remember. Because remembering could mean hesitating, and hesitation could cost him the mission.

When James didn't react to the target's plea not to make him do 'this,' the target sent his shield flying at him. James deflected it with his arm before pulling handguns from their holsters and sending off several rounds as the target made his way towards James. Only one of the shots made it past the shield, but it didn't do much damage as it simply nicked the target. Absorbing a blow from the shield caused James to lose his grip on the guns as they fell off the sides of the platform where they stood. Instead of pulling another gun, James went for his knife before charging the target again. He managed to kick out the target's knee, gaining the upper hand momentarily, before the target used the damn shield to push him back again.

Several more attempts ending with the shield forcing him away from the target and James was beyond frustrated. With a guttural yell he once again charged the target, successfully separating him from the shield, as they both tumbled over the railing and onto the metal platform below. The fall caused the target to drop something, the same thing that he'd been trying to place in the helicarriers main base. Figuring it was important to the target, James made a run at the target in order to try and keep him away from it.

Keeping the target away from the device ended up being more difficult than he originally anticipated. The target had jumped off the platform after the device when James knocked it out of his hands and over the edge, though not before kicking James off in retaliation. While the target had a head start, James managed to get his hand on the shield and sent it flying back at the target just as he was about to reach for the device only to have the target catch it and fling it right back at him. Which was fine with James. It would be easier to kill him if he didn't have the shield. Point being, he was finally successful in stabbing the target in the shoulder, creating enough time for James to grab the device that seemed to be the key to preventing the target from finishing his mission.

It did not, however, completely disable the target, as he came right back, first trying to strangle him before putting him in an arm lock to try and get him to drop the device. It only made James tighten his grip, refusing to drop it even when his shoulder popped out of place. He could take the physical pain. He would not let the target have the device. He would not let the target succeed. Failure wasn't an option. Because of all the torture James could endure—wiping, starvation, cryofreeze—he couldn't take the torture of Anya dying from his failure.

When the target moved to a chokehold, James fought it as long as he could, pounding his metal arm into his side. It was working until the target managed to pin it beneath his legs. By that time the edge of James' vision was already turning black and he could feel the device slipping out of his hand. The target didn't release his grip when the device fell, instead he waited for James slipped into unconsciousness.

By the time James regained consciousness, the target was already halfway to the main base. Ignoring the ache of his shoulder, James reached for his last gun with his metal arm. Taking aim, James hit the target in the leg. When it only stalled the target, he round off another shot, that time hitting the hand that was about to take hold on the next rung of metal. Once again, the target kept climbing as if he hadn't just been shot twice.

Moving to get a better angle, James made his third shot count. It was a clean hit, straight through the back and it finally resulted in the target going down. It was finally over. At least, that's what James thought until the target braced himself against the railing before taking the damned device and connecting it with the base. It didn't take long for James to discover exactly what the little square piece of metal did, as cannons started firing at the helicarriers, including the one James was on.

As another shot hit the helicarrier it caused James to lose his balance before a metal support came crashing down, pinning him to the glass floor. That's when the possibility that he might end up failing his mission really hit him. He couldn't kill the target if he was pinned to the ground. It was that thought that had him setting his jaw in determination as he struggled desperately to get free. He couldn't fail. Anya was the cost of failing.

When the target dropped down to his level, James assumed he was coming to finish him off. To his surprise, the target began pulling on the metal support, trying to lift it. He was helping. James was trying to kill him, and the target was still trying to save him. It was stupid, but it also gave James hope. Because as soon as he was free, he'd have another shot at completing his mission.

"You know me," the target insisted once James was free. He hadn't even taken a defensive stance, as if, because the target had saved James, it would make James let the target go.

"No I don't," James shouted, sending his mechanical arm flying towards the targets face, only to hit the shield.

"Bucky, you've known me your whole life." There was that name again, stirring something in his memory. But he forced it back, once again sending his metal arm flying towards the man who was costing him Anya. That time it connected with the target's face.

"Your name is James Buchanan Barnes." The target continued, his words making James pause. Suddenly, it wasn't the target's voice he was hearing, but Anya's. She had said the exact same thing, before the wipe. The memory had him hearing her voice again. Steve called you Bucky for short.

"Shut up!" James shouted, half to the target, and half to Anya's memory. He didn't need the target or Anya trying to get him to remember what he was desperately trying to push down: that the target might just be someone he knew. Because if he thought that for a minute, he might hesitate when it came down to completing the mission. He couldn't afford that. Anya couldn't afford that.

"I'm not going to fight you. You're my friend." His name is Steve Rogers. He was your best friend. That time, Anya's words were followed by images of a scrawnier version of the target who was calling him by the name the target kept insisting on calling him: Bucky. It had him cursing to himself in his head. Why was his mind doing this to him? He didn't want to remember the target.

"You're my mission," James grunted, tackling the target in hopes to jostle the memories out of his brain. He needed to do this. He needed to kill the target. James knew he wouldn't be able to if the memories didn't stop. And the memories wouldn't stop if he kept allowing the target to talk. No more talking would be allowed.

The only way James could see of preventing the target form talking, was to keep hitting him until he passed out. He was succeeding in that endeavor, as his metal fist kept smashing into the target's face, until seeing the target's lip bloodied and bruised had another image of that scrawny version of the target in a similar state of bloody and beaten burning through his mind. The memory had James' pausing with his fist raised, ready but not quite willing to throw another punch.

"Then finish it, 'cause I'm with you till the end of the line." That time the target's words didn't have Anya's voice playing in James head, but his own. He had said that before, to that scrawny version of the target that kept forcing its way into his mind.

Before James could decide what to do, whether to continue beating the man he wasn't sure was just another anonymous target anymore, another beam fell taking the glass floor with it. James managed to grab a hold of a remaining part of the carrier, but the target wasn't so lucky. As James hung there, watching the target fall towards the river, it was like déjà vu. Only before, he had been the one falling. The image of snow and mountains flashed across James' eyes, as well as the target, reaching for him, trying to save him while calling out to him.

By the time James blinked away the image, the target had already hit the water. His mission was over. The target wasn't in any condition to swim. Not after being shot three times then almost beaten to the point of unconsciousness. Which meant James had succeeded, he had won. Except, there was a part of him that felt like he'd lost. And that feeling, as well as Anya's voice reminding him he was your best friend made walking away impossible. So James let go, falling after the target.

As soon as he hit the water, James was diving down further until his metal arm wrapped around the strap of the target's holster. It took some effort, dragging them both through the water with his hurt arm, but James managed. Luckily, they hadn't fallen too far off from shore, and he could rely on his legs for most of the trip. When he reached land, James dropped the unconscious target on the sand before leaving. The target was safe now, he would survive. Now all James cared about was getting to Anya before Hydra found out. The target surviving would guarantee her death if he didn't get to her first.

A/N There's a couple of reasons why this chapter didn't get posted yesterday as planned. One, after work my boyfriend and I went to his parents' house where my computer has a hard time connecting to wifi unless I'm right up next to the router…which was in his parent's room. I finished this at 4 in the morning so that wasn't an option. Another reason this took so long to write was because the whole end fight scene with James and Steve was really hard for me to write and it took a couple of tries before I came up with this end result. Anyways, enough excuses. Thanks again to all of you who favorite/followed and reviewed this story. I'm sorry I made ya wait a little longer for this! Hope it was worth the wait :) I'm expecting mixed reviews about this chapter, so once again I ask you to be as kind as possible with any negative comments you have about it. This one was the hardest one for me to write/get out on paper and when I did I was half considering chucking it out and continuing with a different plot.

Now onto guest review responses!

To the guest who commented that I did the last chapter beautifully. Thank you, I'm glad to hear it wasn't as poorly written as I first thought! Secondly, I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)

To the guest who commented that they were curious to know what James was thinking when he saw anna: This pretty much answered that question. I hope you liked seeing his POV.

To the guest whose birthday was on march 5 and who reviewed: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! I'm glad you liked your present, I put a lot of thought into it lol. I'm glad that, while the last chapter pulled on your heartstrings, that you still found hope. As you probably know by now that hope was not a lost one. Hope you enjoyed this!

To the guest who hopes James isn't 'friendzoned': thank you for the review! I'm so happy you're enjoying the story so much as well as Anna/James. As for the friendzoned comment, did you mean you hope Anna didn't friendzone him or that Tony doesn't? I'm thinking you meant Tony, but if you did mean Anna, I can safely say that she has not friendzoned him

To Birdy: I commend you on your theory, and it entertained me immensely as you weren't too far off. I hope you consider the future plot I have as big things to happen because if not that means this story will get boring fast. And I wouldn't want that. Sorry I didn't get this out yesterday, I know you mentioned how you missed when I skipped a day of posting. But, it was necessary to take that extra day. Otherwise this chapter would be a complete mess.

To the guest who commented that they love the story and for me to update soon: I'm so happy to hear that you love it. I never get tired of hearing it actually. The tony part of my brain is telling you to keep saying how lovely it is. Heck, even the Rachel part of my brain would like that lol.

Rach

xoxo